I'm Scared

So I'm gonna pretty much detox for a while. No drugs, limited drinking, no smoking, and I'm going back to the gym. Oh and no hooking up. I made a bad decision and went home with someone and Ben found out about it, which sucked, and it made him really sad. But we just both said we're not gonna talk for a while and were not gonna hook up with other people til we're over each other because basically, he said I'm too good for that. Which is really nice, and we just left it on very good terms. But I'm pretty nervous about cleaning up... I feel like it defines so much about me. But this'll be good for me.

I know my sitch with Ben is fucked up, I know we're weird, but I feel good about this.

I know this is awkwardly written, I'm smoking the rest of this bud, or just throwing what I don't use away