“I’m offended by the reality that television is so hypersexualized and glorifies sexual excess and promiscuity, and then runs screaming into the megachurch and drops to its knees when someone wants to run an advertisement that urges people to be responsible about their sexual expression.” Thank you Dan Savage.
"Dolphins are easily excited when they sense people making love. They get jealous and bang their noses against the window," So I guess this means that Flipper was a perve, and dolphins want to rape us.
Miss Playfoot, of The Silver Ring Thing, loses 'Chastity Ring' case in the UK. More Interesting, Miss Playfoot is vowing not to have sex until marriage. How can you even attempt to do that with a name like Miss Playfoot?
"He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus.'" Wow.
Headline: "Wal-Mart To Sell Jesus, Religious Action Figures" Quick-Cap: "420 Stores Will Carry Line Of Faith-Based Toys" Insert Laughter Here.
Look out world, here comes Nitro Girl. No, really. Nitro Girl. Standing for Truth, Justice, and the Nitrogen Advantage. You know, that tire thing.
Never, ever, EVER print in color. The government is tracking you. With yellow dots. Beware the Yellow Dots!
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