The Weekly WYR

Difficult decision time...

Would You Rather...


Fight one hundred kindergartners or one extremely jacked guy?

I am not one for fighting children, that would be Kiznox, and yet I find it oddly appealing, not because they would be easy to take out but that the jacked up guy would probably go all samurai on my ass and just slice me in half. However my philosophy is that, assuming I would get my ass kicked (which I would) in a fair fight, does not make it very responsible of me to fight fair. Therefore I am fighting the jacked up guy with any weapon of my choice...and I'm going to go with a flame thrower (insert evil sinister laugh)!

Slice like a ninja or cut like a razor blade?

Slice like a ninja and cut like a razor blade sound so friggin sweet on their own that I find it hard to choose one. However, as most person wanting any fun in their lives...come on...no one effs with a ninja!

See your parents having kinky sex or see your grandparents having normal sex?

Excuse me while I go rip out my eyes with my keys and then shoot myself several times in the chest plate.

Always have your fingers be sticky or greasy?

I hate hate hate when my fingers are sticky. Greasy you can at least wipe all the time as compared to having to wash sticky fingers constantly. They both suck ass but greasy fingers is the lesser of these two evils.

Get a tattoo of a wiener on your nose or a tattoo of a nose on your wiener?

Why oh why would anyone ever want a tattoo of a wiener anywhere LET ALONE on their damn face?? Having that nose tattooed on your fun parts would truly be a horrifying experience for all of those involved but I guess that one is only going to be seen by a select few who honestly are not exactly looking for what tattoos you have on your junk but what the junk does.

Live in a world where people only speak 300 quotes or Borat quotes?

Okay I found Borat to be exceptionally funny but I have watched it once and have no need nor want to watch it anymore times. Seeing as how those quotes get annoying when friends constantly throw them out there (not any of my friends but some people's friends) let alone a world full of people. I have a feeling those 300 quotes would be derived from the most commonly used quotes and there would be at least one that would answer and/or explain anything that would arise in conversation...we can always add more right??

Watch your hot cousin eat a popsicle or watch your ugly cousin undress?

Who honestly, besides those who are apparently frighteningly horny and desperate, would ever ever pick watching your ugly cousin do anything especially undressing?? G.R.O.S.S.

Have to take freezing cold or scalding hot showers for the rest of your life?

That is so painful I cannot even rationally pick one without feeling either ice cold or scalding hot. I supposed that it would suck to take cold showers if you have a lot of hair or something where you need to be under the water for a second and not simply a quick few seconds to wash out the shampoo (like I could). You could reasonably do the cold shower thing but the hot water just makes me feel like I would be burning in the fires of hell! I don't mind hot showers but Jesus I don't want constant scalding hot.

Live free to die hard?

Live free. What could be more fun? Certainly not death.