Earlier tonight I watched the new ABC show, No Ordinary Family, and was met with mixed results. I thought I was going to sit down and watch a family drama, or maybe even a comedy...but it was neither. It was just...a show. It seems like it is genre-less. I mean, there was "drama" per se, but it wasn't anything all that eventful. No one gets kidnapped, hurt, molested, donkey-punched, or anything that would produce this thing called "drama." Ok, the daughter breaks up with her boyfriend. DRAMA! Oh, and the wife has to cancel dinner plans, but the Thing is happy about it so he can continue to have bullet catching time with the black guy from The 40 Year Old Virgin. Does this show have emotions?
The show starts off with Jim Powell (Michael Chiklis) trying to get his family to go on a vacation to Brazil, because they don't spend any time together anymore. Flash immediately to the airplane in a storm. Well, the plane goes down, the pilot is killed, and the family is trapped in the jungle in the middle of Brazil. Then they are captured by rebels and are subject to crazy medical experiments that give them superpowers...oh wait. They swim through what appears to be semen-filled water and wash up on shore. But they struggle to get home, right? Nope. They are fucking home in the next shot. No explanation on how they got out of the fucking jungle.
Well Jim is a police sketch artist, amazingly able to get access to a gun and police radios. Convenient. So he finds out that he's The Thing and the Incredible Hulk mixed together. The station attorney (Romany Malco) helps him do things, even though he's reluctant at first.
Jim's unbelievably hot wife, Stephanie (Julie Benz), is a scientist. Sorry, don't believe it, she's too hot. Oh, and she doesn't have enough time in her life to get everything done...yet she's never doing any work...except for the presentation she did. Well, guess what. She's the fucking Flash now. Convenient.
The son, JJ (Jimmy Bennett), is a dumb-ass. He is recommended for remedial classes. Well guess what, fucking teachers, he's super smart now. Convenient.
The daughter, Daphne (Kay Panabaker), is a total bitch. She thinks she's awesome. She can now read minds. She finds out no one likes her. Suck it, bitch! Sidenote: she's 20, so I can have bad thoughts of her butt.
The other people on it are the dad from 7th Heaven (Stephen Collins) and the girl who played Lizzie Grant from the later seasons of Entourage (Autumn Reeser). She's a super nerd in this show. It's kinda hot, but she's not good at being nerdy.
Spoiler Alert: Well, the big conflict near the end of the episode culminates with Jim fighting Nightcrawler. So you know that there are other mutants. It was actually a pretty cool fight too. Nightcrawler was a white guy in the show, but literally disappeared like Nightcrawler did in X2: X-Men United. Oh, it's probably because Disney (ABC) owns Marvel. So I expect to see Magneto as the main villian, and someone will probably have metal claws/bones in season 4...if this show makes it that far.
End Spoiler
Based on the first episode, this show is shit. I'll have to wait for a couple more to make a better judgment. I want it to be good, but it is ABC.
1 comment:
Isn't it funny how we tune in to watch shows that we think are going to be total shit, and they end up being total shit, and we keep watching them anyway, e.g., Royal Pains, The Colony...
(also, what's with all the donkey-punching Hock? Too much free time?)
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