The Rambler's Weekly WYR

Once again, thanks to College Humor, we are brought upon the conundrums of our lives that we may never truly think about. They are not important sometimes but dammit they are interesting! Here goes another installment of Would You Rather?

Would you rather...

1. Fight Sub-Zero or Scorpion?

Ah Mortal Kombat, how you've touched us all. Well let's see...Scorpion with his spears, teleporting, fire breath, and his summoning of hellfire vs. Sub-Zero with his deep freeze, slides, ice showers, and his cold shoulder. Man I would be dead in like half a minute regardless but if I DID stand a chance somehow I would probably be more apt to fight Sub-Zero. You cannot fight with fire when you have none, however with ice there is a chance you can use it to your advantage as it is a solid substance that you can touch and not shriek in pain!

2. Only eat potato chips or only eat Pringles?

This one isn't too hard. There are so many types of potato chips to choose from, which is not to say there aren't a lot of flavors of Pringles, that you cannot go wrong there. I would miss BBQ Pringles but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the following: Better Maid BBQ, Lays Masterpiece BBQ, Sun Chips, and Fritos (if those count as chips of some kind).

3. Not shower for a year or wear the same thing every day without washing it for a year?

It may just be questions like this that make me wonder about the human brain and how it can, at times, be totally unable to produce anything of value to society. In response to this marvelous question...I gotta go with the same thing every day without washing it because even though that is not cleaned at least you are, and you don't always have to have clothes on...am I right ladies? Oh who am I kidding...

4. Have a stutter or a lazy eye?

Well I will say that a lazy eye can be "corrected" with glasses and it will always be noticeable...as will your stutter. I think I would get so flustered with the stutter I might hit myself in the face and probably be in a speech class to correct it ASAP. It is questions like this that make me love "Would You Rather" because either way I could be kinda sexy, yet creepy at the same time!

5. Have sex with a person of your same gender or a monkey of the opposite?

Wow. There is not a lot of words to describe this question. Wow. Umm...I have no interest in fucking a monkey period. Thank you.

6. Have a paper cut between your fingers that never heals or always have a pebble in your shoe?

Interestingly enough I would have to go with the pebble. Eventually the pebble will be in a position that you will not feel it, we all know how those friggin paper cuts in between your fingers can kick your ass. That is not to say the pebble wouldn't be a huge pain in the ass but it's only a pebble.

7. Always smell like eggs or always smell like milk?

I don't know if I've been around people who smell like either of these so...I'm not so sure. I mean if you're talking like cooked eggs then fuck yeah. See milk has no real good smell about it and it is not a very interesting smell. Eggs are not either but they are something better than milk...especially if cooked...mmmmm eggs.

The "I can spell hard words but not easy words" question:

8. Would you rather be an insufferable ass who everyone hates but who has a lot of moeny, or be poor but be esteemed by your peers?

I could not stand to be an insufferable ass. What good is money if you have no one to share it with or enjoy the benefits of it with? No good that's what. You can be the richest person in the world but if everyone hates you then you serve no purpose because you have failed as a human being. You have failed in one of the most key aspects of life: relationships. Life by itself is a wonderful journey but that journey cannot ever be complete without picking up some companions on the way to help you in different ways and give you those memorable moments.

For all those friends of mine who I have picked up on this journey of life so far, thank you and I'm glad you could be along for the long walk.