This week in the NFL

I figured that, being as how I would marry the game of football if I could, that I would dedicate some time to both College and the NFL while they are currently running my weekends. I figured I'd begin with the NFL first as there is always drama and intrigue to be found there.

This just in...Pacman Jones....you're still suspended. Commissioner Goodell says that you cannot return to the Titans organization until the conclusion of team play this season. You have tried to appeal but you just cannot take a hint can you? This guy means business and he is not going to tolerate insulate dumbasses like yourself making the league look bad. The game that you are grossly overpaid to play is getting along just fine without you, as is your team. Go sit in your large freakin' mansion and shut the hell up.

It always pains me to see such marvelous talent on a team that just sucks...but damn if they aren't fun to watch. 296 yards in one game and a new NFL record was recorded by Adrian Peterson of the Minne-Ha-Ha Vikings this past week, and what a performance it was over a seemingly resurgent San Diego Chargers team. Nothing like getting your asses run over by a then 2-5 team to make you take that step backward after you had just taken four forward. Good job San Diego defense, we salute you.

Don Shula, former coach of the only undefeated NFL team in history (the 1972 Dolphins), has said that if the Patriots go undefeated this year they should have an asterisk placed on the record due to SpyGate. I've got news for you Don, and don't take this as me defending these asshole Patriots and their smug coach, but you are way out of line here. One game (at least that's all they've been caught with) they cheat by taping the opposing sideline...it was the New York Jets. Need I say more? The team that is 1-8 now this season and couldn't beat Michigan State if they tried...although we'd have to make sure MSU doesn't get a lead to blow first. Don Shula how about a nice big glass of "Shut the Fuck Up."

Never have I had so much fun at a Detroit Lions game then I did this past weekend. A 44-7 beat down is just what the doctor ordered for a team that is now 6-2 and gaining national talks of being a legitimate team. I just wonder how we could have lost so badly to a Phily team that just stinks up every other game they touch (like a 38-17 beating given by Dallas on Sunday night). I can justify the loss to Washington because let's face it...we never win in Washington dating back to the massacre in 1991 when losing 45-10 in the NFC Championship game. Now if only it wasn't for those pesky Packers and their grandfather...I mean quarterback...Brett Favre and their 7-1 record keeping us just a hair out of first place. Oh Thanksgiving's matchup is going to be one for first place in the NFC North...who would have thought eh? Gooooo Lions!

Fuck the New England Patriots. Their coach is a jackass who has been caught cheating and also does not even have the common decency to shake your hand in a sportsmanlike manner following a marvelous game, which the Patriots unfortunately won at the hands of my Colts, against Tony Dungy. I don't understand what it is but somebody needs to get some pressure on Tom Brady (from!) and get his ass on the ground so that he cannot throw to wide open Randy Moss and Wes Welker. Pressure him and the mighty Patriots will fall.

A look ahead to next week shows several interesting games:
Detroit at Arizona (should be a Lion domination and a 7-2 record)
Minnesota at Green Bay (let's hope AP runs amok again and let's the Lions gain first place!)
St. Louis (at 0-8) at New Orleans (Can you say "Mercy Rule")
Cincinnati at Baltimore (Craptacular game and Cincy is 0-4 away from home)
Indianapolis at San Diego (Does San Diego really have that bad of a run defense? If they do, then put in Joseph Addai for your fantasy team because he will run forever)

Finally, I will conclude with this because it is probably the only thing that one of you on this blog actually cares about. Kiznox I am going to apologize in advance but I have got to say it...the Bengals have officially changed their name back to...THE BUNGALS! An astounding 2-6 season thus far has given way to the official name change. This team confuses me with the amount of talent they have at WR, RB, and QB. The two wins have been against mediocre teams in Baltimore and the previously mentioned New York Jets. Losses to a struggling Seattle team, the lowly Kansas City Chiefs, the Cleveland Browns, and the Buffalo Bills to name a few. The big comeback against the Jets should have lifted your spirits but instead you went out and laid an egg like the Bungals of old. Carson Palmer and company I say to you, "Welcome back! Boy did we miss those ugly jerseys and sloppy, inconsistent play."

Well that's all for now. I'll be back soon with "This week in College Football" and you all know some of the stories that I'll be talking about there.