My Triumphant Return: An Open Letter to James Cameron

Dear Mr. Cameron,

I really like you as a director. You have built your career around some of my favorite movies, like Alien, Terminator 2, True Lies, among others. You were a king among men. So why did you have to be the one to unleash upon us the horror of 3D filmmaking? I commend you for devoting your precious time to redefining cinema, but seriously, why did it have to be 3D? Ever since Avatar came out, 3D has been all the rage. The overly fake looking, shiny turd of the cinematic style that 3D brings is being used by every god damn filmmaker looking to be all in-the-now.

But why?

I know one reason is that 3D movie tickets are like $14 a pop and the entertainment industry is a gigantic whore for the money. But that's not my main gripe (right now at least), because I don't pay for movies at the theater (yay connections!). My main gripe with this shit is that the filmmakers are using this technology as a gimmick. Things still pop out at the screen like in the times when you had the red and blue glasses. All playing into the gimmick. No one expands on the technology and makes it a worthwhile experience. So far (if I remember correctly), I have seen Alice In Wonderland, The Last Airbender, Step Up 3D, Piranha 3D, and Resident Evil: Afterlife all in 3D, and the only thing I can say about these movies (besides all of them sucking) is that the 3D hurts the film more than it helps, or adds to it. It makes everything look like its filmed in front of a green screen...which most of it probably is. On top of the crappy gloss that the movie exudes, you have to wear those awful glasses that only hurt my nose.

The ONLY type of movies that should use 3D is animated movies. YOU HEAR THAT HOLLYWOOD??! Whenever I see an animated movie in 3D, it actually looks good. It adds a field of depth and doesn't look overly fake, BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING ANIMATED! I've seen Bolt, How to Train Your Dragon, Toy Story 3, and probably some others and the 3D makes the visuals pop. In a good way.

So Mr. Cameron, please use your clout in Hollywood to donkey-punch this technology into submission. It's fucking useless. Maybe you're just trying to cover up the fact that no one has an original idea anymore. Let's have another remake...in 3D!!!! Fuck yourself, sir. You have ruined cinema after you spent decades making it fun. Congrats.

Now give me a job making Hollywood better.

I Can't Take It!

As you guys may know, I am incredibly miserable at my job. I have no free time and I'm constantly shit on. This past weekend I was forced to stay in Houston for an extra day just because I would spend 8 hours in the store instead of 9 if I took the Friday flight. Instead of getting home Friday night, I was forced to lose 4 hours of quality time I could of had to move out. Now I have to unfairly put that burden on Kiznox to finish up for me because I'm not in the state.

Then Kiznox and I drove to Chicago, as he has already outlined. I will leave the good, fun, happy story time to him. All I could think of on Sunday is how fucked I'm going to be on Monday.

Well, I was fucked today. I left for the airport, only to get pulled over and receive a speeding ticket. Awesome start. Get to the airport and miss my flight because the security line is too long. Even better. The flight I ended up on wasn't bad, I slept for most of it. Then I got into the Charlotte airport, where I have to sit for an hour and a half before my flight leaves. The time comes up to where my flight is supposed to take off and we're still in the terminal. An announcement comes up on the speaker saying that the plane needs a part and it'll be 15 more minutes. Another announcement comes on, saying they may need to change planes and it'll be 30 more minutes before they know. Well, we end up changing planes and waiting at another gate for 45 more minutes. We board that plane...finally. While onboard, we wait for another 30 minutes before even taking off. What the fuck! I got in 4 hours late. It's cool that I got a half day, but I was stressing out.

The whole time, all I could think about is how much I can't take this anymore. It's true. I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice by the end of this week. I'm aging too quickly and I have no life. I don't need this shit. Now I have to work on these stupid fucking goals because I got a bad evaluation from one piece of shit manager a couple weeks ago.

I don't need this stress. Fuck this god damn company!

I'm Crying Inside

Cottonmouth, I am deeply hurt by your insensitive attitude toward my want for voids to be filled. I'm not really sure what I even mean, but sarcasm is lost on the internet

Anyways, what I really wanted to say was: Fuck McG for making Terminator Salvation a PG-13 rated movie. I'm sure I'll still like it, but by lowering the rating you are not keeping true to the movie's roots. You smuck. I hate how money wins out over creative freedom. It's a franchise built on over-the-top action and robots cursing like sailors. I wish that when a studio makes a "movie for the masses" that it comes complete with a blow job, because at least then I'll be able to handle the forced insertion of their 2 hour long dick into my ass for buying the ticket to see their mainstream garbage. Movies should be made for the audiences they are supposed to be targeted for. Cases in point:

Die Hard 4 should have been rated R. The unrated version did nothing more than add about 10 fucks to the movie. There was no blood, there was no soul. I apparently liked it only "because things exploded" (I hate you guys). I did enjoy it, but to me it did not feel like what a Die Hard movie should be. It felt very...mainstream

X-Men Origins: Wolverine...first off, the title is too fucking long. Just call it Wolverine for fucks sake. Second, Wolverine was never a PG-13 character. He has fucking metal claws. Chop someone in half, god dammit! He chopped off someone's hand in the comics (Silver Samurai's I do believe). I want more hard-assed Canadian chopping people up and not playing grab ass with Gambit. That never happened, but it might as well have. I was disappointed by the need to make it mainstream. They didn't need to. They have Ironman and Spiderman for that. Also, during the credits where they are fighting in the Civil War, that would have been a perfect time to show Logan get a cannonball through the chest and watch it heal up. But no, the movie is rated PG-13. Cool things can't happen if blood is involved. I may have forgiven the shitty CGI claws if they used a little blood in the movie...maybe.

I'll just have to wait and see what Terminator will be like in a couple of days. It better not suck...


Have you ever noticed that only about 1 in 10 hairdressers are hot? One came into a store today, and she was gorgeous. I wanted to tackle her, rip her clothes off, and make sweet nasty love to her right in the store with everyone watching. She was that hot. Then, a while later, other girls from the same salon came in and I wanted to show them a cross to see if they would catch on fire.

2 cents

I'm Miserable with my life

I fucking hate my job and I'm pretty sure that's the root cause of me being so miserable. I'm on the road so much, I don't have a life. I don't have time to do much of anything and if I do, I don't want to do anything because the week just drained me. I don't have time to keep any form of a social life. Case in point, I get roughly a day and maybe 4 hour weekend this week. Then I'll probably have to drive back here.

Which brings me to another reason I hate this job. I was told to come to New Albany, IN so I can be close to Louisville in case the store opened on Wed. They fucking knew it wasn't going to happen, but they sent me here anyways. 700 mile round trip later, I'm gonna fucking hate it when they send me back. They don't give a shit about me or anyone in this company who doesn't have VP in their title. I get $65 per night, including taxes, to stay in a hotel. Somehow I found one where I check out on Friday. I work until Saturday. My boss (the VP) told me to sleep in my car. If I pay for a hotel, only $65 is covered. I'm in Louisville during the week of the Kentucky Derby...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! The cheapest hotel I can get for Friday night is $175. Thankfully the franchisee I'm working with says I can stay at his house on Friday night. Lucky me...sigh

Also, since I'm in a hotel 5 days a week, eating mostly fast food, I'm definitely gaining weight. Even if the hotel has a fitness center, I don't want to use it because I'm usually too worn out from the day and I don't have any place to put the sweaty clothes.

I'm pretty sure this job is accelerating the rate at which my hair is turning gray

I hate lease terms. I need to get rid of my car to keep working at a job I hate. Yippee skippy.

I hate all the bullshit paperwork they make me do just so they can justify paying me. I do a lot of work for these franchisees...you know, my job...but I receive no benefit for doing this job. Getting a paycheck is not a benefit. I get no time off, I don't get sick days or PTO, or a matching 401K. I don't get a chance to run my own store for a couple of years. Even if we can get one, who knows if I want to do this anymore. These franchisees are wearing me out.

I don't have any skills or any time to learn anything. I haven't had sex in about a year. I'm miserable and I just want to be rich. Fuck it, I don't care if I'm rich, I just want to be happy.

Word to the wise, if you have a chance to get an intership...TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!! I can't fucking stress that enough. Find a job that lets you have a normal life. I fucked up my college life. I'm paying for it. I sure hope this is a struggle I must endure before my life gets better. God I hope it gets better.

I miss a normal life

The Future is Fucked

Nothing is sacred.

Curiosity and innovation (kinda) are dead.

The internet and other technology have ruined everything.


Anything that you would have seen as innovative in a movie or TV show is on the internet. In some form or another. This is good for the masses that like to consume a massive amount of junk in a short time. But its bad for people, like me, who don't have much time to consume all that junk. Also, original IPs are going quick. Look at movies. Remakes EVERYWHERE! Not that its a bad thing, but what's the future going to hold? Everything is going to be just a rehash of something else.

Also, this is probably just me, I am really going to miss the nostalgia feeling of looking at an old photo. Everything is digital now. Unless you print it up, there is no physical picture. Also, I love looking at old photos from the 70s-80s, because people look so ridiculous. To me, photos now will never give me that feeling of nostalgia, because they are digital. I may not think this way in 10 years, who knows.

There is one good thing about the internet, which may change the way TV is viewed in the next couple of years, which is that censorship may be dead. If television wants to keep up with the internet, they are going to have to revise their position on censorship. Kids now have no boundaries. They can view anything they want to on the internet. Pretty much ANYTHING, literally. That's scary, but also kinda nice. I fucking hate censorship...if you can't tell.


I'm scared for the future. Will anything be left to do?

I gotta stop writing thoughtful posts when I'm tired. I could have worded this better, but now I don't care.

Enjoy

Hock's Rant-O-Rama: The Sequel!

I'm going to continue because I thought of some more things

Found out today that I'm going to North Carolina this coming week. It's almost set in stone that my flight will leave at around 6:30am, which means that I'll have to get to the airport at 5:30am which means I'll have to leave my apartment no later than 4am which means I'll have to get up at 2:30am to get ready. So, basically I'm going to have Saturday night (if I'm lucky I'll be home by 10pm) and half of Sunday to do anything. Of course this weekend Johnny Cottonmouth decides to come up. The weekend my fucking job is letting me stay home for 24 hours. Thanks, life! While I have no problem going to N. Carolina, because I've never been there before and would like to see it, I wish I had some fucking time at home. I seriously wasted a week of my life by being here this week and I wish I could have come home today. Also, a non-stop flight to Raleigh from Metro is less than 2 hours...the flight I'll probably end up taking is close to 5 hours, which includes an hour and a half between flights. Fuck me!

So, luckily I didn't drive this week, because we put on about 600 miles so far NOT including the drive from MI or the drive back. I need to get rid of my car. Of course when my dad came up with an idea of what to do, the car I wanted was sold. Once again, fuck me! So now I'm left with almost no options. Luckily it'll be sitting in a parking garage for another fucking week. God damn I don't want to leave MI so quickly.

So, my dad and I did my taxes last weekend. Because they claimed me, I'm getting back a grand total of $205! My dad's only words: "Welcome to life, you'll learn to deal with it." WTF?! I was expecting so much more this year. I guess I'll let them have it, they've helped me out with so much in the past couple of years. BTW: Fuck You, the government!

I hate that I can't remember much of anything from my childhood. I was on Google earlier and the logo was based off the book The Very Hungry Catepillar, which was completely wiped from my memory until I saw Google's logo. Fuck! I want to remember my childhood...any aspect of it!

That brings me to the next part of my rant. I wish I had some reference from my childhood that is just so amazingly awesome that no one else has thought of, just so I can have a new Xbox Live name. On that topic, I want to get a new 360 for a bigger hard drive, but its so much of a fucking hassle to change things over from my old HDD. Also, with my fucking job it feels like its getting harder and harder to even play the fucking thing. AHHHHHRRRGGGH!!

I was at the bar in the hotel last night and this incredibly hot chick sat down. She was with a horse face nasty. They ordered waters. We started talking to them. They barely returned the convo. The girl gave me the "fuck me" stare. They left. I noticed they were fishing for free drinks. Fuck those bitches. The bartender informed me they were most likely prostitutes. HA! Which reminds me how much I miss sex. Not only is this job slowly killing me, it competely killed my social life and any chance I had to get laid. Fuck me...please?

All the posts that Rambo did about the old Simpsons episodes made me realize how amazingly awesome seasons 2-12 are. Downright genius. What happened to my dearly beloved? I loved you once, but then you turned to whoring yourself out for 20+ seasons. While breaking records is great, you should have bowed out when you had the chance to do it gracefully. I have missed so many episodes that I honestly don't care to watch the new ones. That saddens me. I am deeply hurt. Matt Groening, you fuck head, you're lucky Futurama is super amazingly awesome or I'd shoot you in the dick (which is something you should never do). I'll watch the series finale (whenever the fuck that will be), but until then, I don't give a fuck. Thankfully, I have some of the DVDs.

Once again, while writing that rant, I forgot some of the other things that piss me off. God Damn mother fucking cunt shit dick grapes pokemon!

Oh, by the way, Knowing was competely off the wall. It was rather intense and decent, but the ending was absurbed. Way more than Indiana Jones 4. Also, Nick Cage's hair is one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen on a man's head. Why is he so popular?


Hock out!

Hock's Rant-O-Rama

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd just rant.

First off, FUCK traffic! Also, fuck taxi drivers! They are fucking insane here (Chicago). I heard that New York's are crazier, and if so that would be insane, but the one's here are definitely assholes.

On that note, I'm pretty sure I hate my job. Especially this week. This week we were supposed to open a store in downtown Chicago. Well, they were pending a second review from the health inspector before they could open. The inspector was supposed to be there by 8:30am on Wed. He still hasn't shown. So, we were sent to Algonquin, which is about an hour and a half away from the city (depending on traffic). What are we doing there? More or less...NOTHING! We helped open the store for these guys, so they know us, but by no means do they need our help or "support". So, because the fucking corrupt health inspector can't get to the fucking store we are here to open, we are bullshitting around an hour and a half away. That's 3 pointless hours on the road everyday. Thank god my car isn't here. I have to do this until fucking Saturday!

I hate when cars show their poor quality. I don't really understand why, in some cars, the vents still shoot out hot/cold air even when it's OFF?! It doesn't make sense! It's off, what the fuck is keeping them on? I've experienced it in several cars. Shitty.

I want a fucking normal schedule back. I don't want to have to wake up at 5am to get somewhere by 11am to work until 8pm. I want to get up at 7am, work at 8am and be home by 5pm. Damn that would be nice. I would also accept working strange hours if I actually enjoyed the work I was doing.

I wish I had more skills. In anything. Any extra skill to enhance my life. I have become so mundane and I hate it.

Because I'm on the road so much, it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to eat healthy. Fuck that! I'm gaining weight and not working out. I hate myself.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go to 311 and Incubus (and possibly Lolla, depending on the lineup) this summer, but I'm sure my job is going to somehow fuck me over and keep me from going.

I hate using so many commas, it makes me feel like I just use a bunch of run-on sentences all the time...which I probably do.

Finally, I fucking hate not remembering all the things I originally wanted to rant about. Fuck.


Hock out!

My Problem with Women

I suck at approaching/talking to them. If I was in the middle of a conversation, I'd be fine. I'm just horrible at starting a conversation. I never know what to say. I'm not witty or funny or good-looking enough to get away with something cheesy or stupid. It's like my nuts are collecting cobwebs. I probably shouldn't be finding random hook-ups in bars, but I just need to find a good girl to just fuck silly.

Funny/sad story: I was at the Riv on Saturday night, talking to a friend. I turn around and get my dick fondled. My reaction? I grab a handful of that girl's titties. Well, she must of liked it because I didn't get slapped. The sad part is that I just stood there. I didn't follow her. I didn't see her naked. I also have no clue what she looks like...Seriously, I don't remember ever looking at her face. What? I was really drunk.

Moral of the story: I need to grow a pair, stop being such a pussy, and get out there and fuck some pussy. Damn, I'm horny.

Where Did My Free Time Go?

I'm in the process of buying a new car, and fuck, my job is making it INCREDIBLY difficult to close the deal. At the same time, its the same job that's giving me the money to be able to buy this car. Catch-22. The dealership I'm buying (maybe) the car from is closed on the weekends and for the next couple of weeks I'm only going to have weekends off. What the fuck? I have to do everything over the phone, which sucks. I guess its doable, but not very easy. This is not a light purchase, I need to be there to figure out everything about the car and make a final say. God dammit.

If you can't tell, I'm pretty ticked off. I'm buying this car because I have this job and a lease doesn't cut it. I got a little help by having Monday (2 days ago) off, but that wasn't enough. I might have this coming Monday off, but that's still up in the air. God, I hope so.

So, this got me thinking how much I DON'T want to do this forever. I just want to get out of the food service industry. It can get so fucking annoying. I know at some point Kiznox and I are planning to own a JJs or two, with the ultimate goal of owning a bar (which are all in the food industry, I know). But, for now, I really want to get away. Take some 9-5 job and have nights and weekends off. Not just weekends. Its cool traveling and all (right now I'm in Orlando and its gorgeous outside), but it wears on you when you want to do something and aren't able to.

I guess really all I want is the ability to take time off. Such as personal time off, sick time, or vacation anytime I want (not when they tell me). But I get no such luxury, because I'm in the food service industry. I don't even have a cap on the hours I work. I'm working about 50 hours per week, which doesn't even include travel. Eventually I'll be able to pretty much make my own hours and work about 35-40 hours per week, but who knows when that will happen. Hopefully before Lollapalooza (if the lineup rocks), so I can actually go (if the lineup rocks).

I don't want to take some mind-numbing job in a cubicle, but I do want to get away from the food service industry. The only problem is that I have no skills or redeeming qualities that would make me a better candidate than the next person. So basically I'm stuck. I'm stuck and I can't wedge my way out. I guess, in this economy, I'm glad I have a decent paying job...or a job period. But, if it was in any other industry, I think I would be happier. Even if it was sucking out my soul. Just for a little while...

What's the Deal with Country Music?

Seriously. It's horrible.

I've been subjected to it for almost 2 weeks now (on Sirius while opening) and I have found no redeeming qualities. Whatever I was listening to was stereotypical country. All they sing about is dogs, trucks, outdoors, Jesus and infidelity. How those relate is anyone's guess, but they do it. I guess that's a good quality, maybe? This was pretty much every song. No matter who's singing it, guy, girl, group, whatever, it was always the same. Every singer has that weird twang in their voice that is somehow considered singing. Its a crazy southern accent that's not even good. Ugh. Not only were the lyrics horrid, but the rest of the music (all the other instruments) was just not appealing. Nothing good about it. There must be something wrong with most of this country.

No one can say I don't like it because I've never listened to it. Oh, I listened and now I have a hemorrhage in my head.

This Is My...

...Theory of a Deadman who was Trapt because he didn’t give his Nickelback to the Disturbed Papa, Roach. He was given a Three Days Grace period, but was pushed into a Puddle of Mudd which Staind his Chevelle. The Fall Out, Boy was it bad. His Saliva started to Hinder his life. He had a Shinedown from heaven, and his head exploded!


Seriously, why are these bands popular? Most of them sound the same, and make me want to puke. Those weren't even all of the bands I thought of (Tantric, Crossfade, Finger Eleven come to mind, along with many others). The thing that's really bad is that I've listened to most of those bands and at some point, I liked them. Except Fall Out Boy, I never liked them. I guess I was just naive back then and was drawn to the catchy riffs and whatnot. I don't mind Disturbed, but mostly their older stuff. Their new stuff just doesn't have the pizazz of their older stuff. They also put on a rather entertaining show.

I wish Americans weren't so stupid. Why can't they like good bands (especially live) like 311, Raconteurs, Umphrey's, NIN, etc. If we just weeded out the horrible bands, then there could be more bands like that. If that were true, then maybe I'd have some faith in popular culture. Fucking America.

I Don't Like This Trend...

The auto industry is tanking, gasoline has its limits, and I don't have the money to have fun.

I know you guys don't really care about cars that much, but I'm going to rant anyways. The Corporate Average Fuel Efficiency (CAFE) standards are going to rise to 35mpg across all cars and trucks by the year 2020. While this is an amazing thing for the environment, it also shows a sign of the death of exotics and sports cars. And to me, the death of a certain fun. The way the industry is now, it shows only a little promise for fun electric/hybrid cars in the future. While the effort is there, right now I just don't see it happening. Also, the styling for much of these cars (right now all concepts), look futuristic but so much so that they aren't really pleasing to the eye. Why do they have to be so over the top? I don't get it.

I haven't had much change to toy around with a really fun car (the Biz's being an exception), but I hope to have my chance with something fun before I die, or gasoline is no more (if that happens in my lifetime). I would kill for my chance to drive a 1970 Dodge Challenger or a Ferrari F430. Hopefully someday I'll be able to own one and have some fun before its basically extinct. Kids of the 60s and 70s who grew up with my some of my favorite cars can't have all the fun, that's just not fair.

I do hope I'm wrong though. 2020 is a long way away. I hope there's some genius out there making a 500hp engine that gets 40mpg.

Well, no one cares but me.

Now get off my lawn.

Life on the Road

These past 3 weeks have been interesting.

The first week I was in Farmington Hills, which was good because I was able to see my parents and friends who are not readily available. But it required lots of commuting, mostly during rush hour. Rush hour pisses me off, if you remember from earlier posts. Its almost as bad as raping babies. Also, Farmington has quite a few fatties and uggos. That's not acceptable. This city is a bust, luckily I didn't have to spend much time there.

Last week I was in some small town called Ottawa. No, not in America's hat. It was a city in Illinois. I wasn't expecting much from this city, but I received a lot more. First off, there are some hotties in Ottawa, unfortunately though, they were not slutty. The ones who were not hot, were actually fun to work with. Go figure. The staff at that store was amazing and made my week feel like nothing. The guy I was opening the store with was also a riot. It was a good week.

This week is quite a different beast. Whoever's idea it was to open a store on the week of Christmas should have his nuts ripped out by Jesus. I'm going to have to drive back to MI in a fucking snow storm on Christmas Eve. What the fuck! I'm in Kildeer, IL, which is like 30 miles south of Wisconsin. It's going to take me forever to get home. I drove here to provide 1...ONE!...full day of support, the other 2 are going to be half days. Why the fuck am I here? Everything at this store is going to be false...sales, delivery times, the "help" we are giving...because the store is right in the heart of a big shopping district, and guess where everyone goes to shop? Business is going to be way slower after the holidays. They really thought this one through. What the fuck ever though, I get 4 days off starting tomorrow.

There is 2 bad things about being on the road so much. 1) I am putting a shit ton of miles on my leased car (14,000 miles in 7 months). I'm probably going to try to rent a car next time. 2) I'm away from home for too long doing some bullshit work.

There are good things though. I am able to see new cities, whether they suck or not I still get to see new places. I get to do bullshit work (meaning, 3 hours of actual work on a 8-9 hour day) and get paid for it.

When I started "righting" this post, I had a grander vision for it. But now I think that vision is lost. Oh well, I get to come home tomorrow.

Merry Christmas!

What's worst than shoving a rabid howler monkey in your belly button and having it eat its way out your ear?

That would be rush hour traffic. I have seen the evil and torture that is rush hour. Sure, I have been in it before, but today it really irked me. I was on a 4 lane highway. 4 FUCKING LANES! For some reason, the 2 left most lanes actually stopped! I can see the far right stopping from the abundance of people getting on the freeway via the multiple on-ramps, but that's their fault for being in that lane if they have to stop. I can also see the middle right lane stopping, or slowing down tremendously to let others merge. But the left lanes? Seriously?! If people knew how to keep moving without freaking out and hitting everyone, then rush hour would just be normal traffic. I was in and out of lanes for a while, cruising at 70. Its totally possible to drive fucking normally during rush hour, but when you put 1000s of dumbasses on the road at once you get the single biggest headache of the day. God damn, most of them are women.

My scientific and very credible opinion has me estimating that 80 percent of drivers on the road are not worthy of a driver's license. But since the economy relies on car purchases, crashes (insurance premiums), and gas (all you do is waste it in rush hour), you won't see those people off the road anytime soon.

If there was just more common sense to go around, i'd probably only be 5% less pissed off. Fucking women, Asians, black people, and dickheads in SUVs.

FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!