Transformers: Robots in da skies...

The highly anticipated Michael "let this make my career" Bay flick, Transformers, will hit theaters on July 3rd. (that's tomorrow, folks) Sure, the lines for the midnight showings are going to be packed. Sure, the theaters are probably going to be bursting with 30 year old fan boys, early twenties Me's who can remember enough about the series to salivate when Optimus Prime makes his debut, and fucking teenagers there because, well, because they want to see fast cars, robots fighting robots, and shit blow up.

Let me tell you, crowd of thirsty comic book nerds, CGI fan boys, and teeny boppers: Your thirst will be quenched. Prepare to be showered by everything you could truly hope for in a movie of this magnitude. The action is fast, and director Bay wastes no time getting to it. The storyline is easy to follow, yet relentless in every attempt to keep the audience glued to the screen. You have your obvious teenage love story between Shia LeBeouf and Megan "Dear God, could I please have just a taste of her perfect lips?" Fox, coupled with your machismo soldier with a wife and baby who he has "yet to hold" so the homecoming will be extra special if he makes it, and your Government conspiracy that even the Secretary of Defense doesn't know about.

The battles are huge. The explosions are grand. The movie has a refined sexiness that is only helped, not controlled, by Megan Fox. The transforming of the vehicles into their alter-egos is jaw dropping and streamlined, making for some incredible action sequences involving rockets. The character of the Autobots themselves is just what you would expect with a modern day style. Bumblebee was my favorite, by far.

The camera work was magnificently done. Bay's eye for action was phenomenal, giving each shot enough attention that the angles themselves were just as impressive as what was going on in the movie. Bay has dropped the jittery, shaky camera in favor of a more straightforward approach, which really made the movie flow. Perhaps the magic of CGI allowed him to calm down the camera approach, perhaps it was the enormous budget, perhaps it was the amount of pressure he had to make this movie spectacular. I have no idea which one it was, but this movie lived up to all of my expectations.

As with any movie, however, there are complaints. Nothing is perfect, and as such, nothing is without flaws. Let me rattle these off as quickly as possible because that is really how little they affect the overall movie. First, it was a little cheesy. Of course, what else would you expect? This really doesn't hurt the movie, because, well, the original was cheesy as hell and that seemed to work out just fine. Secondly, Megan Fox was not in a bathing suit once. Not once. Why the hell not? That needs to happen in the sequel. Lastly, there is one scene involving a motorcycle and guns that just irritated me. Yeah, its fucking sweet, but still...irritating. And yes, there will be a sequel.

Overall, this was an amazing movie worth your time, your money, and your awe.

4 1/2 Transforming Vehicles out of 5.