Phone

If any of you tried to call me this weekend, if you happened to be in town, my phone was on the fritz. I had the Disturbed concert Saturday night at Cobo and spent a lot of the night at Greektown and was pretty unreachable anyway. It should be alright now, they found a problem with the battery. I would get a call and then not get a call, etc. Really really hope I didn't miss anyone...

Hotelicopter?!

What will they think of next?

So, some company is building a hotel...out of a helicopter. It weighs well over 200 tons! While this seems like a pretty sweet idea, it doesn't seem like a very worthwhile one. That is going to use up a lot of fuel, like A LOT! That right there just seems like a waste for some rich asshole to take part in something that might crash anyways. I can't see this thing flying for a long time, unless they add some more propulsion, because that thing is fucking huge.

I would like to see it, but I'd be afraid to fly in it. I'd also feel guilty for wasting so much gas. I'm also not a rich, affluent asshole

Interactive Mirror

This shit is awesome. I want one. I could keep myself entertained for hours. Suddenly looking in the mirror doesn't seem so depressing

So I got an ipod

and I don't know how I went this long without one. It's kinda the best thing ever. The sound quality is amazing. So yay. And I'm officially over my deal against ipods and we're good friends now. I may become completely antisocial now and just listen to music constantly. Sound ok to everyone?

I did not get a wii. My sister is just weird.

I did however get an external hard drive, which is badass, along with a bunch of other smaller but still cool things like clothes, candy, and a usb hub. Altogether it was a pretty good haul!

Going to the Dark Side

So as much as it saddens me and makes me die a little bit on the inside...

I think I might buy an iPod

:(

I hate iPods. But everyone is right - it has reached a point where it just makes the most sense to get one. I just can't justify wasting more money on blank cds and batteries and have them only work sometimes...

Please, music world, keep making good albums. I promise to not base my musical tastes around just one track. I promise...


Here's the other issue. As always I'm on the rear end of technology (that is, on technology's rear end! BOO YA! i'm gay) and don't really care about having an iPod that can play video. I probably won't ever watch them. I hardly watch tv at home - I usually only have it on as visual stimulation on mute while I listen to music (ps, I'm crazy). So I need to essentially find a bottom of the line product. But not a fucking iPod shuffle - fuck that shit. 1 Gb of music? Fat fucking chance. Whoah. Me angry. Me say fuck a lot.

Really it's becuase I'm seriously so distressed about this. I know it's ridiculous. But I still HATE iPods. I hate what they did to the music world. I know they're brilliant. And smart, and useful, and a HUGE tehcnological advance over cd players. I understand all this. But when I hear about things like STORES BEING GIVEN EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO SELL CDS WITH CERTAIN BONUS TRACKS ON THEM it makes me ill. Like Zeitgeist - a DIFFERENT bonus track on itunes, at best buy and target. i.e. the three places I get my music (besides amazon). Even when I was willing to give the new "smashing pumpkins" a chance, hearing this shit I decided against it. What if it turned out I didn't like the bonus track on the version I got. Or let's be honest - I'd probably waste money to buy the extra two tracks online. Because I'm crazy like that.

Anyway, I went a little offtopic there for a second. Just wish me luck in my quest to find my peace with iPod.

Habt eine gute Nacht, ihr alle!

Always on the back end of the trend

What's getting really annoying to me? Technology

I think we've gone far enough. Our society's dependence on not only technology, but constantly evolving technology is absolutely ridiculous. Why should I fucking go to history class if she now is putting all of our study sheets online? Why should I buy an mp3 cd discman when they now have mp4 which isn't compatible with mp3 players. Granted, I know I can change the format in which itunes rips music, but it'll only be a matter of time before mp3s, like midi and wav files before them, become obsolete. Gaming systems are now more like computers in and of themselves. The record industry is failing because nobody cares about buying a cd anymore - why even publish them, or choose album art? It's getting completely out of hand. Because the more we learn, the more intelligent we get, the more likely something is to go wrong.

I can't WAIT until someone is able to create a fast spreading virus that destroys the internet. It's not impossible. When you think about it - a vast network of information floating around amid satellites and wires, that probably doubles in size every week, filled with enough porn to make a supercomputer crash - the internet is about as reliable as the stock market. Or the idea of credit. The more that we rely on such intangible ideas, the more dangerous it will all get. Consider, for instance, if we all bought a shit ton of stuff on credit, and then as a nation decided just not to pay it off anymore.

seriously think about it. It would be fucking hilarious. Our country would fall into economic ruin in a matter of days, and there would be no one to hold responsible when stores realize they just each lost billions of dollars.

We are doomed to fail. and I can't wait. Because I'll be chilling with my scratched cds sitting on a hill in the sun somewhere, smiling and drowning out the sounds of chaos with an album I enjoy. And just for poetic value, it will probably be OK Computer, the album that's all about the frightening nature of our shrink-wrapped, online iWorld.

You'll know my love for Apple...

...by their constant strive for perfection in the way of customer satisfaction.

"To all iPhone customers:

I have received hundreds of emails from iPhone customers who are upset about Apple dropping the price of iPhone by $200 two months after it went on sale. After reading every one of these emails, I have some observations and conclusions.

First, I am sure that we are making the correct decision to lower the price of the 8GB iPhone from $599 to $399, and that now is the right time to do it. iPhone is a breakthrough product, and we have the chance to 'go for it' this holiday season. iPhone is so far ahead of the competition, and now it will be affordable by even more customers. It benefits both Apple and every iPhone user to get as many new customers as possible in the iPhone 'tent'. We strongly believe the $399 price will help us do just that this holiday season.

Second, being in technology for 30+ years I can attest to the fact that the technology road is bumpy. There is always change and improvement, and there is always someone who bought a product before a particular cutoff date and misses the new price or the new operating system or the new whatever. This is life in the technology lane. If you always wait for the next price cut or to buy the new improved model, you'll never buy any technology product because there is always something better and less expensive on the horizon. The good news is that if you buy products from companies that support them well, like Apple tries to do, you will receive years of useful and satisfying service from them even as newer models are introduced.

Third, even though we are making the right decision to lower the price of iPhone, and even though the technology road is bumpy, we need to do a better job taking care of our early iPhone customers as we aggressively go after new ones with a lower price. Our early customers trusted us, and we must live up to that trust with our actions in moments like these.

Therefore, we have decided to offer every iPhone customer who purchased an iPhone from either Apple or AT&T, and who is not receiving a rebate or any other consideration, a $100 store credit towards the purchase of any product at an Apple Retail Store or the Apple Online Store. Details are still being worked out and will be posted on Apple's website next week. Stay tuned.

We want to do the right thing for our valued iPhone customers. We apologize for disappointing some of you, and we are doing our best to live up to your high expectations of Apple.

Steve Jobs
Apple CEO"

I'll Take One Hoverboard, Please

Levitation is possible. Scottish scientists have found a way to reverse the Casimir force to repel objects apart from each other. Hence levitation. Maybe the vision from Back to the Future 2 isn't too far off. Well, it probably is, but I can dream, can't I?

Puking Rally!

So, you know flashlights are used in the dark to help you see better, right? Well, how about having a flashlight that makes you puke? Yeah, you read that right. This flashlight makes you puke. Not only that, but the company, Intelligent Optical Systems, is only making this for cop use. Dammit.

The Daily ClusterFuck...

Okay, so this news shakes things up for me a little bit: Hillary Clinton pledges to stop raids on patients who use medical marijuana. Obama does not.

AA is Christian, right? I mean, it is one of the steps to becoming sober...so this article about underage sex and pimping members should be no surprise.

Tammy Faye is dead. If you're wondering who she was, its the woman who kept the mascara industry in business during the depression and recent recession. She became a household name as a televangelist, until a major sex/money scandal ravaged her, and died, peacefully, at the age of 276,991. She was also absolutely fucking insane.

Reason to leave Michigan #458: "Man Sparks Fires Driving Flaming Hay Wagon"

An story that ends with: "Their landlord dropped off some beer." Is worth reading.

Reason to leave Michigan #459: Miss Michigan is 4ft 10 and Miss North Dakota wants a piece. Fucking weird.

The scariest damn half-man learning to walk story of the Year. (Crazy pic included)

I guess I can get behind this...

What is it? It is the Halo 3 Limited Edition Xbox 360. Can we call this a blatant marketing ploy? Sure thing. But that is what I like about it. I used to get really pissed off at Microsoft, and retailers in general, about Limited Edition products. Bonus material DVD's, Collectors Edition games/CD's in a tin, blah blah blah. It used to really aggravate me.

What happened to the rage? Well, it hit me recently when I went to purchase a new book. I bought an unabridged version of a classic Stephen King novel. Both the unabridged and original release were on the shelf, and the one I bought cost 3$ more, but I still bought it. I bought this version because the story never seemed quite finished the first time I read through it and I wanted to see where every character was supposed to go. Then I started thinking about this idea in general. Perhaps the limited edition is not merely a marketing ploy. (I am sure that is a large part of it) But think just in terms of this Halo 3 Xbox. How amazing is that going to feel the first time a person loads in their limited edition game, turns on the muted green system, flips on the surround sound, and jams that camouflage ear piece in? I'll tell you this: That person is going to feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Hell yes, warm and fuzzy.

There are a ton of different ways to look at this. Marketing ploy, crazy fanboy warm spot, whatever. The point is, I finally get it. The point is choice. Choice is what keeps cranking out the multitude of different versions of the same product. And choice is damn important. I may never want to see the 800 hours of extended footage and deleted scenes from any of the Lord of the Rings movies, but someone sure as hell does.

The Daily Clusterfuck...

By the way, you guys think the above would be a better title for this shit?

Now that Tony Blair is out, Gordon Brown vows to give new meaning to "Big Brother". England, it seems, is trying a bit too hard to out-do the US in douchebaggery.

Yes, the iPhone is out. Yes, I fucking want one. Why? Because it is fucking sexy, thats why. I have no idea what features are on it, no clue about the network-though Cingular/AT&T have notoriously bad/slow service-and no way to afford it. Fuck it. Its sexy. It can turn on its side. It is Apple. I definitely see Apple banking, and am excited. I want a Mac. Just deal with it.

Fox news? Yeah, what he said.

Interesting bit of possible non-terrorism in London. Car bombs...what happened to bomb bombs?

Forget about the War on Drugs, we have yet another Teacher Smokes Pot with Student story.

So this shit is just weird...

I am sure that a little grass isnt going to kill you, but it can sure ruin your teaching career. Especially if your smoking buddy is your 14 year old student.

In another story of "Stickin' it to The Man", these men wear dresses. Here's to hoping they at least wore undies.

"Devon schoolgirl Claire McDonald found herself receiving emails containing top secret information from the Pentagon after being accidentally added to a round robin list by a navy commander. One of them was offering advice to the UK on how to prevent secrets from being leaked." And other total Fuck-Ups in email.

Flowers for Algernon? Maybe. I smell inspiring true story cooking.

FACT: "...since there are only a small handful of true pimps I've reason to reaffirm that indeed, Pimpin' ain't easy."

This kind of freaks me out...

"Our country is rapidly ageing and it is an urgent task to develop robots that can perform tasks only done by humans now," the statement said.

Uh huh...so which futuristic Sci-fi movie with robots doesn't have Man vs. Robot in an all out fight to the finish? Was it Mad Max? Wait, that didnt have robots. Shit, we are so Fucked.

I can finally say it: The only thing better than Pong is Pong with Boobs.

This article got me wondering: Why has it taken so long for sex and technology to become more integrated with each other? The idea has always been there, but it seems that these advances and ideas have been systematically pushed to the back burner. I would like to see the US take a turn toward an open-forum regarding sex. Is that likely? I am unsure. There are far too many bible beaters running around this country trying to close the lid on discussions revolving around sex. Hell, we have a president who, as far as I am concerned, hates the gay community and who has just nominated Dr. James Holsinger for Surgeon General, a man that actually believes Homosexual behavior is a disease.

Elsewhere, robots are getting better at driving, while people who play videogames are getting better at just about everything, and babies really are filled with demons.

And I guess the War on Drugs wouldn't be such a cluster fuck if the US would stop giving money to Colombia; where production of cocaine increases for 3rd year in a row.

Oh yeah. Blogger is on the List...

TOP 50 Bullshit Jobs

And the Cripples!!! Only in Michigan could something this bizarre happen.


*And, if you cant tell, I finally figured out Hyperlinks! Making me, A FUCKING G.

No mathematical equations here...

However some extremely interesting information about the phones of the future. As if we didn't already know some of it was coming, but I was surprised.

http://www.cnet.com/4520-13387_1-6737990-1.html?tag=intro

Would this be an opportune time for a "Go Go Gadget Obama?" I thought so.

Careful, the Beverage you are about to enjoy is Extremely hot...

And they were NOT kidding about that. I wonder why Starbucks seems to think that the only way to serve coffee is roughly the temperature that would melt steel. Well, maybe not steel, but it sure burned the hell out of my mouth.

On a positive note, George W. got crapped on by a sparrow during a press conference on Friday. Apparently, as one reporter put it, thats good luck. Good luck or not, I hope this is not the last time he has to wipe some shit off his sleeve.

Saw Pirates last night. Good flick, wish I had brough a recliner, though. It was a damn long movie with some pretty sweet scenes filled with swashbuckling awesomeness and nautical trapezery glazed over with a touch of rose colored weak romance. And Jack Sparrow. Hallucinating Jack Sparrow. Hallucinating, barnacle-covered, brain-falling-out, peanut-stealing, running-like-a-fairy, and absolutely mind-boggling Jack Sparrow. Glad to see the guy can still pretty much carry this franchise. I left the movie slightly disappointed but still pretty content with the overall epic that I had just seen. So I will give it 4 Ninja Stars out of 5. And yes, I have just devised a really odd rating scale and am pretty damn pleased with it.

Oh yeah, And Star Wars turned 30 yesterday. Congrats Lucas.

Now for a little bit of bathroom weirdness...

http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/05/wallofwomen21

And Finally, Bacon Cheese & Beer Hot Dog or “Michigan caviar”

http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/03/post_135

Word to your Mother.