Spooky Sexy, or Sexy Spooky?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
House episodes
I just finished watching Tuesday's episode of "House" Kiznox and at the end they mentioned, not really to my surprise, that all the episodes for this year are available online at Fox. com....catch up and be happy! Yeah for technology!!
Guitar Hero 3
After playing it for 3 days, I have come to the conclusion that it is not much different than its predecessors. There is an obvious difference from the two because of the change of development teams, but that doesn't hinder the game that much. The thing I'm most disappointed about is the track list. Its a sequel with less tracks? That doesn't make sense. And where the fuck is Slither?! I heard that song on the fucking commercial! How is it not in the game?! Despite its shortcomings, its still the same old mindless fun. Cult of Personality fucking rocks!
8 out of 10
8 out of 10
I Feel Like all I do are Random Posts...
but, really, what would you expect from me?
Anyway, I have spent the last few hours drinking and reading and listening to music, (a lot of house music, Oakenfield, and some reefer madness soundtrack) and thinking about things in general.
What have I learned???
Thinking and drinking do not mix. They only serve as a tonic of depressants.
What have I been thinking about???
Well, none of it is really worthwhile, I am sure, to anyone else. Mostly, wondering what or where my place in life is. Partially, wondering why it is I have a huge tendency to attach myself to people that do not need attachment. (no explanation on that one, just someone I cannot get out of my mind) Moderately, are the Bengals going to do N-E-THING this season? Or, are they just going to be a huge disappointment? Slightly, does anything matter? Is anything relevant? Worthwhile? Dominatingly, when is this weird bout of complete and total "downness" end?
What do I plan to do about the rest of the night???
Probably drink quite a bit more, alone, in my room, and listen to music. Perhaps tool around on the internet. Perhaps continue to read this amazing comic that I have been given. Perhaps just lose myself in a mix of nonlinear thought and pretentious house beats, all the while my stomach craves some fucking delicious eggs.
Whats with the eggs???
I made some amazingly sobering eggs this morning at work. But it did not stop there. No, no. I also managed to fill the plate with toast and hash browns and bacon. The interesting part? There are a couple, actually. First, I seasoned the hell out of those eggs. Mmmmm. Second, the place I work does not sell typical hash browns. The browns that I mad were actually sliced, diced, and made absolutely amazing by moi. How were they sobering? I got really drunk last night. REALLY drunk. Force puke off of beer, drunk. Yeah. And when I made those, I felt better. And I felt especially better after I ate my damn breakfast. 'Cause I had it my way. They way it should be.
Why is this guy still typing???
Mostly because I would like to think that the random things that I post are in insight into my head. Partly because I am bored and "Stupid and Irate: Tokyo Slide" is on in the other room. Slightly because I am too drunk to continue to read.
What do you think of John Edwards speach about New Orleans???
Pretty lazy, and definitely lame. To hell with it.
What kind of scented candles do you like???
The vanilla one in the room seems, and has always seemed, to be an adequate smelling candle. However, I am partial to anything that smells like oranges or exes. Is that sad?
How is it that you are not having any sex lately???
Really? Is it not obvious?
What is your favorite color???
This is an interesting question to ask because of the multiple levels that I get to answer this on. I have a tendency to answer: Black. Truth is, I absolutely love red. Why do I say black? Because it used to be my favorite color until Ryan road filled up with black Escalades and ruined it for me. But this answer does not end here. Oh no. You are not getting off that easily. My absolute favorite color is actually a combination of two polar opposites: I'm Fucked Up on 'Shrooms Black and White. Dont really know what it is like to be colorblind. I can imagine that it would not be all that fun. Yet, when I am trippin balls and I start seeing everything like a sitcom from the fifies. Awesome.
Are you going to ever fucking stop this nonsense?
Yep.
Anyway, I have spent the last few hours drinking and reading and listening to music, (a lot of house music, Oakenfield, and some reefer madness soundtrack) and thinking about things in general.
What have I learned???
Thinking and drinking do not mix. They only serve as a tonic of depressants.
What have I been thinking about???
Well, none of it is really worthwhile, I am sure, to anyone else. Mostly, wondering what or where my place in life is. Partially, wondering why it is I have a huge tendency to attach myself to people that do not need attachment. (no explanation on that one, just someone I cannot get out of my mind) Moderately, are the Bengals going to do N-E-THING this season? Or, are they just going to be a huge disappointment? Slightly, does anything matter? Is anything relevant? Worthwhile? Dominatingly, when is this weird bout of complete and total "downness" end?
What do I plan to do about the rest of the night???
Probably drink quite a bit more, alone, in my room, and listen to music. Perhaps tool around on the internet. Perhaps continue to read this amazing comic that I have been given. Perhaps just lose myself in a mix of nonlinear thought and pretentious house beats, all the while my stomach craves some fucking delicious eggs.
Whats with the eggs???
I made some amazingly sobering eggs this morning at work. But it did not stop there. No, no. I also managed to fill the plate with toast and hash browns and bacon. The interesting part? There are a couple, actually. First, I seasoned the hell out of those eggs. Mmmmm. Second, the place I work does not sell typical hash browns. The browns that I mad were actually sliced, diced, and made absolutely amazing by moi. How were they sobering? I got really drunk last night. REALLY drunk. Force puke off of beer, drunk. Yeah. And when I made those, I felt better. And I felt especially better after I ate my damn breakfast. 'Cause I had it my way. They way it should be.
Why is this guy still typing???
Mostly because I would like to think that the random things that I post are in insight into my head. Partly because I am bored and "Stupid and Irate: Tokyo Slide" is on in the other room. Slightly because I am too drunk to continue to read.
What do you think of John Edwards speach about New Orleans???
Pretty lazy, and definitely lame. To hell with it.
What kind of scented candles do you like???
The vanilla one in the room seems, and has always seemed, to be an adequate smelling candle. However, I am partial to anything that smells like oranges or exes. Is that sad?
How is it that you are not having any sex lately???
Really? Is it not obvious?
What is your favorite color???
This is an interesting question to ask because of the multiple levels that I get to answer this on. I have a tendency to answer: Black. Truth is, I absolutely love red. Why do I say black? Because it used to be my favorite color until Ryan road filled up with black Escalades and ruined it for me. But this answer does not end here. Oh no. You are not getting off that easily. My absolute favorite color is actually a combination of two polar opposites: I'm Fucked Up on 'Shrooms Black and White. Dont really know what it is like to be colorblind. I can imagine that it would not be all that fun. Yet, when I am trippin balls and I start seeing everything like a sitcom from the fifies. Awesome.
Are you going to ever fucking stop this nonsense?
Yep.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Eye Candy of the Day
This one's for all you breeders. Enjoy, boys.
Brought to you by Carmen the Transsexual, also known as Brittany Daniel
Brought to you by Carmen the Transsexual, also known as Brittany Daniel
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Weekly WYR
Hello my friends. It is that time of the week again! Streeter and the friends at College Humor have given us some new material this week to look at and analyze. Ready? Let's go.
Would You Rather...
Cure cancer but have your archenemy get the credit or be in complete control of your archenemy's bowels and not cure cancer?
This sounds so sinister. How many of us actually have an archenemy defined? That probably is a discussion for another time but if I did have an archenemy I would find it extremely funny to have control of his bowels but how can you possibly turn down curing cancer? I mean the world may give him the spotlight and the credit but I never liked having the spotlight and all that on me anyway. If the people whom I love and care for know the truth that is all that matters to me.
Bang Jessica Alba or bang Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan at the same time?
Well, I am picking Jessica Alba on this for several reasons. I don't dislike the idea of having two chickees at once but when those chickees have the chance to give me a smorgisboard of disease and, possibly, alcoholism from just being in the room with them. Also, it's friggin Jessica Alba people!
Go Bear-Blasting or Hump-Cating?
I have absolutely no idea what these are. I even tried to look them up. I believe I could make a WYR question if I made up words too!
HaVe To AlWaYs TyPe LiKe ThIs or only be able to type with your thumbs?
I'm sorry but if I had to type like the former part of this question I may just end up throwing my keyboard, and my sanity, out of the window. Typing with your thumb may be a little awkward but eventually I would get used to it. To top it all off, at least your typing still looks professional and not like you had a stroke trying to do it.
Drink a gallon of hot dog juice or take a shot of toe sweat?
Gross...absolutely gross either way you look at it. Hot dog juice really doesn't have any taste to it (really) but just a watery taste...but toe sweat? It's only a shot though...A gallon is a little much to ask of any liquid not usually drinkable.
Only be able to move around by dancing or only be able to communicate through singing?
Well I have always said I am too white to dance (mostly because I have no rhythm what so ever) but you would think I would be a better one since I drink but hey. I wouldn't mind communicating through singing at all, might be kinda cool.
Live in a world filled with Jerry Seinfeld impersonators or live in a world filled with Borat impersonators?
This isn't really a WYR question, it's a simple fact that we have way to many fuckin Borat impersonators as it is in this world...and to all of them I say "Shut the fuck up!"
Never have any form of sex again or have a sex change and have all the sex you want?
You know what, why would I ever do anything that would neglect me from ever having any type of sex again. I guess I would be used to it since it's been a hell of a long time but are you kidding me? Rambo Dakota would become Roxanne Dakota....whatev, let's all get laid now...sound good? Thought so.
Be insane in the membrane or insane in the brain?
I would say the brain. Why screw with the membrane crap when you can just go full fledged insane in the entirety of your brain? If I'm going to be crazy and insane I am going to be totally mental.
Lose your small toe or never go online again?
I do not know what I would do with a portion of my life is not for the infinite amount of things I can do online. Really ask yourself...how often do you go online compared to how often you use your small toe. I think the answer is pretty simple really.
Have every day be cold and rainy or live in a Motel 6 for the rest of your life?
That's an odd one. Cold and rainy just sucks even for a day or two in a row let alone everyday of my life. That would just get downright depressing. Good thing about a Motel 6 would be you never have to change bed sheets or wash towels again...that's a plus. Either way really I think you're screwed so the Motel 6 is the lesser of two evils in my eye.
Die at 35 with a quick painless death or die at 70 but suffer a chronic illness for 30 years?
What's the chronic illness? Tell me what it is and I'll tell you my answer. Let me hear what kind of illnesses you guys think you could live with chronically for 30 years. I'd be interested to know. COPD? Chronic Bronchitis?
Would You Rather...
Cure cancer but have your archenemy get the credit or be in complete control of your archenemy's bowels and not cure cancer?
This sounds so sinister. How many of us actually have an archenemy defined? That probably is a discussion for another time but if I did have an archenemy I would find it extremely funny to have control of his bowels but how can you possibly turn down curing cancer? I mean the world may give him the spotlight and the credit but I never liked having the spotlight and all that on me anyway. If the people whom I love and care for know the truth that is all that matters to me.
Bang Jessica Alba or bang Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan at the same time?
Well, I am picking Jessica Alba on this for several reasons. I don't dislike the idea of having two chickees at once but when those chickees have the chance to give me a smorgisboard of disease and, possibly, alcoholism from just being in the room with them. Also, it's friggin Jessica Alba people!
Go Bear-Blasting or Hump-Cating?
I have absolutely no idea what these are. I even tried to look them up. I believe I could make a WYR question if I made up words too!
HaVe To AlWaYs TyPe LiKe ThIs or only be able to type with your thumbs?
I'm sorry but if I had to type like the former part of this question I may just end up throwing my keyboard, and my sanity, out of the window. Typing with your thumb may be a little awkward but eventually I would get used to it. To top it all off, at least your typing still looks professional and not like you had a stroke trying to do it.
Drink a gallon of hot dog juice or take a shot of toe sweat?
Gross...absolutely gross either way you look at it. Hot dog juice really doesn't have any taste to it (really) but just a watery taste...but toe sweat? It's only a shot though...A gallon is a little much to ask of any liquid not usually drinkable.
Only be able to move around by dancing or only be able to communicate through singing?
Well I have always said I am too white to dance (mostly because I have no rhythm what so ever) but you would think I would be a better one since I drink but hey. I wouldn't mind communicating through singing at all, might be kinda cool.
Live in a world filled with Jerry Seinfeld impersonators or live in a world filled with Borat impersonators?
This isn't really a WYR question, it's a simple fact that we have way to many fuckin Borat impersonators as it is in this world...and to all of them I say "Shut the fuck up!"
Never have any form of sex again or have a sex change and have all the sex you want?
You know what, why would I ever do anything that would neglect me from ever having any type of sex again. I guess I would be used to it since it's been a hell of a long time but are you kidding me? Rambo Dakota would become Roxanne Dakota....whatev, let's all get laid now...sound good? Thought so.
Be insane in the membrane or insane in the brain?
I would say the brain. Why screw with the membrane crap when you can just go full fledged insane in the entirety of your brain? If I'm going to be crazy and insane I am going to be totally mental.
Lose your small toe or never go online again?
I do not know what I would do with a portion of my life is not for the infinite amount of things I can do online. Really ask yourself...how often do you go online compared to how often you use your small toe. I think the answer is pretty simple really.
Have every day be cold and rainy or live in a Motel 6 for the rest of your life?
That's an odd one. Cold and rainy just sucks even for a day or two in a row let alone everyday of my life. That would just get downright depressing. Good thing about a Motel 6 would be you never have to change bed sheets or wash towels again...that's a plus. Either way really I think you're screwed so the Motel 6 is the lesser of two evils in my eye.
Die at 35 with a quick painless death or die at 70 but suffer a chronic illness for 30 years?
What's the chronic illness? Tell me what it is and I'll tell you my answer. Let me hear what kind of illnesses you guys think you could live with chronically for 30 years. I'd be interested to know. COPD? Chronic Bronchitis?
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
In the Right Frame of Mind...
especially for listening to music. And, the computer is staring right the fuck back at me...holy shit. Good. Anyway, I just want to say how much fun I am having listening to muse at the moment. Because, like I had said, I am completely in the right frame of mind...
Movie Quote of the Day
"Can you imagine what it feels like to have someone sit you down and tell you that you're dying? The gravity of that, hmm? Then the clock's ticking for you. In a split second your awe is cracked open. You look at things differently - smell things differently. You savor everything be it a glass of water or a walk in the park. But most people have the luxury of not knowing when that clock's going to go off. And the irony of it is that that keeps them from really living their life. It keeps them drinking that glass of water but never really tasting it. "
- Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) in Saw II
Question
Would anyone be interested, I'm just taking a shot, at doing a little spin-off of College Humor's Weekly Sports thing? I know that most of you guys are not into sports in the depth that I am but I figured I'd ask. Here is what I'm talking about. Let me know but if not I can always do it with someone and just post it.
Get me to the church on time...
So Sian's wedding is this weekend. EEK!
It's a little insane - I feel like I basically have no idea what's going on during the ceremony or anything. I guess that's the point of having a rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure most of you know about this already, but if anyone managed to get out of work on sunday, we're having a luncheon/finish the kegs party at my house on sunday at around noon. All are welcome, just let me know!
A little business. I trust you guys, but JUST IN CASE, I have to say this.
Please do not leave the reception to smoke pot
Please do not get so drunk that you throw up or piss on something in the church
those are the only rules. Otherwise, get shit-faced, have a blast, and let's make this the DAVIES EXTRAVAGANZA OF THE CENTURY SO FAR!
Anyway, I'm lookin forward to seeing everyone, and you guys are great!
Cottonmouth out
It's a little insane - I feel like I basically have no idea what's going on during the ceremony or anything. I guess that's the point of having a rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure most of you know about this already, but if anyone managed to get out of work on sunday, we're having a luncheon/finish the kegs party at my house on sunday at around noon. All are welcome, just let me know!
A little
Please do not leave the reception to smoke pot
Please do not get so drunk that you throw up or piss on something in the church
those are the only rules. Otherwise, get shit-faced, have a blast, and let's make this the DAVIES EXTRAVAGANZA OF THE CENTURY SO FAR!
Anyway, I'm lookin forward to seeing everyone, and you guys are great!
Cottonmouth out
Street Fighter 4!!
Yeah, you read that right. Capcom is making Street Fighter 4! From the looks of the trailer, it should be nothing less than amazing.
Monday, October 22, 2007
hmmmm
If I don't figure out why I've been so aggressive soon, I might flip out. I will probably destroy or kill something. seriously. I've punched a lot of things in my apartment in the last oh... thirty minutes. I think I have anger management problems
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
YAY
A song I like by M.I.A. was on heroes when the girl was doing double dutch. I thought I was going crazy (drunk) at first but it was totally the song I thought... rock on
p.s.
I still would do bad things to milo ventimiglia.
p.s.
I still would do bad things to milo ventimiglia.
Alternative Eye Candy of the Week
Brought to you by Peter Petrelli a.k.a. Milo Ventimiglia.
p.s. Milo is a great name
Can we NOT go there Kiznox?
I don't care if you have different ideals than Rambo - I've been aware of the fact that the two of you agree on, well... nothing... for the entire time I've known you both. I don't believe that this blog is here to berate each other. I'm torn between both of your opinions on this matter being both a regular church goer and an adamant agnostic. But to be fair I held my tongue when you wrote your terribly chauvinistic post about breast feeding because we are entitled to our OPINIONS. Just because you disagree, does not make it incorrect. I love this blog because it makes me feel like we're still all close together. If you want to, talk about your own opinions on the subject (I promise I will not judge). Don't just talk about how his beliefs imply that he has wasted his life. Religion can help a great many people find meaning and hope - that may not be the case for me, but it's what has made many people live reasonably good lives for the last 5000 years. Some people don't need it - some do. that does not make any difference as long as the end result is a positive one.
And so I'm inviting you. Write your next post about what I'm sure this will make you want to. I love you despite of our disagreements. Show me that you want to be a journalist, not that you want to be disagreeable!
RAWR!!!
COTTONMOUTH IS AGGRESSIVE.
And kinda horny now, strangely enough. That's weird
And so I'm inviting you. Write your next post about what I'm sure this will make you want to. I love you despite of our disagreements. Show me that you want to be a journalist, not that you want to be disagreeable!
RAWR!!!
COTTONMOUTH IS AGGRESSIVE.
And kinda horny now, strangely enough. That's weird
I was confused and now I'm pissed
From MSNBC:
Emotions do not affect cancer survival.
WASHINGTON - People who are depressed about their cancer are no more likely to die than people who keep a positive outlook, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.
Cancer patients are often encouraged to stay as happy as possible and many people believe that a positive outlook helps recovery and survival.
Dr. James Coyne and colleagues from the University of Pennsylvania set out to see if this was really true. They analyzed data from two studies of the emotional states of 1,093 patients with head and neck cancer.
Over the time of the two studies, 646 patients died.
The analysis showed that emotional status was not associated with survival rate. A person's emotions were not associated with survival even after taking into account other factors, such as gender, tumor site or disease stage, Coyne and colleagues report in the journal Cancer.
"The hope that we can fight cancer by influencing emotional states appears to have been misplaced," Coyne said in a statement.
"If cancer patients want psychotherapy or to be in a support group, they should be given the opportunity to do so. There can be lots of emotional and social benefits. But they should not seek such experiences solely on the expectation that they are extending their lives."
Are you fucking kidding me? Why in the name of everything sacred would you bother with a research project like this? Be far warned because I know this is going to come across as almost the exact argument for a religious matter as well but I'll address that in a minute.
First off, fuck you University of Pennsylvania. Your reasoning for this research has got to be similar to (a) we had nothing better to do and (b) let's decide to take away false hope because that's just no good. Let's leave them with no hope at all. How many of you University of Pennsylvania "scientists and doctors" can honestly say that you feel this is helpful? Apparently none of you have ever witnessed someone who truly believes they can get better simply by hoping and, here it comes, praying as well. This has nothing to do with religion, in a sense, but the argument is similar to the one I use often when talking about those of you out there who would rather work toward disproving something that you cannot see or touch.
If you are someone who decides that it is so much better if everyone knows all the flaws of religion and decides that every opportunity you receive you are going to shove that into those who believe in a God or a higher being then you need to listen to this. Picture it...you are dying or have just been told you have a terminal illness. I cannot imagine the feeling that must be going through your head at the moment but no sooner do you say to yourself "Okay, maybe if I just believe and keep positive thoughts in my head I may just live a little longer and get to enjoy my time even more" when suddenly a scientist goes "Naw, don't bother, it won't help anyway and I have new fangled numbers to prove it." I would take a frying pan and beat the shit out of him.
Faith and belief can be an extremely powerful thing folks. These things get people through the hardest times in their life and they believe they are made better by having this faith. Whether it comes to day to day living or being on death's doorstep. Even if all of the religious beliefs and expectations do not turn out to be true when you finally pass into death what harm can possibly be done by letting that dying person believe something or someone is waiting for them? How selfish are you if you decide that you are going to do everything to disprove that simply because you believe it garbage? Once the person dies they will find out what truly is out there after we die but make no mistake...if that person believes they can get better and wants to put faith in that to help them fight as long as they can and give them hope for something better after death...what place does anyone have to try and tell them otherwise? Is it affecting your life? Is it really a drain on your conscience to know that someone who is totally unrelated to you is having a belief they can continue to live? Yes, in the end they may be let down but to hold a belief so strongly in anything is a virtue in it's own right for if you truly do not believe in anything I don't believe you really have lived.
I'm at a loss for words
I don't know what to say here...I completed a discharge of a patient and as I said "You're all set" his girlfriend goes "Coolio!" and they walked away. What's worse than that? White chick. Yep.
Don't think about this for very long or your IQ points will keep dropping.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Eye Candy of the Day
Since Kiznox and I just saw 30 Days of Night, I have decided to bring a little bit of the movie to you. Enjoy, Melissa George, because she's hot in that movie.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
While Clicking Through IMDB...
I found that Paul Reubens is set to star in "Pee-Wee's Playhouse: The Movie," set to come out in 2009. Hopefully Laurence Fishburne is starring in it.
You Spell that Phonetically,
and I'll call it that twice on Sundays.
Also, found some truly interesting news floating around the net. Sadly, the site I found this on gave no link to the actual story, so it could be complete bullshit...but still, interesting.
I have been reading this really interesting comic lately...yes I have delved into comics and have begun the shame spiral downward that is associated with them. Anyway, it is called "Preacher" and it is definitely worth a look. I have no way to compare this with anything else that I have ever seen in comics before. It is about, you guessed it, a preacher and his literal search for God. Who quit. God quit and came to live on earth. It is fucked up, sexy, covered in blood and blatant cursing, dripping with beauty, covered in the dust of a Texan run amok, with vampires, serial killers, a ridiculously old woman leading some fuckall cult, and absolutely amazing. I would say that I hope that this series gets made into a movie, but I just do not think that it would be done justice. This series is beautiful.
And that is all I will say about it for the moment.
Today I am going to blow a shit ton of money on delicious food and a movie. Heading to PF Changs and then to see 30 days of Night.
And here is the review for that from, The Stranger:
Fuck IGN and RottenTomato, I have generally agreed with the Stranger on their movie choices, so I am excited. PLUS! VAMPIRES!!!!!!!
If anyone ever wants to turn me into a full-fledged vampire, please do.
Also, found some truly interesting news floating around the net. Sadly, the site I found this on gave no link to the actual story, so it could be complete bullshit...but still, interesting.
Harry Potter fans, the rumors are true: Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay. J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall.
After reading briefly from the final book, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” she took questions from audience members.
She was asked by one young fan whether Dumbledore finds “true love.”
“Dumbledore is gay,” the author responded to gasps and applause.
I have been reading this really interesting comic lately...yes I have delved into comics and have begun the shame spiral downward that is associated with them. Anyway, it is called "Preacher" and it is definitely worth a look. I have no way to compare this with anything else that I have ever seen in comics before. It is about, you guessed it, a preacher and his literal search for God. Who quit. God quit and came to live on earth. It is fucked up, sexy, covered in blood and blatant cursing, dripping with beauty, covered in the dust of a Texan run amok, with vampires, serial killers, a ridiculously old woman leading some fuckall cult, and absolutely amazing. I would say that I hope that this series gets made into a movie, but I just do not think that it would be done justice. This series is beautiful.
And that is all I will say about it for the moment.
Today I am going to blow a shit ton of money on delicious food and a movie. Heading to PF Changs and then to see 30 days of Night.
And here is the review for that from, The Stranger:
Even among the most jaded of geeks, Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith's 2002 comic series 30 Days of Night raised a seismic ruckus, thanks to a premise so ingenious that it's amazing that no one had ever thought of it before. I mean, really: vampires in Alaska? Where the sun doesn't rise for a solid month? Holy crap! Unfortunately, the creators never quite figured out how to capitalize on their initial stroke of genius. Beyond that killer idea and Templesmith's unsettlingly abstract art (no Anne Rice-ish romantic creatures of the night here, just vaguely humanoid things bursting with thickets of fangs), it comes off as a case of more sizzle than steak.
Thankfully, then, the inevitable cinematic adaptation stands as that rarity that rises above its source material, both in plot and gut-rumbling tone. Even accounting for a few logy sequences, it's the most relentless, sustained freak-out since The Descent.
Director David Slade (Hard Candy) takes an unusual amount of time setting things in motion—establishing the geography and an air of anticipatory menace before letting fly with the red stuff. He's aided in his efforts by a cast (including Danny Huston, Melissa George, and a surprisingly capable Josh Hartnett) who take things seriously, with none of the winking at the camera malarkey that's wrecked so many post-Scream horror flicks. The two-hour running time does occasionally feel excessive, but when all cylinders are firing, it generates an atmosphere that few examples of the genre can match. Impressive as the episodes of full-blown splatter are, it's the quieter moments, such as an insta-classic extended overhead tracking shot of the town under siege, that make you kind of sort of wish that they had never flicked off the theater's house lights. ANDREW WRIGHT
Fuck IGN and RottenTomato, I have generally agreed with the Stranger on their movie choices, so I am excited. PLUS! VAMPIRES!!!!!!!
If anyone ever wants to turn me into a full-fledged vampire, please do.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Another addition of the Weekly WYR!
Hello again folks. Rambo Dakota here with your favorite column on the Daily Clusterfuck...the never ending debate that is the Weekly Would You Rather! As always thanks go out to Mr. Streeter and College Humor from which the WYR is provided every Friday afternoon. This week's edition has quite a few more than usual so that's also a bonus as well as a hilarious one that gets an award. One of these days I will think of one too...but I can usually only be creative with beer. "Stop rambling dude! Get to it already." Alright, away we go...
Would You Rather...
Have to announce to everyone that you're going to take a shit every time or have horrible diarrhea at all the important moments of your life?
These WYR questions just get weirder and weirder by the week eh? In this instance I have to go with announcing the shit because let's be honest it's not always in public places that most of us take those shits so you are usually around people that you know ( e.g. family or friends) who probably just don't care either. In the end, it's a whole lot worse if I were waiting for my first kid to be born and just before they cut the umbilical cord I had to take that horrible diarrhea shit. I'd rather not have to be in that position.
Have 10,000 spoons or a knife?
I just don't get why this is important in any way but does this question beg the question that I can have not one single spoon ever again? I guess you can do a lot with a spoon but Jesus why would I ever want 10,000? For that reason and that reason alone I am going with the knife because let's face it...it's a conversation starter but that conversation does not end well.
Never be able to watch an episode of "The Office" again (new or rerun) or never be able to see your seventh-best friend again?
I do not find "The Office" all that funny, but I have not given it a fair shot either. I don't feel bad about that at all but it just makes for a pretty lopsided answer when you don't care about one of the parts of these kind of questions. I just find it funny that you would say "seventh best friend" instead of like best friend or even next best friend. I don't even know who my seventh best friend is! I could never rank my friends. My answer to this WYR question is I dislike that show...so bye bye "The Office."
Have to give a dollar to every homeless man you see or give them a hug?
I'm a very nice person and all but I am not going to give any homeless man a hug if I don't have to. I don't see that many homeless people unless I'm downtown so I feel I can sacrifice a dollar here and there. I usually give them change if I'm feeling stalked plus I just love to hear "You got change so a brotha can get a Combo meal."
Never stop crying or never stop having a runny nose?
This one is tough because of the obvious constant crying but that runny nose is one of the most annoying things in the fucking world. I don't think I'd want to be crying all day though because I think eventually you would die of dehydration...but it beats a runny nose that would probably eventually make my nose look like Rudolph's.
Be a 60 year old millionaire with a model wife who cheats on you or a poor 25 year old guy who sleeps with rich married models?
Interesting predicament here. Well, if I'm still getting some from the wife even though she cheats AND I am a millionaire I may think about this but, unfortunately for me, I'm just too stuck in my ways. The models are rich but married and they are willing to sleep with me? Did I mention they were models with an "s" at the end? Yeah, thought so. I just cannot have the cheating wife thing because cheating on me is just one of those unforgivable things in my book and I know you're thinking, so you can kick someone out for cheating on you but you don't mind having someone cheat with you?. I'm giving up rich to be poor but I'm getting laid by many rich, albeit married, models...yeah that I can do. I know this sounds like a desperate cry for me to get some pretty nice snatch and, well, it is.
Be a small town girl living in a lonely world or be a city boy born and raised in South Detroit?
Someone was listening to Journey eh? Who would choose to live in a lonely world? Although...South Detroit? Ah big props to Michigan I gotta represent this state to a degree so the winner of this question is South Detroit. I feel good now because I no longer owe the state of Michigan a shout-out! I can now say all the shitty things I want!
Talk in an angry voice when you're happy or talk in a high pitched voice when you're mad?
Me having a high pitched voice period is just something that is hard to imagine. I tend to have a deep voice so I would probably be laughed at when I would get mad based off of the random freakin' pitch that would accompany it. When I'm angry it's more in the tone I don't have that stern voice really. An angry voice is just a moderate change from my normal voice so I could probably pull that one off a little easier than having the puberty pitch when mad.
Have your foot always be asleep or your hand always be asleep?
Another one of those absolutely annoying things that I really would hate to have either of. I guess if your foot was constantly asleep then you could still walk on it but when you're hand is numb from being "asleep" it may lack some function after so long. I guess you would probably just get used to that tingling feeling either way.
Watch King of the Hill DVD special features or go to sleep?
I've maybe watched 10 episodes of King of the Hill in my lifetime. So there I think I brought out the spirit of this question because let's face it, you knew the answer to 99 out of 100 people's responses when you read the question...unless of course you live in like Texas and masturbate to the show because it is so much like your family.
Post my would you rather or be in my suicide note?
This one is just creepy and I'm not sure why Streeter posted it but I figured I'd give you someone who found an easy way to get himself onto a popular website...and I'm not talking about College Humor!
Be Captain Planet or Aquaman?
Didn't we discuss this a few months ago? No one likes Aquaman! Not even Aquaman likes being Aquaman. Need further proof? Watch Robot Chicken's first ever episode. Also, who wouldn't want to be the spokesman for American freedom and liberty? He reflects that we're a free country and the greatest country on Earth as soon as you look at him. That has got to be an awesome feeling...if he was real of course.
Be constantly bored or constantly restless?
Being restless is very frustrating but being bored can be even more frustrating. I guess being restless isn't as bad because you are at least doing something, even though you don't want to do it for too long before moving onto something else. That at least gets you up and about. Plus, if I was constantly bored my manhood would just fall off from overuse.
A guy named Andy sent in a WYR attempt and received Streeter's "Worst WYR Ever" Award for this masterpiece:
Would you rather never cum or always cum?
Way to go Andy! I think that we may know the problems that strike you in the heat of the moment.
Happy Birthday Trey!
That's right! Happy Birthday to one of the creators of one of the funniest, and controversial shows of all time...South Park! The character of Stan is based upon him on the show. He was born in 1969 in, you guessed it, Colorado.
Interesting
This is fascinating, and hilarious, on two counts:
1. It appears any word we would probably use are somehow linked to a term for marijuana, PCP, or other hardcore drugs.
2. This is a government website!
Click here to take a look. Thanks, as always, to College Humor.
1. It appears any word we would probably use are somehow linked to a term for marijuana, PCP, or other hardcore drugs.
2. This is a government website!
Click here to take a look. Thanks, as always, to College Humor.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
You know your vehicle sucks...
...when your ad campaign acknowledges that most people don't like it.
Scion xB -
Love it or Loathe it
that is their ad campaign
give it up scion. you'll never sell that surplus of those crappy cars.
I for one LOATHE it
Scion xB -
Love it or Loathe it
that is their ad campaign
give it up scion. you'll never sell that surplus of those crappy cars.
I for one LOATHE it
You pose an interesting question Kiznox
An interesting question indeed. Something that this Michigan fan takes for granted as just plain everyday living but why is this rivalry between Michigan and the Fuckeyes so much bigger than the in-state rivalry between Michigan and the Spartans?
First and foremost it is one of the oldest and, what ESPN has called, the greatest North American sports rivalry of all time. How did this come to pass? There are many people who give different reasons for why this regular season game has such a Super Bowl type feeling. My thoughts on why this rivalry is so much bigger is that Michigan and Ohio State, for many many years now, have always been two of the most elite colleges in the NCAA. They have played every year since 1900 and it has always been the last game of the season. What this means, given the two teams near dominance of college football from year to year, is that when November comes, like last years #1 OSU v. #2 Michigan, the game always has Big Ten conference implications, if not National Championship implications. Nearly every year this game damages the others season...whether it be by knocking them from the ranks of the undefeated (possiblity this year if OSU keeps winning) or by keeping the other out of a bowl game (needing 6 wins to be bowl eligible) or just by losing the game (Michigan QB Chad Henne, RB Michael Hart, and Tackle Jake Long all came back for their senior year simply to defeat Ohio State as these three have never beaten them).
There have also been coaching rivalries with this series as well. Bo vs. Woody back in the 70s, Lloyd vs. Tressell today. Bo was an assistant under Woody Hayes before taking over Michigan's reins and that lifted the rivalry even higher. "Ten Year War" is what that coaching rivalry was named (Michigan and Bo Schembechler went 5-4-1 during the "War" before Hayes was fired). After Hayes was fired Michigan dominated the series until Tressel arrived and we have struggled to beat those bastards ever since.
You see, Michigan vs. Michigan State has implications on the season because (a) it is a Big Ten game, (b) it is an inter-state rivalry, and (c) the rivalry is made by the fact that they are only a stone's throw from each other in the state of Michigan. Overall, Michigan vs. MSU is a rivalry because it has to be, nearly by definition.
Michigan vs. Ohio State is a man-made kegger that explodes the moment the ball kicks off from either Ohio Stadium or glorious Michigan Stadium on those cold November afternoon. I am not downplaying the Michigan vs. State rivalry by any means, it is just as crucial a victory in a season as you could want and God knows there have been some fantastic games between the teams (MSU's "Clockgate" victory and Michigan's come from behind victory in 2004). They play for the Paul Bunyan Trophy every year and it is a treasure to keep until next year knowing that you beat a rival to keep it, or win it back.
In the end though, anyone you ask that is a Michigan fan will tell you that the rivalry game that they look forward to the most is Michigan vs. Ohio State because as much as we love to beat up the Spartans...victory is just so so much sweeter if it's the Buckeyes with their heads down when that final whistle sounds.
I hope this helped Kiznox. If you ever want to talk Michigan vs. Ohio State or football in general you know I would love nothing more. I leave you, and all of you fellow readers, with two words...the only two you ever need to know...Go Blue!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Awesome...
Surprising post, Rambo. Mostly because it would seem that UM fans hate Ohio more than MSU, and that is not just basing it off of you. I mean, is that really a bigger rivalry? Because if it is, then some green and whiters need to steal something from UM and hold it hostage until there can be a true hatred between the colleges. Hell, there is nothing more satisfying than a good 'ole fashioned blood-fued.
And I am being serious.
Also, I just finished reading Slaughterhouse Five. It was really interesting. Onward to some ridiculous comics.
And I am being serious.
Also, I just finished reading Slaughterhouse Five. It was really interesting. Onward to some ridiculous comics.
Listen up East Lansing
I just have to say this now, while I'm thinking about it. For those of you in Spartyville listen up because you will never hear me say this but once a year. Go Spartans this weekend. That's right. I dislike SpartyNation just as much as the next Wolverine but I hate those son of a bitch Buckeyes even more. So write it down if you must to remember this time but know that I will be a Spartan fan for a day. Spartans, I want you to expose and humiliate those Buckeyes. I will not be surprised if you yourself get humiliated but I am asking you nicely to do the world a favor and get those bastards from Columbus off their high horses and put them where they belong...on the turf.
For one day I will say...Go Spartans. For ever and ever I will say...Fuck You Buckeyes.
For one day I will say...Go Spartans. For ever and ever I will say...Fuck You Buckeyes.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Chicago
So I was too busy and then too stoned to write about my weekend til now, but seeing as how my teacher just cancelled my lesson, I have a little bit of free time...
So Chicago was amazing.
I mean, Chicago is always amazing, but this trip in particular was fantastic.
I dropped off Sian at her hotel (she was going for her bachelorette party) and then got to Eric's at around 8:30. We quickly got the festivities under way with a glass of wine and a couple of rounds of beer pong. We eventually heard back from Eric's friend (from whom we were awaiting a call to see his plans) and we all went out to bars.
So I like Spiral and Xcel alright (in terms of gay bars), but I always have SO MUCH FUN bar hopping in Boys town. Even when the last time I went I may have gotten something slipped in my drink. It's always such a social occasion, I meet so many people (for better or for worse) make random friends in bathroom lines, etc. The last bar in particular (that we went to at like 2 in the morning - another plus side of that area is clubs frequently not closing til 4) was a ton of fun - there were a TON of people, everyone dancing to some pretty decent music. It was just excellent.
The next day I slept til around 11:30, and started the morning with mimosas and breakfast burritos (a bit of the hair of the dog to cure my hangover). Eric and I ran a few errands and then went back home. In the meantime, Eric's roommates and a couple of their friends dropped acid. Which was amusing. But made me jealous haha. We watched Mrs. Doubtfire til around 6, which is a fantastic movie by the way, it's way funnier than I remembered it. I also helped Eric begin his own highlighter bottle project, which he was very grateful for. We went to one of his friends from the burbs's place and bought pot, which he promptly smoked us down with to ensure the quality.
It was such a great session. Seriously. This guy is REALLY funny, very genuine, had a 3 foot glass bong with an ice catcher and two percolators which FUCKED ME UP. He threw on some loud music (an album which I have since downloaded by M.I.A. - oh my god I'm starting to like mainstream music - but it was sweet). He then with the music still going played geometry wars. Seriously guys. You need to download it on xbox live. It's free, and as Eric's friend described it it's like "playing the 4th of july". The graphics are sweet despite it being so simple and it's ridiculously intense. My heart was POUNDING just watching him, and the combination of good (non-rap) hip hop in the background and being baked made it AMAZING.
I went home, drank a few vodka tonics and had Eric drop me off at the bar for the concert. It was a small place, which was cool, and the opening act started at around 10:15. His name is Eliot Lipp, another DJ, and I REALLY liked his stuff. He used some of the psychadelic-friendly sounds that I've come to know and love recently and really played a great set. I have since downloaded a few of his albums and enjoyed them quite a bit, although there's really no comparison to him live. He played for about an hour then Bassnectar started. It was fantastic. I sparked up my "special" cigarette during a song I knew and loved (although I can't exactly remember what it was now) and his entire set was awesome - especially the end was sweet. He played for over two and a half hours straight, me dancing pretty much the whole time. Except for when I had to go to the bathroom or get drinks. I don't actually have a ton of recollection of the timeline of the night (I couldn't believe how late it was when I finally checked my watch, it seemed like no time had passed) but at some point I befriended a group of people when this guy who looked like a gay thom yorke (minus the lazy eye) started talking to me and dancing with me. We were probably the only two gay guys there, so it worked haha. I couldn't get a hold of Eric who was out at bars and had left his phone in the car, so I just went with them to an afterparty. Of course Eric called me on the way, and seeing as how I didn't have a key to his apartment and was technically a guest, I decided to leave early. I had to find an atm, hail a cab and remember where I was going, so I finally made it at like 3:30. Eric had passed out like the drunkie he is, so I had to lay on the buzzer til his roommate came down. Whoops.
I woke up the next day at around 10:30, and shortly thereafter left to meet up with Sian and Leah for lunch, then headed on home, very sadly.
A couple thoughts on everything:
I ADORE Chicago. It's one of my favorite places, and I'm strongly considering moving there after my master's. I feel so good there, so at home. I meet people easily (even if a lot of them are through Eric, that's still fine). The people I know are my age or older and still know how to go out and have a good time til all hours of the night. It's like my ideal. Plus, had it not been for the fact that I was still technically visiting an ex, I totally could have gotten laid. Thom Yorke boy wanted me to stay out late, but I had to be good(ish) and head home.
Which brings me to my only concern with the weekend. I have a strange mistrust for Eric when we're out at bars. I don't know why. If he disappears for more than a few minutes, I start thinking he's gone off to hook up with someone or something, which is terribly unfair of me for many reasons. First of all, we've been broken up for years, it's none of my business. Secondly, he wouldn't do that to me, he's a good person. And thirdly, even if he DID find someone to hook up with, I'm sure I could (and probably would) too. It's just this weird feeling - like the two of us are bound to each others' actions. I dunno. I suppose part of it's just residual mistrust from when he called me at 5 in the morning when we were dating to confess that he had made out with someone else (which I immediately forgave him for, even though it did kinda bother me). I really just need to get some. Real bad. Not being able to hit the gym because of rehearsals is also not making me feel good. I just have this weird clingy side I've never noticed before.
Regardless, it was all wonderful. It's nice to feel like you're being noticed. And to feel like you're funny, and that people are happy to have met you. I don't get that feeling down here, and I don't know why (except occasionally at work, but that doesn't really count, and now that I got recruited to electrics, I don't do as much group activity).
Anyway, Cottonmouth out, miss you guys, see you in a few weeks at the wedding!
So Chicago was amazing.
I mean, Chicago is always amazing, but this trip in particular was fantastic.
I dropped off Sian at her hotel (she was going for her bachelorette party) and then got to Eric's at around 8:30. We quickly got the festivities under way with a glass of wine and a couple of rounds of beer pong. We eventually heard back from Eric's friend (from whom we were awaiting a call to see his plans) and we all went out to bars.
So I like Spiral and Xcel alright (in terms of gay bars), but I always have SO MUCH FUN bar hopping in Boys town. Even when the last time I went I may have gotten something slipped in my drink. It's always such a social occasion, I meet so many people (for better or for worse) make random friends in bathroom lines, etc. The last bar in particular (that we went to at like 2 in the morning - another plus side of that area is clubs frequently not closing til 4) was a ton of fun - there were a TON of people, everyone dancing to some pretty decent music. It was just excellent.
The next day I slept til around 11:30, and started the morning with mimosas and breakfast burritos (a bit of the hair of the dog to cure my hangover). Eric and I ran a few errands and then went back home. In the meantime, Eric's roommates and a couple of their friends dropped acid. Which was amusing. But made me jealous haha. We watched Mrs. Doubtfire til around 6, which is a fantastic movie by the way, it's way funnier than I remembered it. I also helped Eric begin his own highlighter bottle project, which he was very grateful for. We went to one of his friends from the burbs's place and bought pot, which he promptly smoked us down with to ensure the quality.
It was such a great session. Seriously. This guy is REALLY funny, very genuine, had a 3 foot glass bong with an ice catcher and two percolators which FUCKED ME UP. He threw on some loud music (an album which I have since downloaded by M.I.A. - oh my god I'm starting to like mainstream music - but it was sweet). He then with the music still going played geometry wars. Seriously guys. You need to download it on xbox live. It's free, and as Eric's friend described it it's like "playing the 4th of july". The graphics are sweet despite it being so simple and it's ridiculously intense. My heart was POUNDING just watching him, and the combination of good (non-rap) hip hop in the background and being baked made it AMAZING.
I went home, drank a few vodka tonics and had Eric drop me off at the bar for the concert. It was a small place, which was cool, and the opening act started at around 10:15. His name is Eliot Lipp, another DJ, and I REALLY liked his stuff. He used some of the psychadelic-friendly sounds that I've come to know and love recently and really played a great set. I have since downloaded a few of his albums and enjoyed them quite a bit, although there's really no comparison to him live. He played for about an hour then Bassnectar started. It was fantastic. I sparked up my "special" cigarette during a song I knew and loved (although I can't exactly remember what it was now) and his entire set was awesome - especially the end was sweet. He played for over two and a half hours straight, me dancing pretty much the whole time. Except for when I had to go to the bathroom or get drinks. I don't actually have a ton of recollection of the timeline of the night (I couldn't believe how late it was when I finally checked my watch, it seemed like no time had passed) but at some point I befriended a group of people when this guy who looked like a gay thom yorke (minus the lazy eye) started talking to me and dancing with me. We were probably the only two gay guys there, so it worked haha. I couldn't get a hold of Eric who was out at bars and had left his phone in the car, so I just went with them to an afterparty. Of course Eric called me on the way, and seeing as how I didn't have a key to his apartment and was technically a guest, I decided to leave early. I had to find an atm, hail a cab and remember where I was going, so I finally made it at like 3:30. Eric had passed out like the drunkie he is, so I had to lay on the buzzer til his roommate came down. Whoops.
I woke up the next day at around 10:30, and shortly thereafter left to meet up with Sian and Leah for lunch, then headed on home, very sadly.
A couple thoughts on everything:
I ADORE Chicago. It's one of my favorite places, and I'm strongly considering moving there after my master's. I feel so good there, so at home. I meet people easily (even if a lot of them are through Eric, that's still fine). The people I know are my age or older and still know how to go out and have a good time til all hours of the night. It's like my ideal. Plus, had it not been for the fact that I was still technically visiting an ex, I totally could have gotten laid. Thom Yorke boy wanted me to stay out late, but I had to be good(ish) and head home.
Which brings me to my only concern with the weekend. I have a strange mistrust for Eric when we're out at bars. I don't know why. If he disappears for more than a few minutes, I start thinking he's gone off to hook up with someone or something, which is terribly unfair of me for many reasons. First of all, we've been broken up for years, it's none of my business. Secondly, he wouldn't do that to me, he's a good person. And thirdly, even if he DID find someone to hook up with, I'm sure I could (and probably would) too. It's just this weird feeling - like the two of us are bound to each others' actions. I dunno. I suppose part of it's just residual mistrust from when he called me at 5 in the morning when we were dating to confess that he had made out with someone else (which I immediately forgave him for, even though it did kinda bother me). I really just need to get some. Real bad. Not being able to hit the gym because of rehearsals is also not making me feel good. I just have this weird clingy side I've never noticed before.
Regardless, it was all wonderful. It's nice to feel like you're being noticed. And to feel like you're funny, and that people are happy to have met you. I don't get that feeling down here, and I don't know why (except occasionally at work, but that doesn't really count, and now that I got recruited to electrics, I don't do as much group activity).
Anyway, Cottonmouth out, miss you guys, see you in a few weeks at the wedding!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Why Me?
I just got home from work. It's 3:45am. I was supposed to get off at midnight...not only that, but I have to be back to work at 10am.
Oh, and my phone died at 11, so I couldn't call anyone to tell them I couldn't party tonight. Now I look like a dick.
I would be pissed, but I did just make $200+ in one day. $65 of that went straight into my pocket.
Oh, and my phone died at 11, so I couldn't call anyone to tell them I couldn't party tonight. Now I look like a dick.
I would be pissed, but I did just make $200+ in one day. $65 of that went straight into my pocket.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Pondering...
So here I sit, at the computer, pondering.
What could possibly have me pondering so much at this very moment in time? You ask. Well, I have absolutely no fucking clue. In fact, I am not really even sure what I am pondering. It is a totally random thought process brought on by a clear excess of work and, believe it or not, half of a beer.
So yeah, I sit at the computer and type like this when I am pondering, if only to quiet the arbitrary thoughts that are shooting through my brain. Usually, I use Word for this kind of mundane bullshit. But not tonight. No, not tonight.
Tonight is a Friday. I would like to be out partying. Having a few brews with some of the new people that I have met. Getting completely fucked for no other reason than being completely fucked. And the fucking would be fulfilling and flavorful.
Molson is actually a pretty decent beer. It somehow tastes a tad bit fruity, though. Like...hang on...sip needed...some sort of light cherry or grape mix? Not sure. Just know that I actually like it and that is good for the soul.
Why not tonight? Why am I, the pursuer of going out at every possible opportunity, not going out tonight? Because I have to work early in the morning. Perhaps not as early as some people. Hell, definitely not as early as some people. Yet I am completely dedicated to not falling asleep whilst I try to work tomorrow. It would not even be possible for me to do that. Actually, it would be, but then I risk burning my face off.
Anyway, this is complete nonsense. Peace out.
What could possibly have me pondering so much at this very moment in time? You ask. Well, I have absolutely no fucking clue. In fact, I am not really even sure what I am pondering. It is a totally random thought process brought on by a clear excess of work and, believe it or not, half of a beer.
So yeah, I sit at the computer and type like this when I am pondering, if only to quiet the arbitrary thoughts that are shooting through my brain. Usually, I use Word for this kind of mundane bullshit. But not tonight. No, not tonight.
Tonight is a Friday. I would like to be out partying. Having a few brews with some of the new people that I have met. Getting completely fucked for no other reason than being completely fucked. And the fucking would be fulfilling and flavorful.
Molson is actually a pretty decent beer. It somehow tastes a tad bit fruity, though. Like...hang on...sip needed...some sort of light cherry or grape mix? Not sure. Just know that I actually like it and that is good for the soul.
Why not tonight? Why am I, the pursuer of going out at every possible opportunity, not going out tonight? Because I have to work early in the morning. Perhaps not as early as some people. Hell, definitely not as early as some people. Yet I am completely dedicated to not falling asleep whilst I try to work tomorrow. It would not even be possible for me to do that. Actually, it would be, but then I risk burning my face off.
Anyway, this is complete nonsense. Peace out.
Can you believe this shit?
"Success comes to kids who wait to have sex." Is that not the most retarded thing you have ever heard? Do you know who said it, or more importantly, sponsoring the messages seen on TV? Oh you guessed it...our ever all-knowing government! Fuck you Republicans and your "I didn't get laid because of my stubborn chauvinistic political beliefs until I was 40 so you can't either" attitude. The website with seemingly hundreds of ways to talk and dissuade your kid from sex can be found here. My favorite, and most hilarious, part of the website includes how to talk to your kids. For example:
Teenager: "All you tell me is, "Don't do this and don't do that" So what am I supposed to do?"
Parent: "You are supposed to be pursuing your goals."
Now I get that STDs and teen pregnancies occur but I've always felt that you do not need to keep your kid abstinent for these things to avoid happening to them. If you are a good enough parent who lets your kids know about what to do should the opportunity arise (no pun intended for us guys) to have sex, then you have done all you can. Once you become a teenager you do not want to listen to much of anything because you feel you are becoming more independent than is probably true, but don't tell that to them. Making these mistakes is a part of life, and do not think I am saying "Go out and knock up the first girl who kisses you" or "Ah you don't really need those condoms." I am saying that life throws you all kinds of curve balls and you just have to know how to hit them. If your parents do a good enough job you should have no qualms about having sex because you know the risks. Honestly, isn't the teen suicide rate high enough? Do we really want to stop our hormone filled kids from having sex until they are married? Waiting until marriage is perfectly acceptable, do not get me wrong, but it is not something that should be preached to the entire world. That goes against my religion but, as I hope most of you know, I do not agree with everything my religion says because I have the right to question those things as a human being. To make a long story short (too late) this is a message to the government...stay the FUCK out of our lives. I will raise my kids with the beliefs and knowledge that I deem worthy for them to follow. They will make their own decisions on whether that is right or wrong for them one day down the road but until then, parenting can be hard enough without our government lobbying to try and raise our kids better than we can.
Teenager: "All you tell me is, "Don't do this and don't do that" So what am I supposed to do?"
Parent: "You are supposed to be pursuing your goals."
Now I get that STDs and teen pregnancies occur but I've always felt that you do not need to keep your kid abstinent for these things to avoid happening to them. If you are a good enough parent who lets your kids know about what to do should the opportunity arise (no pun intended for us guys) to have sex, then you have done all you can. Once you become a teenager you do not want to listen to much of anything because you feel you are becoming more independent than is probably true, but don't tell that to them. Making these mistakes is a part of life, and do not think I am saying "Go out and knock up the first girl who kisses you" or "Ah you don't really need those condoms." I am saying that life throws you all kinds of curve balls and you just have to know how to hit them. If your parents do a good enough job you should have no qualms about having sex because you know the risks. Honestly, isn't the teen suicide rate high enough? Do we really want to stop our hormone filled kids from having sex until they are married? Waiting until marriage is perfectly acceptable, do not get me wrong, but it is not something that should be preached to the entire world. That goes against my religion but, as I hope most of you know, I do not agree with everything my religion says because I have the right to question those things as a human being. To make a long story short (too late) this is a message to the government...stay the FUCK out of our lives. I will raise my kids with the beliefs and knowledge that I deem worthy for them to follow. They will make their own decisions on whether that is right or wrong for them one day down the road but until then, parenting can be hard enough without our government lobbying to try and raise our kids better than we can.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Movie Quote of the Day
"So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right?
[Will nods]
You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief."
- Sean Maguire (Robin Williams) "Good Will Hunting"
Marvelous Song
I know you guys hate when I do this but this song has been played continually on my iPod the last three days. I cannot stop listening to it. I think most of you would like it.
Submersed - "We All Make Mistakes"
To know you,
Is to know the love of an angel,
Sent from above,
To save me,
From all of the heartache I've known
To hold you,
Is to hold in my arms of forgiveness,
Of a compassionate heart,
To be beating, pieces and struggles a lie
We all make mistakes
In our lives there's a way,
It is to hold onto what is right
We all get the chance in our lives,
To make right
If I've hurt you,
I am sorry,
Forgive me,
Forgive me
To show you,
This hole in my heart
Is to show you what you feel from the start
With your love you, broke the chains that bound me
With the strings of heavens that brought us together,
Theres no doubt that this will last forever,
Until the end of time
We all make mistakes
In our lives there's a way,
It is to hold onto what is right
We all get the chance in our lives,
To make right
If I've hurt you,
I am sorry,
Forgive me
I hear a voice on the winds of a whipser
Is this to me,
To tell me that I'm alone,
It says,
Please, never be seen through silence
Come one day,
Can you find your way
To see
We all make mistakes
In our lives there's a way,
It is to hold onto what is right
We all get the chance in our lives,
To make right
If I've hurt you,
I am sorry,
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Submersed - "We All Make Mistakes"
To know you,
Is to know the love of an angel,
Sent from above,
To save me,
From all of the heartache I've known
To hold you,
Is to hold in my arms of forgiveness,
Of a compassionate heart,
To be beating, pieces and struggles a lie
We all make mistakes
In our lives there's a way,
It is to hold onto what is right
We all get the chance in our lives,
To make right
If I've hurt you,
I am sorry,
Forgive me,
Forgive me
To show you,
This hole in my heart
Is to show you what you feel from the start
With your love you, broke the chains that bound me
With the strings of heavens that brought us together,
Theres no doubt that this will last forever,
Until the end of time
We all make mistakes
In our lives there's a way,
It is to hold onto what is right
We all get the chance in our lives,
To make right
If I've hurt you,
I am sorry,
Forgive me
I hear a voice on the winds of a whipser
Is this to me,
To tell me that I'm alone,
It says,
Please, never be seen through silence
Come one day,
Can you find your way
To see
We all make mistakes
In our lives there's a way,
It is to hold onto what is right
We all get the chance in our lives,
To make right
If I've hurt you,
I am sorry,
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
In Rainbows - One Man's Opinion
So it's been over four years of anticipation since the release of Radiohead's "Hail to the Thief" - an album that despite a brilliant array of very unique and groundbreaking tracks, never became one of the albums listed as the greatest in their ouvre. So when I woke up with Christmas morning anticipation at 6am today without the help of an alarm, and realized that I would not get to sleep again without listening to it, I had a great deal of trepidation (I, for one, loved HTTT, but when a band has done so much right, you always wait for them to do somethin wrong - especially when they've been around for as long as Radiohead). So I downloaded the album, scraped the remaining resin from my bowls, flipped off the lights, plugged in my headphones and began.
A track-by-track review follows, but here are some overall thoughts.
Please take these comments with a grain of salt, I love and almost worship Radiohead, and these are NITPICKY complaints: I have to admit I'm frustrated that the album was so short. They clearly had a lot of material from these sessions, and though I appreciate their decision to release the "b-sides" as a separate cd in a few months in the discbox, I wish there had been a little more. In fact, I believe this is their shortest album they released, excepting maybe Amnesiac. I'm hoping (and this is what it seems) that In Rainbows as we know it so far is something like a double album, and only the first half "leaked" if that's what you want to call it. The live versions of several tracks on the second disc are pretty heavy hitters, and so they may round off the first disc well (although there's no telling - Reckoner is almost unrecognizable on the album versus its live version - more on that later though.) However, unlike some recent
This is a far more relaxed album than Hail to the Thief, and it will certainly not appeal to all Radiohead fans. The music is, however, far more mature and complex than, I think, anything they've released in the past. It is accessible without being "easy", the themes being far more obvious, and yet still far more poetic. Thom Yorke waxes romantic on several tracks, and despite him being close to forty, it is by far the most polished and varied singing we've heard from him. Also, it is much more organic than most recent albums, the guitar, bass, and drums are easily recognizable even with the quintessential radiohead production we all know and love. I truly believe that this is one of those albums that will continue to grow with you the more you hear it. There is not a moment that has not been obviously thought through to the nth degree, and the music and lyrics fit with one another better probably than any other Radiohead album. So now for a closer look...
1) 15 Step - The album starts with a live favorite, full of electronic drum beats and odd, yet somehow danceable rhythms. It is possibly the most fun moment of the cd, and there's a lot of layering here, coming across as a slightly less frantic homage to "Idioteque". The album version makes full use of the studio, effects to the vocals and backing track to heighten the drama.
2) Bodysnatchers - A very different track that could as easily be written by the White Stripes. Guitar-heavy, up-tempo, and hard-hitting, it is an homage back to the days of Pablo Honey (albeit more polished). The different sections of the song line up perfectly, and the transitions between them are completely seamless. The groovy coda (after the bridge) is a real standout, and is surprisingly fun by Radiohead's standard.
3) Nude - A tune that the band has been throwing around since they were recording OK Computer. This is the first time it has appeared as a studio track, and the translation works perfectly. The beginning of the first verse is about as "nude" as you can get - sparse drums, a slow throbbing bassline, and Thom's trademark falsetto, but it quickly warms up with synth-strings and the addition of the guitar. The climax, when everything drops out but Thom's voice is pure magic - it's some of the best singing he's ever done, and that's saying something.
4) Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - One of the "colorful" moments of the album that I referred to before. The layering of guitars and the slight reverb on the vocals gives the impression of being underwater. Really gorgeous and contemplative, without being boring.
5) All I Need - Possibly my favorite track on the album. The "Atoms for Peace"-esque bassline is great, Thom's voice is in top form, and the build-up is amazing. The lyrics are beautiful, and the build-up from the point that the piano comes in gives me chills. Like "How to Disappear Completely", the impact beginning of the song just cannot prepare you for the impassioned moments that will come later. Simply gorgeous
6) Faust Arp - A short homage to the sound of the Beatles, with a simple vocal line, unison strings, and acoustic guitars. Not a stand out track in my opinion, but it provides a welcome cleansing from the last few synth-soaked tracks.
7) Reckoner - A percussion-heavy intro gives way to a surprisingly low-fi tune that features Thom's falsetto. An interesting choice for this point in the album. The drum-less middle section of the song is particularly memorable, but this might have been a good point for another rocker (which it could have been). A brief history of "Reckoner": in its live conception it had a hard, grungy riff, possibly even more intense than Myxomatosis. The album version is a completely different song under the same title. Many people have hoped that the hard-rocking version will be one of the unknown tracks on the b-sides cd, and rightly so - it's pretty awesome.
8) House Of Cards - Somewhat akin to the music of Yo La Tengo, this is another really beautiful ballad. It's simple and beautiful, and surpringly sexy - Thom starts out with the line "I don't wanna be your friend, I just wanna be your lover". The kind of song you'd want to be curled up with someone under the stars for, enjoying the warm, lush synth.
9) Jigsaw Falling Into Place - A welcome rocker wakes us up before Videotape. A throw-back to the Bends era, this track differs significantly from its live version in that the electric aspect of the guitars never really comes into play, something that may have added to the allure of the song.
10) Videotape - One of Radiohead's many songs about death is based on a constantly repeated figure played purposefully on a bright, imperfect upright piano (yep I can recognize that much just from how it sounds). The skittish drum figure is hard to describe, but it works perfectly to add to the desperate nature of the lyrics. It is almost like the percussive equivalent of a tape that has been overused and has quality issues. I don't know, you have to hear it to understand. The best way to review this intensely touching track is simply to list its lyrics:
When I'm at the pearly gates
This will be on my videotape, my videotape
Mephistopheles is just beneath
and he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
and i have it all here
In red, blue, green
In red, blue, green
You are my center
When i spin away
Out of control on videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Cause I can't do it face to face
I'm talking to you after it's too late
From my videotape
No matter what happens now
You shouldn't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.
The thing about this album, is it really gets to me. I don't really know why. "In Rainbows" may be the best title they could have chosen for this record - each track (although Radiohead's sound is present) demonstrates a completely different color from them. Despite my few issues with its length and tendency to lean toward to morose sounds, especially on the latter half of the cd, it really is an amazing set of songs. (However as I've said, if the second cd is slightly more upbeat at times, they could work together very well)
The final verdict: Not for everyone, but constructed with the care and nuance of the greatest of classical works. A really excellent, veritable piece of art.
A track-by-track review follows, but here are some overall thoughts.
Please take these comments with a grain of salt, I love and almost worship Radiohead, and these are NITPICKY complaints: I have to admit I'm frustrated that the album was so short. They clearly had a lot of material from these sessions, and though I appreciate their decision to release the "b-sides" as a separate cd in a few months in the discbox, I wish there had been a little more. In fact, I believe this is their shortest album they released, excepting maybe Amnesiac. I'm hoping (and this is what it seems) that In Rainbows as we know it so far is something like a double album, and only the first half "leaked" if that's what you want to call it. The live versions of several tracks on the second disc are pretty heavy hitters, and so they may round off the first disc well (although there's no telling - Reckoner is almost unrecognizable on the album versus its live version - more on that later though.) However, unlike some recent
This is a far more relaxed album than Hail to the Thief, and it will certainly not appeal to all Radiohead fans. The music is, however, far more mature and complex than, I think, anything they've released in the past. It is accessible without being "easy", the themes being far more obvious, and yet still far more poetic. Thom Yorke waxes romantic on several tracks, and despite him being close to forty, it is by far the most polished and varied singing we've heard from him. Also, it is much more organic than most recent albums, the guitar, bass, and drums are easily recognizable even with the quintessential radiohead production we all know and love. I truly believe that this is one of those albums that will continue to grow with you the more you hear it. There is not a moment that has not been obviously thought through to the nth degree, and the music and lyrics fit with one another better probably than any other Radiohead album. So now for a closer look...
1) 15 Step - The album starts with a live favorite, full of electronic drum beats and odd, yet somehow danceable rhythms. It is possibly the most fun moment of the cd, and there's a lot of layering here, coming across as a slightly less frantic homage to "Idioteque". The album version makes full use of the studio, effects to the vocals and backing track to heighten the drama.
2) Bodysnatchers - A very different track that could as easily be written by the White Stripes. Guitar-heavy, up-tempo, and hard-hitting, it is an homage back to the days of Pablo Honey (albeit more polished). The different sections of the song line up perfectly, and the transitions between them are completely seamless. The groovy coda (after the bridge) is a real standout, and is surprisingly fun by Radiohead's standard.
3) Nude - A tune that the band has been throwing around since they were recording OK Computer. This is the first time it has appeared as a studio track, and the translation works perfectly. The beginning of the first verse is about as "nude" as you can get - sparse drums, a slow throbbing bassline, and Thom's trademark falsetto, but it quickly warms up with synth-strings and the addition of the guitar. The climax, when everything drops out but Thom's voice is pure magic - it's some of the best singing he's ever done, and that's saying something.
4) Weird Fishes/Arpeggi - One of the "colorful" moments of the album that I referred to before. The layering of guitars and the slight reverb on the vocals gives the impression of being underwater. Really gorgeous and contemplative, without being boring.
5) All I Need - Possibly my favorite track on the album. The "Atoms for Peace"-esque bassline is great, Thom's voice is in top form, and the build-up is amazing. The lyrics are beautiful, and the build-up from the point that the piano comes in gives me chills. Like "How to Disappear Completely", the impact beginning of the song just cannot prepare you for the impassioned moments that will come later. Simply gorgeous
6) Faust Arp - A short homage to the sound of the Beatles, with a simple vocal line, unison strings, and acoustic guitars. Not a stand out track in my opinion, but it provides a welcome cleansing from the last few synth-soaked tracks.
7) Reckoner - A percussion-heavy intro gives way to a surprisingly low-fi tune that features Thom's falsetto. An interesting choice for this point in the album. The drum-less middle section of the song is particularly memorable, but this might have been a good point for another rocker (which it could have been). A brief history of "Reckoner": in its live conception it had a hard, grungy riff, possibly even more intense than Myxomatosis. The album version is a completely different song under the same title. Many people have hoped that the hard-rocking version will be one of the unknown tracks on the b-sides cd, and rightly so - it's pretty awesome.
8) House Of Cards - Somewhat akin to the music of Yo La Tengo, this is another really beautiful ballad. It's simple and beautiful, and surpringly sexy - Thom starts out with the line "I don't wanna be your friend, I just wanna be your lover". The kind of song you'd want to be curled up with someone under the stars for, enjoying the warm, lush synth.
9) Jigsaw Falling Into Place - A welcome rocker wakes us up before Videotape. A throw-back to the Bends era, this track differs significantly from its live version in that the electric aspect of the guitars never really comes into play, something that may have added to the allure of the song.
10) Videotape - One of Radiohead's many songs about death is based on a constantly repeated figure played purposefully on a bright, imperfect upright piano (yep I can recognize that much just from how it sounds). The skittish drum figure is hard to describe, but it works perfectly to add to the desperate nature of the lyrics. It is almost like the percussive equivalent of a tape that has been overused and has quality issues. I don't know, you have to hear it to understand. The best way to review this intensely touching track is simply to list its lyrics:
When I'm at the pearly gates
This will be on my videotape, my videotape
Mephistopheles is just beneath
and he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
and i have it all here
In red, blue, green
In red, blue, green
You are my center
When i spin away
Out of control on videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Cause I can't do it face to face
I'm talking to you after it's too late
From my videotape
No matter what happens now
You shouldn't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen.
The thing about this album, is it really gets to me. I don't really know why. "In Rainbows" may be the best title they could have chosen for this record - each track (although Radiohead's sound is present) demonstrates a completely different color from them. Despite my few issues with its length and tendency to lean toward to morose sounds, especially on the latter half of the cd, it really is an amazing set of songs. (However as I've said, if the second cd is slightly more upbeat at times, they could work together very well)
The final verdict: Not for everyone, but constructed with the care and nuance of the greatest of classical works. A really excellent, veritable piece of art.
Hey Claudio
You need to write something on here. I don't even care what it is. But you are a CONTRIBUTOR goddammit and until you actually contribute, I'm not havin it.
Life Is Not Worth Living Anymore...
Because I can't drink Miller Lite! So, apparently I'm allergic to whatever they use to make Miller Lite. Over the past couple of weeks I have been getting sicker and sicker every time I drink Miller Lite. This makes me incredibly sad, seeing as how that is my favorite domestic beer. Damn you, allergies!
Hey, Claudio!
Remember that time you almost burned down our apartment? Yeah, don't do that again. Also, if anyone is around that guy, don't give him a lighter. Thanks.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Today is the day...
that I realized I will never be happy in an office. Never be able to smile from a paycheck that comes from a suit. Never be able to enjoy what so many people in the white collar sector do. And yet, I am perplexed as to whether or not I should really care.
Dont get me wrong, I do still want to get into journalism, but not where I would be sitting in an office and re-writing stories that come directly from the AP wire. Because that would just bore the shit out of me.
Anyway, it all comes down to this: I got my third paycheck today. The third check that I have gotten since getting back on the line and cooking. And, you know what? I appreciated the hell out of this check. You know when the last time I felt proud about getting a check was? Neither do I. Where I worked before...well, I was an unapologetic shitty employee. I will never apologize for that because of the bullshit that the job entailed. It was not hard. It was not thought provoking. It was not stressful. It did nothing to interest me in any way other than to give me a great reason to hash out arguments with coworkers over why such and such boss sucked and why such and such policy was completely dick-tooled. The job bored the ever living shit out of me and absolutely made me feel a sincere disgust for that kind of work.
I know, I cannot assume that all office work is like that. Hell, I presume that it is not, yet I cannot get that awful taste out of my mouth about office work in general. It just seems that so little productivity comes out of an actual office. Numbers move. Letters get printed. However, actuall physical productivity does not really show itself. Sad.
So yeah. I cook for a living. The end result of what I have done is no more important to me than what I used to do. You like my food? Good, because I could give a shit if you do. I like it. I think that I did a fan-fucking-tastic job getting it right. Go fuck yourself if you dont like my fries. The point is that I had a damn good time getting there.
Maybe none of this is cohesive. Maybe none of this makes any sense whatsoever. I'm not really sure where any of this is supposed to be going. I do, however, know that I am having a great/interesting time right now.
And I do not miss purple.
Dont get me wrong, I do still want to get into journalism, but not where I would be sitting in an office and re-writing stories that come directly from the AP wire. Because that would just bore the shit out of me.
Anyway, it all comes down to this: I got my third paycheck today. The third check that I have gotten since getting back on the line and cooking. And, you know what? I appreciated the hell out of this check. You know when the last time I felt proud about getting a check was? Neither do I. Where I worked before...well, I was an unapologetic shitty employee. I will never apologize for that because of the bullshit that the job entailed. It was not hard. It was not thought provoking. It was not stressful. It did nothing to interest me in any way other than to give me a great reason to hash out arguments with coworkers over why such and such boss sucked and why such and such policy was completely dick-tooled. The job bored the ever living shit out of me and absolutely made me feel a sincere disgust for that kind of work.
I know, I cannot assume that all office work is like that. Hell, I presume that it is not, yet I cannot get that awful taste out of my mouth about office work in general. It just seems that so little productivity comes out of an actual office. Numbers move. Letters get printed. However, actuall physical productivity does not really show itself. Sad.
So yeah. I cook for a living. The end result of what I have done is no more important to me than what I used to do. You like my food? Good, because I could give a shit if you do. I like it. I think that I did a fan-fucking-tastic job getting it right. Go fuck yourself if you dont like my fries. The point is that I had a damn good time getting there.
Maybe none of this is cohesive. Maybe none of this makes any sense whatsoever. I'm not really sure where any of this is supposed to be going. I do, however, know that I am having a great/interesting time right now.
And I do not miss purple.
WYR's Triumphant Return!
That's right folks! WYR is officially back on the Daily Clusterfuck, thanks as always goes to College Humor and Streeter. So without further delay...
Would you rather...
Have a girl fall sleep while you are having sex or have her tell you to "just stop" because she is going to fall asleep?
I'm going to go with the falling asleep while having sex because at least that way I get to finish. Let's just be honest who cares about anything else at that point. I know, the true sounds of a man who is not getting any...thanks.
Get shot in the leg or stabbed in the arm?
Stabbed. Gun shots require surgery and pierce some crazy ass things when those bullets enter your body, especially in your leg. This is not to say that a knife could not nick something too, but you get my point.
Be able to draw perfect geometrical shapes or be able to write in Times New Roman font?
I don't really know how either of these benefits you in any way, shape (no pun intended), or form. I personally have very good handwriting so I'm gonna take the shapes.
Run a mile on scalding hot concrete or swim half a mile in freezing cold water?
I couldn't swim a half mile in any water let alone freezing water. If the question was more specific then it would have said "run a mile barefoot on scalding hot concrete" because I would love to run a mile with shoes on. That'd be okay on that "scalding hot" concrete.
Have to swear in every sentence you speak or be limited to a third grade vocabulary?
I pretty much swear in every sentence already.
Have body hair that is constantly growing or have a cone head that grows two inches every year?
Body hair constantly growing can be managed but that cone head just sounds awful. Just awful.
Eat a whole can of dog food or a whole tube of toothpaste?
I guess dog food because just swallowing a little toothpaste can get your stomach a little rumbly. I need to eat something now. Something real people eat.
Would you rather...
Have a girl fall sleep while you are having sex or have her tell you to "just stop" because she is going to fall asleep?
I'm going to go with the falling asleep while having sex because at least that way I get to finish. Let's just be honest who cares about anything else at that point. I know, the true sounds of a man who is not getting any...thanks.
Get shot in the leg or stabbed in the arm?
Stabbed. Gun shots require surgery and pierce some crazy ass things when those bullets enter your body, especially in your leg. This is not to say that a knife could not nick something too, but you get my point.
Be able to draw perfect geometrical shapes or be able to write in Times New Roman font?
I don't really know how either of these benefits you in any way, shape (no pun intended), or form. I personally have very good handwriting so I'm gonna take the shapes.
Run a mile on scalding hot concrete or swim half a mile in freezing cold water?
I couldn't swim a half mile in any water let alone freezing water. If the question was more specific then it would have said "run a mile barefoot on scalding hot concrete" because I would love to run a mile with shoes on. That'd be okay on that "scalding hot" concrete.
Have to swear in every sentence you speak or be limited to a third grade vocabulary?
I pretty much swear in every sentence already.
Have body hair that is constantly growing or have a cone head that grows two inches every year?
Body hair constantly growing can be managed but that cone head just sounds awful. Just awful.
Eat a whole can of dog food or a whole tube of toothpaste?
I guess dog food because just swallowing a little toothpaste can get your stomach a little rumbly. I need to eat something now. Something real people eat.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Radiohead. T-minus... something
THANK YOU FOR ORDERING IN RAINBOWS. THIS IS AN UPDATE.
YOUR UNIQUE ACTIVATION CODE(S) WILL BE SENT OUT TOMORROW MORNING (UK TIME). THIS WILL TAKE YOU STRAIGHT TO THE DOWNLOAD AREA.
HERE IS SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE DOWNLOAD:
THE ALBUM WILL COME AS A 48.4MB ZIP FILE CONTAINING 10 X 160KBPS DRM FREE MP3s.
MOST COMPUTERS NOW HAVE ZIP SOFTWARE AS PART OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM; IF YOUR COMPUTER DOES NOT, YOU NEED TO GET WINZIP OR ZIPIT INSTALLED PRIOR.
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THEM HERE:
PC: http://www.winzip.com/
MAC: http://www.maczipit.com/
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR PROBLEMS DOWNLOADING YOUR FILE, PLEASE CONTACT OUR DOWNLOAD CUSTOMER SERVICE TEAM AT
downloadinrainbows@waste.uk.com
Tomorrow morning UK time?
What's that supposed to mean?
I suppose I'll just wake up at like 7 tomorrow and go from there (I have class ALL DAY tomorrow, and frankly, I'm not waiting that long to listen...
Only concern... 48.4 mb... I'll be honest, that's not that long. I mean, 45mins (which is about the length of most of their albums) so no worries. I'm just RIDICULOUSLY SPOILED by the groups I've been listening to recently releasing 60-79.5 minute albums.
I can't wait
YOUR UNIQUE ACTIVATION CODE(S) WILL BE SENT OUT TOMORROW MORNING (UK TIME). THIS WILL TAKE YOU STRAIGHT TO THE DOWNLOAD AREA.
HERE IS SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE DOWNLOAD:
THE ALBUM WILL COME AS A 48.4MB ZIP FILE CONTAINING 10 X 160KBPS DRM FREE MP3s.
MOST COMPUTERS NOW HAVE ZIP SOFTWARE AS PART OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM; IF YOUR COMPUTER DOES NOT, YOU NEED TO GET WINZIP OR ZIPIT INSTALLED PRIOR.
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THEM HERE:
PC: http://www.winzip.com/
MAC: http://www.maczipit.com/
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR PROBLEMS DOWNLOADING YOUR FILE, PLEASE CONTACT OUR DOWNLOAD CUSTOMER SERVICE TEAM AT
downloadinrainbows@waste.uk.com
Tomorrow morning UK time?
What's that supposed to mean?
I suppose I'll just wake up at like 7 tomorrow and go from there (I have class ALL DAY tomorrow, and frankly, I'm not waiting that long to listen...
Only concern... 48.4 mb... I'll be honest, that's not that long. I mean, 45mins (which is about the length of most of their albums) so no worries. I'm just RIDICULOUSLY SPOILED by the groups I've been listening to recently releasing 60-79.5 minute albums.
I can't wait
Monday, October 8, 2007
List Time!!!
How do you know you are not drinking the Right wine? "I want to go to a bar. Bleh. Drinking a shit ton of red wine by myself is not as fun as you might think. It's FUN! but not THAT fun"
The new Freezepop CD is fantastic. So far. Well, I am actually only 3 songs in...but that is about how much I assume most actual critics pay attention to an album. Though, this version of Less Talk More Rokk is not nearly as good as it is in Guitar Hero.
Ads just got fun again...
I just started getting around double the hours at work, which puts me at full-time. Which means that I am only moderately poor.
I cannot WAIT for Heroes tonight. Guess why I am killing time on the blog? Because I have to or I will cry about not seeing Heroes yet.
Goerge and I watched The Family Stone today. It was amazing. My sister and mom had told me about how funny it was, but they sometimes suck at picking movies. Well, this has gone into my "Top Five Movies Set Around Christmas that Are Not Christmas Movies" list. Currently, that makes two movies I can think of taking up the whole list.
I have this weird chest congestion lately. I would say it was from smoking cigarettes, but I am actually not smoking as much these days. I feel like I can only blame shitty beer that I have been drinking. I know not how that would work, but I feel like it does.
Emma Watson is not 18 until April. Goddamnit.
And lastly, why have I not heard of Xtube until now? Oh the keyboard will be sticky. So very sticky. Mmmm...
The new Freezepop CD is fantastic. So far. Well, I am actually only 3 songs in...but that is about how much I assume most actual critics pay attention to an album. Though, this version of Less Talk More Rokk is not nearly as good as it is in Guitar Hero.
Ads just got fun again...
I just started getting around double the hours at work, which puts me at full-time. Which means that I am only moderately poor.
I cannot WAIT for Heroes tonight. Guess why I am killing time on the blog? Because I have to or I will cry about not seeing Heroes yet.
Goerge and I watched The Family Stone today. It was amazing. My sister and mom had told me about how funny it was, but they sometimes suck at picking movies. Well, this has gone into my "Top Five Movies Set Around Christmas that Are Not Christmas Movies" list. Currently, that makes two movies I can think of taking up the whole list.
I have this weird chest congestion lately. I would say it was from smoking cigarettes, but I am actually not smoking as much these days. I feel like I can only blame shitty beer that I have been drinking. I know not how that would work, but I feel like it does.
Emma Watson is not 18 until April. Goddamnit.
And lastly, why have I not heard of Xtube until now? Oh the keyboard will be sticky. So very sticky. Mmmm...
Sorry for the Lack of Posting...
I blame the communists.
They are Party Animals! Get it? I made a pun...cause I am awesome.
They are Party Animals! Get it? I made a pun...cause I am awesome.
College Football Power Rankings
As you all know I love college football. If you watched this last week you will see why that is true.
- Stanford with a HUGE upset of USC 24-23 on a TD pass with 40 seconds left.
- Northwestern beating MSU in OT 48-41
- LSU coming down to the wire against Florida, to whom they trailed all day, but winning 28-24
- An unknown team named South Florida making it into the Top 5!
- Overall competitive football in the Big Ten for the first time in a while with the aforementioned State game as well as Illinois beating Wisconsin to end the longest winning streak in the nation.
Those are just some of many stories from another week in college football. Here are the new power rankings of the week courtesy of Rivals.com, read them and be amazed.
- Stanford with a HUGE upset of USC 24-23 on a TD pass with 40 seconds left.
- Northwestern beating MSU in OT 48-41
- LSU coming down to the wire against Florida, to whom they trailed all day, but winning 28-24
- An unknown team named South Florida making it into the Top 5!
- Overall competitive football in the Big Ten for the first time in a while with the aforementioned State game as well as Illinois beating Wisconsin to end the longest winning streak in the nation.
Those are just some of many stories from another week in college football. Here are the new power rankings of the week courtesy of Rivals.com, read them and be amazed.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Thanks for the guilt trip
Just kidding dude. I have been working my ass off (I am currently on my sixth straight day, which today was 12 hours, and I finish my stretch with day number seven tomorrow). I will try harder. I will say this...I could not have been more ecstatic then when I saw the Stanford beat USC yesterday!! Go Cardinal!
I am currently working on the next installment of the Weekly WYR though! Be excited!!
I am currently working on the next installment of the Weekly WYR though! Be excited!!
Sorry Cottonmouth
I was too busy working about 30 hours in the past 3 days to care about posting on here. Also, I was very fucking drunk last night. I just haven't had the chance to post something of importance. I will leave you with this nugget..."everything was going great, but you threw the kittens again!"
Oral Sex: The Business Plan
I try not to steal too many things from College Humor, but this was great...
Also, I'm gettin sick of being the only person who ever posts on here. While you guys are busy getting laid, or not getting laid and complaining about it, or drinking and partying, or having fun, or actually enjoying your lives, I'm busy...
hating life. And writing on the blog. Because I have nothing better to do.
Oh blog, you're the only one who listens. And so together you and I shall conquer the Earth.
STARTING WITH LIECHTENSTEIN (let's be honest no one knows about that country anyway... next we'll head to Andorra, and if things go well, LUXEMBOURG SHALL BE OURS)
Here's to taking out the world one small unknown nation at a time.
Cottonmouth out
Also, I'm gettin sick of being the only person who ever posts on here. While you guys are busy getting laid, or not getting laid and complaining about it, or drinking and partying, or having fun, or actually enjoying your lives, I'm busy...
hating life. And writing on the blog. Because I have nothing better to do.
Oh blog, you're the only one who listens. And so together you and I shall conquer the Earth.
STARTING WITH LIECHTENSTEIN (let's be honest no one knows about that country anyway... next we'll head to Andorra, and if things go well, LUXEMBOURG SHALL BE OURS)
Here's to taking out the world one small unknown nation at a time.
Cottonmouth out
I Love My...
...Cocktail Shaker.
My mixed drinks are so delicious now.
Perfectly chilled
Totally mixed
Just the right amount of water from the ice
It's like a veritable alcohol orgasm.
So the question is:
When are y'all gonna come down here so I can make delicious cocktails for you? :)
My mixed drinks are so delicious now.
Perfectly chilled
Totally mixed
Just the right amount of water from the ice
It's like a veritable alcohol orgasm.
So the question is:
When are y'all gonna come down here so I can make delicious cocktails for you? :)
Iron Chef America
So I'm not such a fun of the American version. I LOVE Japanese Iron Chef. But the ingredients in America are SO boring.
Battle Shrimp?
Battle FROZEN PEAS?
I mean, I know the point of this competition is to show your ability to work with anything, but in the Japanese version I've seen soft-shelled turtle and sea urchin. Is american cuisine REALLY that boring? I mean, even a strange vegetable would be more interesting.
Boo Iron Chef America. Boo
time to get DRUNK!
Battle Shrimp?
Battle FROZEN PEAS?
I mean, I know the point of this competition is to show your ability to work with anything, but in the Japanese version I've seen soft-shelled turtle and sea urchin. Is american cuisine REALLY that boring? I mean, even a strange vegetable would be more interesting.
Boo Iron Chef America. Boo
time to get DRUNK!
It's Official...
I absolutely suck at the game. I had ample opportunity to sleep with this girl and I fucking blew it every time. She even asked if she could stay here for the night, which right there should of been an in, but that was the last time I saw her all night. Why the fuck does this shit happen? Why do guys always have to initiate things? She fucking knew I was interested. Fucking bitch was probably enjoying herself watching me make a fool out of myself. Damn fucking shit ass piss I need to get laid. But I also need to do that when I'm not completely wasted.
I Closed...
I FUCKING CLOSED. And you know what? I still got screwed over. You know why? Because some bitch fucking knocked on the door and said that she could not find her clothes. Fuck that. Find them in the morning.
Im pissed.
And you know what else?
This sucks.
Im pissed.
And you know what else?
This sucks.
Set Strike
or "Why My Job is Preventing Me From Having Any Semblance of a Social Life"
So it's 2. and I just got home from work. Yep, that's two saturday nights in a row that have been ruined. Next weekend is Chicago, then I should have a weekend off before the wedding (although D+J really want me to come up for their respective bitrthdays, but I just don't think I have the time or money to do it :( ). Then shit hits the fan with Boheme. I mean, besides the boheme cast party, I literally have no opportunity to go out on a Saturday night til... December. Essentially.
Grrr.
At least I LOVE the people I work with. I should try to round up a group of them to party
So it's 2. and I just got home from work. Yep, that's two saturday nights in a row that have been ruined. Next weekend is Chicago, then I should have a weekend off before the wedding (although D+J really want me to come up for their respective bitrthdays, but I just don't think I have the time or money to do it :( ). Then shit hits the fan with Boheme. I mean, besides the boheme cast party, I literally have no opportunity to go out on a Saturday night til... December. Essentially.
Grrr.
At least I LOVE the people I work with. I should try to round up a group of them to party
You Know Those Times...
...When you totally have a chance to score and you totally fuck it up. Yeah! FUCK ME!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Yes!
I totally found the STS9 set from clutch cargos. FUCK YEAH!!!
I'll have to share that around...
And I promise I'll try to knock it off with the ridiculously short posts that are useless. I'm just bored. and lonely
I'll have to share that around...
And I promise I'll try to knock it off with the ridiculously short posts that are useless. I'm just bored. and lonely
Friday, October 5, 2007
Pandora Radio
So this is something that's been around for a while, but I wanted to bring your attention to it.
www.pandora.com
It's a site where you can (for free) put in an artist or song you like, and it will create a radio station of music that has similar musical qualities (and they're pretty intelligent). I've already found several new bands that I really enjoy, and it's a lot of fun to see what the site deems the "characteristics" of bands you like. Definitely worth checking out!
www.pandora.com
It's a site where you can (for free) put in an artist or song you like, and it will create a radio station of music that has similar musical qualities (and they're pretty intelligent). I've already found several new bands that I really enjoy, and it's a lot of fun to see what the site deems the "characteristics" of bands you like. Definitely worth checking out!
I'm at Work
So work currently rules my life. in a bad way. So I'm sticking it to the man, pulling a Kiznox, and blogging at work. on a light bridge. 100 ft above the stage. or maybe 50. I'm a terrible judge of distance.
So Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night=amazing. Especially the second one. The scene with Dee climbing on fire out of the well and throwing the box of kittens? Classic television. Drawn together was pretty good as well, although I think I like that show better when I'm stoned.
Actually I know I like it better when I'm stoned. I like everything better when I'm stoned.
I found a new fun music group called Modeselektor. Thom Yorke likes them a lot. And, not surprisingly, I do too. I also thoroughly enjoyed the Audioslave self titled cd last night. Now I need to listen to the Rage album I got and the other modeselektor album - some tasks for tonight.
I want to go to a bar. Bleh. Drinking a shit ton of red wine by myself is not as fun as you might think. It's FUN! but not THAT fun
So Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night=amazing. Especially the second one. The scene with Dee climbing on fire out of the well and throwing the box of kittens? Classic television. Drawn together was pretty good as well, although I think I like that show better when I'm stoned.
Actually I know I like it better when I'm stoned. I like everything better when I'm stoned.
I found a new fun music group called Modeselektor. Thom Yorke likes them a lot. And, not surprisingly, I do too. I also thoroughly enjoyed the Audioslave self titled cd last night. Now I need to listen to the Rage album I got and the other modeselektor album - some tasks for tonight.
I want to go to a bar. Bleh. Drinking a shit ton of red wine by myself is not as fun as you might think. It's FUN! but not THAT fun
Hurry!!!
Call now and get yours, before it's too late!!!
Get some ASS!!!
Hey, can I borrow someone's sex dice?
Get some ASS!!!
Hey, can I borrow someone's sex dice?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
More Good News in the Music World
Muse is on track to self-produce their next album to ensure complete creative license over what they do. It will apparently have more electronic influence and may employ a full orchestra. And they're already working on new songs. So... I can't wait til their tour ends... So they can get on that.
Here's hoping - NIN LP 6 and Muse LP 5 sometime next year. Probably wishful thinking, but I need something to keep me looking forward. Not like my future or anything. New music by my favorite bands. :)
Here's hoping - NIN LP 6 and Muse LP 5 sometime next year. Probably wishful thinking, but I need something to keep me looking forward. Not like my future or anything. New music by my favorite bands. :)
Saw IV
Just saw a preview. Looks terrible.
that's it.
I can think of terrible violent ways for people to die too. It doesn't make me a film-maker. It doesn't make me a psychopath. It means I have an imagination. and it's dark. congratulations.
that's it.
I can think of terrible violent ways for people to die too. It doesn't make me a film-maker. It doesn't make me a psychopath. It means I have an imagination. and it's dark. congratulations.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Billboard Hot 100
I did it. I read the Billboard Hot 100. I knew I wasn't gonna like it. But I didn't realize it would be this bad:
The top 10:
1
Soulja Boy Tell'em
Crank That (Soulja Boy)
2
Kanye West
Stronger
3
Timbaland Featuring Keri Hilson
The Way I Are
4
Fergie
Big Girls Don't Cry
5
J. Holiday
Bed
6
50 Cent Featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Ayo Technology
7
Keyshia Cole Featuring Missy Elliott & Lil Kim
Let It Go
8
Nickelback
Rockstar
9
Pink
Who Knew
10
Colbie Caillat
Bubbly
Really?
REALLY?
I mean... Is the only rock song in the top 10 most popular REALLY by Nickelback? And the other leaders. Pink. Kanye West. Fergie with Big Girls Don't Cry. At number four. THAT SONG HAS EVIDENTLY BEEN IN THE TOP 100 FOR 23 WEEKS. THAT'S THREE WEEKS SHORT OF HALF OF A FUCKING YEAR. And Carrie Underwood has been on the chart for 56 weeks.
There's a part of me that feels like I'm going to vomit. like every part of it.
I hate pop culture. I hate it. I want to go to a frat-asshole/sorostitute heavy bar with a baseball bat and start going to town. And I don't mean hitting groundballs. I mean beating the life out of everyone I see. In a blind rage. Screaming "YOU HAVE BAD MUSIC TASTE. YOU DON'T EVEN BUMP AND GRIND TO LEGITIMATE MUSIC. I HOPE THEY HAVE NOTHING BUT BADLY SUNG OPERA WAITING FOR YOU IN HELL YOU UNCULTURED BASTARDS AND BITCHES"
Call me closed minded. Call me a bastard. I dance at those bars too. but for CHRIST SAKE there is BETTER MUSIC OUT THERE. Have your guilty pleasures. But realize that there are better things out there. So I can sleep at night...
RRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The top 10:
1
Soulja Boy Tell'em
Crank That (Soulja Boy)
2
Kanye West
Stronger
3
Timbaland Featuring Keri Hilson
The Way I Are
4
Fergie
Big Girls Don't Cry
5
J. Holiday
Bed
6
50 Cent Featuring Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Ayo Technology
7
Keyshia Cole Featuring Missy Elliott & Lil Kim
Let It Go
8
Nickelback
Rockstar
9
Pink
Who Knew
10
Colbie Caillat
Bubbly
Really?
REALLY?
I mean... Is the only rock song in the top 10 most popular REALLY by Nickelback? And the other leaders. Pink. Kanye West. Fergie with Big Girls Don't Cry. At number four. THAT SONG HAS EVIDENTLY BEEN IN THE TOP 100 FOR 23 WEEKS. THAT'S THREE WEEKS SHORT OF HALF OF A FUCKING YEAR. And Carrie Underwood has been on the chart for 56 weeks.
There's a part of me that feels like I'm going to vomit. like every part of it.
I hate pop culture. I hate it. I want to go to a frat-asshole/sorostitute heavy bar with a baseball bat and start going to town. And I don't mean hitting groundballs. I mean beating the life out of everyone I see. In a blind rage. Screaming "YOU HAVE BAD MUSIC TASTE. YOU DON'T EVEN BUMP AND GRIND TO LEGITIMATE MUSIC. I HOPE THEY HAVE NOTHING BUT BADLY SUNG OPERA WAITING FOR YOU IN HELL YOU UNCULTURED BASTARDS AND BITCHES"
Call me closed minded. Call me a bastard. I dance at those bars too. but for CHRIST SAKE there is BETTER MUSIC OUT THERE. Have your guilty pleasures. But realize that there are better things out there. So I can sleep at night...
RRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
blurbs
So first off, my mom is PISSED about this not shaving thing. So let the battle royale between my mom and a famous director begin. She doesn't want me to look "like a scuzz for Sian's wedding". Yep my mom called me a scuzz. What exactly does that mean.
Someone's gonna sue South Park for this week. Seriously. Aw Shit! :)
I kinda have a crush on Whopper Jr. in the commercials. I just think he's good looking. Is that REALLY weird? Probably
Who are you people praying to, Jesus of Noise-areth? I have to admit I enjoy Sarah Silverman.
One week and counting til Radiohead. YES!!!
I got NO game down here. It's annoying. Meeting people was easier in Michigan. I can't believe I just said that.
Also - I'm in really good shape right now because I've been working my fucking ass off. So... yay! But that doesn't change the fact that there aren't nearly enough good guys around here.
sorry... good GAY guys
Watching South Park and knowing my brethren and sistren are up in Michigan doing the same made me feel connected for a short amount of time. I miss home still.
Bassnectar/Chicago trip next weekend. Yeah!
anyway, that's it. Cottonmouth out. To drink more Cabernet Sauvignon. By myself. While watching tv.
Someone's gonna sue South Park for this week. Seriously. Aw Shit! :)
I kinda have a crush on Whopper Jr. in the commercials. I just think he's good looking. Is that REALLY weird? Probably
Who are you people praying to, Jesus of Noise-areth? I have to admit I enjoy Sarah Silverman.
One week and counting til Radiohead. YES!!!
I got NO game down here. It's annoying. Meeting people was easier in Michigan. I can't believe I just said that.
Also - I'm in really good shape right now because I've been working my fucking ass off. So... yay! But that doesn't change the fact that there aren't nearly enough good guys around here.
sorry... good GAY guys
Watching South Park and knowing my brethren and sistren are up in Michigan doing the same made me feel connected for a short amount of time. I miss home still.
Bassnectar/Chicago trip next weekend. Yeah!
anyway, that's it. Cottonmouth out. To drink more Cabernet Sauvignon. By myself. While watching tv.
The things I do for my art...
So starting today, up until the show goes up the second week of November, I'm not allowed to cut my hair. No biggie.
I'm also not allowed to shave.
That one might be more of an issue.
So for all of us who have wondered what would happen if I grew out my facial hair (and if I'm going to have an embarassingly uneven moustache from the scar on my lip, or embarassingly uneven facial hair because I look like I still haven't finished puberty) now we'll know. The longest I've gone without shaving in the last few months is probably a week. this should be funny ;)
I'm also not allowed to shave.
That one might be more of an issue.
So for all of us who have wondered what would happen if I grew out my facial hair (and if I'm going to have an embarassingly uneven moustache from the scar on my lip, or embarassingly uneven facial hair because I look like I still haven't finished puberty) now we'll know. The longest I've gone without shaving in the last few months is probably a week. this should be funny ;)
Got this in an email
GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES FOR 2007
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keep sakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.
New Rule:There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell If he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days --- mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keep sakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.
New Rule:There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell If he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'
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