1000!!!

Hooray, Bitches! We have officially hit the 1000 mark!

Let the parades begin! Summon the dancers! Get the orgy started! Touch someone inappropriately as they pass by but pretend like it was an accident and act really embarrassed until they turn around, then give your homie a high five! Advance to Reading Railroad! Watch some good 'ole fashioned American grown porn! Spark a bowl! Fuck it, spark several bowls! Have a beer! Fuck it, have several beers! Tell people that you are above the law! Tell people that you ARE the law! Enjoy that post coital cigarette just a little bit more! Sing like everyone can hear you and you can sing like nobody's business-except you, Cottonmouth, you already can. You just spark another bowl! Travel back in time and get your parents to fall in love at the under the sea dance and play Johnny B Good in order to save yourself from disappearing! Open a new credit card with a ridiculously high limit and an even more ridiculous interest rate! Watch some good 'ole fashioned Asian porn! Tell your lover that you are, in fact, an assassin! Call Pizza Hut and ask them to tell you their number! Eat a couple really big meals, consisting mostly of PF Changs, and then take a football sized shit! Nuke imagination land! Buy a large quantity of grapes and learn how to make wine! Star in an episode of Scrubs! Touch another person inappropriately as they pass by, but this time let them know you did it on purpose and totally enjoyed it by winking and licking your lips in a sexy fashion! Fire all the Meter Maids! Make a totally unsubstantiated claim that you can fly in front of a large group of people and when they demand that you prove it just throw water balloons at them and then run! Bring me a beer! Write a completely ridiculous post just so you could snag 1000!