Saturday, May 12, 2007

To the Manufacturer of seat belts...

What is your deal? Who came up with the automatic seat belt dealie? And why, why would they have thought that the constant motion of the seatbelt, that horrid grind of metal and plastic with each passing day, would actually be a good thing?
And why is this bothering me so much?

My seatbelt decided to commit suicide last night...although, as it turns out, it was only in a self-induced mild coma. Still, the very idea, the 12 hours that I spent wondering if I would have to drive my car with a tight strap across my chest so tight that I could barely breathe, the very idea of all that just hurled me into a completely dark place filled with rage and, well, over-indulgent pissyness.
This morning I woke up and did my usual nothing-until-I-have-to routine but had to do it a bit quicker. I was slightly determined to fix the damn seat belt or at least smash the shit out of it to avoid having to sit like a mormon whenever I drive. (and yes, I really do think that mormons sit weird. Do not ask me why, it just seems to make sense to me.) No matter how much swearing and venom I spewed at that damn seatbelt, it just did not seem to want to work. I hit, squeezed, shook, and pounded it to the point that both my fists hurt and I was nearly out of saliva from all of my rage-filled shouting. Finally, as if the fucker was taunting me, I decided to give up and slid ever-so-awkwardly behind the belt and put my keys in the ignition.
So yeah, my seatbelt works now.
I have no idea how, and I think it was just effin with me, but it works.

Also, I need to do my laundry soon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

well i know that you didnt fix it, you might of hit it back on track, but you DIDNT fix it!! Now i completely agree with AOTS, the internet is just a place for people that think that they have an opinion fill the imaginary sky with stupid shit. well congrats on more internet pollution that isn't porn.