Saturday, September 1, 2007

The Best WYR Questions (Part Two of Five)

Once again we explore the inane yet titillating questions that begin with:

Would You Rather...

Be pissed off constantly or pissed on occasionally?
I'm not going to even pretend to joke about the fact that I could be pissed on constantly. Being pissed off can only be as annoying and punishing as you make it. When I am pissed off but I still smile and go about my day because if you are pissed off at someone be pissed at them but do not take it out on everyone else. Pissed on would just be super gross.

Have Wii or weed?
I have always said that my type of video games are the ones with a controller that I can sit in front of a TV and veg. I'm not faulting Wii for getting people off their asses and making the games more interactive but it just isn't what I would want when I can have weed instead! Of course when I have the weed I might just be dying to have an interactive system like the Wii...oh well...does Wii have Halo? No? Didn't think so.

Be able to converse solely using song lyrics or movie quotes?
This is an interesting question because you have to think about which you know more about. Song lyrics only do me good when I am actually listening to the song or when it's stuck in my head. Movie quotes stick with you in some part of your mind (sometimes so many that I wonder if parts of my childhood are being pushed out) for a long time and, take it from someone who is a Simpson fanatic, you remember quotes before you remember specific song lyrics. Of course song lyrics are so vast and varying that you could probably find a good lyric for almost any situation but I don't think I could retain that many lyrics.

Be a guest on "The Daily Show" or "The Colbert Report?"
Colbert is a funny guy but I don't really like his show nor his style of humor while hosting the show. I absolutely enjoy Jon Stewart and his show, from his opening stories to his back up staff and especially his guests. He always has good guests and always tends to have fun with people like Sen. John McCain and many of the actors and actresses in Hollywood. I enjoy watching his show and therefore I would love to be a guest on it.

Lose all of the contacts in your cell phone, or be able to have all of them memorized but only able to use a home phone?
Seeing as how I am never home for more than eating and sleeping I am going to say lose my contacts because I will just go out and get them on a piece of paper for my wallet. For the record though, if you are special enough I have your number memorized already anyway.

Be lost on an island with every single one of your possessions or not be lost but own nothing but a TV and "Lost" DVDs?
Look I love "Lost" as much as the next person but I cannot own only a TV and a "Lost" DVD...uh uh! You think I can get a little crazy now? Oh you just wait and see if the latter happens here. I could get by...if I couldn't get by though I'd be dead soon so the misery would be minimal.

Pay for all your music or just stop listening to music altogether?
I very rarely ever use BearShare or any form of illegal downloading anymore. You cannot guarantee the quality of what you're downloading and the viruses have ravaged my computer before. I use iTunes and pay 99 cents for songs I know will be good quality right from the CD and I can also get a CD on iTunes for like 10 bucks to download the entire thing once it comes out in stores. Kick ass when you use your iPod more than anything else. Why would I never want to listen to music ever again? Screw that shit.

Be able to grow an instant beard or be able to grow instant head hair?
I see different issues with this, one with the beard is that it would be kinda cool if you decide you want a beard that you could grow one in the snap of a finger, especially if you are on the run from the law eh? The downside is how often you would have to shave and, for all you guys out there who will agree, shaving constantly sucks ass. In terms of instant head hair that would be cool if you like long hair, which I do not. You would also either have to learn how to cut hair or have someone who can do it for cheap because you'd be a regular customer to say the least. To answer the question...beard because I'm always going back and forth between beard and cleanly shaved.

Ride the short bus or have to drive the short bus?
Well if I had to ride the short bus I don't think I would really care about this question because I'm probably not in the right state of mind to really understand why I am on this bus. Driving the short bus is a job and in the economy we have a job should be welcomed and encouraged. I personally would have no problem driving the bus but I know some people who would probably crash it by becoming frustrated.

In addition, the "Two Ways to Say the Same Thing" award, according to Mr. Streeter at College Humor is:

"Would you rather have a severe sunburn on your penis for a month or not be able to have sex for a month?"

No comments: