You know what is grosse?

Breastfeeding.

You heard me right, folks. Breastfeeding is one of the most vile, disgusting, and vomit inducing things that I can think of. However, I am perfectly fine with the idea of said nasty ordeal when it takes place at home or completely hidden from the public.

The problem with breastfeeding is not that it is an act done in order for mothers to provide their children with sustanance, (though the idea always makes me think of a morbidly obese swine, collapsed on one side, covered in mud, while twelve little pink runts vie for the attention of one of the eight available nipples.) but that mothers, and women in general, think that it is acceptable to be done ANYWHERE.

Perhaps I will not be the first to say this, but Public Breastfeeding is disgusting. It is the Trump Card to the already sickening nature of breastfeeding in general, and the WMD on basic pulic courtesy. I had a bit of this argument earlier today with a group of women varying in age. Their consensus was that I was an asshole for thinking that such a "natural and beautiful process" should not be allowed in the public. That I should "just turn my head the other way", and that "I have no business telling women what to do with their bodies."

My response?

Ahem...As far as the "natural and beautiful process" is concerned: How do you feel about the public sex that I plan on having on your lawn? I surely hope that you find it as Natural and Beautiful as I do. I sincerely hope that you would find each and every thrust as beautiful and spellbinding as I do. Though, if you do not like the random display of complete and total public nudity and, well, sweaty fuckfest that I cannot wait to perform, please feel free to just turn your head the other way. It is quite simple, really. All you have to do is turn, face another direction, and ignore the beautiful display of bumping uglies repeatedly, quickly, voraciously, lustily. I must say, though, that it will take more than just turning your head to ignore the incredible amount of verbage and moaning that will be going on. (Much to your chagrin, I have a tendency to talk very dirty, smack ass, and swear often during sex.) Go ahead, turn away, but buy some ear plugs if you are actually offended. Although I am still unsure how you would even have the right to be offended. After all, you have no business telling me what to do with my body.

Everything that is wrong with that is even more so with breastfeeding. So put your fucking milk-filled tits away, and I wont have to have sex on your lawn.