Collection of Ignorance

As I was sifting through College Humor at work today I noticed that Mr. Streeter has decided to bring back this year's edition of the "Stupid Question Hall of Fame." I decided to read through the many questions submitted and give you the best of the bunch here today. I have divided them into two categories: Funniest Questions and Funniest Professor Answers.

Funniest Questions:

A University of Central Arkansas student during the week of Friday the 13th:
"Do you think September 11th will ever fall on Friday the 13th?" (Everyone in class laughs really hard)

A Champlain College (Vermont) student in an International Hospitality Class:
Professor: "What are some other countries that use American dollars as currency?"
Blondie: "Hawaii?"

Two students from UMass in Astronomy:
Professor: "What benefits does the Earth receive by having an atmosphere?"
Contestant #1: "Gravity?"
Contestant #2: "Night and Day?"

A University of Richmond freshman in a composition class where a professor is outlining requirements for a paper:
"Does this have to be in complete sentences?"

A University of North Carolina student in an Intro to Biology class:
Professor: "So can anyone tell me which gender we associate more with heart conditions?"
The Brilliance: "Old people!?"

I think this is why this Intro to Logic student is at Lakeland Community College:

Professor: "Now who can tell me who John Locke is?"

Turbo-Nerd: "The bald guy on Lost!"

While studying a famous Renaissance painting at Forsyth Technical Community College we hear this:

Professor: "What are the characters in the painting looking at?"

Genius Girl: "The camera?"

New Jersey's Richard Stockton College finds us talking about the Declaration of Independence's preservation:

Professor: "The Declaration of Independence is kept in an air tight helium filled chamber."

Queen Retard: "So it's just floating around in there?"

Funniest Professor Answers:

We return to UMass and an Animal Virology class talking about different kinds of viruses:
Girl who never puts her hand down: "What kind of virus is bacteria?"
Professor: "You should drop this class."

UMass is on a roll as we visit an Ethics class:
Professor: "There are 5 people that need organs and they will die tomorrow if they don't receive a transplant. A healthy person comes in for a routine checkup. Is it right to kill him and use his organs to save the others?"
Dumbass: "How can you live without lungs, a heart, and kidneys?"
Professor: "You can't. That's why this is an Ethics course."

From UConn this student is reading the autobiography of Mary Rowlandson (held hostage by Indians):
The Brilliance: "So wait...I didn't read the end. Does she end up dying?"
Professor: "Well, she did go on to write the book, so what do you think?"

Welcome to NC State's Fortran Computer Language Class for Engineering Students:
Professor: "So when you add it all up you just multiply 16 by 16."
Einstein: "How are we supposed to know what 16 times 16 is? Can we get partial credit if we get it wrong?"
Professor: "My descendants will be traveling on the bridges you construct, so no, no you cannot."

Enter Belmont University in Nashville, TN:
Professor: "A theoretical is a question like, "Knowing the future what would you change about the past?"
The Mind: "Or like, knowing the past what would you change about the future?"
Professor: "No, that is just called living."

In LA's Valley College we see some corporal punishment!
Professor: "Who can tell me what the worst part of being a slave was?"
The Enlightened One: "Being black?"
Professor smacks the kid with a newspaper!

At Virginia Commonwealth a Comparative Politics course is talking about women having no rights in Iran:
Professor: "Women in Iran have no social or political rights. They have no say in Iran's society."
Asshole: "So where did we go wrong with our society?"
Professor: "This is another instance where you should not speak."

To the College of Charleston we go:
Genius: "Excuse me. What does the etc. at the end of the sentence mean?"
Professor: "Are you serious?"
Genius: "I guess so."
Professor: "How did you even get into college?"

At St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia:
Brilliant Young Man: "Wouldn't it be great if they had flying buses?"
Professor: "Yes. They're called planes, son."

Didn't all these just make you feel so much better about yourself?