Best of Homer Simpson (Part 1)

Hello fellow bloggers. Keeping with my Simpsons themed posts recently, I have collected a vast variety of quotes on a lot of Simpson characters. Over the course of the next week I will add these quotes as separate posts for your amusement. I have broken them up into the Simpson family, Homer, Bart, Bart & Lisa, Grampa, Moe, Krusty, Homer & Marge, Mr. Burns & Smithers, as well as many other characters. Where else would a Simpsons collection of quotes begin then with Homer?

"Kids, let me tell you about another so called "wicked guy." He had long hair and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...I forget. But the point is...I forget that too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car."

Homer: "All right, everybody in the pool!"
Amish Farmer: "'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English."
Homer: "D'oh-eth!"

"Oh I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish."

Homer: "Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place."
(looks around, seemingly oblivious that he is in a lesbian bar)
Homer: "I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap ladies!"
Woman: "What was her problem?"

(While watching Barney's film at the Springfield Film Festival)
Homer: "I'll never drink again."
Vendor: "I've got beer here!"
Homer: "I'll take ten."

"Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I recommend getting a tatoo. It preserves the things you love. (pulls up shirt sleeve) Starland Vocal Band?! They suck!"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow....well, good night."

"If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker."

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins"
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely"

"Sweet merciful crap! My car!"

More to come...