If Only It Was That Easy

So we watched Across The Universe earlier today. It got me thinking...what it would be like to take a bag full of clothes and hit the road and end up in a new place. Any place. As long as you meet new, exciting people, like the ones in the movie. People who know how to have a good time and who can get by with whatever they have. People who can teach you amazing new things. To live a life that you never thought possible. Not doing illegal shit, nothing like that. No bank robbing for me. I would like to be in a place that is basically carefree, where you get by by doing something creative. The only problem with that, is that I'm not very creative. This idea would work amazingly well if I knew how to play an instrument or if life were like a movie. It would be one hell of an experience, but I doubt I'd be able to pull off something like that. First off, I don't know how to live without money. Second, I wouldn't know how to find people like that. Last, I doubt I'd be able to just up and leave everyone like that. Oh well, it was just a thought anyways.

Exactly Why We Have a 'Naughty Teacher' Header...

Debra "I used to teach" LaFave

The following is a list of the Greatest Teachers of All Time. Mostly because they decided to Fuck their students. By Greatest Teachers of All Time, I mean, some of them are actually hot. And by some, I mean like 2.

The Daily ClusterFuck...

"Mr. President, I know immigration has been a big problem in the U.S. And what is your next step with the immigration bill?" Asks 13 year old Jessica Hackerd. How does the president with the lowest approval rating since Nixon respond? "Mr. Bush's sarcastic reply -- a wry "yeah, thanks" -- drew laughter from the crowd of 400." If you guessed: Like and asshole. You win.

"Nobel Peace Prize winner Betty Williams of Ireland apologized Thursday after telling a Dallas audience a day earlier that she “could kill George Bush.” Audio of the speech included. Listen. It is worth a listen to see how poorly out of context this has been taken.

Betty Williams could have done worse. I mean, she could have leaked the name of a CIA operative, lied about it, commuted the sentence given to the person who did the dirty work for you, then pretty much told the press to Fuck Off when you finally decide to admit it. Yeah, thats the ticket.

Hey White House, Fuck You and Your Executive Privilege Bullshit. Yeah, Your Aides have to Testify according to the Subpoena. Dumbass.

"Florida State Rep. Bob Allen—conservative Republican, married man, father of one, and campaigner against public lewdness and sexual predators—is an oral bottom who lewdly preys on police officers in public restrooms." I had my own interesting thing to say about this, but Dan Savage kicked my ass on the quips. And the Police Report, which is hilarious, can be found here.

Little girl sees grandfather get crushed under car while she sits inside. Police interrogate child, head to her home, arrest parents for possession of marijuana. Yeah, thats pretty much how I would handle it.

Leave it to the Germans to find a way to suck the liquid out of alcohol. "Add the powder to cold water, and consumers have an alcoholic drink containing either vodka or rum."

Naughty, bad, gross teacher-has-sex-with-student story.

Study done to figure out why men have a tendency to drive with one hand and women with two. Study finds men "think the car is part of them." No where in the stats does it mention that men might just be touching themselves.

"I needed to make my own job, so I thought I'd go around and clean the streets," If we had a Hero tag, it would go here.

Yeah, the ClusterFuck was pretty big today. And yes, there was a ton of George on it. But really, what the hell else was I going to do?

Eye Candy of the Day...

Brought to you by Christina Ricci...for some reason, she is only Really sexy when she plays total trash. Is that weird?

So the News...Its just getting weird...

Would you serve this lady at your drive-thru?


Apparently McDonald's didn't Mcwant to. Now this Armless Mcwonder is suing their Mcpants off.

Lesson: When you are a teacher, showing students a picture of your son is just fine. Whipping out your Motorola and flashing a 17 year old girl your floppy 51 year old shrivel-dick is not.

About a week ago I wrote a post about the lack of actual protesting that goes on in these here United States. Dog lovers, this is not what I fucking meant.

So this shit is just weird...

I am sure that a little grass isnt going to kill you, but it can sure ruin your teaching career. Especially if your smoking buddy is your 14 year old student.

In another story of "Stickin' it to The Man", these men wear dresses. Here's to hoping they at least wore undies.

"Devon schoolgirl Claire McDonald found herself receiving emails containing top secret information from the Pentagon after being accidentally added to a round robin list by a navy commander. One of them was offering advice to the UK on how to prevent secrets from being leaked." And other total Fuck-Ups in email.

Flowers for Algernon? Maybe. I smell inspiring true story cooking.

FACT: "...since there are only a small handful of true pimps I've reason to reaffirm that indeed, Pimpin' ain't easy."

Dirty Teachers Teaching Dirty...

Older sister? Seriously? How do you fuck that up? The girl is only 15!

Thankfully, this is the only one that I found today. I guess the number of sexual discrepancies goes down on the weekend. No class...and good news! Summer break is starting!

Dirty Teachers Teaching Dirty...

School Nurse Struck Off for Running Sex Website, and eww. Just eww.

Crossing Guard Crosses Line, apparently often and with a camera.

And how this guy managed to pull this off will always baffle me.

The sweetness...

Awesome: Nailing your teacher. The Bonus: Dating her daughter at the same time.

I want game like that.