"Random Fact"

or "I might not have early onset Parkinson's afterall"
It might be a byproduct of my mind
We have two sets of nervous systems. One controls excitation, while the other controls inhibition. If you hold out your hand, you might observe minor tremors. This is actually stimulated by slight, random differences in the amount each of the two systems are firing.

When the Fuck did CBS become funny?

On Mondays anyways.

I started watching the show How I Met Your Mother when I saw Jason Segal, so I was intrigued. The show is very funny and there is a lot of people in it, including Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Will Sasso, and the voice of Bob Sagat. Oh, and in the episode I saw, Jason Segal made a lightsaber reference...then proceeded to cut a turkey with a "real" one during the credits. Gold.

Then, a show staring Patrick Warburton (Putty from Seinfeld and the voice of Brock Samson), called Rules of Engagement came on. Surprisingly hilarious. Episode about being a homophobe. Lots of dick jokes. Surprising for CBS. I enjoyed it. Also, one of the girls on the show is fucking gorgeous. Oh, and David Spade is also in the cast

Watched an episode of Two and a Half Men. Lots of dick and masturbation jokes. Again, surprising for CBS.

I have seen some episodes of the Big Bang Theory, which is on now, and it is pretty good. Some of the characters suck so much I almost hate it, but overall its pretty funny. The blonde chick is super hot. Mmmmmmm

Maybe I'll try to get into CBS Mondays. Never thought I'd say that.

Druggie Owls

Feathers everywhere!

This morning, while driving on 127, I hit a turkey. A turkey! In fucking Lansing!? I didn't even know they were around here. I was driving through a construction zone, so even if the turkey crossed the street, it would have nowhere to go. It was on the shoulder and as I am about to pass it, it bolts in front of my car. Stupid fucking animal. I looked in my rearview mirror and all I saw was a bunch of feathers going everywhere. I thought no damage was done when I first looked at my car, but after going back on the highway, I noticed that my headlight got dislodged from it's original position. Guess I have to get that fixed.

Then we saw Transformers: Rise of the Fallen. I gotta say, it was pretty good. I don't know why I'm hearing so many people hating on it. I enjoyed it. It had some sweet action and good humor. The only problems with it where the "Twins" (who are some annoying fucks, or Jar-Jars as Kiznox put it) and Optimus was ridiculously overpowered compared to the first movie. I will let that one slide though, due to the 2 years time between the first and second movie. Who knows what happened in that time, maybe he upgraded? Or maybe Optimus is just a badass mo-fo.

After I dropped Kiznox off, I drove home. While entering 96, some fucker in front of me slowed down to 40mph. Then, as the left lane was merging, decided to wait until the last minute to get over. There was an ENORMOUS gap between me and the car in front of him, so he definitely had the room to get over at anytime. Here's the worst part...not only did he wait until the last minute, he sped up so that he FORCED the car in front of him (at this point, directly next to him) to change lanes to avoid being hit. Seriously, how the fuck did this guy get a license? I wish a cop was around and his license got suspended and then he got tasered. I wish it was me in front of him so he would hit me (I would not get over for that prick) and then I would sue the shit out of him. God dammit I hate America sometimes.

How Have We Not Heard About This?

New Muse albulm "The Resistance" to be released September 14 of this year!
Yup that's right. less than 3 months :-D

It always makes me laugh how it's always like 5 of my favorite bands who come out with a new albulm in the same year

note: Albulm is spelled as such because some idiot spelled the tag wrong

RIP Michael Jackson: You Are The King of Pop!

MJ was a big part of my childhood. I'm pretty sure I have seen all of his music videos. He may have gone off the deep end over the past decade or so, but his time in the 80s was unbelievably awesome. He was one of the greats and he will be missed.

Amazing!


Undeniably one of the BEST dancers/performers to ever grace the stage


He makes the moonwalk look effortless




He made Thriller! He will be forever awesome!

It's Not Been a Good Week for Celebrities

R.I.P. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett

I don't even know what to say - this is insane - in particular Michael Jackson - I knew Farrah Fawcett had been sick for some time, but who would have thought Michael Jackson would die of a heart attack.

Really sad...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ever feel like Alice in Wonderland?

Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter...


This flick wont be out until 2010, but some pretty sweet photos are up here:

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=95568766579&h=NAGqk&u=UevYy&ref=nf

I'm excited for anything Tim Burton puts out...especially one involving 3-D.

Used to be alright...

...what happened? et cetera, et cetera

I don't want to go back to bloomington tomorrow. I don't ever want to go back there. I feel like things are gonna get really bad really soon. I can't imagine Pat and I are gonna be together much longer considering there's no time in the next few months I'm gonna be up here again. and honestly, he doesn't need me in the same way I need him - he's got a close group of friends nearby, multiple hobbies, plenty of things on his plate. I know he likes me just as much as I like him, but I just don't think he has a chance to be so agonized about the distance and lack of contact that I do. I have an empty apartment that I sit in most days for hours in silence praying that Doug will get home soon so there's at least someone there with me. Not to mention the fact that I'm just waiting for the day he decides to move out, just like everyone else did, except Mike. I have no money, and I have nothing to do ever. I try to make friends, but no one ever calls, and the few numbers I have in my phonebook are of people who already have their own groups to hang out with. No one needs me. No one relies on me for anything. I just want someone to hug or curl up with. I don't even know what I like anymore. Food all tastes the same. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me laugh (except sometimes my friends at work). I just sit watching tv waiting for the world to end while Doug listens to his headphones. Even music hasn't been appealing to me recently. I just don't care anymore about anything. I have no reason to. I talked to my mom about moving to Chicago and she aptly pointed out that I should probably move in with my uncle since I have no money for rent and don't have any prospective roommates. Just what I've always wanted. Moving in with my bachelor uncle who I don't even think knows that I'm gay.
I guess that's about it. fuck my life

Fuck this Fan...

I, officially, own the worst fan ever built.

This fucking thing is on full blast. I am sitting less that 2 feet from it. The bastard is strategically aimed at my face. The weather is oppressively humid. Steamy. Ridiculous. And I am nearing the point where I would turn on the a/c if I didnt hate a/c so goddamn much. Yet I feel no wind. My shirt does not flow in any sort of breeze like the thousands of hair product commercials I have seen. No monumental comfort that a fan would yield in this weather. It would seem that this electronic is taunting me.

The fan still faces me, full blast, spinning, whirring, making a horribly loud hum, doing absolutely nothing beneficial for me.

Fuck you, fan.

You are a waste of energy. And, quite possibly, a demon.

All the Pretty Colors...

This site is awesome:

http://labs.ideeinc.com/multicolr

You can choose up to 10 colors and it will find photographs from Flickr's "Creative Commons" (i.e. public domain photos) that are saturated in those colors - so you can essentially make your own photomosaic. It's incredible.

also - check out my new desktop background - take a good look before you blow it up into the bigger version:

America has done it again!

Watching Fox News (just wanted a laugh) and they had a story about David Letterman's comment about Sarah Palin's daughter. Apparently there was a protest outside of CBS studios trying to get Letterman fired. Letterman's response? He had a series of jokes about the protest line. Awesome. I never really cared too much for Letterman, and I don't even know what the joke was about Palin's daughter, but the protesters are fucking ridiculous. They must have lost their jobs and needed something to do. Who fucking cares what Dave said about an underage (not sure about her age) girl who was stupid enough to get preggers and happens to be the daughter of a VP candidate. Oh no, the world is going to collapse because of one comment! This is one reason why I pray for this country. People need to get a fucking sense of humor. Fox interviewed someone at the rally. She was incredibly inarticulate. The whole interview probably lasted a minute. She made my brain hurt. There are too many idiots with too much free time in this country.

Also, the story before that was about Obama saying that Fox News basically hates him. First off, why does he care about what Fox News thinks? Oh, that's right, it's because half of America (the idiots) actually listens to what Fox News says. That is aweful. Then they decided to bash Obama for not wanting to appear on their show to remark on the criticisms. I wonder why? Oh wait, he has a fucking country to run! A country in shambles. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have much free time to sit down for Fox News, you fuck heads. Lay off him and get some real journalists, you right-winged bastards.

On the Necessity of Drugs...

Everything revolves around some sort of drug.

Love
Passion
Pot
Sex
Imagination

I am beginning to understand the need, the necessity, of living free. I am bound by my job...though not entirely griping at the moment...just understanding. I am bound by bills. That I have created. I am bound by the existence of my former self. And, yet, it is the former me that I miss most.

I feel as though I have found a mixture of the then me and the now me.
As though something wonderous can be fashioned together with just the right amount of each.

One day I will explain it all.

One day, I'll understand it myself.


Dont drink and post, my friends. Not when feeling whimsical and introspective.

Scrubs Finale

I don't know if you all watched this a while back but this has always been one of my favorite shows. This ending is just so fitting!

You say Seattle?

I say, this is why.



What I wouldnt give for a view like that.

WHAFUCK???

MTV is now showing futurama.

At 4pm.
On a Tuesday.


Somehow, this is upsetting.

Rooster Illusion Pictures...

Its coming.

It will be memorable...either as a great success or an epic fail.

This will be my everything.

I'm effin pumped.

Jenna Dewan

I just watched Step Up on TBS. Yeah yeah, make fun all you want. I'm just drawn to that movie. One of the main reasons is the main actress, Jenna Dewan. Holy shit is she gorgeous! I want my wife to be that attractive.


The movie also always makes me feel like shit. Not only does it parade around a super attractive woman that I'd have no chance with ever, it also makes me realize that I have no self worth. I don't have anything to offer anyone. I have no talents. Everyone in that movie can do something, whether it is singing, dancing, or playing an instrument. I can do none of those things. I screwed up my childhood by doing nothing of value. Now I'm sitting here, in this fucking hotel room, using a shitload of commas, using a shitty internet connection (Courtyard Marriott, please join the 21st century), sounding super emo...all because I have been lazy all my life.

Guess I'll just have to quit my job and try something better. Free time is a hell of a drug.

Tennessee surprised me

This morning I flew into Nashville, TN (which I did not know was in the Central Time Zone) and proceeded to the rental car desk. The guy asked me if I wanted to upgrade my car to one with cruise control for $8 more per day. That was a shock. I can't get the upgrade, because I won't get reimbursed, and now I know I have to drive 3 hours without cruise control. It's not like I haven't used a car on long trips without cruise control, but I was using a Ford Focus. Those things are uncomfortable to drive for long distances pushing the unresponsive gas pedal. What a piece of shit.

Crappy car aside, I had a majestic trip. I-40 is lined with trees the entire way from Nashville to Memphis. On top of that, it was foggy. I love fog. It was so peaceful. I never knew Tennessee had it in her. I guess it's been a long time since I've been here.

But then, reality set in...I had to work. I hope my drive back is as peaceful as the ride there.

P.S. Cottonmouth, return my call please.

Greatest Advertisement Ever

Summer Camp (Part III)

Sunday did not have a whole lot going on during the day. So when 3:00 pm rolled around we headed over to the Sunshine Stage for Umphrey's to play an acoustic set. It was pretty awesome. I got to hear songs I have never heard before and then others that I have never heard acoustic versions of. It killed. Here is a little taste of an acoustic Prowler:



The whole set was really solid even though, being in the second 'row' i could not see Brendan at all. Boo-urns. Here is the whole set:

One Set
Hangover, Prowler > Resolution* -> Professor Wormbog, That's the Way^, Ride On Pony^, FF -> #Search 4, August

Notes
Sunshine Stage
Brendan and Jake on acoustic guitars
* with A Go Go teases
^ with Mike Rackey on steel pedal guitar
# with Dead or Alive tease

After that we met Jess and Zach over at the main stage to see Medeski, Scofield, Martin, and Wood. It was decent. I am not a huge fan. I did have fun just chilling, listening to music, smoking a little something, and drinking some margaritas. When that ended, we stuck around for moe.'s first set. We then headed over to see Willie Nelson. I stayed waaaaay to long there. It was slightly boring and started to get a little chilly. On the upshot, the sunset was beautiful.

After leaving that, we changed clothes into something warmer and sat at moe.'s last set of the weekend and waited for "things to kick in." It took a long while but eventually did. We were trying our hardest to get into the late night show at the Red Barn (which costed $125 extra, psh). Jess had an extra wristband so we were going to try the old 'don't latch and pull the switcheroo.' It didn't work. SVG tried first and they immediately took it from him and threw it away. Luckily, Zach's friends had gotten a laminent which was all access. So we met up with them outside the Barn and pulled the switcheroo. Hurrah! Free music! The late night show was sick. It started with the Easy Star All Stars (featuring Andy, Kris, and Ryan of UM) playing a reggae cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. It was so awesome to watch. After them EOTO came out and rocked my face off. Who knew two guys from String Cheese Incident could rock so electronically?!? Not I. After they left the stage Bassnectar came out. Once he started, I never once stopped dancing. It was really awesome. The whole late night set, I was really talkative, but no one would talk to me. So I basicaly talked to everyone else around me. Nice people. After that, around 4 am, the night/morning wound down and we hit the hay. Waking up was very bittersweet. The weekend was over and all I had was 60 some odd pictures and a brain full of memories. This was by far the best festival I have ever gone to and I can't wait for next year. Summer Camp 2010!!

GOERG out.

Summer Camp (Part II)

The second day, Saturday, started early around 10 am-ish. The sun was beating down super hot on our tent and I could stay asleep any longer. SVG and I woke up and pretty much went right to Jess' tent to cool our asses off. After putzing around all morning, I headed to the Port-O-John and, like a moth to a flame, I was distracted by the funky jams coming from the Sunshine Stage. I zombie-like walked over there and stood and listened to a good 35 minutes of a band the Family Groove Company. It was so funky and awesome. I was immediately a fan. The second song I saw them play was The Beatles' "Blackbird." It was awesome. Later they brought out Allie Kral from Cornmeal and played "Bennie and the Jets." It rocked. I didn't know anything else by them, but I loved every minute of it. The next band on the stage was Cornmeal so I stuck around. It was pretty decent and very folky rock. SVG and I lost some interest in it and went to meeet Jess and Zach over at the Campfire Stage to see Brainchild. They were killer. They had an early, unpolished UM feel to them. Apparently, they cover UM songs from time to time, whcih is unheard to me! The had this hilarious song, "Moon Party Dance Party." Some lyrics were: 'You have Keith Moon, we have Keith Earth. You have Looney Tunes, we have lunar tunes.' And in the middle of the song they played the Sesame Street theme and the Fraggle Rock (!) theme. Sweet new band. After that set, we shot over to U-Melt who was also very good. Their cover was Zappa's "Dancing Fool." I can definitely see myself listening to more of them. We only caught a mere one or two songs of Les Claypool before we went to wait for Umphrey's. Slight disappointment. But oh well.

The main event: Umphrey's began playing around 7 pm. The first set was pretty good. There was a nice sit in from Claypool himself in a monkey mask on Mulche's Odyssey on the whamola (it's like a stand up bass, kinda, look it up).

But the second set was the effin shit. The set break was quiet as everyone went to go see moe. play. Fuck that. We smizzed a bizz with some dude in front of us. This guy literally pass out from exhaustion during BOTH UM shows. And I was right by him both times. Scary shit. I thought he died. As the sun set by the stage, anticipation crept in. I started to get super antzy. We met this awesome girl who gave us glowsticks and a pot caramel. Delicious and sticky. There was also some awesome dude with a milk carton mask who was just my same sense of humor. Good dude. Did I mention I was tripping my balls off the entire time? Anyways, the music began with a sick 1348 (or was it 3x? hehe) followed by Triple Wide (really) and a The Floor that was off the charts. Felix Pastorious came out and dazzled the whole crowd with his boss bass during Bright Lights. A huge hightlight of this set was the fact that fire works were going off during 1348, Miss Tinkle's, and Wizard Burial Ground. It was sick!

After that sick shit happened, we went to moe. for a few songs and wandered and hung out with Jess for a bit, only to eventually catch the last part of moe.'s set which was pretty good. They are no UM though. Here is the whole set, if you care:

Set One
2nd Self, Spires > JaJunk, Tribute to the Spinal Shaft > Red Tape, Mulche's Odyssey^

Set Two
1348$, The Triple Wide, The Floor, Bright Lights^^, Sad But True / Clint Eastwood, Miss Tinkle's Overture$

Encore
Cemetery Walk > Wizard Burial Ground$

Notes
Sunshine Stage
^ with Les Claypool on whamola
$ with fireworks
^^ with Felix Pastorious replacing Ryan on bass

(Sweet wax covered shopping carts at night)

Well, one day left.

GOERG out.

Just for you, Goerg

hahaha...

Hypnotist

Watch Hardly Working: Hypnotist and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

From the President of the US

I hope everybody realizes what a huge deal this is - so in case you missed it:

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION

Forty years ago, patrons and supporters of the Stonewall Inn in New York City resisted police harassment that had become all too common for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. Out of this resistance, the LGBT rights movement in America was born. During LGBT Pride Month, we commemorate the events of June 1969 and commit to achieving equal justice under law for LGBT Americans.

LGBT Americans have made, and continue to make, great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society. There are many well-respected LGBT leaders in all professional fields, including the arts and business communities. LGBT Americans also mobilized the Nation to respond to the domestic HIV/AIDS epidemic and have played a vital role in broadening this country's response to the HIV pandemic.

Due in no small part to the determination and dedication of the LGBT rights movement, more LGBT Americans are living their lives openly today than ever before. I am proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration. These individuals embody the best qualities we seek in public servants, and across my Administration -- in both the White House and the Federal agencies -- openly LGBT employees are doing their jobs with distinction and professionalism.

The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress, but there is more work to be done. LGBT youth should feel safe to learn without the fear of harassment, and LGBT families and seniors should be allowed to live their lives with dignity and respect.

My Administration has partnered with the LGBT community to advance a wide range of initiatives. At the international level, I have joined efforts at the United Nations to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include enhancing hate crimes laws, supporting civil unions and Federal rights for LGBT couples, outlawing discrimination in the workplace, ensuring adoption rights, and ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security. We must also commit ourselves to fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic by both reducing the number of HIV infections and providing care and support services to people living with HIV/AIDS across the United States.

These issues affect not only the LGBT community, but also our entire Nation. As long as the promise of equality for all remains unfulfilled, all Americans are affected. If we can work together to advance the principles upon which our Nation was founded, every American will benefit. During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.

Summer Camp (Part I)

Well, SVG and I have been back from Summer Camp for a couple weeks now and I am finallt getting around to posting this:

We started our trip on Friday at 1 AM. We left the apartment and headed out onto the long dusty trail. It took us a good 6 hours or so to get there (thank gods for GPS). We pulled into the campsite around 7 am or so (their time) and pace around the campground until we figured out what to do. No one told us where to go or where to camp...or even where to park! So we hoisted all of our shit onto our backs and made the trek into the park. After settling on a spot just outside of the tree line. It quickly became blistering hot under the May sun. I, being the moron that I am, fell asleep for almost 2.5 hours in the hot sun...which eventually burned my skin. Ouch! At one point, this guy, Drew, who I always run into at UM shows, found me sleeping and took a picture of us. The picture is below. I barely woke up for it. He ended up being camped right behind us.

After waking up around noon or noon-thirty. Claudio and I made our way over to moe. It was, not surprisingly, boring. We only stayed for about a half hour before bouncing. We spent a good chunk of the day avoiding the sun over at Zach and Jess' shaded campsite. At 4 pm, we went to see Dark Star Orchestra...which also sucked. Finally, 6 pm rolled around and we mad our way to the Moonshine Stage for Buckethead. He was so awesome. It was him and an iPod and he still captivated the entire audience. Very awesome showman! Here is a little "Jordan":


Umphrey's was playing at the same stage after Buckethead so SVG and I ate some fungi sandwiches and hung out near the front row for them to start. Needless to say, UM fuckin rocked. The entire show was filled with jamming and they really tore it up. The opener to the 2nd set was The Who's "Baba O'Riley" which they brought out a fiddler Allison Kral, from Cornmeal. She is smokin' hot, IMO.

It was so awesome. The rest of the show rocked. Highlights from UM's set: Ocean Billy, jammed out Turn & Run, 11 and a half minute long Smell The Mitten (complete with killer bass action), and the huge fleshed Bridgeless. The entire setlist is below. After UM, we just walked around finishing off our trips. We went to some disco and I bought a beer, but nothing special. Rockin' first day!

Set One
40's Theme, Turn & Run > "Jimmy Stewart" > Turn & Run, Ocean Billy -> The Bottom Half, Mail Package, Last Man Swerving -> Believe the Lie

Set Two
Baba O'Riley^, Nothing Too Fancy > Ocean Billy, Smell the Mitten > Much Obliged, Cemetary Walk II, Bridgeless* > Nothing Too Fancy

Encore
#Soul Food I > Preamble > Mantis

Notes
Moonshine Stage
^ with Allie Kral (Cornmeal) on violin
* with Xxplosive jam
# with Partyin' Peeps tease

RIP David Carradine

This morning (June 4th, 2009) Kill Bill actor, David Carradine, was found dead in a Bangkok hotel. Reports say he hung himself somewhere between Wednesday night and Thursday morning. He was in Thailand shooting the movie Stretch (for which I can find no info). Carradine was most famous for his role in the 1970s TV series Kung Fu, but later immortalized in his role as Bill in the Kill Bill series. I don't know much about his early works, but I will miss him and all his badassness.

This Takes Some Big, Juicy Balls

Some kid in a Washington HIGH school was giving a speech about the legalization of marijuana. At some point during his speech, he lit up a joint! Then went on to finish smoking it and ate the rest!

What school is this where they don't stop him instantly? He was eventually arrested.

Dear Hidden Valley

I've seen your recent commercials - you know "there's this magical wonderful place where kids eat their vegetables, and even like them!"
While I recognize that it is often difficult to get a regular amount of vegetables in a child's diet, do you really think it's better to have them eat vegetables but also add THAT MUCH to their fat intake at the same time? They may as well be eating french fries. Throwing a bunch of fat-filled sauce on vegetables will NOT make your child healthier. I have NO issues with Ranch dressing - I like it as much as the next guy - but at a certain point you realize that "wow dipping everything in ranch means that just from the ranch I've received all of my daily calorie, sodium, and fat intake."
And I have news for you: kids in hidden valley don't love vegetables. They love ranch. And if you spread enough ranch on it, even a pile of dog crap would be palatable.

COTTONMOUTH OUT!