The Daily ClusterFuck...

Which has really been more like the "When I get around to it" ClusterFuck.

Death by potato: "Investigators say a potato lauching device was filled with an explosive powder and blew up when it was ingnited."

California bans RFID tagging of employees by their employers. "The devices, as small as a grain of rice, can be used by employers to identify workers." Did anybody even realize that this kind of shit was on the market yet?

Tony Snow is stepping down as Press Secretary as of September 14th. He will be replaced by Dana Perino. I would make some snide comment here, but it is due to complications from colon cancer. Good luck, Mr Snow.

In other news, Dana Perino is kind of sexy:

Appalachian State 34, No. 5 Michigan 32.
Appalachian State 34, No. 5 Michigan 32.
Appalachian State 34, No. 5 Michigan 32.
Appalachian State 34, No. 5 Michigan 32.

Ladies, hang on to them ovaries. Unless, of course, you want to be even more batshit crazy.

15 year old wins Worst Baby-sitter award: "she had been smoking a joint with the child while baby-sitting". But only because she didn't share.

MSNBC compiled a list of the Top 5 Worst Game-Based Movies...Since I cannot follow the link that they provide, I can only assume that they put the Mario Brothers movie on it. Well, Fuck them. Mario rocked.

The problem with committing suicide at Burning Man is that it can take a couple hours and a good amount of stink before those stoners realize you're not doing a performance art piece.

"I asked, 'Is this toddler driving your car?' She said, 'He's a good driver.'" The kicker? She was wasted.

Genius Award of the Day: "A high school student who tricked football fans from a crosstown rival school into holding up squares of construction paper at a stadium that together spelled out, "We Suck,'' was suspended for the prank, students said."

The Boy Scouts of America oust 1 Scout leader every two days for child abuse. What the hell, America? What the hell?

Best. News. Ever. "White House pranksters wrapped Rove's Jaguar in plastic wrap on the private driveway next to the West Wing. Rove's car is easily recognizable because of its "I love Barack Obama" bumper sticker and the twin stuffed-animal eagles on the trunk. Oh, and there's a stuffed-animal elephant on the hood."

Today's "Inappropriate relationship with student" story brought to you by HYPNOTOAD.

"A "Spider-man" suit that enables its wearer to scale vertical walls like the comic and movie superhero could one day be a reality, according to a study." A wet dream is also possible in my near future.

Long ass story that basically says South Park will be on the air until at least 2011. Awesome.