Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Hey George...



"Bush Rationale on Libby Stirs Legal Debate"

In less than 2 hours...

It will officially be the 4th of July. Expect much patriotism tomorrow. I promise. I am going to try as hard as possible to not let politics get in the way of uncomprimising loyalty for these United States.

Interesting thought...

That I just thought up...

Hospitals are like Santa Claus. When you are younger, you see them both more often. As you grow older, you are less likely to need them. Until, of course, you get really old and are likely to need them both more and more.

Kind of.

I mean, it is a stretch, but it still makes sense.

Eye Candy...part Deux for the Day...



I so want to go surfing.



Sexy Pouty Face.



So very dirty. So little time.

I am sure that you are wondering why I posted all three of these Mandy Moore Photos...well, the answer is multi-layered. First, all three are fucking sexy. Secondly, I couldnt decide which one I liked the most. And third, I think I am just addicted to her face.

Why the Michigan Daily is slowly winning me over...

This Opinion article by Kellyn Jackson. "The Vagina Vote". An interesting piece discussing why women should not get behind Hillary Clinton solely because she is a woman. The last line is fucking Priceless.

Quote of the Day...


"That is my principal objection to life, I think: It's too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes."

~Kurt Vonnegut

The Stranger...

Finally brought back their "King of the Nerds" column. I for one, could not be more excited. Today's article, "Pink is not a Color", is akin to my "One cannot touch color" theory. I'll explain that one later.

God Bless America

What are our rights? Really they are hard to define and there are limitations to them, but what are some of those unwritten rights? Ed Anger has a few words on the subject. Also he hits on one of the topics from my Would You Rather entry a few days ago.

Also, if you decide that you would like to take the time to read some sports books this summer listen to Dan Weitzel when he talks about some of the best sports books to read. I'm very interested with the first book on his list, focusing on the year 1941 as the greatest year in sports, focusing on America's past time.

Only in America could you sue for someone stealing the affection of your wife. Although if I was going to make this much money I might sue too.

"You don't get damages just because your Constitutional rights were violated. This isn't the Price Is Right." Hilarious.

Once again, God Bless America, you always keep us on our toes.

The Daily ClusterFuck...

"Eat well, eat more! I cut out the bun so I can have more dogs and veggies with less guilt." Rachel Ray, youre out of your fucking mind.

Fuel Vapor Car. 3 wheels, vapor system, incredible mpg, low emissions, and so God Damn ugly that even enviro-nut Me would never, ever drive the fucker.

"Meredith Kane, 24, was in her first year of teaching at LHS when she was arrested". Guess what for and get a "Good Job." Guess how old the child is and get a "Gold Star".

"According to the 17-year-old, the woman was on top of him when he saw something he didn't expect under her bikini bottom." I call this a Tragi-Comedy.

"In fact, the registered sex offender was naked." With underage girl in his bed. Guess where the 15 year old met him? Thats right, a Christian Chat room.

An interesting story about the restoration of Habeas Corpus.

This Might be Wrong...




But I dont want to be right.

Today in History...


Usually, I post something basely historic, but today is something a little bit different. Today is the anniversary of the Death of Jim Morrison of the Doors in 1971. Yes, this is historic, but it is also sad.

Morrison moved to Paris in March 1971, taking up residence in an apartment at 17 rue Beautreillis. Once in Paris, Morrison lost a great deal of weight and shaved off his beard (although his last photographs show a considerable amount of bloating -- a classic symptom of congestive heart failure). By all accounts he became very depressed while in Paris, but he admired the city's architecture.

He died on July 3, 1971, at age 27, and was found in his bathtub by Courson. Reports stated that he had dried blood around his mouth and nose and large bruising on his chest. Pursuant to French law, no autopsy was performed because the medical examiner found no evidence of foul play. The absence of an official autopsy has left many questions regarding Morrison's cause of death.

In Wonderland Avenue, Danny Sugerman discussed his encounter with Courson after she returned to the United States. According to his account, Courson stated that Morrison had died of a heroin overdose. Courson said that Morrison inhaled the substance because he thought it was cocaine. Sugerman added that Courson had given numerous contradictory versions of Morrison's death, but the majority of fans seem to have accepted the mistaken heroin overdose account. Courson herself died of a heroin overdose a few years later. Like Morrison, she was 27 years old at the time of her death.

Top 10 Television Shows (Part 2)

The time has come for Part 2 of my wonderfully amazing take on television shows. I know you were all on the edge of your seats wondering what would make the Top 5...well wait no longer! I give you the Top 5 television shows...at least in my eyes.

5. That 70's Show (Weekdays on FX and the CW - syndication) :

I wasn't around for the 70's and I hear it was a damn good time indeed. Well here is your chance to live in the 70's with a wide variety of characters and the most stereotypical (yet true) acts of the age. Come if you will to Point Place, Wisconsin and main character Eric Forman's basement. This is where most of the show originates from and usually most episodes begin. The cast of characters (and I mean that in every sense of the word) include Forman himself (Topher Grace as a skinny, somewhat awkward teenager), Stephen Hyde (Danny Masterson as a hard-rocking stoner who lives in Forman's basement and Forman's best friend), Donna Pinciotti (Laura Prepon as Forman's girlfriend and next door neighbor), Michael Kelso (Ashton Kutcher as a narcissistic ladies man), Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis as a wealthy teenager who is preoccupied with how beautiful and bossy she is), and Fez (Wilmer Valderrama as a foreigner from a far away country who is looking to score with anything that moves). Together these group of teenagers, along with their families, go on adventure after adventure figuring out what to do with their lives, hooking up with each other, and being there for each other. The reason I say that it takes you back to the 70's is that there are so many references to Nixon, wars including the Korean War and battle of Iwo Jima, as well as the infamous pot smoking that occurs pretty much anywhere anytime, but usually in Forman's basement. These moments of the show are referred to as "The Circle" in which four of the teens (sometimes with others like Forman's sister or stoner Leo would be there) would be sitting in a circle smoking pot and the camera would move to one of them at a time while they would have a conversation about something totally off the wall. The series ended May 18, 2006 after 8 seasons on Fox. The show has done well in syndication and continues to shine on DVD releases.

4. Scrubs (Thursdays @ 9:30pm on NBC) :

This show, which has become one of my favorites thanks to syndication on Comedy Central, focuses on the lives of several characters working at fictional Sacred Heart Hospital. The main character, John "J.D." Michael Dorian (played by Zach Braff) is the narrator of every episode except seven. He stars as an intern at the beginning before moving onto resident and currently an attending physician at the hospital. J.D. is a nerdy character known by most to be quite the geek. He is best friends with Surgical Attending Physician Christopher Turk (Donald Faison), who is married to Nurse Carla Espinosa (Judy Reyes). Other characters on the show include Dr. Elliot Reid (Sarah Chalke) whom J.D. has been in and out of relationships with throughout the course of the show, Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso (Ken Jenkins) who is the Chief of Medicine at the hospital, the Janitor (Neil Flynn) who is obviously a Janitor who loves to torture and kid with J.D. (appears in every episode but one), and Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox (John McGinley) who is an Attending Physician, Residency Director, J.D.'s mentor, and overall bad ass motherfucker. If you ever want to hear a good rant or just see someone who loves to argue and be cruel watch Dr. Cox call J.D. a girl's name or have him battle the wits with Dr. Kelso. Some guest stars have included Colin Farrell, Tara Reid (J.D.'s girlfriend on and off as well), and Brendan Fraser (Dr. Cox's brother-in-law and best friend). Scrubs will conclude it's seventh and final season this fall.

3. Family Guy (Sundays @ 9pm on Fox) :

Welcome to Quahog, Rhode Island and the home of the Griffin family. Created by Seth MacFarlane (who voices many of the animated characters), the Griffin family consists of father Peter (MacFarlane), mother Lois (Alex Borstein), sons Stewie (MacFarlane) and Chris (Seth Green), daughter Meg (Mila Kunis), and pet dog Brian (MacFarlane). The show revolves around the antics of Peter, his family, and the surrounding Quahog neighborhood. The show constantly references pop culture as well as just simple family daily life, from learning to drive to throwing a birthday party for Stewie. Family Guy is probably best known for it's use of flashbacks and random antics that are brought up by the characters. There are typically about five to seven of these occurrences per episode. Overall between the Griffin family as well as supporting characters like Quagmire, Cleveland, and the Swansons, Family Guy has become a hilarious show that will touch on most anything in the world. They gained fame early on before falling out and being cancelled by Fox a few years back but due to their huge commercial success on DVD release the show was brought back and is here to stay!

2. House (Tuesdays @ 9pm on Fox) :

I was originally going to put this as the number 1 show but the more I thought about it, plus I got a few choice words from Hock last night, I figured that even though this show is the best show on TV at the moment, it is not the greatest television show...at least not yet. House is a medical drama series starring Hugh Laurie as the infamous Dr. Gregory House. Dr. House is the head of Princeton Plainsboro's Department of Diagnostic Medicine who specializes in infectious diseases and nephrology (kidneys). Although those are his specialties he appears to be an expert in almost anything medicine related. Along with his "residents" Dr. House diagnoses and treats patients that no one else can seem to diagnose. The doctors that "help" him with these patients are Dr. Eric Foreman (Omar Epps), Dr. Allison Cameron (Jennifer Morrison), and Dr. Robert Chase (Jesse Spencer). I say "help" because it is shown in every episode that these doctors run the tests, take the medical history, and relay the information to the patients while Dr. House sits back, seemingly already able to diagnose the problem. He is best friends with Dr. James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard), an oncologist who frequently provides aid to Dr. House and, it has been noted, that Dr. Wilson may be House's only true friend. Keeping all of these doctors in line is Dr. Lisa Cuddy (Lisa Edlestein) who is the Dean of Medicine at the hospital. House, as a show, has been the winner of Emmy awards, Peabody awards, Golden Globe awards, and a Screen Actors Guild Award in 2007 for Laurie. It is not hard to see just how special this show is. Dr. House as a character is someone who encompasses a wide range of emotions without every actually showing any of them. He may not show them but his fellow doctors and his patients show them, and Dr. House is always there to tell them exactly what is wrong with why they feel this way. Sometimes it is philosophical and sometimes it is just plain common sense. Either way there is nothing better than sitting in front of my TV and watching Dr. House deal with another mysterious illness and watch him masterfully work to cure it.

1. The Simpsons (Sundays @ 8pm on Fox) :

What other show could you honestly choose in this spot? It is the definition of television history and it is embedded as such in our minds. From the show's debut on December 17, 1989 to present day, the Simpson family has graced our homes every Sunday night. On May 20, 2007 "The Simpsons" ended their eighteenth season with their 400th episode. There is a cast of seemingly thousands on "The Simpsons" regular episodes. The main family, which needs no introduction, includes Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie. They are your typical American family with two pets, three children and a house but they are very atypical in their daily lives. Only on "The Simpsons" could you constantly not show up for work because you feel like doing something else that day. Only on "The Simpsons" could you go every place imaginable (US states and foreign countries) at the drop of a hat when your family is seemingly getting by financially day by day. Only on "The Simpsons" could you be transported into a life ripe with trials and tribulations that most of us are glad we never encounter but still in some way, shape, or form we can relate almost any episode to our individual lives. I am a Simpsons nerd by all interpretations of that phrase and I can honestly say that there have been seemingly endless occurrences where I can relate something that just happened in my life and immediately think back and say that "The Simpsons" touched on that topic in one way or another. In the end, that is the definition of a fantastic show. It is what all shows strive to do and unfortunately not many accomplish. That is the reason that "The Simpsons" has been around for so many years and that is why I believe this show is, by far, the greatest show ever created.

There you have it. The Top 10 Television Shows of my time. You may agree or you may disagree, in the end we all have our own opinions on the subject. There are some that I will agree are not for everyone, but if you watch an episode of any of these shows I dare you not to tell me you cannot see the goodness in what they try to accomplish and why they are found funny or entertaining by most people. Television finds new and exciting ways to entertain us and keep us glued to our seats every day of the week. These shows do that for me every week without fail. Which ones keep you glued? Let us know.

Bar Talk: Top 10 Favorite Bands of All Time...

As stated by Hock, these bands reflect our personal views. I am guessing that most people are going to disagree with my choices for Top 10 Bands but I am willing to deal with that because I dont like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Yep. I am drawing a direct correlation between the kind of music I enjoy and the fact that those sandwiches taste awful to me. That said, I give you my Top 10 Favorite Bands of All Time. Ever.


10-Regina Spektor
Russian-born American singer-songwriter and Pianist. This amazing woman has the talent to make magic out of 4 notes and a solid beat with lyrics that transcend the simplistic rhythm of much of todays music. Her ability to intertwine nonsense with metaphor, gibberish with reality, and crackling notes with extreme high pitch opens doors to my imagination I never knew I could have. I have been lucky enough to see her in concert once and though the crowd was probably 25 strong she gave us everything that any music lover could have hoped for.
Favorite Song: Samson



9-Old 97's
"Alt-Country" band from Dallas, Texas, taking their name from the Johnny Cash song, "Wreck of the Old 97", make their way to this list with inspired songs such as "Bird in a Cage" and "Question". (which is possibly one of my favorite two and a half minutes of music ever.) They rock fairly softly but manage to kick out a few classy riffs, with scratchy vocals and an obvious Texan attitude. Rhett Miller, the band's lead singer, has recently stepped out on his own to record a couple of albums. Though, not as good as when with the band, even these are worth a listen.
Favorite Song: Question



8-Jason Mraz
Singer-songwriter with an amazing ability to cover some of the greatest songs of all time and add just a bit of his own touch, usually producing a better sound than the origional. Much of his music has a bit of twang to it, but the real kicker is his voice. I dont know of too many other singers that have the range that Mraz has, and he proves it every time he belts out "Ave Maria". Saw him live at one of the most awkward concerts of my life, (long story) and once the broad shut up it was fucking amazing. He covered "Tiny Dancer" and rocked it out for about 8 minutes. Beautiful.
Favorite Song: Plane



7-The White Stripes
One of the few amazing things to come from Detroit in a very long time, this dynamic duo is about as amazing as simple rock gets. Everything they do can be summed up with that word, "Simple". What the fuck else are you going to classify these two with? I cannot wait to get my hands on a copy of "Icky Thump", especially since 89x played the entire CD on the radio a few weeks ago. I didnt get to listen to the whole thing, but man, what I did hear was amazing. Always a great band to listen to when you want to get pumped up.
Favorite Song: Seven Nation Army



6-The Beatles
What can I say? I'm a total sucker for "Abbey Road". Definitely would have loved to see this band live. In fact, this probably would have made one of my all time favorite memories...but alas, I am way too young to have seen them. The first Beatles song that I listened to was "Yellow Submarine" and that was the moment that I fell in love with these 4 Brit-Pop artists with a penchant for long hair, beards, and occasionally going shoeless.
Favorite Song: Lady Madonna



5-Incubus
Here is a band that has gone through many changes over the years. Initially sounding very garage-punk mixed with DJ beats and scratches, moving toward experimental rock after recording "Science", and finally coming into their own with the amazing album "Make Yourself". Though my personal favorites are "Morning View" and "Crow to the Left of Murder", every CD that these guys record is amazing in its own right. Never sticking to what they know, they are constantly evolving and pushing the limits of themselves. I have yet to see them live, but as long as they dont cancel this concert I'll be seeing them this July.
Favorite Song: Southern Girl



4-Andrew Bird
American musician, songwriter, whistler, and multi-instrumentalist, Andrew Bird is pretty much the fucking shit. This is one of the few people who I listen to without any inclination to analyze the lyrics. Though, the times that I have done so have yielded some pretty interesting results. His music is difficult to describe but I will say that every note seems hand-picked, as if the man has put his entire being into each and every moment of music. Bird's ability to whistle is nothing to balk at, as he can reach higher notes than most violins. Next time he comes to town, which wont be soon, I plan on seeing him tripped out of my mind.
Favorite Song: A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left



3-Jamie Cullum
This English jazz/pop pianist and singer-songwriter won me over with his CD "Twentysomething" and etched his way into my top 3 by playing the most amazing concert that I have ever been to, and probably ever will be part of. Amazing vocals, an incredible talent with the piano, and the ability to take a 3 minute song and turn it into 15 minutes of mind-blowing awesomeness are what make Cullum one of my absolute favorites.
Favorite Song: Nothing I Do



2-Damien Rice
Irish Folk singer and general all-around awesome dude. Rice and his former cohort Lisa Hannigan have put together some of the most moving music of our current generation. Generally acting as an activist through song, the duo also has an incredibly deep grasp on the human spirit. Every track reminds me of a moment in my life, and because of that I have a deep respect for Rice's storytelling ability. When the two sing together, it reminds me of an ocean.
Favorite Song: 9 Crimes



1-Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
An American musician immersed in the deepest recesses of Americana. An affinity for the spiritual, Harper and his band are the my all time favorite. Their ability to jam along with Harper's acid tongue completely funk my soul. Though I have never seen the band in concert myself, the few DVD's that I have seen were absolutely amazing. It would seem that they put on a great concert, and I can only hope that one day I will be part of the crowd.
Favorite Song: The Gospel




Honorable Mentions: Modest Mouse, Green Day, Architecture in Helsinki, Rage Against the Machine

Eye Candy of the Day...



Brought to you by Skankerella, Lindsay Lohan.

Tuesday...

Today is, in fact, Tuesday. Usually that would mean sitting on my ass for about half of the day, maybe doing some laundry, maybe watching some tube, basically being lazy ass hell and waiting for the Softball extravaganza of the night. However, there will be no game for Kiznox on this fine Tuesday. No sir. No ma'am.

Is there a rain delay?
No.
Is there some sort of apocalyptic nightmare where fire rains down from the sky and hell-fire shoots upward from the ground?
No.

So what could prevent Me from getting to this wonderful game that I so dearly enjoy, yet kinda suck at?
Work.

Yep. Work, that vile and evil institution wherein I go, hate life for a while, feign a love for the customer, and get paid. You know how all of that goes, and I trust that you hate it as much as I do.

So, fellow scanners of the useless and wonderful internet, it is Tuesday and I will not be playing softball tonight. However, next Tuesday shall prove to be something truly special. Well, at least I will be drunk.

Bar Talk: Top 10 Favorite/Best Bands of All Time

So, we were drinking at the bar tonight, watching a bunch of music videos that were played on the TV because Mondays are music video nights and we come up with the idea of a top 10 list of what we think the best bands of all time are. Now, this will be very biased, due to the fact that they are our opinions and our favorite bands, so just bear with us. These are the bands that I can listen to over and over again without getting annoyed with it. Also, this was extremely hard to narrow down to just 10, as there are so many good ones out there. My list is as follows:

10. Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath
Sure, he doesn't speak English very well. Sure, he's a crazy fucker who bit the head off of a bat. None of that matters when he picks up a microphone and starts singing. I just love his voice, it has a soothingly rock style. He brought us Ozzfest, along with some of the best songs ever.
Favorite Song: No More Tears

9. Jimi Hendrix
He was one of the best guitar players ever, in the history of the world. He also had an amazing voice to go along with his insane guitar work. His rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock is absolutely astounding. He definitely died way too young and if he was still alive, he would still be doing some amazing work.
Favorite Song: Purple Haze

8. Nine Inch Nails
Industrial rock shines with NIN. They have some of the best sounding songs I have ever heard. They have a wide range of songs, from the pseudo-ballad "Hurt" to the extremely graphic "Closer" that shows they have the skills to play everything and do it amazingly well.
Favorite Song: Closer

7. Alice In Chains
Another player in the grunge rock movement, they are simply amazing. Jerry Cantrell wails on the guitar, while Lane Staley (another singer to leave us too soon) has the voice that just works. If the new singer can come close to what Staley did, then this band is back.
Favorite Song: No Excuses

6.
The Beatles
A band that my parents grew up with, still remains one of the best ever. They put out album after album and didn't disappoint. The British foursome seems to receive a new fan everyday, even though they have been disbanded for decades.
Favorite Song: While My Guitar Gently Weeps

5. Nirvana
Without Nirvana, there would of been no grunge movement. Kurt Cobain, rest in peace, was a tortured soul and his songs and eventual suicide prove it. But don't let that turn you off from this band. They are one of the greatest 90's bands ever.
Favorite Song: Heart Shaped Box

4. Pink Floyd
Psychedelic rock shines with Pink Floyd. Another band my parents grew up with and another that grew on me. Their album "Dark Side of the Moon" is one of the best albums ever made by any band. Not only can it be synced up with the movie "The Wizard of Oz" but it is an absolutely brilliant album. They are just awesome.
Favorite Song: Time

3. Incubus

Having actually seen this band live, I can guarantee you that they put on one hell of an awesome show. This is one very talented band that, hopefully, will continue to produce albums. If you need some proof that they are an awesome band, pick up a copy of "Make Yourself" or "Morning View" trust me, you won't be disappointed.
Favorite Song: The Warmth

2. Metallica
Metal was brought back because these guys simply rock. They are relentless with their execution of their songs. With the use of dual guitars, along with James Hetfield's vocals, they have produced some of the most amazing sounding songs I've ever heard. When several radio stations have a "mandatory Metallica" spot, you know that this band has to be great.
Favorite Song: Fuel

1. Led Zeppelin
It's freakin' Led Zeppelin. 'Nuff said.
Favorite Song: No Quarter


Honorable mentions: The Doors, 311, Umphrey's McGee, Tool, Aerosmith, and The Police

Monday, July 2, 2007

Simpsons Fan?

Check out these Photos.

Wendys: Causing Heart Attacks and Diabetes for Generations...


In Case you cannot read the ad:

"The Baconator is a mountain of mouthwatering tast thats always fresh and made to order. We put six strips of hickory smoked bacon on top of a 1/2lb of hot, juicy beef with melted American cheese, ketchup, and mayo for a full-flavored hamburger that wont be denied. Were bringin on the Baconator."

Also, the fucker can SENSE FEAR!

One of the Best Jobs, EVER...

This guy with the Mullet:



Works as a "Mood Director" at the Venetion in Vegas. "Breast misting is a delicate art."



"'It feels so good,' said one, who refused to give her name." then later on, "'Oh, please,' the woman continued, cupping the underside of her breasts to prop them up."

Sure, it isn't working in porn...but you get to mist tits! For a living! How awesome is that?!?!?!

So the News...Its just getting weird...

Would you serve this lady at your drive-thru?


Apparently McDonald's didn't Mcwant to. Now this Armless Mcwonder is suing their Mcpants off.

Lesson: When you are a teacher, showing students a picture of your son is just fine. Whipping out your Motorola and flashing a 17 year old girl your floppy 51 year old shrivel-dick is not.

About a week ago I wrote a post about the lack of actual protesting that goes on in these here United States. Dog lovers, this is not what I fucking meant.

In the Market for a new Town?


Bridgeville, California, population near 30, on sale for a bargain price of 1.3$ million. "(Bridgeville) is kind of looking pretty shabby again. It's pretty sad." Said one resident. Yeah, this looks like a great place to raise a hell-mouth.

And if California isn't your cup of tea, how about...


Albert, Texas, population of 4, (which is actually a fucking exaggeration) on sale for a rip-you-the-fuck-off price of 2.5$ million. "It is for a guy who has it all, but can't brag to his friends that he owns a town, so he needs to own a town," says Bobby Cave, possibly the dumbest investor in the state.

Reason to Leave Michigan #875...


The Heidelberg Project.

Transformers: Robots in da skies...


The highly anticipated Michael "let this make my career" Bay flick, Transformers, will hit theaters on July 3rd. (that's tomorrow, folks) Sure, the lines for the midnight showings are going to be packed. Sure, the theaters are probably going to be bursting with 30 year old fan boys, early twenties Me's who can remember enough about the series to salivate when Optimus Prime makes his debut, and fucking teenagers there because, well, because they want to see fast cars, robots fighting robots, and shit blow up.

Let me tell you, crowd of thirsty comic book nerds, CGI fan boys, and teeny boppers: Your thirst will be quenched. Prepare to be showered by everything you could truly hope for in a movie of this magnitude. The action is fast, and director Bay wastes no time getting to it. The storyline is easy to follow, yet relentless in every attempt to keep the audience glued to the screen. You have your obvious teenage love story between Shia LeBeouf and Megan "Dear God, could I please have just a taste of her perfect lips?" Fox, coupled with your machismo soldier with a wife and baby who he has "yet to hold" so the homecoming will be extra special if he makes it, and your Government conspiracy that even the Secretary of Defense doesn't know about.

The battles are huge. The explosions are grand. The movie has a refined sexiness that is only helped, not controlled, by Megan Fox. The transforming of the vehicles into their alter-egos is jaw dropping and streamlined, making for some incredible action sequences involving rockets. The character of the Autobots themselves is just what you would expect with a modern day style. Bumblebee was my favorite, by far.

The camera work was magnificently done. Bay's eye for action was phenomenal, giving each shot enough attention that the angles themselves were just as impressive as what was going on in the movie. Bay has dropped the jittery, shaky camera in favor of a more straightforward approach, which really made the movie flow. Perhaps the magic of CGI allowed him to calm down the camera approach, perhaps it was the enormous budget, perhaps it was the amount of pressure he had to make this movie spectacular. I have no idea which one it was, but this movie lived up to all of my expectations.

As with any movie, however, there are complaints. Nothing is perfect, and as such, nothing is without flaws. Let me rattle these off as quickly as possible because that is really how little they affect the overall movie. First, it was a little cheesy. Of course, what else would you expect? This really doesn't hurt the movie, because, well, the original was cheesy as hell and that seemed to work out just fine. Secondly, Megan Fox was not in a bathing suit once. Not once. Why the hell not? That needs to happen in the sequel. Lastly, there is one scene involving a motorcycle and guns that just irritated me. Yeah, its fucking sweet, but still...irritating. And yes, there will be a sequel.

Overall, this was an amazing movie worth your time, your money, and your awe.

4 1/2 Transforming Vehicles out of 5.

Today in History...


The Lee Resolution was an act of the Second Continental Congress declaring the Thirteen Colonies to be independent of the Kingdom of Great Britain. It was proposed by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia on June 7, 1776. Delegates from 12 colonies voted to pass it; however, delegates from New York believed that they had not been sufficiently empowered as representatives so they abstained (New York's vote for independence passed on July 9). Although it was not simultaneously supported by all of the colonies, it was passed by the Congress on July 2 and formed the core of the United States Declaration of Independence, adopted on July 4.

It read:
Resolved, That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved.
That it is expedient forthwith to take the most effectual measures for forming foreign Alliances.
That a plan of confederation be prepared and transmitted to the respective Colonies for their consideration and approbation.


However, few Americans today remember the Lee Resolution, and July 4, the date of the Declaration of Independence, is celebrated as Independence Day.

Todays "Oh Man I can Barely Keep from touching Myself"...


Brought to you by the Eye Candy of Transformers. Which was sweet. Full review soon.

Would you Rather? A Concerned Response...

First, let me begin by saying "Hi Everybody!" It has been a long weekend of boozin', bruisin', and Transformer cruisin'. Clearly I was not near a computer all weekend because my Obsessive Compulsive Posting came to a complete standstill. Well, it is time to get back into the swing of things...

Nice topic, Rambo. Definitely an interesting source of discussion...which brings me to this post.

Question 4 refers to younger brother or Older Sister. You have to go with Older Sister. Why? Dude, you get your ass kicked by a younger kid, let alone your brother, and have that held over your head for the rest of your life. You would totally have to expect that to be something that would come up in a speech at your wedding. Now, your Older Sister kicks your ass and you always get to pull the "couldn't hurt a girl" argument. That is the trump card that saves you from ridicule. Yeah, everyone will know the truth...but no one can truly call you on it.

Question 6...the Alba/Fergie conundrum. Really? Alba on a bed of nails? Unless you are some crazy Tibetan Monk with that amazing ability to shut off pain sensors in your body you totally have to go with Fergie. It would only be the one time, so why ruin the rest of your sex life for a chance to nail Alba? Fergie may be ugly, but you can always close your eyes and think of Alba. And don't forget to smell the roses.

Question 7 was a thinker. Aquaman or the Heart kid. Hmmm...I think you are completely correct on that one...cause Aquaman is gayer than Robin. And I don't mean any of the new attempts for Robin to be cool. No. I mean Adam West's bitch sidekick. That kind of gay.

And the All Important Cell Phone vs Car debate: Fuck Cars. Cell phones are a total necessity. At least, they are one helluva a lot more important to me than a vehicle is. Why do I say that? Do I not realize that I live in an area with absolutely zero public transit? Yes. Yes I do. And I still say that communication devices are more important in the long run. I could call a cab. Hell, I cannot wait to live in an area where I can call a cab or hop on a bus or hitch a ride on a subway. Fuck cars...right in their fume-belching exhaust pipes.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Would you rather...

I found the Weekly WYR (would you rather) on College Humor just now and figured it might be fun to let you take a look at it and go a little in depth as to which I would choose. These questions were posted by random people who emailed the author of this article. I will only refer to the person who posted the question if they annoy me.

Would you rather...

1. Be blind or have the hiccups for the rest of your life?

Wow this is a tough one to start off with. I guess you would adjust to being blind and you could still do a lot of things, although in a different way but having the hiccups all day long while your trying to eat and drink would eventually give you pain I would think. I get the hiccups sometimes and if it falls in the middle of me eating or drinking something I could choke or have some chest pain from it. All in all I would obviously rather be neither, but I will go with blind.

2. Hit every stop light and know that you will never be in an accident or always hit greens and know that someday you will be in a terrible crash?

Let me first say that I've been in a terrible crash and I would never like for that to happen again. If the decision is simply based off hitting green or red lights, which I would only love it to be so simple, then I would have to say that I have to say green lights but with hesitation. Hitting red lights is not always a bad thing but if I had to hit every single one of them for the rest of my life...ouch. However, that ouch is nothing compared to what may happen to you should you get into a terrible accident (could be nothing or could be severe). In light of that I am going to choose hitting red lights.

3. Have no teeth or no ears?

I'm going to say no teeth because I am going to translate this conundrum by saying that you saying I cannot have teeth would be defined to me as no REAL teeth. In light of this new evidence I say no teeth because I'm just gonna go get false ones! Take that you bastard teeth! How do you feel now? Ears are getting laid and you are not! HA!

4. Get beat up in front of your friends by your younger brother or your older sister?

No brainer here. You get beat up by your younger brother as I am a guy writing this to you. Any one of us know that if you got your ass kicked by a girl, let alone your younger sister, as a guy you would be ridiculed until the day you die. Thank you but I can get ridiculed enough as it is without even having a sister.

5. Have a permanent light spot in your right eye or a permanent ringing in your ears?

This one is a little different too. I have a ringing every so often...don't ask why...but if it was permanent I might just go crazy. You would get used to either one of these problems relatively quickly I would think as they are both minor inconveniences to your daily life. In the end I am going to go with the ringing because I don't wanna mess around with my eyes by any means.

6. Have sex with Jessica Alba on a bed of nails or have sex with Fergie on a bed of roses?

Jessica Alba...hands down...if I get to fuck that woman I don't care where we are...next question. When is that gonna happen? Now? That would be super.

7. Be Aquaman or the kid with Heart from Captain Planet?

Ummm...I'm not getting laid either way...so kid with the power of "heart." Why you ask? Fuck the sea. I don't like it so why would I wanna talk to it?

8. Be unemployed the rest of your life or have to go to college the rest of your life?

I know that unemployment is extremely tempting and going to college is not. However I'm wondering if they are not one in the same because a lot of people who go to college do not work because they are devoted to their college work...or they're spoiled and their parents pay for everything. Unemployment is doable if you can get unemployment checks and live off the government as a shit load of people in this country do but I believe I could and would be extremely uber-bored for the rest of my life (unless I had a family to take care of). However, college is a way to constantly better yourself but I think if you did it for the rest of your life you would surely go absolutely insane and your head would explode. So I'm going with unemployment and I'll take my chances with Uncle Sam.

9. Have a younger sister who is really hot or really ugly?

I think if I had a younger sister who was really hot I would worry about her too much but the same would go for the ugly sister, only in different ways. The hot sister I would have to worry about all those bastard teenagers (that I once was) ogling over every her step and every time she bends over to pick something up. I would trust her to handle herself but I also open myself up to what I do with some of my friends...the atypical "Your sister is fuckin' hot dude!" Now if my sister was ugly I would worry she would be shunned by people for the way she looked because during those teenage years especially kids are extremely cruel to someone they deem different or unworthy. She could find herself someone but when I think ugly sister I think Meg from Family Guy and the shit she goes through. So the answer is hot sister due to the fact that the reason the other sister is ugly is because it's Meg's fault.

10. Have chair demolishing fart explosions or always have gas and never fart?

First I say, "Jesus Christ" to Kevin for his marvelous depiction of such a wonderful daily occurrence, especially when labeled "chair demolishing." Always having gas and never farting is something that I dealt with when I had abdominal surgery and that was not fun at all. There was a moment that I was in so much pain it was unbearable. Knowing that feeling is just as bad, if not close to worse, than when I had my kidney stones I think you know what I'm picking.

11. Be nicknamed "The Big Sticky" or "OafLoaf"?

What? Tyler are you nicknamed OafLoaf? I hope so because that is the stupidest nickname ever and this is a stupid question, so good for you. You have become another reason that aliens should come down and enslave all the dumbass people like you.

12. Never be able to use a cell phone or never be able to drive a car?

This one is pretty easy because it comes down to simple common sense. A cell phone is not a necessity in life, it is a privilege. A car is a necessity and a privilege. Need I say more? You have to get from point A to point B and, God willing, back to point A with a car and that cell phone you don't have isn't going to make one damn bit of difference to you getting there. I agree that cell phones can be extremely useful for idiots like me who don't ever know where they are going but at least I have a car to get there in.

The "I'm probably a virgin" question:

13. Have a magic war versus Dumbledore from Harry Potter or Gandolf from Lord of the Rings?

I love both of these movie franchises and I believe that I can give you a legitimate answer as to why I choose what I choose. I love Gandolf, he is my favorite LOTR character by far but he cannot compete with Dumbledore. Gandolf has his staff but I cannot compete with the power that the wand of Dumbledore would pack. I have seen far to many spells from Dumbledore that could honestly render me helpless as an infant. Gandolf is not the type of wizard that is meant to dominate in a battle and I believe Dumbledore is...and I think we'll see that in the next few Harry Potter movies.

Well I hope you enjoyed this little take on "Would you rather." Feel free to comment and let me know your different takes on the topics and let me know what you would do.

The morning after...

Hooray for partying, beer pong tournaments, loads of people getting hammered, and a note in the morning saying "Find the bodies. Find the weapons. Cover it up." Hilarious.

In other news, this blog has covered the Chris Benoit story in pretty good detail. If you haven't heard about this story you've been under a rock for a few weeks now and you've missed out on what has been a total macabre story. So far the best article I have read on the topic was a little biopic entry found here on ESPN.com. It doesn't go into great detail about what happened that night, but it tells all of us what we already were thinking about who this person was and the impact it has had on this nation already.

Quote of the day from Saturday's Business section of the Detroit News (in regards to the new iPhone):

"The best part is when my friend walked up to the phone and said, 'Oh my God this is sweet.'"