hmm

So I just interviewed for an assistantship.

and I made a total ass of myself.

So, long story short, there's a VERY HIGH chance that I may not go to school next year. I'm sick of classes, and singers, and always being nervous about the fact that I (OH MY GOD) like to party. I absolutely love my friends here (even though I still miss you all like crazy) and I would be quite happy just working and making some money to pay off these loans. I'll still take voice lessons and all, but seriously, I'm so fucking over school. Also I'm bored like all the time because it doesn't take up enough of my life. I'm sick of feeling like I'm just sitting around waiting until Ben and his friends are available before I can do anything besides sit at home by myself and watch tv. It's not healthy. And speaking of which, I'm such a codependent mess that I feel depressed whenever I CAN'T hang out with him. I just don't know what to do - if he were to break up with me (which I don't think would happen but still) I would lose basically my entire group of friends. I don't know what to do.

I miss you guys