It's that time of the week again!

Rambo Dakota officially presents to you this week's "Would You Rather" column, as always, courtesy of College Humor! We tackle those tough issues and make you think about just how bad your life actually could be had you actually had to choose between these two things. As always I select from the best of the ones listed because some are just retarded. So here we go:

Would you rather...

Eat Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries or Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch?

Crunchberries dude! I'm a peanut butter fan and all but I never liked that peanut butter taste with Cap'n Crunch. I used to love those crunchberries though, plus since I did not eat that cereal all that often I was excited no matter what was in it. Plus when I see the word "crunchberries" I'm somehow reminded of "the schnozberries taste like schnozberries." Thanks Super Troopers!

Have constant background music based on your day to day actions or one random breakout of song and dance per day?

The breakout song and dance is tempting but can anyone honestly say they would not love their own background music based on day to day actions? I did not think so. It is a great way of helping people tell who is in what mood, among other things. The only thing I would wonder about is if that were to come true would I get to pick the music or is it just generic for both? That could be a more specific would you rather question...and now that I've posed it I will answer it. I would like it if I got to pick my background music, but would like the option to have a generic set for those too lazy to do something about it. That helps you get a beat on people too...who is just too damn lazy to personalize their life that way. You know...this question has made me happy...if it was a person I might have sex with it...or at least marry it.

Have a constant stuffy nose, or a constant runny nose?

This is one of those questions that I was talking about earlier. There are worse things in life but to have to choose between one of these makes you happy that it's probably never going to come to such a choice in your life. The beauty of "would you rather" questions but I digress...oh the nose has found a new way to piss me off. Stuffy you can deal with and it does not make you stop what you are doing and grab a tissue. Runny and stuffy noses blow (hahaha) and it would make it hard to breathe sometimes if the nose is stuffed but I have to go with the time saver in stuffed nose...plus I hate constantly blowing my nose and it becoming red and raw.

Know when to hold 'em, or know when to fold 'em?

I'm going to translate this question and answer it in two categories: In respect to cards and in relationships. I feel that this question begs both of these be answered and being the people pleaser I am I'm going to give you both. I am excited to answer both ways to analyze this very interesting question.

CARDS: I love playing cards and I don't think I do it enough. I think I need a card party soon, that could be a fun night of drinking and debauchery but once again I digress. The beauty of cards is you can create an ability to bluff and make everyone around you think you have what you don't. In that aspect I would say, if you have the ability to do this well I think you have to lean toward fold 'em because you are going to make a hand out of nothing with your ability to bluff so there is no need to know whether you should hold them because you already will no matter what. I personally would rather know when to hold 'em, and not simply because I don't specialize in bluffing. I think if you know which ones to hold then you will get the cards on the flop in Texas Hold'em or get the one last buy in Frustration.

Here comes the interesting analysis of this question. How many of you thought of cards when you first saw the question? How many of you thought of relationships? Believe it or not I thought of a way to make the question more interesting before logic even kicked in and I thought of relationships first...sexy huh?

RELATIONSHIPS: It is hard to look at relationships with this kind of question, mostly because I believe it takes the joy and the spontanoeousness out of finding that person for yourself and working through. Heartbreak is a part of any relationship and, at some point in our lives, we will have our heart broken...but we move on and we get stronger (most of us anyway). If I knew my relationship was a hold 'em I would take that too much for granted and probably do something that, knowing it won't matter, I would never do otherwise. To some people, a few of which I can think of, that would not be a problem at all but it's just not for me. On the other hand (hahahaha..get it! Card references...hilarious) if I knew when to fold'em it would take away from some of the essential things in life. You don't always end up with that first person but knowing that there is a chance either way is what makes getting into relationships so damn exciting. If you knew right away that you should just fold them because someday they will hurt you and they are not "the one" for you then you lose out on the quintessential purpose. If I have to pick one I choose fold'em but with one stipulation...tell me when they are going to hurt me because if it is the next day or twenty years from now that goes into the decision more than the fact it is going to happen.

Your farts be visible but odorless or invisible but terrible smelling?

Ah the beauty of College Humor WYR questions continues onto this one. It actually raises a remarkable question for being so unnecessary. I think it would be funny for farts to be visible and especially odorless if so, although I don't know if I could pick that one. Really either way you look at it you are going to draw attention to yourself but by having them invisible you can blame them on someone else and there is no evidence that the leakage is coming out of your ass like it would be if visible. Not going to matter either way though...farts are farts.