We already used to do something like this but... courtesy of college humor:
-Drink everytime somebody uses the following phrases
--"throwing down life lessons"
--"what's up, bitches?"
--"pop that shirt off"
--"you want 'x' to pop" (ie "you want your muscles to pop," "this will make your eyes pop")
-Drink anytime the Gang mocks one another with a display of fake crying.
-Drink anytime someone in the Gang points something out as racist.
-Drink anytime someone is drinking on the show. 2x drink if it's a member of the gang.
-Drink anytime Dee is referred to as "Sweet Dee" by one of the Gang.
-Drink for any demeaning reference to Sweet Dee as old, ugly, untalented, or any combination thereof.
-Drinkfor any reference to Sweet Dee's backbrace.
--2x drink if they refer toher as a monster or "Aluminum Monster."
--3x drink if the back brace actually appears.
-Drinks for anytime Sweet Dee refers to the gang as "boners."
-Drink for any evidence of Charlie's illiteracy, or references to it by the Gang.
-Drinkanytime Frank brandishes a gun, or anyone brandishes a weapon.
--2xdrinks for characters other than Frank brandishing a gun.
-Drink anytime Frank wants "in on this action."
-Drinkanytime somebody is shown on drugs, or any reference to past drug use(including Charlie sniffing glue).
--2x drinks if they are shown taking the drugs or sniffing glue.
-Drink for any instance of a homoerotic massage.
-Drink anytime Charlie appears in long Johns.
-Drink for any appearance of the Waitress.
--2x drinks if the Gang actually calls her "waitress."
-drink for any appearance of the McPoyles or Rickety Cricket.
-Drink anytime someone in the Gang punctuates a point with "Boom!" or "Bam!"
-Drink anytime something is set on fire. 2x if it is a person or other living thing.
Following these guidelines, you should be fucked up or dead by the end of any episode.
Showing posts with label College Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Ten Commandments of College
I found this on College Humor and figured we could all relate in some way:
Student was searching for divine inspiration. Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge and came across God. Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is. And Student thanked God and it was good. And Student spread the Ten Commandments of College to all.
I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.
II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time
Now God said to Student, you must be sick all of the time. And student said why. And God said unto him, you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don't know. Therefore, God said, you shall be sick all year round. But God said, blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest. And it was good.
III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages
Student asked, but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny? And God said unto him, thou shall write witty away messages. God said to student, you shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild...in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping...in class. God said, if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them. And it was good.
IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie
And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid. And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school's logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.
V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot
And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not the shit, for all your fellow students will be experiencing the same. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God and God told him to use wet naps to ease the pain.
VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.
VII- Thou Shalt Hook Up
Student then asked of sex. And God said, Student, you shall hook up and be happy. You shall go home with random people every weekend and forget about them the next day. You shall see them at class and be awkward amongst their company. You shall exchange saliva at bars and parties and it will be good. And Student became gleeful and God told Student to wrap it up because He knows where she has been, but Student does not.
VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings
Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom.
IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused
God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered in Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about it to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer.
And God gave Student the final Commandment
X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight
And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student's chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.
This is the word of God, follow the Ten Commandments of College or you will be smote!
Student was searching for divine inspiration. Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge and came across God. Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is. And Student thanked God and it was good. And Student spread the Ten Commandments of College to all.
I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.
II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time
Now God said to Student, you must be sick all of the time. And student said why. And God said unto him, you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don't know. Therefore, God said, you shall be sick all year round. But God said, blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest. And it was good.
III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages
Student asked, but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny? And God said unto him, thou shall write witty away messages. God said to student, you shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild...in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping...in class. God said, if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them. And it was good.
IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie
And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid. And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school's logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.
V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot
And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not the shit, for all your fellow students will be experiencing the same. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God and God told him to use wet naps to ease the pain.
VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.
VII- Thou Shalt Hook Up
Student then asked of sex. And God said, Student, you shall hook up and be happy. You shall go home with random people every weekend and forget about them the next day. You shall see them at class and be awkward amongst their company. You shall exchange saliva at bars and parties and it will be good. And Student became gleeful and God told Student to wrap it up because He knows where she has been, but Student does not.
VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings
Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom.
IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused
God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered in Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about it to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer.
And God gave Student the final Commandment
X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight
And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student's chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.
This is the word of God, follow the Ten Commandments of College or you will be smote!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
105%
I love reading these, as I'm sure most all of us do, on CollegeHumor. I decided that I liked them so much I was going to go through all 95 of the articles and find my favorite quotes from them. I did not pick one from each but I have a bunch. Here they are, as I said before, courtesy of CollegeHumor:
Advice for Seniors: Carry around a pair of extra sharp scissors. When someone says, "Hey, what are you doing after you graduate?" you say, "Hard time," and puncture their appendix with the utmost fervor!
Great thing to say when you're having sex: "This just in: My Dick"
Failed Ad Slogan: Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. Or maybe she killed an old homeless woman and stole it.
I want to drive an old 1960s style Volkswagen. Not because I love the car or anything, but because I would know that every time I drive by a school bus, someone is getting punched.
"Haley, there's no easy way to tell you this. You were an accident."
"You told me I was adopted."
"It was a very big accident."
I love having sex during Daylight Savings. It's the only time I can tell my girlfriend we had sex for an hour and thirty seconds.
My Grandfather writes the SATs: An American male and an old Asian woman start a trip from Houston to Dallas at the same time. Joe is doing a steady 5 miles above the speed limit, while Li-Xing or whatever is doing 1/3 of that. How much shorter will Joe's trip be, if Li-Xing makes it at all?
Rejected Army Slogans: The U.S. Army: Because Natural Causes Are Gay.
Professor Afraid of Losing Tenure: "Shaqwanda, if the regular printer isn't working you have to use the colored pri--er...the other printer."
An alcoholic is someone who can't control their drinking. I can control my drinking, just not the puking, text messaging, and purchases from online sex stores afterwards.
Bad times for "That's what she said":
"Jim was a good man. As we remember him today, let us close our eyes, and feel his presence within us all."
"Your son has been late to class and picking on the other children. Frankly, I want to pull him out before something worse happens."
"Mr. Johnson, the cancer is spreading. I want you in bed every day."
Two countries who should never play each other in the World Cup: NIG (Niger) vs. GER (Germany)
Life is like a box of chocolates: the fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.
Are they called Baked Lays because that's how they're made, or because that's what I'd have to be to enjoy them?
Sneeze Replies More Zealous Than "God Bless You":
Jehovah bless you.
May Allah absolve your nasal passages of all foreign intruders.
Gesundheit...oh great and powerful Gezundheit! Purify thine sinuses with your mighty hammer!
Great minds think alike, but the greatest minds just steal their ideas and get rich.
I'm ashamed to admit it now, but I lied on my college application essay. In the space after it says "High School GPA," I wrote "I know what this means."
Ohio State Fan Who Doesn't Get It: "I like Ohio State so much, I bleed red."
Seemingly Obvious Movie Spoilers:
No Country for Old Men: The old men decide this is no country for them.
There Will Be Blood: There was blood.
Leatherheads: Renee Zellweger is ugly as shit.
Time Machines: Is the fact that we don't see people from the future suddenly appearing all over an indication that time machines will never be invented, or that we just live in a very boring time?
My friend grew up Asian, so he says that's why he isn't into Asian girls. I think that makes a lot of sense, because I grew up fat...
If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a Doctor:
Dr. Seuss: "I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole. I'd wear more sunblock here and there. I'd wear more sunblock anywhere. It looks as though, I'm sad to say, that you have cancer here today.
Patient: "Are you...high?"
Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick
How do people call Batman for help during the day? If I lived in Gotham, I'd just rob banks after lunch.
My ex-girlfriend always had a soft spot for my roommate. Unfortunately, it was her vagina.
I figured I had failed my company's drug test because I put "C" for every answer. Turns out they just wanted a urine sample. I was really high that day.
The worst kind of surprise party is an intervention.
On Friday, Christian Bale pretended to be Batman, on Sunday he fought with his mom. He basically spent the weekend acting like me at 13.
I find it ironic that getting the clap is nothing to cheer about.
You know what's funny about smoking weed? Everything, apparently.
What All Chinese Fortune Cookies Should Say: "You are about to take a dump in 10 minutes."
If 24 Was Set During Daylight Savings Time: "The following events take place between 2 AM and 2 AM."
My friends and I celebrate the Olympics with our own Beerlympics. It's just like the real Olympics, but all the events are based on drinking. This summer I won the gold medal in losing my job and abusing my wife. In 2012, I hope to add killing a pedestrian to that list.
My last girlfriend once sent me some racy photos and jokingly told me they were for "educational purposes only," so when she broke up with me I jokingly uploaded them to the Wikipedia page for vagina.
Help a family find a lost pet...tell them where you buried it.
I recently walked in on my son smoking pot, and thought, "That's weird, I don't have any kids."
People say smoking weed is bad because it makes you lazy. I say it just makes doing absolutely nothing that much more fun.
I saw a Public Service Announcement that said 1/3 of all car accidents involve someone who has THC in their bloodstream. I'm no statistician, but what the fuck is wrong with the 2/3 of sober people who suck at driving?
Since Cocoa Puffs make normal milk chocolate, I thought they might turn chocolate milk normal. Instead it turned my body diabetic.
Behind every successful woman, there's a bunch of guys whispering that she's a lesbian and "probably infertile."
Winners: My dad always says "winners never quit" and I always say, "No shit. They've already won, why would they quit you moron?" My dad and I don't have a great relationship...
Why is it that when I watch all the seasons of South Park back-to-back, it's called a "marathon," yet when I run 26 miles and stab 15 people along the way, it's called a "spree?"
Advice for Seniors: Carry around a pair of extra sharp scissors. When someone says, "Hey, what are you doing after you graduate?" you say, "Hard time," and puncture their appendix with the utmost fervor!
Great thing to say when you're having sex: "This just in: My Dick"
Failed Ad Slogan: Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. Or maybe she killed an old homeless woman and stole it.
I want to drive an old 1960s style Volkswagen. Not because I love the car or anything, but because I would know that every time I drive by a school bus, someone is getting punched.
"Haley, there's no easy way to tell you this. You were an accident."
"You told me I was adopted."
"It was a very big accident."
I love having sex during Daylight Savings. It's the only time I can tell my girlfriend we had sex for an hour and thirty seconds.
My Grandfather writes the SATs: An American male and an old Asian woman start a trip from Houston to Dallas at the same time. Joe is doing a steady 5 miles above the speed limit, while Li-Xing or whatever is doing 1/3 of that. How much shorter will Joe's trip be, if Li-Xing makes it at all?
Rejected Army Slogans: The U.S. Army: Because Natural Causes Are Gay.
Professor Afraid of Losing Tenure: "Shaqwanda, if the regular printer isn't working you have to use the colored pri--er...the other printer."
An alcoholic is someone who can't control their drinking. I can control my drinking, just not the puking, text messaging, and purchases from online sex stores afterwards.
Bad times for "That's what she said":
"Jim was a good man. As we remember him today, let us close our eyes, and feel his presence within us all."
"Your son has been late to class and picking on the other children. Frankly, I want to pull him out before something worse happens."
"Mr. Johnson, the cancer is spreading. I want you in bed every day."
Two countries who should never play each other in the World Cup: NIG (Niger) vs. GER (Germany)
Life is like a box of chocolates: the fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.
Are they called Baked Lays because that's how they're made, or because that's what I'd have to be to enjoy them?
Sneeze Replies More Zealous Than "God Bless You":
Jehovah bless you.
May Allah absolve your nasal passages of all foreign intruders.
Gesundheit...oh great and powerful Gezundheit! Purify thine sinuses with your mighty hammer!
Great minds think alike, but the greatest minds just steal their ideas and get rich.
I'm ashamed to admit it now, but I lied on my college application essay. In the space after it says "High School GPA," I wrote "I know what this means."
Ohio State Fan Who Doesn't Get It: "I like Ohio State so much, I bleed red."
Seemingly Obvious Movie Spoilers:
No Country for Old Men: The old men decide this is no country for them.
There Will Be Blood: There was blood.
Leatherheads: Renee Zellweger is ugly as shit.
Time Machines: Is the fact that we don't see people from the future suddenly appearing all over an indication that time machines will never be invented, or that we just live in a very boring time?
My friend grew up Asian, so he says that's why he isn't into Asian girls. I think that makes a lot of sense, because I grew up fat...
If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a Doctor:
Dr. Seuss: "I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole. I'd wear more sunblock here and there. I'd wear more sunblock anywhere. It looks as though, I'm sad to say, that you have cancer here today.
Patient: "Are you...high?"
Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick
How do people call Batman for help during the day? If I lived in Gotham, I'd just rob banks after lunch.
My ex-girlfriend always had a soft spot for my roommate. Unfortunately, it was her vagina.
I figured I had failed my company's drug test because I put "C" for every answer. Turns out they just wanted a urine sample. I was really high that day.
The worst kind of surprise party is an intervention.
On Friday, Christian Bale pretended to be Batman, on Sunday he fought with his mom. He basically spent the weekend acting like me at 13.
I find it ironic that getting the clap is nothing to cheer about.
You know what's funny about smoking weed? Everything, apparently.
What All Chinese Fortune Cookies Should Say: "You are about to take a dump in 10 minutes."
If 24 Was Set During Daylight Savings Time: "The following events take place between 2 AM and 2 AM."
My friends and I celebrate the Olympics with our own Beerlympics. It's just like the real Olympics, but all the events are based on drinking. This summer I won the gold medal in losing my job and abusing my wife. In 2012, I hope to add killing a pedestrian to that list.
My last girlfriend once sent me some racy photos and jokingly told me they were for "educational purposes only," so when she broke up with me I jokingly uploaded them to the Wikipedia page for vagina.
Help a family find a lost pet...tell them where you buried it.
I recently walked in on my son smoking pot, and thought, "That's weird, I don't have any kids."
People say smoking weed is bad because it makes you lazy. I say it just makes doing absolutely nothing that much more fun.
I saw a Public Service Announcement that said 1/3 of all car accidents involve someone who has THC in their bloodstream. I'm no statistician, but what the fuck is wrong with the 2/3 of sober people who suck at driving?
Since Cocoa Puffs make normal milk chocolate, I thought they might turn chocolate milk normal. Instead it turned my body diabetic.
Behind every successful woman, there's a bunch of guys whispering that she's a lesbian and "probably infertile."
Winners: My dad always says "winners never quit" and I always say, "No shit. They've already won, why would they quit you moron?" My dad and I don't have a great relationship...
Why is it that when I watch all the seasons of South Park back-to-back, it's called a "marathon," yet when I run 26 miles and stab 15 people along the way, it's called a "spree?"
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Huge collection of "That Guy" pictures
Thanks to the ever popular CollegeHumor for giving us another group of photos worth laughing at.
Click here to see 66 pictures, all of which include "That guy...or girl"
Click here to see 66 pictures, all of which include "That guy...or girl"
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Thank you College Humor
This is so funny...and even if you don't think so...there are pics of big boobs on ever word.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Since College Humor ROCKS
I did this once before but I figured I would do it again for those who may have forgotten just how idiotic people can be. Below you will see a combination of quotes from College Humor's "Stupid Questions Hall of Fame" so far in 2008. I always get a kick out of some of the questions but a lot of times out of the professor's response. I have separated them into these two categories. Enjoy!!
Best Teacher Responses
The professor was talking about equilateral triangles...
Genius: So what's it called if there are more than 3 equal sides?
Professor: A square.
Professor: One of the oldest human type skeletons ever found is Lucy (showing picture of skeleton).
Future Trophy Wife: How did they know her name was Lucy?
Professor: They found her driver's license.
Professor: Your test will consist of 85 questions but only 75 will count for a total of 150 points.
Girl: Will it say on the test which questions will cost?
Professor: Really?
On the first day of class...
Scholar: You include "2:30-3:20, Mondays and Wednesdays" on the top of the syllabus. Are those your office hours?
Professor: Those are the class times. That's now. We're in class.
Professor: So does anyone know anything about the Guatemlan Civil War?
Valedictorian: Um...yeah. Wasn't that the one in Mexico?
Professor: Um...no. A civil war would be one inside of a country...by definition...
Dumbest Student Responses
While looking over the syllabus and noting that we have off MLK Jr. Day...
The Brilliance: What is milk day and why do we have it off?
Professor: And which party is President Bush a member of?
Valedictorian: He's a Democrat right? I mean, we live in a democracy, so he's gotta be a Democrat.
Professor: How do you think Abraham Lincoln was elected even though abolition wasn't the most popular idea of the time?
The Brilliance: Well, obviously all those slaves voted for him, right?
Professor: After the President dropped two atomic bombs into Japan, on the cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Japan finally surrendered to the United States.
The Brilliance: Wait...we won World War II?
20 minutes into a test where a scantron was passed out with the tests...
Valedictorian: Does anyone have an extra scantron?
Confounded Professor: You need another?
Valedictorian: I didn't know we were supposed to bring one.
Professor: They were passed out with the test!
Professor: So when calculating inventory turnover you use either 12 months or 52 weeks.
Einstein: Wait, there's only 48 weeks in a year.
Professor: Umm...let's just use 52 weeks...
Einstein: But that's wrong! There's 12 months in a year and 4 weeks in a month so that makes 48.
Best Teacher Responses
The professor was talking about equilateral triangles...
Genius: So what's it called if there are more than 3 equal sides?
Professor: A square.
Professor: One of the oldest human type skeletons ever found is Lucy (showing picture of skeleton).
Future Trophy Wife: How did they know her name was Lucy?
Professor: They found her driver's license.
Professor: Your test will consist of 85 questions but only 75 will count for a total of 150 points.
Girl: Will it say on the test which questions will cost?
Professor: Really?
On the first day of class...
Scholar: You include "2:30-3:20, Mondays and Wednesdays" on the top of the syllabus. Are those your office hours?
Professor: Those are the class times. That's now. We're in class.
Professor: So does anyone know anything about the Guatemlan Civil War?
Valedictorian: Um...yeah. Wasn't that the one in Mexico?
Professor: Um...no. A civil war would be one inside of a country...by definition...
Dumbest Student Responses
While looking over the syllabus and noting that we have off MLK Jr. Day...
The Brilliance: What is milk day and why do we have it off?
Professor: And which party is President Bush a member of?
Valedictorian: He's a Democrat right? I mean, we live in a democracy, so he's gotta be a Democrat.
Professor: How do you think Abraham Lincoln was elected even though abolition wasn't the most popular idea of the time?
The Brilliance: Well, obviously all those slaves voted for him, right?
Professor: After the President dropped two atomic bombs into Japan, on the cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Japan finally surrendered to the United States.
The Brilliance: Wait...we won World War II?
20 minutes into a test where a scantron was passed out with the tests...
Valedictorian: Does anyone have an extra scantron?
Confounded Professor: You need another?
Valedictorian: I didn't know we were supposed to bring one.
Professor: They were passed out with the test!
Professor: So when calculating inventory turnover you use either 12 months or 52 weeks.
Einstein: Wait, there's only 48 weeks in a year.
Professor: Umm...let's just use 52 weeks...
Einstein: But that's wrong! There's 12 months in a year and 4 weeks in a month so that makes 48.
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