The Weekly WYR

It's been gone from College Humor with the holidays as I have been away from the Daily Clusterfuck. For that I apologize sincerely. Working full time and not really having any energy to sit down at my home computer after staring at one all day long at work is a reason and an excuse. Would it be me if I didn't come back with the WYR that you all know and love? Oh this brings back memories because I'm slacking at work. I don't normally get to anymore (like the old job) but it's Friday and I don't care. Let's go!

Would You Rather...

Fart every time you laugh or pee every time you sneeze?

Well I laugh much more than I sneeze and I'm sure it would be a bitch during those times when you can't stop sneezing but I have to go with that. It doesn't say how much you have to pee and we know that sometimes we laugh so hard we fart already. We'd just have to get used to bringing that extra pair of pants ya know?

Step barefoot on a thumb tack or watch Alvin and the Chipmunks?

I'll have you know that movie was awesome. I could watch Alvin and the Chipmunks and give the child inside me something to do. I haven't done enough of that lately so that's what I'd do. It would be even greater if I invite my friend Gregg over too. Who honestly would choose to step on a thumbtack? Crazy bitches.

Play Hungry Hungry Hippos nude and have your balls caught in the Hippos' or play Crossfire nude and get hit in the nuts with the metal ball?

Either way...ouch. Also, I have no interest in playing any of those games...let alone in the nude!

Never eat Doritos again or only be able to eat Doritos?

That's a tough one. I'm a fan of the Nacho Doritos and I could probably eat a whole bag by myself in one sitting but they are something that, after so long, you just don't feel like eating and if you're left with no other choice you are kinda screwed there. I'd hate not being able to eat Doritos but I could not imagine eating nothing but. Oh yeah and there's the nutrition part where I wouldn't get any and die.

Have a Hamster-sized Rhino or have a Rhino-sized Hamster?

Why would I want anything as big as a Rhino? That's just crazy but a Hamster-sized Rhino? Awesome. Wouldn't be a whole lot to play around with because of the horn but I'd just like to be able to say "Hey, wanna see my Rhino?" HA! What a double entendre eh?

Be a little bit taller, be a baller, or have a girl who looked good so you could call her?

You can rhyme. Good for you. I'll take the girl. Duh.

Speak Klingon or have a girlfriend?

This is not even a would you rather question as much as it is just hilariously true. Get it? HAHA! Oh man.

Find out one of your friends had sex with your mother or find out one of your friends had sex with your father?

I'd kill them. For those of you that contribute to this blog I know full well what most of you originally thought when you read this question. Screw you.

Have no short term memory or have no short term memory?

Don't worry about me. I hardly have a memory as it is! Hey...where am I?