I give this concept two thumbs way down

Nothing about this seems like a good idea - besides the obvious I don't really want to be looking at a fake girl ass while peeing, I'm imagining all the guys rubbing their junk on these things. While peeing. And then there's those guys who are horny and easily aroused - add trying not to piss all over the place with a hardon to the mix. And is this really what "normal" guys like? pissing between a girl's legs? I mean I appreciate a golden shower as much as the next guy but... really?
Eww.
Oh, and also...
Gross.

Is it terrible...

... that all I want in the world is to be able to call him and not feel like I'm overstepping the breakup boundaries?

Turns Out...

We are all just a little bit crazy. Just a little bit wrecked. And just a little bit without control.

Who knew?

Thing with life is that you never know how anything is ever going to turn out.

The Top 3 Reasons Why Last Night Sucked

3) I was invited to go sneak into a hot tub with jessy and a bunch of lesbians. the hot tub was not working so I skinny dipped in lukewarm water with a bunch of hairy dykes. So exciting for me.

2) I realized that I left the beer out in my car later so I went out to get them. I realized that my car was nowhere near a parking space so I tried to move it and ran into the car next to me. then I grabbed the beer and it all shattered all over the ground (8 bottles in all). Then I got a piece of glass in my foot which I just had to remove using a kitchen knife and fingernail clippers because I have no money to pay to go to the doctor

1) Patrick and I broke up. The distance wasn't working. And frankly it was mostly my fault. But that didn't change the fact that I was visibly crying (i.e. tears streaming uncontrollably down my face) the entire 30 minute bus ride to work this morning. I left at noon when I realized that with only 3 hours of sleep, a piece of glass in my foot and a penchant for bursting into tears at the drop of a hat I was not going to be much use at my job

I hate my life

FML

Haven't been here for a while, so why not come back with some good old fashioned complaining.

Since I quit my job, I have been a complete waste of space. All I have done is smoke pot, go to the bar, watch movie (sometimes the same one within a 24 hour period), and play video games. I should be happy with doing nothing. But I am not. I have no real interaction with the outside world. I've basically locked myself in my apartment. Quite frankly, I'm getting bored. I want a job right now to cure that boredom.

To make matters worse, I totally could of had sex with this chick last night, but then something happened. She just disappeared. No clue where she went or why she left. I also don't remember her name, oops. But I guess that's not important now. So instead I decided to pass out on the couch only to wake up with a shitty hangover. Great consolation prize.

When I was walking back to my car, the girl who spoke to me about a job interview called me. She said that I missed my interview this morning. The thing is, she told me Tuesday. Then she asked if I would like to reschedule. Since I should have an interview already scheduled for Tuesday, I was surprised when she asked me that. So, my original interview got pushed back a half hour. That was odd. I want the job because I need something, but at the same time I know nothing about this company...

Strange.

So here's the dealio

I'm gonna be in Crotchester this weekend. Tomorrow night til Monday to be exact. Come home if you want to hang out. Miss you all and I hope things are going good.
much love
-Cottonmouth

"Summer Nights" Video

I know you guys do not like country music but this video has a lot of hot chicks in it on the beach. So bear with it at least once, or turn the volume down. That works too. There are even a few moments for you Cottonmouth.

Badass of the Week

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/koepcke.html

This guy is hysterical. Check it out.

Seattle's Hempfest...

Totally there next year.

I'll have you know

I was one of the only people posting on here (with mike) for quite a long time. I'm in Santa Fe visiting Sian and besides that I have nothing to talk about because people get pissed off when this blog turns into a bitchfest so I figured I'd just avoid it altogether and not bother posting. I might make it up to Michigan after I get my student loan refund but I wouldn't count on it. My paychecks are just enough so that I try to pay my bills and still overdraw every account and card I own. SOOOOO.... Don't look at me for not posting recently because I don't think anyone really wants to hear about that crap.
peace
J.Co.

Liberation from Death...

Its been a while since there has been much activity on the blog. (Hock, I know, you did not let the blog die.)

And so, in the most random of fashions, I would like to add the following string(s) of thought:

Flaming Lips DOUBLE ALBUM will, hopefully, be amazing. I am a bit nervous for this one, though. The songs that they played from it at Pitchfork were, well, a bit weird. Even by their standards. He rode on top of a guy in a gorilla costume while crowing into a megaphone. Whafuck is that noise? I am betting that my complete and total love of these guys will make it hard for me to not show some serious bias and force me to listen to everything millions of times. Over and over. Until Hock kills me and then breaks the cd.

I miss big gay karaoke. That sounds like the bees freaking knees, dude. I wish there was a place in this area that 1-had karaoke and 2-people I know would go to.

My list is as follows:

Mandy Moore
Natalie Portman
Scarlett Johanssen
Shannyn Sossamon
Emma Watson
and then all of them again. In no particular order. Just immense amounts of fucking. Oh god, the fucking.

Got about 2 weeks left until work starts kicking my ass for another semester. All in all, I would say it has been a pretty damn good summer.

I could totally go for a big, gigantic, monstrous beer right now. Later, though. There is movie to see. With eyes. Asian talk fun. HAHAHA.

Yup.
Thats what I got for now. Enjoys it.

Fall into New Music

A while ago on the blog, Kiznox had made mention to a new Flaming Lips album coming out soon and that got me thinking. What other awesome bands are releasing stuff?

Fall of 2009 is getting some mad love for new music from some of my favorite artists. These records are supposed to be some of the most mature works from these musicians.

9/22/09
Brand New - "Daisy" - It's about time, it has been nearly three years since The Devil and God...

9/29/09
AFI - "Crash Love" - Cannot wait for this to come out!

9/29/09
Paramore - "brand new eyes" - I know, I know. But I like them.

10/13/09
The Flaming Lips - "Embryonic" - DOUBLE ALBUM!

Not to mention, there are some unconfirmed dates for a new Ima Robot and Minus the Bear albums.

Anybody know any others?

or is the blog dying a slow and painful death?

GOERG

If They Were Single, I'd Fuck 'Em

Hell, I'd fuck them anyways

If I could have any famous person to fuck or get married to, the list would probably go something like this:

In order:
1. Jessica Alba
2. Mandy Moore (veeeerrrryyyy close to #1)
3. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
4. Shannyn Sossamon
5. Scarlett Johansson
6. Olivia Munn
7. Zooey Deschanel
8. Kristen Bell
9. Keira Knightley
10. Elisha Cuthbert


I would have given you pics of all of them, but after 3 I got lazy.

Eye Candy of the Week

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

So...

Things are going well here. I like the new place. Contrary to what I said before, Jess is staying single, and currently coming over to smoke. Me and her went to the gay bar to do some karaoke which was fantastisch. That's it for now. miss you all, much love and let's all have an orgy soon... I mean... uhh right...

I'm Moving

Hence why I haven't written in a while. Not much to write about I suppose. I'm sick, have literally no money, and have eaten a lot of ramen recently. so yeah. Jess and Daws have been here for the weekend because she and Zack finally broke up. I'll write again when there's something more to say.