So in light of my pending completion of my degree, and the fact that I go to court on January 12 and will subsequently be on probation, I have decided to come home for a few weeks over break and really do it right. So I will be in Rochester from a few days before Christmas until sometime between the 9th and 12th of January. I'm not able to drive until the end of January, so if you want to see me (hint hint) you're going to have to visit me. This may be the closest I get to home for a while so I hope I get to spend a bunch of time with all of you. I took a plea bargain so I'll have the standard faire - year probation, classes, 50 hours community service, 90 license suspension, etc. Once again I don't know if people will check this, but it's at least a little bit more personal than Facebook.
See you in a few weeks! :)
Friday, December 4, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Update
Allow me to join the ranks of those before me with criminal records. I got an OWI last Wednesday night (DUI to you guys, whatever, you get it) and spent a miserable 11 hours surrounded by people puking and pissing all over the drunk tank. So just so you all know, I'll be on probation starting probably in a few weeks, but this is just about the least of my concerns in my life, besides the amount of money I don't have that it's going to cost me. I don't think anyone even comes on here anymore but if you do there's your update.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Oh Nickelback, You Suck
This is a wikipedia tribute to how much they suck. Thanks, CollegeHumor.com
Every Nickelback Wikipedia Page Vandalism Ever
Also, here's a picture of their album art for All The Right Reasons. Oh yeah, they totally stole that. Way to be original, douchebags
Every Nickelback Wikipedia Page Vandalism Ever
Also, here's a picture of their album art for All The Right Reasons. Oh yeah, they totally stole that. Way to be original, douchebags
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Worst of the Worst
Rotten Tomatoes put together this movie list of the worst of the worst movies of all time based upon their user ratings. Some I have never heard of, so not sure how bad they really are, but some you will find definitely deserve to be on here. Enjoy!
Monday, September 28, 2009
FUCK COMCAST
So I get a letter from comcast explaining how my rate for JUST INTERNET is jumping from 30/month to 60/month on my next bill. And I was aware of this. But I can't wait to call them tomorrow and fucking yell at someone until they keep me on the lower price because comcast internet is truly the worst pile of shit I've ever seen. Our internet tends to cut in and out just about half the time I'm online - in fact it is now. This internet service is NOT worth 60 dollars. It's not even worth 30 frankly. so by raising enough of a fuss I'll give them two options:
1) Keep me at 30 dollars/month or
2) Lose me as a customer
FUCK YOU COMCAST. FUCK YOU IN YOUR GODDAMN BLEEDING CUNT
also I found out today that a class (my independent study) MAGICALLY disappeared from my schedule over the summer so now in order to graduate I have to enroll in it - which seems intelligent to me, but of course this now means I'm paying $3500 out of pocket. i.e. my approximate net worth
fml
1) Keep me at 30 dollars/month or
2) Lose me as a customer
FUCK YOU COMCAST. FUCK YOU IN YOUR GODDAMN BLEEDING CUNT
also I found out today that a class (my independent study) MAGICALLY disappeared from my schedule over the summer so now in order to graduate I have to enroll in it - which seems intelligent to me, but of course this now means I'm paying $3500 out of pocket. i.e. my approximate net worth
fml
Sunday, September 27, 2009
NPH
Yes, I'm talking about Neil Patrick Harris. He's fucking awesome. I watched part of Harold & Kumar 2 earlier today and just reaffirmed how awesome the guy really is. He brings fun and entertaining to every performance he does. He's a drugged up, revved up, oversexed ball of hilarity in Harold & Kumar. I honestly don't really remember his roll on Doogie Howser, because I was really young, but everything else I've seen him in has been gold. Starship Troopers was a greatly underapprieciated film. NPH didn't have a huge part in the movie, but it was great when he was on screen. In the show How I Met Your Mother, NPH plays a hilarious womanizer with amazing "wisdom" to unload on the other character. Again, his part in both Harold & Kumar movies were top notch. He is probably the funniest gay guy in Hollywood. Cottonmouth, he's all yours. The reason I bring this up is twofold: 1) This blog is super boring and 2) I wanted to show you this video. It's over 40 minutes long, but its good nonetheless.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Resistance
Here's my official review.
I couldn't agree more with what's been said: meh...
This is an example of a band getting too crazy in the studio and ending up producing something that sounds overwrought and, at times, dare I say a little ridiculous.
It starts out good - Uprising is a good classic style Muse song, with a good hook, and Resistance is a decent song as well (even though the beginning of it is literally the EXACT same as the middle of Citizen Erased off of OoS- come on Matt Bellamy). Two decent tracks, but the beginning of this album has NOTHING on their previous albums. The first time I heard the beginning of Absolution, I knew right then I had to buy the cd just based on one track - and the other albums have similarly explosive beginnings... not so here. If Uprising was the only Muse track I'd ever heard, I don't think I'd give them a chance.
Undisclosed Desires could have caught my attention if it was fleshed out a little better, but I like the chorus, so I'll let it slide as just being a little bit of a throwaway - it'd probably be sweet live though. I like the 80s synth-pop Culture Club kinda sound to it.
Now here is where things get weird. Eurasia just tries to be too epic and ends up coming across as sounding pretty stupid in my opinion. Yeah, we get it, you're channelling Queen... but that was a different time and they created that sound for themselves. Unlike the nods to Queen in BHaR (Soldiers Poem and Knights of Cydonia), Eurasia's "Queen" moments sound out of place and weird. And yeah, we get it you're using the model of the United States for some dystopian future supercountry. But where the political messages were at the exact right time in BHaR, now it just seems like a tired cliche. And Collateral Damage - which is actually just an unnecessarily long quotation of Chopin's famous Eb major nocturne... only with a bunch of wrong notes - is totally unnecessary.
Guiding Light? Boring. Boring. Boring. I've only made it through this track once. It's repetitive, tacky, boring, easily the worst track they have ever written in my opinion. Now looking back on the first couple tracks of this album, you can see its biggest flaw: Muse kinda forgot they were a kickass rock band. No sweet guitar solos, or memorable bass lines, or furious piano/synthesizer arpeggios. It's just all kinda blah. Besides a few nice moments in the first few tracks, there is really no substance here. But then...
THANK FUCKING GOD WE ACTUALLY HAVE A ROCK SONG. Unnatural Selection rocks. Easily one of my favorite tracks on the album. Lightning fast transitions and a good riff. This reminds me of some of their older tracks. Not much to talk about besides that.
MK Ultra is my favorite track. I think it's the most unique and clever track of the album. It's beautiful and rocks at the same time, and it never gets old. This is the one track I've been listening to with great regularity
I Belong to You starts out promising (besides the ridiculously badly conceived "woo!" at the beginning. wtf) Nice funky riff, and the squelchy acid-y bass sound that I always love. But then again with the extensive classical quotations! This time it's from Samson and Delilah. In interviews, Matt Bellamy discussed his experiences seeing the Vienna Opera, and how moving it was. Which is fine, but again - you're a rock band. It almost feels like Muse is pushing to see just how "anti-rock" they can get before they complete alienate their audience. And then when the fast part comes back we're greeted with a rockin... bass clarinet solo. Read those words again. Bass clarinet solo. This is another example of this pushing the envelope too far. And honestly, it could have worked, but whoever's playing is doing it SO unmusically that it may as well be a midi file.
And now we reach the Exogenesis symphony. Which is ok. I like the first "movement" the best out of the three - probably the first time they've successfully created the epic sound they've been trying to create for the whole album. The second and third parts are fine, but it's more of that slow, meandering, unmemorable music. Kind of like the beginning of Invincible before the sweet guitar solo in it.
There are certainly some great moments in The Resistance, but it's like Muse is just yelling "we're a great band! we'll be one of the best! we're going to change music forever!". What were intended to be nods to great musicians and composers end up sounding like self-righteous bullshit, and coming from a classically trained musician, usually end up making Matt Bellamy seem less talented than he actually is - the Chopin Nocturne, in particular, just reeks to me of people I'd always meet who really weren't that great of pianists but would learn to play the same 5 songs in a really half assed way to show off to people, even if their memorization wasn't quite right or even if it was a little sloppy - it's classical music for idiots (no offense meant by that comment, I know it's really elitist of me to say). When Black Holes and Revelations came out I couldn't stop listening to it. Literally. for months. I was finding new things in each track with every listen, and I loved it. I have only listened to The Resistance once all the way through. And I had to check with myself to make sure it wasn't just because my music tastes have changed (because admittedly, I didn't listen to Uplifter or Mantis nearly as much as I should have - the latter I'm listening to more again now :) ). But it's just that The Resistance isn't that strong of an album.
Muse tried to write their Magnum Opus, their Rock Opera. And it just didn't work. Too much strings, too little shredding, too much classical, not enough rock, too much quoting others, not enough coming up with something interesting to say. Well at least we got a couple good tracks out of it...
-Cottonmouth Out
I couldn't agree more with what's been said: meh...
This is an example of a band getting too crazy in the studio and ending up producing something that sounds overwrought and, at times, dare I say a little ridiculous.
It starts out good - Uprising is a good classic style Muse song, with a good hook, and Resistance is a decent song as well (even though the beginning of it is literally the EXACT same as the middle of Citizen Erased off of OoS- come on Matt Bellamy). Two decent tracks, but the beginning of this album has NOTHING on their previous albums. The first time I heard the beginning of Absolution, I knew right then I had to buy the cd just based on one track - and the other albums have similarly explosive beginnings... not so here. If Uprising was the only Muse track I'd ever heard, I don't think I'd give them a chance.
Undisclosed Desires could have caught my attention if it was fleshed out a little better, but I like the chorus, so I'll let it slide as just being a little bit of a throwaway - it'd probably be sweet live though. I like the 80s synth-pop Culture Club kinda sound to it.
Now here is where things get weird. Eurasia just tries to be too epic and ends up coming across as sounding pretty stupid in my opinion. Yeah, we get it, you're channelling Queen... but that was a different time and they created that sound for themselves. Unlike the nods to Queen in BHaR (Soldiers Poem and Knights of Cydonia), Eurasia's "Queen" moments sound out of place and weird. And yeah, we get it you're using the model of the United States for some dystopian future supercountry. But where the political messages were at the exact right time in BHaR, now it just seems like a tired cliche. And Collateral Damage - which is actually just an unnecessarily long quotation of Chopin's famous Eb major nocturne... only with a bunch of wrong notes - is totally unnecessary.
Guiding Light? Boring. Boring. Boring. I've only made it through this track once. It's repetitive, tacky, boring, easily the worst track they have ever written in my opinion. Now looking back on the first couple tracks of this album, you can see its biggest flaw: Muse kinda forgot they were a kickass rock band. No sweet guitar solos, or memorable bass lines, or furious piano/synthesizer arpeggios. It's just all kinda blah. Besides a few nice moments in the first few tracks, there is really no substance here. But then...
THANK FUCKING GOD WE ACTUALLY HAVE A ROCK SONG. Unnatural Selection rocks. Easily one of my favorite tracks on the album. Lightning fast transitions and a good riff. This reminds me of some of their older tracks. Not much to talk about besides that.
MK Ultra is my favorite track. I think it's the most unique and clever track of the album. It's beautiful and rocks at the same time, and it never gets old. This is the one track I've been listening to with great regularity
I Belong to You starts out promising (besides the ridiculously badly conceived "woo!" at the beginning. wtf) Nice funky riff, and the squelchy acid-y bass sound that I always love. But then again with the extensive classical quotations! This time it's from Samson and Delilah. In interviews, Matt Bellamy discussed his experiences seeing the Vienna Opera, and how moving it was. Which is fine, but again - you're a rock band. It almost feels like Muse is pushing to see just how "anti-rock" they can get before they complete alienate their audience. And then when the fast part comes back we're greeted with a rockin... bass clarinet solo. Read those words again. Bass clarinet solo. This is another example of this pushing the envelope too far. And honestly, it could have worked, but whoever's playing is doing it SO unmusically that it may as well be a midi file.
And now we reach the Exogenesis symphony. Which is ok. I like the first "movement" the best out of the three - probably the first time they've successfully created the epic sound they've been trying to create for the whole album. The second and third parts are fine, but it's more of that slow, meandering, unmemorable music. Kind of like the beginning of Invincible before the sweet guitar solo in it.
There are certainly some great moments in The Resistance, but it's like Muse is just yelling "we're a great band! we'll be one of the best! we're going to change music forever!". What were intended to be nods to great musicians and composers end up sounding like self-righteous bullshit, and coming from a classically trained musician, usually end up making Matt Bellamy seem less talented than he actually is - the Chopin Nocturne, in particular, just reeks to me of people I'd always meet who really weren't that great of pianists but would learn to play the same 5 songs in a really half assed way to show off to people, even if their memorization wasn't quite right or even if it was a little sloppy - it's classical music for idiots (no offense meant by that comment, I know it's really elitist of me to say). When Black Holes and Revelations came out I couldn't stop listening to it. Literally. for months. I was finding new things in each track with every listen, and I loved it. I have only listened to The Resistance once all the way through. And I had to check with myself to make sure it wasn't just because my music tastes have changed (because admittedly, I didn't listen to Uplifter or Mantis nearly as much as I should have - the latter I'm listening to more again now :) ). But it's just that The Resistance isn't that strong of an album.
Muse tried to write their Magnum Opus, their Rock Opera. And it just didn't work. Too much strings, too little shredding, too much classical, not enough rock, too much quoting others, not enough coming up with something interesting to say. Well at least we got a couple good tracks out of it...
-Cottonmouth Out
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
By Now You Probably Know What Kanye Did
This is my review of the MTV Music Awards. Yes, 3 days later. Yes, it's MTV, who gives a shit?
Did anyone watch it? The intro with Madonna talking about Michael Jackson was done with class. The dance tribute after that was awesome, with some screw ups here and there. But I'll allow it...they aren't MJ. Janet singing and dancing to "Scream" was awesome, even if her voice sounded off and she missed a spin. Still an amazing opener.
Russel Brand is alright as a host. He's able to bring the mood up, even with the whole Kanye thing. You know, the thing everyone is talking about. Where, at the beginning of the show, Taylor Swift beat out Beyonce for Best Female Video and (unprovoked) Kayne runs on stage, takes the mic and says that Beyonce should have won. Leaving Taylor standing there dumbfounded. She's like 17 (not sure, don't care). That is just a disrespectful display of shit that Kanye is known for. He's such a douchebag. Glad he got booed off and didn't win anything. The horrible part is that they didn't let her finish. The producers forced her off the stage. Glad to see that they care for anyone. Luckily for Taylor, Beyonce has enough class to bring her back out to finish her speech.
The skits with Eminem and Tracy Morgan were alright.
Taylor Swift had a nice lip-syncing performance. Lady Gaga is fucking nuts. Beyonce had a good performance. Green Day I fast forwarded. Muse was alright, wished for more. Didn't watch Pink but she did some trapeze work.
The worst part of the show for me was the Rock Video of the Year award (I think that what its called). It showed me the horrendously decrepit state of rock and roll nowadays. The songs nominated for Best Rock Video (maybe that's the name of the award) are THE WORST FUCKING DEPICTIONS OF ROCK I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!! They might as well have put Kayne in that race. I wanted to cry. This is why I don't listen to much new music. Because it sucks. I weep for future generations.
Well, something MTV did is garnering buzz around the country. These awards are jokes. Still fun to watch the show. Even if the shit winning is terrible
Did anyone watch it? The intro with Madonna talking about Michael Jackson was done with class. The dance tribute after that was awesome, with some screw ups here and there. But I'll allow it...they aren't MJ. Janet singing and dancing to "Scream" was awesome, even if her voice sounded off and she missed a spin. Still an amazing opener.
Russel Brand is alright as a host. He's able to bring the mood up, even with the whole Kanye thing. You know, the thing everyone is talking about. Where, at the beginning of the show, Taylor Swift beat out Beyonce for Best Female Video and (unprovoked) Kayne runs on stage, takes the mic and says that Beyonce should have won. Leaving Taylor standing there dumbfounded. She's like 17 (not sure, don't care). That is just a disrespectful display of shit that Kanye is known for. He's such a douchebag. Glad he got booed off and didn't win anything. The horrible part is that they didn't let her finish. The producers forced her off the stage. Glad to see that they care for anyone. Luckily for Taylor, Beyonce has enough class to bring her back out to finish her speech.
The skits with Eminem and Tracy Morgan were alright.
Taylor Swift had a nice lip-syncing performance. Lady Gaga is fucking nuts. Beyonce had a good performance. Green Day I fast forwarded. Muse was alright, wished for more. Didn't watch Pink but she did some trapeze work.
The worst part of the show for me was the Rock Video of the Year award (I think that what its called). It showed me the horrendously decrepit state of rock and roll nowadays. The songs nominated for Best Rock Video (maybe that's the name of the award) are THE WORST FUCKING DEPICTIONS OF ROCK I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!! They might as well have put Kayne in that race. I wanted to cry. This is why I don't listen to much new music. Because it sucks. I weep for future generations.
Well, something MTV did is garnering buzz around the country. These awards are jokes. Still fun to watch the show. Even if the shit winning is terrible
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
In Brief
From the LA times review of "The Resistance":
You don't have to make it all the way through "Exogenesis," the three-part symphony that closes the new album, before you start hankering for a Nickelback-style chorus.
WTF??? If there's one thing I NEVER have a hankering for, it's a nickelback style ANYTHING
I'm only on track 3 so far (I've been out and about) but so far it's good - I don't know if it's grabbing me quite as much as Black Holes and Revelations, but I also haven't been smoking when I listen to it and it's still too early to tell... I'll post my full review later
You don't have to make it all the way through "Exogenesis," the three-part symphony that closes the new album, before you start hankering for a Nickelback-style chorus.
WTF??? If there's one thing I NEVER have a hankering for, it's a nickelback style ANYTHING
I'm only on track 3 so far (I've been out and about) but so far it's good - I don't know if it's grabbing me quite as much as Black Holes and Revelations, but I also haven't been smoking when I listen to it and it's still too early to tell... I'll post my full review later
Good News for a Fucking Change
So I got great news today in the form of the fact that I got cast as the character I wanted in the Magic Flute down here (the character is Papageno, the bird catcher). I was up against like 10 other guys and was one of two selected for it - it's a pretty huge deal - he's not the LEAD per se, but I have 3 solo arias, which is more than anyone else in the show, and I'm the comic relief which means I'm gonna be everyone's favorite character. As long as I don't suck at it haha. But yeah, the shows are November 13,14,20,21, the singing is in German and the dialogue is in English (it's about half and half). I would love as many of you as possible to come down here - it's a brand new production so it's liable to be just as impressive as the production for La Boheme when I did it. if you can't make it, it's gonna be streamed in high definition online with subtitles. But yeah... I've been waiting for a week and a half for the casting results and I almost started laughing and crying hysterically when I found out because it's been stressing me out so much. Not only that - but there's probably two songs you'll actually recognize from the show! One of them is used in the red bull commercial where the cat eats the bird (bird catcher- get it?) and the other one is also in a bunch of commercials and such.
So I know I'm rambling but this is like the first exciting thing to happen in my life in weeks besides getting really drunk all the time.
So much love to you all, I will remind you about this when it gets closer, but a road trip down here around that time would be awesome. I'll try to get up there before then, but if not, don't forget I'm not in school anymore next semester... i.e. trip to FL anyone?
-Cottonmouth out
So I know I'm rambling but this is like the first exciting thing to happen in my life in weeks besides getting really drunk all the time.
So much love to you all, I will remind you about this when it gets closer, but a road trip down here around that time would be awesome. I'll try to get up there before then, but if not, don't forget I'm not in school anymore next semester... i.e. trip to FL anyone?
-Cottonmouth out
Mushrooms for Christmas
I didn't read this whole thing (I might eventually) but this is a LONG article discussing the relationship of magic mushrooms to Christmas and Christianity in general. Pretty interesting stuff. Ya know, if you're like me and enjoy mushrooms.
www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/atlantean_conspiracy/atlantean_conspiracy45.htm
my favorite quote:
"If you have mischief, wickedness, or secrecy in you, then entheogens [e.g. natural psychedelics, used for the intention of a religious experience] will take you down into the depths of your own hell. But if you have kindness, love, and truth within you, entheogens will raise you up into the heights of that heaven. When people of a poor disposition or in a negative mood eat magic mushrooms they usually have a “bad trip” and experience frightening or depressing hallucinations."
So what this tells me is I have kindness, love and truth in me :) EDIT: oh, and also mushrooms
www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/atlantean_conspiracy/atlantean_conspiracy45.htm
my favorite quote:
"If you have mischief, wickedness, or secrecy in you, then entheogens [e.g. natural psychedelics, used for the intention of a religious experience] will take you down into the depths of your own hell. But if you have kindness, love, and truth within you, entheogens will raise you up into the heights of that heaven. When people of a poor disposition or in a negative mood eat magic mushrooms they usually have a “bad trip” and experience frightening or depressing hallucinations."
So what this tells me is I have kindness, love and truth in me :) EDIT: oh, and also mushrooms
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Slap Chop Rap
So some guy made this video, and it's pretty amusing.
The hilarious part is that Slap Chop now uses this video for a commercial selling the product. They edited it for time, but they left in the "You're gonna love my nuts" part!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
"It's Always Sunny" Drinking Game
We already used to do something like this but... courtesy of college humor:
-Drink everytime somebody uses the following phrases
--"throwing down life lessons"
--"what's up, bitches?"
--"pop that shirt off"
--"you want 'x' to pop" (ie "you want your muscles to pop," "this will make your eyes pop")
-Drink anytime the Gang mocks one another with a display of fake crying.
-Drink anytime someone in the Gang points something out as racist.
-Drink anytime someone is drinking on the show. 2x drink if it's a member of the gang.
-Drink anytime Dee is referred to as "Sweet Dee" by one of the Gang.
-Drink for any demeaning reference to Sweet Dee as old, ugly, untalented, or any combination thereof.
-Drinkfor any reference to Sweet Dee's backbrace.
--2x drink if they refer toher as a monster or "Aluminum Monster."
--3x drink if the back brace actually appears.
-Drinks for anytime Sweet Dee refers to the gang as "boners."
-Drink for any evidence of Charlie's illiteracy, or references to it by the Gang.
-Drinkanytime Frank brandishes a gun, or anyone brandishes a weapon.
--2xdrinks for characters other than Frank brandishing a gun.
-Drink anytime Frank wants "in on this action."
-Drinkanytime somebody is shown on drugs, or any reference to past drug use(including Charlie sniffing glue).
--2x drinks if they are shown taking the drugs or sniffing glue.
-Drink for any instance of a homoerotic massage.
-Drink anytime Charlie appears in long Johns.
-Drink for any appearance of the Waitress.
--2x drinks if the Gang actually calls her "waitress."
-drink for any appearance of the McPoyles or Rickety Cricket.
-Drink anytime someone in the Gang punctuates a point with "Boom!" or "Bam!"
-Drink anytime something is set on fire. 2x if it is a person or other living thing.
Following these guidelines, you should be fucked up or dead by the end of any episode.
-Drink everytime somebody uses the following phrases
--"throwing down life lessons"
--"what's up, bitches?"
--"pop that shirt off"
--"you want 'x' to pop" (ie "you want your muscles to pop," "this will make your eyes pop")
-Drink anytime the Gang mocks one another with a display of fake crying.
-Drink anytime someone in the Gang points something out as racist.
-Drink anytime someone is drinking on the show. 2x drink if it's a member of the gang.
-Drink anytime Dee is referred to as "Sweet Dee" by one of the Gang.
-Drink for any demeaning reference to Sweet Dee as old, ugly, untalented, or any combination thereof.
-Drinkfor any reference to Sweet Dee's backbrace.
--2x drink if they refer toher as a monster or "Aluminum Monster."
--3x drink if the back brace actually appears.
-Drinks for anytime Sweet Dee refers to the gang as "boners."
-Drink for any evidence of Charlie's illiteracy, or references to it by the Gang.
-Drinkanytime Frank brandishes a gun, or anyone brandishes a weapon.
--2xdrinks for characters other than Frank brandishing a gun.
-Drink anytime Frank wants "in on this action."
-Drinkanytime somebody is shown on drugs, or any reference to past drug use(including Charlie sniffing glue).
--2x drinks if they are shown taking the drugs or sniffing glue.
-Drink for any instance of a homoerotic massage.
-Drink anytime Charlie appears in long Johns.
-Drink for any appearance of the Waitress.
--2x drinks if the Gang actually calls her "waitress."
-drink for any appearance of the McPoyles or Rickety Cricket.
-Drink anytime someone in the Gang punctuates a point with "Boom!" or "Bam!"
-Drink anytime something is set on fire. 2x if it is a person or other living thing.
Following these guidelines, you should be fucked up or dead by the end of any episode.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Random Thoughts from 25-35 Year Olds
I found this article while stumbling around the internet. These are some of the funnier thoughts, but I definitely will say to check out the full list.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Bad decisions make good stories
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
And my favorite:
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Bad decisions make good stories
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
And my favorite:
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
2001: A Space Odyssey
I have never before in history laughed so hard I cried at an online video. Until now. It's total music dorkdom but holy shit I like totally lost control by the end of this. Turn up the speakers for full effect.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Ten Commandments of College
I found this on College Humor and figured we could all relate in some way:
Student was searching for divine inspiration. Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge and came across God. Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is. And Student thanked God and it was good. And Student spread the Ten Commandments of College to all.
I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.
II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time
Now God said to Student, you must be sick all of the time. And student said why. And God said unto him, you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don't know. Therefore, God said, you shall be sick all year round. But God said, blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest. And it was good.
III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages
Student asked, but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny? And God said unto him, thou shall write witty away messages. God said to student, you shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild...in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping...in class. God said, if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them. And it was good.
IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie
And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid. And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school's logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.
V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot
And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not the shit, for all your fellow students will be experiencing the same. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God and God told him to use wet naps to ease the pain.
VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.
VII- Thou Shalt Hook Up
Student then asked of sex. And God said, Student, you shall hook up and be happy. You shall go home with random people every weekend and forget about them the next day. You shall see them at class and be awkward amongst their company. You shall exchange saliva at bars and parties and it will be good. And Student became gleeful and God told Student to wrap it up because He knows where she has been, but Student does not.
VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings
Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom.
IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused
God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered in Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about it to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer.
And God gave Student the final Commandment
X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight
And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student's chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.
This is the word of God, follow the Ten Commandments of College or you will be smote!
Student was searching for divine inspiration. Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge and came across God. Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is. And Student thanked God and it was good. And Student spread the Ten Commandments of College to all.
I- Thou Shalt Nap
And God gave unto Student a great gift, the gift of napping. God said to him, You shall spend half your day napping. You shall nap in class, in your room and in your friend's room. And God said, if you don't nap, you will not be able to stay up all night drinking. And Student said, Nap I shall, and it was good.
II- Thou Shalt Get Sick All the Time
Now God said to Student, you must be sick all of the time. And student said why. And God said unto him, you shall share drinks, stay up too late, drink too much and make out with people you don't know. Therefore, God said, you shall be sick all year round. But God said, blessed are the sick for they have partied the hardest. And it was good.
III- Thou Shalt Write Witty Away Messages
Student asked, but God, how will I show everyone that I am funny? And God said unto him, thou shall write witty away messages. God said to student, you shall never just say you are in the shower, you shall say you are getting wet and wild...in the shower. You shall never say you are at class, you shall say you are sleeping...in class. God said, if you do not write witty away messages, I shall smite you. Blessed are the funny, for they will get many girls to be their friends but never hook up with them. And it was good.
IV- Thou Shalt Wear a Hoodie
And then Student asked God, God how do I look like a college kid. And God said unto student, you must wear a hoodie, for it is a useful garment. And you shall never wash it either. Student asked God what kind of Hoodie should it be and God said, you shall own one with your school's logo on it and you shall own many others of varying colors and creeds. And Student was pleased and God was pleased.
V- Thou Shalt Shit a Lot
And Student asked of his bathroom habit and God told him, Student, you shall eat in the Cafeteria and you shall shit a lot. And it will not be good shit, it will be the shit of the devil for your ass shall burn for hours. Your school shall put laxatives in their food and you shall feel their pain. And Student began to weep, and God said unto him, Student, fear not the shit, for all your fellow students will be experiencing the same. And Student dried his eyes and thanked God and God told him to use wet naps to ease the pain.
VI- Thou Shalt Eat EasyMac
Student asked unto God if there was any alternatives to the cafeteria, and God said to him, you shall eat a lot of EasyMac. It is easy to make and you don't need milk or a stove. And student said microwaves were forbidden by the RA. And God said to him, you shall hide the microwave under your bed with a towel on top. And Student asked, what if it is discovered. And God told him to stop being such a pussy, and it was good.
VII- Thou Shalt Hook Up
Student then asked of sex. And God said, Student, you shall hook up and be happy. You shall go home with random people every weekend and forget about them the next day. You shall see them at class and be awkward amongst their company. You shall exchange saliva at bars and parties and it will be good. And Student became gleeful and God told Student to wrap it up because He knows where she has been, but Student does not.
VIII- Thou Shalt Join a Club and Never Go to Meetings
Student inquired of his spare time and God reminded him that he should be napping. But Student said he wanted to do other things. So God said unto him, you shall join a club at the beginning of the semester, but then never go to meetings. And Student asked why he should not go to meetings, and God told him, because the glee club is gay. And Student understood His wisdom.
IX- Thou Shalt Wake Up Confused
God said to Student, there will come many a day when you shall wake up in the bed of another and not know where you are. You will not remember what you did last night and you shall be confused. You will see that you have nipple rings and a tattoo now and are covered in Sharpie. And Student was disturbed by this, but God said, you shall tell great stories about it to your friends someday. And Student understood and God took a sip of a beer.
And God gave Student the final Commandment
X- Thou Shalt Gain Weight
And Student wished to hear the final commandment and God said he would not like it. But Student insisted, so God said unto him, you shall gain weight. However, God said, you will not buy new clothes, so you will wear sweat pants a lot. God said, Student, you will watch a lot of TV and become fat to which Student wept profusely. But God comforted Student saying, you will still get ass even if you cannot tie your shoes anymore. Student felt better and God pointed to Student's chest saying, those will soon be bitch tits. And it was good.
This is the word of God, follow the Ten Commandments of College or you will be smote!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Smoking for the First Time
I just happened to stumble upon a website with this article. It's called the Inner Monologue of a Guy Smoking Weed for the First Time. It is some funny shit. Sorry, I couldn't put it more elegant than that.
This is 2 years old?
This is what you miss when you don't visit collegehumor.com for a couple years...
It would have been better if they were constantly dancing and then busted into their parts
It would have been better if they were constantly dancing and then busted into their parts
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I give this concept two thumbs way down
Nothing about this seems like a good idea - besides the obvious I don't really want to be looking at a fake girl ass while peeing, I'm imagining all the guys rubbing their junk on these things. While peeing. And then there's those guys who are horny and easily aroused - add trying not to piss all over the place with a hardon to the mix. And is this really what "normal" guys like? pissing between a girl's legs? I mean I appreciate a golden shower as much as the next guy but... really?
Eww.
Oh, and also...
Gross.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Is it terrible...
... that all I want in the world is to be able to call him and not feel like I'm overstepping the breakup boundaries?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Turns Out...
We are all just a little bit crazy. Just a little bit wrecked. And just a little bit without control.
Who knew?
Thing with life is that you never know how anything is ever going to turn out.
Who knew?
Thing with life is that you never know how anything is ever going to turn out.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Top 3 Reasons Why Last Night Sucked
3) I was invited to go sneak into a hot tub with jessy and a bunch of lesbians. the hot tub was not working so I skinny dipped in lukewarm water with a bunch of hairy dykes. So exciting for me.
2) I realized that I left the beer out in my car later so I went out to get them. I realized that my car was nowhere near a parking space so I tried to move it and ran into the car next to me. then I grabbed the beer and it all shattered all over the ground (8 bottles in all). Then I got a piece of glass in my foot which I just had to remove using a kitchen knife and fingernail clippers because I have no money to pay to go to the doctor
1) Patrick and I broke up. The distance wasn't working. And frankly it was mostly my fault. But that didn't change the fact that I was visibly crying (i.e. tears streaming uncontrollably down my face) the entire 30 minute bus ride to work this morning. I left at noon when I realized that with only 3 hours of sleep, a piece of glass in my foot and a penchant for bursting into tears at the drop of a hat I was not going to be much use at my job
I hate my life
2) I realized that I left the beer out in my car later so I went out to get them. I realized that my car was nowhere near a parking space so I tried to move it and ran into the car next to me. then I grabbed the beer and it all shattered all over the ground (8 bottles in all). Then I got a piece of glass in my foot which I just had to remove using a kitchen knife and fingernail clippers because I have no money to pay to go to the doctor
1) Patrick and I broke up. The distance wasn't working. And frankly it was mostly my fault. But that didn't change the fact that I was visibly crying (i.e. tears streaming uncontrollably down my face) the entire 30 minute bus ride to work this morning. I left at noon when I realized that with only 3 hours of sleep, a piece of glass in my foot and a penchant for bursting into tears at the drop of a hat I was not going to be much use at my job
I hate my life
Monday, August 24, 2009
FML
Haven't been here for a while, so why not come back with some good old fashioned complaining.
Since I quit my job, I have been a complete waste of space. All I have done is smoke pot, go to the bar, watch movie (sometimes the same one within a 24 hour period), and play video games. I should be happy with doing nothing. But I am not. I have no real interaction with the outside world. I've basically locked myself in my apartment. Quite frankly, I'm getting bored. I want a job right now to cure that boredom.
To make matters worse, I totally could of had sex with this chick last night, but then something happened. She just disappeared. No clue where she went or why she left. I also don't remember her name, oops. But I guess that's not important now. So instead I decided to pass out on the couch only to wake up with a shitty hangover. Great consolation prize.
When I was walking back to my car, the girl who spoke to me about a job interview called me. She said that I missed my interview this morning. The thing is, she told me Tuesday. Then she asked if I would like to reschedule. Since I should have an interview already scheduled for Tuesday, I was surprised when she asked me that. So, my original interview got pushed back a half hour. That was odd. I want the job because I need something, but at the same time I know nothing about this company...
Strange.
Since I quit my job, I have been a complete waste of space. All I have done is smoke pot, go to the bar, watch movie (sometimes the same one within a 24 hour period), and play video games. I should be happy with doing nothing. But I am not. I have no real interaction with the outside world. I've basically locked myself in my apartment. Quite frankly, I'm getting bored. I want a job right now to cure that boredom.
To make matters worse, I totally could of had sex with this chick last night, but then something happened. She just disappeared. No clue where she went or why she left. I also don't remember her name, oops. But I guess that's not important now. So instead I decided to pass out on the couch only to wake up with a shitty hangover. Great consolation prize.
When I was walking back to my car, the girl who spoke to me about a job interview called me. She said that I missed my interview this morning. The thing is, she told me Tuesday. Then she asked if I would like to reschedule. Since I should have an interview already scheduled for Tuesday, I was surprised when she asked me that. So, my original interview got pushed back a half hour. That was odd. I want the job because I need something, but at the same time I know nothing about this company...
Strange.
Friday, August 21, 2009
So here's the dealio
I'm gonna be in Crotchester this weekend. Tomorrow night til Monday to be exact. Come home if you want to hang out. Miss you all and I hope things are going good.
much love
-Cottonmouth
much love
-Cottonmouth
Thursday, August 20, 2009
"Summer Nights" Video
I know you guys do not like country music but this video has a lot of hot chicks in it on the beach. So bear with it at least once, or turn the volume down. That works too. There are even a few moments for you Cottonmouth.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
I'll have you know
I was one of the only people posting on here (with mike) for quite a long time. I'm in Santa Fe visiting Sian and besides that I have nothing to talk about because people get pissed off when this blog turns into a bitchfest so I figured I'd just avoid it altogether and not bother posting. I might make it up to Michigan after I get my student loan refund but I wouldn't count on it. My paychecks are just enough so that I try to pay my bills and still overdraw every account and card I own. SOOOOO.... Don't look at me for not posting recently because I don't think anyone really wants to hear about that crap.
peace
J.Co.
peace
J.Co.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Liberation from Death...
Its been a while since there has been much activity on the blog. (Hock, I know, you did not let the blog die.)
And so, in the most random of fashions, I would like to add the following string(s) of thought:
Flaming Lips DOUBLE ALBUM will, hopefully, be amazing. I am a bit nervous for this one, though. The songs that they played from it at Pitchfork were, well, a bit weird. Even by their standards. He rode on top of a guy in a gorilla costume while crowing into a megaphone. Whafuck is that noise? I am betting that my complete and total love of these guys will make it hard for me to not show some serious bias and force me to listen to everything millions of times. Over and over. Until Hock kills me and then breaks the cd.
I miss big gay karaoke. That sounds like the bees freaking knees, dude. I wish there was a place in this area that 1-had karaoke and 2-people I know would go to.
My list is as follows:
Mandy Moore
Natalie Portman
Scarlett Johanssen
Shannyn Sossamon
Emma Watson
and then all of them again. In no particular order. Just immense amounts of fucking. Oh god, the fucking.
Got about 2 weeks left until work starts kicking my ass for another semester. All in all, I would say it has been a pretty damn good summer.
I could totally go for a big, gigantic, monstrous beer right now. Later, though. There is movie to see. With eyes. Asian talk fun. HAHAHA.
Yup.
Thats what I got for now. Enjoys it.
And so, in the most random of fashions, I would like to add the following string(s) of thought:
Flaming Lips DOUBLE ALBUM will, hopefully, be amazing. I am a bit nervous for this one, though. The songs that they played from it at Pitchfork were, well, a bit weird. Even by their standards. He rode on top of a guy in a gorilla costume while crowing into a megaphone. Whafuck is that noise? I am betting that my complete and total love of these guys will make it hard for me to not show some serious bias and force me to listen to everything millions of times. Over and over. Until Hock kills me and then breaks the cd.
I miss big gay karaoke. That sounds like the bees freaking knees, dude. I wish there was a place in this area that 1-had karaoke and 2-people I know would go to.
My list is as follows:
Mandy Moore
Natalie Portman
Scarlett Johanssen
Shannyn Sossamon
Emma Watson
and then all of them again. In no particular order. Just immense amounts of fucking. Oh god, the fucking.
Got about 2 weeks left until work starts kicking my ass for another semester. All in all, I would say it has been a pretty damn good summer.
I could totally go for a big, gigantic, monstrous beer right now. Later, though. There is movie to see. With eyes. Asian talk fun. HAHAHA.
Yup.
Thats what I got for now. Enjoys it.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Fall into New Music
A while ago on the blog, Kiznox had made mention to a new Flaming Lips album coming out soon and that got me thinking. What other awesome bands are releasing stuff?
Fall of 2009 is getting some mad love for new music from some of my favorite artists. These records are supposed to be some of the most mature works from these musicians.
9/22/09
Brand New - "Daisy" - It's about time, it has been nearly three years since The Devil and God...
9/29/09
AFI - "Crash Love" - Cannot wait for this to come out!
9/29/09
Paramore - "brand new eyes" - I know, I know. But I like them.
10/13/09
The Flaming Lips - "Embryonic" - DOUBLE ALBUM!
Not to mention, there are some unconfirmed dates for a new Ima Robot and Minus the Bear albums.
Anybody know any others?
or is the blog dying a slow and painful death?
GOERG
Fall of 2009 is getting some mad love for new music from some of my favorite artists. These records are supposed to be some of the most mature works from these musicians.
9/22/09
Brand New - "Daisy" - It's about time, it has been nearly three years since The Devil and God...
9/29/09
AFI - "Crash Love" - Cannot wait for this to come out!
9/29/09
Paramore - "brand new eyes" - I know, I know. But I like them.
10/13/09
The Flaming Lips - "Embryonic" - DOUBLE ALBUM!
Not to mention, there are some unconfirmed dates for a new Ima Robot and Minus the Bear albums.
Anybody know any others?
or is the blog dying a slow and painful death?
GOERG
Sunday, August 9, 2009
If They Were Single, I'd Fuck 'Em
Hell, I'd fuck them anyways
If I could have any famous person to fuck or get married to, the list would probably go something like this:
In order:
1. Jessica Alba
2. Mandy Moore (veeeerrrryyyy close to #1)
3. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
4. Shannyn Sossamon
5. Scarlett Johansson
6. Olivia Munn
7. Zooey Deschanel
8. Kristen Bell
9. Keira Knightley
10. Elisha Cuthbert
I would have given you pics of all of them, but after 3 I got lazy.
If I could have any famous person to fuck or get married to, the list would probably go something like this:
In order:
1. Jessica Alba
2. Mandy Moore (veeeerrrryyyy close to #1)
3. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
4. Shannyn Sossamon
5. Scarlett Johansson
6. Olivia Munn
7. Zooey Deschanel
8. Kristen Bell
9. Keira Knightley
10. Elisha Cuthbert
I would have given you pics of all of them, but after 3 I got lazy.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
So...
Things are going well here. I like the new place. Contrary to what I said before, Jess is staying single, and currently coming over to smoke. Me and her went to the gay bar to do some karaoke which was fantastisch. That's it for now. miss you all, much love and let's all have an orgy soon... I mean... uhh right...
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I'm Moving
Hence why I haven't written in a while. Not much to write about I suppose. I'm sick, have literally no money, and have eaten a lot of ramen recently. so yeah. Jess and Daws have been here for the weekend because she and Zack finally broke up. I'll write again when there's something more to say.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I Can't Take It!
As you guys may know, I am incredibly miserable at my job. I have no free time and I'm constantly shit on. This past weekend I was forced to stay in Houston for an extra day just because I would spend 8 hours in the store instead of 9 if I took the Friday flight. Instead of getting home Friday night, I was forced to lose 4 hours of quality time I could of had to move out. Now I have to unfairly put that burden on Kiznox to finish up for me because I'm not in the state.
Then Kiznox and I drove to Chicago, as he has already outlined. I will leave the good, fun, happy story time to him. All I could think of on Sunday is how fucked I'm going to be on Monday.
Well, I was fucked today. I left for the airport, only to get pulled over and receive a speeding ticket. Awesome start. Get to the airport and miss my flight because the security line is too long. Even better. The flight I ended up on wasn't bad, I slept for most of it. Then I got into the Charlotte airport, where I have to sit for an hour and a half before my flight leaves. The time comes up to where my flight is supposed to take off and we're still in the terminal. An announcement comes up on the speaker saying that the plane needs a part and it'll be 15 more minutes. Another announcement comes on, saying they may need to change planes and it'll be 30 more minutes before they know. Well, we end up changing planes and waiting at another gate for 45 more minutes. We board that plane...finally. While onboard, we wait for another 30 minutes before even taking off. What the fuck! I got in 4 hours late. It's cool that I got a half day, but I was stressing out.
The whole time, all I could think about is how much I can't take this anymore. It's true. I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice by the end of this week. I'm aging too quickly and I have no life. I don't need this shit. Now I have to work on these stupid fucking goals because I got a bad evaluation from one piece of shit manager a couple weeks ago.
I don't need this stress. Fuck this god damn company!
Then Kiznox and I drove to Chicago, as he has already outlined. I will leave the good, fun, happy story time to him. All I could think of on Sunday is how fucked I'm going to be on Monday.
Well, I was fucked today. I left for the airport, only to get pulled over and receive a speeding ticket. Awesome start. Get to the airport and miss my flight because the security line is too long. Even better. The flight I ended up on wasn't bad, I slept for most of it. Then I got into the Charlotte airport, where I have to sit for an hour and a half before my flight leaves. The time comes up to where my flight is supposed to take off and we're still in the terminal. An announcement comes up on the speaker saying that the plane needs a part and it'll be 15 more minutes. Another announcement comes on, saying they may need to change planes and it'll be 30 more minutes before they know. Well, we end up changing planes and waiting at another gate for 45 more minutes. We board that plane...finally. While onboard, we wait for another 30 minutes before even taking off. What the fuck! I got in 4 hours late. It's cool that I got a half day, but I was stressing out.
The whole time, all I could think about is how much I can't take this anymore. It's true. I'm putting in my 2 weeks notice by the end of this week. I'm aging too quickly and I have no life. I don't need this shit. Now I have to work on these stupid fucking goals because I got a bad evaluation from one piece of shit manager a couple weeks ago.
I don't need this stress. Fuck this god damn company!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Pitchfork and Chicago Trip...
Whew...now that I have slept for a few hours and gotten just enough rest to get rid of the bloody/veiny/nasty red-eye thing that you get when you are really fucking tired but still awake for no reason at all thing....its time to get into the wonders of this trip!
It all started when we finished disastrously and haphazardly tossing as many of Hock's belongings into my apartment. (Moving is a pain in the ass...I am so effin glad that I'm not the one actually moving for once.) We finally got into my car and started heading west. I had absolutely no fucking clue what the hell I was doing...and, honestly, the GPS Hock brought with confused me more than anything. Helpful once I got used to it, but technology basically confuses me. Yup.
Anyway, we got into Chi-town around 10(ish?) and checked into the hotel. Congress Plaza is really nice, though the shoebox they had the two of us jammed into was not exactly as awesome as the "gold-room" postcards they were handing out in the main lobby.
Gold Room:
Our Room:
(Well, close)
Favorite part about the hotel? The bathroom door wouldnt actually shut due to an issue involving hinge placement.
After getting ready we decided to venture out into the Chicago nite in search of cheap booze and busty broads. This, however, turned out to be harder than we realized. Turns out, our hotel was not located in the more happenin area and we, as out-of-towners, had no fucking clue where to go.
Answer to any problem? Ask the Cabbie! He took us to Harry Caray's:
Which was AWESOME! Where else would a waitress decide to make up for INCREDIBLY SLOW SERVICE by BUYING US BEER!
TWICE!
Hung out there for a bit and then Hock got hold of some people he knew that lived out there...who told us to go to Flat Iron and meet them. So we hopped in a cab and headed in that direction.
We ended up here:
Piece bar. I seriously thought that this was Flat Iron. There was a fucking street sign right in front of the place that said Flat Iron! Damn Chicago trickery! Turned out that Piece is actually a really sweet bar. They had a live band playing some quality tunage along with a plethera of Piece Specific beers, killer customer area, phenomenal architecture, and a general sense of trendsetter community love. My favorite thing about this place was the band. And by band, I mean that they had a live band playing and KARAOKE!!!
Finished our beers, then consulted our nav systems on our sweet James Bond phones and found that we were actually really close to our intended destination. Left Piece and ventured onward.
Flat Iron:
Finally made it. This bar scared me. Well, okay, it didnt really scare me, but it was definitely not my bag...Good place, but reminded me of a shady biker bar where everything looks dirty and grungy but for some reason you still want to go home with most of the women. Never did find the people we were trying to meet up with. Did get to see some guy snap a pool stick in half.
We left there and kind of wandered around for a minute before deciding to head to another bar...This would be the last place we went to that nite and, sadly, neither one of us has any idea what the goddamn name of it was. It was, in fact, the most fun I had at any of the bars and I'm totally heading back there the next time that I am in Chicago. But yeah, great bar, kinda upscale, amazingly sexy people all over the place, good service, well set up, and just amazingly bad but totally perfect club music. Not a place to start, but a phenomenal place to finish.
After the bars everything is kind of a blur. Hock suggested that we go to Flash Burrito(?) to get some delicious munchies before heading back to the hotel.
I had no idea that Zordon was busy making burritos these days. I love it. The food was delicious and sexy. Yep, the food had sex appeal...which means that I was really drunk. And hungry. And horny. And hungry.
Saturday nite was a fucking blast. Stay tuned for Sunday...
It all started when we finished disastrously and haphazardly tossing as many of Hock's belongings into my apartment. (Moving is a pain in the ass...I am so effin glad that I'm not the one actually moving for once.) We finally got into my car and started heading west. I had absolutely no fucking clue what the hell I was doing...and, honestly, the GPS Hock brought with confused me more than anything. Helpful once I got used to it, but technology basically confuses me. Yup.
Anyway, we got into Chi-town around 10(ish?) and checked into the hotel. Congress Plaza is really nice, though the shoebox they had the two of us jammed into was not exactly as awesome as the "gold-room" postcards they were handing out in the main lobby.
Gold Room:
Our Room:
(Well, close)
Favorite part about the hotel? The bathroom door wouldnt actually shut due to an issue involving hinge placement.
After getting ready we decided to venture out into the Chicago nite in search of cheap booze and busty broads. This, however, turned out to be harder than we realized. Turns out, our hotel was not located in the more happenin area and we, as out-of-towners, had no fucking clue where to go.
Answer to any problem? Ask the Cabbie! He took us to Harry Caray's:
Which was AWESOME! Where else would a waitress decide to make up for INCREDIBLY SLOW SERVICE by BUYING US BEER!
TWICE!
Hung out there for a bit and then Hock got hold of some people he knew that lived out there...who told us to go to Flat Iron and meet them. So we hopped in a cab and headed in that direction.
We ended up here:
Piece bar. I seriously thought that this was Flat Iron. There was a fucking street sign right in front of the place that said Flat Iron! Damn Chicago trickery! Turned out that Piece is actually a really sweet bar. They had a live band playing some quality tunage along with a plethera of Piece Specific beers, killer customer area, phenomenal architecture, and a general sense of trendsetter community love. My favorite thing about this place was the band. And by band, I mean that they had a live band playing and KARAOKE!!!
Finished our beers, then consulted our nav systems on our sweet James Bond phones and found that we were actually really close to our intended destination. Left Piece and ventured onward.
Flat Iron:
Finally made it. This bar scared me. Well, okay, it didnt really scare me, but it was definitely not my bag...Good place, but reminded me of a shady biker bar where everything looks dirty and grungy but for some reason you still want to go home with most of the women. Never did find the people we were trying to meet up with. Did get to see some guy snap a pool stick in half.
We left there and kind of wandered around for a minute before deciding to head to another bar...This would be the last place we went to that nite and, sadly, neither one of us has any idea what the goddamn name of it was. It was, in fact, the most fun I had at any of the bars and I'm totally heading back there the next time that I am in Chicago. But yeah, great bar, kinda upscale, amazingly sexy people all over the place, good service, well set up, and just amazingly bad but totally perfect club music. Not a place to start, but a phenomenal place to finish.
After the bars everything is kind of a blur. Hock suggested that we go to Flash Burrito(?) to get some delicious munchies before heading back to the hotel.
I had no idea that Zordon was busy making burritos these days. I love it. The food was delicious and sexy. Yep, the food had sex appeal...which means that I was really drunk. And hungry. And horny. And hungry.
Saturday nite was a fucking blast. Stay tuned for Sunday...
THE FLAMING LIPS!!! THE FLAMING LIPS!!! THE FLAMING LIPS!!!
2009 PitchFork Festival Closer
Which was followed by this mess of business...
Vids from my phone and possibly pics coming soon.
Also, Hock, that band we were trying to figure out is M83.
More on the waaaaaaaaay...
Which was followed by this mess of business...
Vids from my phone and possibly pics coming soon.
Also, Hock, that band we were trying to figure out is M83.
More on the waaaaaaaaay...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Forget about Deadpool...
"Ryan Reynolds is the new Green Lantern
13 July 2009 5:04 PM, PDT | From The Scorecard Review | See recent Scorecard Review news
It has been confirmed by Variety that The Proposal actor Ryan Reynolds is set to play DC Comics hero The Green Lantern in the new live-action film from Warner Brothers.
Casino Royale director Martin Campbell is set to direct the picture which will begin production in January. Green Lantern will be working with a script by Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, and Michael Green. Producers will be Berlanti and Donald DeLine.
Reynolds was not a shoo-in for the role, as he had competition from a few other top actors for the part. A few days ago, The Hangover star Bradley Cooper and Jared Leto were taking screen tests for the role.
This marks another comic-book character role for Reynolds, as earlier this season he got his coveted role in a X-Men Origins: Wolverine spinoff, Deadpool. Not for nothing, he also helped make The Proposal a box-office success.
A Green Lantern film is long overdue."
WOOT!!!WOOT!!!WOOT!!!WOOT!!!
13 July 2009 5:04 PM, PDT | From The Scorecard Review | See recent Scorecard Review news
It has been confirmed by Variety that The Proposal actor Ryan Reynolds is set to play DC Comics hero The Green Lantern in the new live-action film from Warner Brothers.
Casino Royale director Martin Campbell is set to direct the picture which will begin production in January. Green Lantern will be working with a script by Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim, and Michael Green. Producers will be Berlanti and Donald DeLine.
Reynolds was not a shoo-in for the role, as he had competition from a few other top actors for the part. A few days ago, The Hangover star Bradley Cooper and Jared Leto were taking screen tests for the role.
This marks another comic-book character role for Reynolds, as earlier this season he got his coveted role in a X-Men Origins: Wolverine spinoff, Deadpool. Not for nothing, he also helped make The Proposal a box-office success.
A Green Lantern film is long overdue."
WOOT!!!WOOT!!!WOOT!!!WOOT!!!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Emma Watson
In the spirit of the newest Harry Potter movie, let's all gawk in amazement at how smoking hot Emma Watson is...
Friday, July 3, 2009
Lolla
While riding the blue line this week I saw a couple of billboards for Lollapalooza 2009. It piqued my interest. When I originally looked at it a couple of months ago, I thought it was just alright. Now that I had another chance to look at the whole list, I gotta say I wanna go. The lineup is sweet. Anyone want to go?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
"Random Fact"
or "I might not have early onset Parkinson's afterall"
It might be a byproduct of my mind
We have two sets of nervous systems. One controls excitation, while the other controls inhibition. If you hold out your hand, you might observe minor tremors. This is actually stimulated by slight, random differences in the amount each of the two systems are firing.
It might be a byproduct of my mind
We have two sets of nervous systems. One controls excitation, while the other controls inhibition. If you hold out your hand, you might observe minor tremors. This is actually stimulated by slight, random differences in the amount each of the two systems are firing.
Monday, June 29, 2009
When the Fuck did CBS become funny?
On Mondays anyways.
I started watching the show How I Met Your Mother when I saw Jason Segal, so I was intrigued. The show is very funny and there is a lot of people in it, including Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Will Sasso, and the voice of Bob Sagat. Oh, and in the episode I saw, Jason Segal made a lightsaber reference...then proceeded to cut a turkey with a "real" one during the credits. Gold.
Then, a show staring Patrick Warburton (Putty from Seinfeld and the voice of Brock Samson), called Rules of Engagement came on. Surprisingly hilarious. Episode about being a homophobe. Lots of dick jokes. Surprising for CBS. I enjoyed it. Also, one of the girls on the show is fucking gorgeous. Oh, and David Spade is also in the cast
Watched an episode of Two and a Half Men. Lots of dick and masturbation jokes. Again, surprising for CBS.
I have seen some episodes of the Big Bang Theory, which is on now, and it is pretty good. Some of the characters suck so much I almost hate it, but overall its pretty funny. The blonde chick is super hot. Mmmmmmm
Maybe I'll try to get into CBS Mondays. Never thought I'd say that.
I started watching the show How I Met Your Mother when I saw Jason Segal, so I was intrigued. The show is very funny and there is a lot of people in it, including Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, Will Sasso, and the voice of Bob Sagat. Oh, and in the episode I saw, Jason Segal made a lightsaber reference...then proceeded to cut a turkey with a "real" one during the credits. Gold.
Then, a show staring Patrick Warburton (Putty from Seinfeld and the voice of Brock Samson), called Rules of Engagement came on. Surprisingly hilarious. Episode about being a homophobe. Lots of dick jokes. Surprising for CBS. I enjoyed it. Also, one of the girls on the show is fucking gorgeous. Oh, and David Spade is also in the cast
Watched an episode of Two and a Half Men. Lots of dick and masturbation jokes. Again, surprising for CBS.
I have seen some episodes of the Big Bang Theory, which is on now, and it is pretty good. Some of the characters suck so much I almost hate it, but overall its pretty funny. The blonde chick is super hot. Mmmmmmm
Maybe I'll try to get into CBS Mondays. Never thought I'd say that.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Feathers everywhere!
This morning, while driving on 127, I hit a turkey. A turkey! In fucking Lansing!? I didn't even know they were around here. I was driving through a construction zone, so even if the turkey crossed the street, it would have nowhere to go. It was on the shoulder and as I am about to pass it, it bolts in front of my car. Stupid fucking animal. I looked in my rearview mirror and all I saw was a bunch of feathers going everywhere. I thought no damage was done when I first looked at my car, but after going back on the highway, I noticed that my headlight got dislodged from it's original position. Guess I have to get that fixed.
Then we saw Transformers: Rise of the Fallen. I gotta say, it was pretty good. I don't know why I'm hearing so many people hating on it. I enjoyed it. It had some sweet action and good humor. The only problems with it where the "Twins" (who are some annoying fucks, or Jar-Jars as Kiznox put it) and Optimus was ridiculously overpowered compared to the first movie. I will let that one slide though, due to the 2 years time between the first and second movie. Who knows what happened in that time, maybe he upgraded? Or maybe Optimus is just a badass mo-fo.
After I dropped Kiznox off, I drove home. While entering 96, some fucker in front of me slowed down to 40mph. Then, as the left lane was merging, decided to wait until the last minute to get over. There was an ENORMOUS gap between me and the car in front of him, so he definitely had the room to get over at anytime. Here's the worst part...not only did he wait until the last minute, he sped up so that he FORCED the car in front of him (at this point, directly next to him) to change lanes to avoid being hit. Seriously, how the fuck did this guy get a license? I wish a cop was around and his license got suspended and then he got tasered. I wish it was me in front of him so he would hit me (I would not get over for that prick) and then I would sue the shit out of him. God dammit I hate America sometimes.
Then we saw Transformers: Rise of the Fallen. I gotta say, it was pretty good. I don't know why I'm hearing so many people hating on it. I enjoyed it. It had some sweet action and good humor. The only problems with it where the "Twins" (who are some annoying fucks, or Jar-Jars as Kiznox put it) and Optimus was ridiculously overpowered compared to the first movie. I will let that one slide though, due to the 2 years time between the first and second movie. Who knows what happened in that time, maybe he upgraded? Or maybe Optimus is just a badass mo-fo.
After I dropped Kiznox off, I drove home. While entering 96, some fucker in front of me slowed down to 40mph. Then, as the left lane was merging, decided to wait until the last minute to get over. There was an ENORMOUS gap between me and the car in front of him, so he definitely had the room to get over at anytime. Here's the worst part...not only did he wait until the last minute, he sped up so that he FORCED the car in front of him (at this point, directly next to him) to change lanes to avoid being hit. Seriously, how the fuck did this guy get a license? I wish a cop was around and his license got suspended and then he got tasered. I wish it was me in front of him so he would hit me (I would not get over for that prick) and then I would sue the shit out of him. God dammit I hate America sometimes.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
How Have We Not Heard About This?
New Muse albulm "The Resistance" to be released September 14 of this year!
Yup that's right. less than 3 months :-D
It always makes me laugh how it's always like 5 of my favorite bands who come out with a new albulm in the same year
note: Albulm is spelled as such because some idiot spelled the tag wrong
Yup that's right. less than 3 months :-D
It always makes me laugh how it's always like 5 of my favorite bands who come out with a new albulm in the same year
note: Albulm is spelled as such because some idiot spelled the tag wrong
Friday, June 26, 2009
RIP Michael Jackson: You Are The King of Pop!
MJ was a big part of my childhood. I'm pretty sure I have seen all of his music videos. He may have gone off the deep end over the past decade or so, but his time in the 80s was unbelievably awesome. He was one of the greats and he will be missed.
Amazing!
Undeniably one of the BEST dancers/performers to ever grace the stage
He makes the moonwalk look effortless
He made Thriller! He will be forever awesome!
Amazing!
Undeniably one of the BEST dancers/performers to ever grace the stage
He makes the moonwalk look effortless
He made Thriller! He will be forever awesome!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
It's Not Been a Good Week for Celebrities
R.I.P. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett
I don't even know what to say - this is insane - in particular Michael Jackson - I knew Farrah Fawcett had been sick for some time, but who would have thought Michael Jackson would die of a heart attack.
Really sad...
I don't even know what to say - this is insane - in particular Michael Jackson - I knew Farrah Fawcett had been sick for some time, but who would have thought Michael Jackson would die of a heart attack.
Really sad...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ever feel like Alice in Wonderland?
Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter...
This flick wont be out until 2010, but some pretty sweet photos are up here:
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=95568766579&h=NAGqk&u=UevYy&ref=nf
I'm excited for anything Tim Burton puts out...especially one involving 3-D.
This flick wont be out until 2010, but some pretty sweet photos are up here:
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=95568766579&h=NAGqk&u=UevYy&ref=nf
I'm excited for anything Tim Burton puts out...especially one involving 3-D.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Used to be alright...
...what happened? et cetera, et cetera
I don't want to go back to bloomington tomorrow. I don't ever want to go back there. I feel like things are gonna get really bad really soon. I can't imagine Pat and I are gonna be together much longer considering there's no time in the next few months I'm gonna be up here again. and honestly, he doesn't need me in the same way I need him - he's got a close group of friends nearby, multiple hobbies, plenty of things on his plate. I know he likes me just as much as I like him, but I just don't think he has a chance to be so agonized about the distance and lack of contact that I do. I have an empty apartment that I sit in most days for hours in silence praying that Doug will get home soon so there's at least someone there with me. Not to mention the fact that I'm just waiting for the day he decides to move out, just like everyone else did, except Mike. I have no money, and I have nothing to do ever. I try to make friends, but no one ever calls, and the few numbers I have in my phonebook are of people who already have their own groups to hang out with. No one needs me. No one relies on me for anything. I just want someone to hug or curl up with. I don't even know what I like anymore. Food all tastes the same. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me laugh (except sometimes my friends at work). I just sit watching tv waiting for the world to end while Doug listens to his headphones. Even music hasn't been appealing to me recently. I just don't care anymore about anything. I have no reason to. I talked to my mom about moving to Chicago and she aptly pointed out that I should probably move in with my uncle since I have no money for rent and don't have any prospective roommates. Just what I've always wanted. Moving in with my bachelor uncle who I don't even think knows that I'm gay.
I guess that's about it. fuck my life
I don't want to go back to bloomington tomorrow. I don't ever want to go back there. I feel like things are gonna get really bad really soon. I can't imagine Pat and I are gonna be together much longer considering there's no time in the next few months I'm gonna be up here again. and honestly, he doesn't need me in the same way I need him - he's got a close group of friends nearby, multiple hobbies, plenty of things on his plate. I know he likes me just as much as I like him, but I just don't think he has a chance to be so agonized about the distance and lack of contact that I do. I have an empty apartment that I sit in most days for hours in silence praying that Doug will get home soon so there's at least someone there with me. Not to mention the fact that I'm just waiting for the day he decides to move out, just like everyone else did, except Mike. I have no money, and I have nothing to do ever. I try to make friends, but no one ever calls, and the few numbers I have in my phonebook are of people who already have their own groups to hang out with. No one needs me. No one relies on me for anything. I just want someone to hug or curl up with. I don't even know what I like anymore. Food all tastes the same. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing makes me laugh (except sometimes my friends at work). I just sit watching tv waiting for the world to end while Doug listens to his headphones. Even music hasn't been appealing to me recently. I just don't care anymore about anything. I have no reason to. I talked to my mom about moving to Chicago and she aptly pointed out that I should probably move in with my uncle since I have no money for rent and don't have any prospective roommates. Just what I've always wanted. Moving in with my bachelor uncle who I don't even think knows that I'm gay.
I guess that's about it. fuck my life
Friday, June 19, 2009
Fuck this Fan...
I, officially, own the worst fan ever built.
This fucking thing is on full blast. I am sitting less that 2 feet from it. The bastard is strategically aimed at my face. The weather is oppressively humid. Steamy. Ridiculous. And I am nearing the point where I would turn on the a/c if I didnt hate a/c so goddamn much. Yet I feel no wind. My shirt does not flow in any sort of breeze like the thousands of hair product commercials I have seen. No monumental comfort that a fan would yield in this weather. It would seem that this electronic is taunting me.
The fan still faces me, full blast, spinning, whirring, making a horribly loud hum, doing absolutely nothing beneficial for me.
Fuck you, fan.
You are a waste of energy. And, quite possibly, a demon.
This fucking thing is on full blast. I am sitting less that 2 feet from it. The bastard is strategically aimed at my face. The weather is oppressively humid. Steamy. Ridiculous. And I am nearing the point where I would turn on the a/c if I didnt hate a/c so goddamn much. Yet I feel no wind. My shirt does not flow in any sort of breeze like the thousands of hair product commercials I have seen. No monumental comfort that a fan would yield in this weather. It would seem that this electronic is taunting me.
The fan still faces me, full blast, spinning, whirring, making a horribly loud hum, doing absolutely nothing beneficial for me.
Fuck you, fan.
You are a waste of energy. And, quite possibly, a demon.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
All the Pretty Colors...
This site is awesome:
http://labs.ideeinc.com/multicolr
You can choose up to 10 colors and it will find photographs from Flickr's "Creative Commons" (i.e. public domain photos) that are saturated in those colors - so you can essentially make your own photomosaic. It's incredible.
also - check out my new desktop background - take a good look before you blow it up into the bigger version:
http://labs.ideeinc.com/multicolr
You can choose up to 10 colors and it will find photographs from Flickr's "Creative Commons" (i.e. public domain photos) that are saturated in those colors - so you can essentially make your own photomosaic. It's incredible.
also - check out my new desktop background - take a good look before you blow it up into the bigger version:
America has done it again!
Watching Fox News (just wanted a laugh) and they had a story about David Letterman's comment about Sarah Palin's daughter. Apparently there was a protest outside of CBS studios trying to get Letterman fired. Letterman's response? He had a series of jokes about the protest line. Awesome. I never really cared too much for Letterman, and I don't even know what the joke was about Palin's daughter, but the protesters are fucking ridiculous. They must have lost their jobs and needed something to do. Who fucking cares what Dave said about an underage (not sure about her age) girl who was stupid enough to get preggers and happens to be the daughter of a VP candidate. Oh no, the world is going to collapse because of one comment! This is one reason why I pray for this country. People need to get a fucking sense of humor. Fox interviewed someone at the rally. She was incredibly inarticulate. The whole interview probably lasted a minute. She made my brain hurt. There are too many idiots with too much free time in this country.
Also, the story before that was about Obama saying that Fox News basically hates him. First off, why does he care about what Fox News thinks? Oh, that's right, it's because half of America (the idiots) actually listens to what Fox News says. That is aweful. Then they decided to bash Obama for not wanting to appear on their show to remark on the criticisms. I wonder why? Oh wait, he has a fucking country to run! A country in shambles. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have much free time to sit down for Fox News, you fuck heads. Lay off him and get some real journalists, you right-winged bastards.
Also, the story before that was about Obama saying that Fox News basically hates him. First off, why does he care about what Fox News thinks? Oh, that's right, it's because half of America (the idiots) actually listens to what Fox News says. That is aweful. Then they decided to bash Obama for not wanting to appear on their show to remark on the criticisms. I wonder why? Oh wait, he has a fucking country to run! A country in shambles. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have much free time to sit down for Fox News, you fuck heads. Lay off him and get some real journalists, you right-winged bastards.
On the Necessity of Drugs...
Everything revolves around some sort of drug.
Love
Passion
Pot
Sex
Imagination
I am beginning to understand the need, the necessity, of living free. I am bound by my job...though not entirely griping at the moment...just understanding. I am bound by bills. That I have created. I am bound by the existence of my former self. And, yet, it is the former me that I miss most.
I feel as though I have found a mixture of the then me and the now me.
As though something wonderous can be fashioned together with just the right amount of each.
One day I will explain it all.
One day, I'll understand it myself.
Dont drink and post, my friends. Not when feeling whimsical and introspective.
Love
Passion
Pot
Sex
Imagination
I am beginning to understand the need, the necessity, of living free. I am bound by my job...though not entirely griping at the moment...just understanding. I am bound by bills. That I have created. I am bound by the existence of my former self. And, yet, it is the former me that I miss most.
I feel as though I have found a mixture of the then me and the now me.
As though something wonderous can be fashioned together with just the right amount of each.
One day I will explain it all.
One day, I'll understand it myself.
Dont drink and post, my friends. Not when feeling whimsical and introspective.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Scrubs Finale
I don't know if you all watched this a while back but this has always been one of my favorite shows. This ending is just so fitting!
Rooster Illusion Pictures...
Its coming.
It will be memorable...either as a great success or an epic fail.
This will be my everything.
I'm effin pumped.
It will be memorable...either as a great success or an epic fail.
This will be my everything.
I'm effin pumped.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Jenna Dewan
I just watched Step Up on TBS. Yeah yeah, make fun all you want. I'm just drawn to that movie. One of the main reasons is the main actress, Jenna Dewan. Holy shit is she gorgeous! I want my wife to be that attractive.
The movie also always makes me feel like shit. Not only does it parade around a super attractive woman that I'd have no chance with ever, it also makes me realize that I have no self worth. I don't have anything to offer anyone. I have no talents. Everyone in that movie can do something, whether it is singing, dancing, or playing an instrument. I can do none of those things. I screwed up my childhood by doing nothing of value. Now I'm sitting here, in this fucking hotel room, using a shitload of commas, using a shitty internet connection (Courtyard Marriott, please join the 21st century), sounding super emo...all because I have been lazy all my life.
Guess I'll just have to quit my job and try something better. Free time is a hell of a drug.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Tennessee surprised me
This morning I flew into Nashville, TN (which I did not know was in the Central Time Zone) and proceeded to the rental car desk. The guy asked me if I wanted to upgrade my car to one with cruise control for $8 more per day. That was a shock. I can't get the upgrade, because I won't get reimbursed, and now I know I have to drive 3 hours without cruise control. It's not like I haven't used a car on long trips without cruise control, but I was using a Ford Focus. Those things are uncomfortable to drive for long distances pushing the unresponsive gas pedal. What a piece of shit.
Crappy car aside, I had a majestic trip. I-40 is lined with trees the entire way from Nashville to Memphis. On top of that, it was foggy. I love fog. It was so peaceful. I never knew Tennessee had it in her. I guess it's been a long time since I've been here.
But then, reality set in...I had to work. I hope my drive back is as peaceful as the ride there.
P.S. Cottonmouth, return my call please.
Crappy car aside, I had a majestic trip. I-40 is lined with trees the entire way from Nashville to Memphis. On top of that, it was foggy. I love fog. It was so peaceful. I never knew Tennessee had it in her. I guess it's been a long time since I've been here.
But then, reality set in...I had to work. I hope my drive back is as peaceful as the ride there.
P.S. Cottonmouth, return my call please.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Summer Camp (Part III)
Sunday did not have a whole lot going on during the day. So when 3:00 pm rolled around we headed over to the Sunshine Stage for Umphrey's to play an acoustic set. It was pretty awesome. I got to hear songs I have never heard before and then others that I have never heard acoustic versions of. It killed. Here is a little taste of an acoustic Prowler:
The whole set was really solid even though, being in the second 'row' i could not see Brendan at all. Boo-urns. Here is the whole set:
After leaving that, we changed clothes into something warmer and sat at moe.'s last set of the weekend and waited for "things to kick in." It took a long while but eventually did. We were trying our hardest to get into the late night show at the Red Barn (which costed $125 extra, psh). Jess had an extra wristband so we were going to try the old 'don't latch and pull the switcheroo.' It didn't work. SVG tried first and they immediately took it from him and threw it away. Luckily, Zach's friends had gotten a laminent which was all access. So we met up with them outside the Barn and pulled the switcheroo. Hurrah! Free music! The late night show was sick. It started with the Easy Star All Stars (featuring Andy, Kris, and Ryan of UM) playing a reggae cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. It was so awesome to watch. After them EOTO came out and rocked my face off. Who knew two guys from String Cheese Incident could rock so electronically?!? Not I. After they left the stage Bassnectar came out. Once he started, I never once stopped dancing. It was really awesome. The whole late night set, I was really talkative, but no one would talk to me. So I basicaly talked to everyone else around me. Nice people. After that, around 4 am, the night/morning wound down and we hit the hay. Waking up was very bittersweet. The weekend was over and all I had was 60 some odd pictures and a brain full of memories. This was by far the best festival I have ever gone to and I can't wait for next year. Summer Camp 2010!!
GOERG out.
The whole set was really solid even though, being in the second 'row' i could not see Brendan at all. Boo-urns. Here is the whole set:
One Set
Hangover, Prowler > Resolution* -> Professor Wormbog, That's the Way^, Ride On Pony^, FF -> #Search 4, August
Hangover, Prowler > Resolution* -> Professor Wormbog, That's the Way^, Ride On Pony^, FF -> #Search 4, August
Notes
Sunshine Stage
Brendan and Jake on acoustic guitars
* with A Go Go teases
^ with Mike Rackey on steel pedal guitar
# with Dead or Alive tease
After that we met Jess and Zach over at the main stage to see Medeski, Scofield, Martin, and Wood. It was decent. I am not a huge fan. I did have fun just chilling, listening to music, smoking a little something, and drinking some margaritas. When that ended, we stuck around for moe.'s first set. We then headed over to see Willie Nelson. I stayed waaaaay to long there. It was slightly boring and started to get a little chilly. On the upshot, the sunset was beautiful.
Sunshine Stage
Brendan and Jake on acoustic guitars
* with A Go Go teases
^ with Mike Rackey on steel pedal guitar
# with Dead or Alive tease
After that we met Jess and Zach over at the main stage to see Medeski, Scofield, Martin, and Wood. It was decent. I am not a huge fan. I did have fun just chilling, listening to music, smoking a little something, and drinking some margaritas. When that ended, we stuck around for moe.'s first set. We then headed over to see Willie Nelson. I stayed waaaaay to long there. It was slightly boring and started to get a little chilly. On the upshot, the sunset was beautiful.
After leaving that, we changed clothes into something warmer and sat at moe.'s last set of the weekend and waited for "things to kick in." It took a long while but eventually did. We were trying our hardest to get into the late night show at the Red Barn (which costed $125 extra, psh). Jess had an extra wristband so we were going to try the old 'don't latch and pull the switcheroo.' It didn't work. SVG tried first and they immediately took it from him and threw it away. Luckily, Zach's friends had gotten a laminent which was all access. So we met up with them outside the Barn and pulled the switcheroo. Hurrah! Free music! The late night show was sick. It started with the Easy Star All Stars (featuring Andy, Kris, and Ryan of UM) playing a reggae cover of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. It was so awesome to watch. After them EOTO came out and rocked my face off. Who knew two guys from String Cheese Incident could rock so electronically?!? Not I. After they left the stage Bassnectar came out. Once he started, I never once stopped dancing. It was really awesome. The whole late night set, I was really talkative, but no one would talk to me. So I basicaly talked to everyone else around me. Nice people. After that, around 4 am, the night/morning wound down and we hit the hay. Waking up was very bittersweet. The weekend was over and all I had was 60 some odd pictures and a brain full of memories. This was by far the best festival I have ever gone to and I can't wait for next year. Summer Camp 2010!!
GOERG out.
Summer Camp (Part II)
The second day, Saturday, started early around 10 am-ish. The sun was beating down super hot on our tent and I could stay asleep any longer. SVG and I woke up and pretty much went right to Jess' tent to cool our asses off. After putzing around all morning, I headed to the Port-O-John and, like a moth to a flame, I was distracted by the funky jams coming from the Sunshine Stage. I zombie-like walked over there and stood and listened to a good 35 minutes of a band the Family Groove Company. It was so funky and awesome. I was immediately a fan. The second song I saw them play was The Beatles' "Blackbird." It was awesome. Later they brought out Allie Kral from Cornmeal and played "Bennie and the Jets." It rocked. I didn't know anything else by them, but I loved every minute of it. The next band on the stage was Cornmeal so I stuck around. It was pretty decent and very folky rock. SVG and I lost some interest in it and went to meeet Jess and Zach over at the Campfire Stage to see Brainchild. They were killer. They had an early, unpolished UM feel to them. Apparently, they cover UM songs from time to time, whcih is unheard to me! The had this hilarious song, "Moon Party Dance Party." Some lyrics were: 'You have Keith Moon, we have Keith Earth. You have Looney Tunes, we have lunar tunes.' And in the middle of the song they played the Sesame Street theme and the Fraggle Rock (!) theme. Sweet new band. After that set, we shot over to U-Melt who was also very good. Their cover was Zappa's "Dancing Fool." I can definitely see myself listening to more of them. We only caught a mere one or two songs of Les Claypool before we went to wait for Umphrey's. Slight disappointment. But oh well.
The main event: Umphrey's began playing around 7 pm. The first set was pretty good. There was a nice sit in from Claypool himself in a monkey mask on Mulche's Odyssey on the whamola (it's like a stand up bass, kinda, look it up).
But the second set was the effin shit. The set break was quiet as everyone went to go see moe. play. Fuck that. We smizzed a bizz with some dude in front of us. This guy literally pass out from exhaustion during BOTH UM shows. And I was right by him both times. Scary shit. I thought he died. As the sun set by the stage, anticipation crept in. I started to get super antzy. We met this awesome girl who gave us glowsticks and a pot caramel. Delicious and sticky. There was also some awesome dude with a milk carton mask who was just my same sense of humor. Good dude. Did I mention I was tripping my balls off the entire time? Anyways, the music began with a sick 1348 (or was it 3x? hehe) followed by Triple Wide (really) and a The Floor that was off the charts. Felix Pastorious came out and dazzled the whole crowd with his boss bass during Bright Lights.
A huge hightlight of this set was the fact that fire works were going off during 1348, Miss Tinkle's, and Wizard Burial Ground. It was sick!After that sick shit happened, we went to moe. for a few songs and wandered and hung out with Jess for a bit, only to eventually catch the last part of moe.'s set which was pretty good. They are no UM though. Here is the whole set, if you care:
Set One
2nd Self, Spires > JaJunk, Tribute to the Spinal Shaft > Red Tape, Mulche's Odyssey^
2nd Self, Spires > JaJunk, Tribute to the Spinal Shaft > Red Tape, Mulche's Odyssey^
Set Two
1348$, The Triple Wide, The Floor, Bright Lights^^, Sad But True / Clint Eastwood, Miss Tinkle's Overture$
1348$, The Triple Wide, The Floor, Bright Lights^^, Sad But True / Clint Eastwood, Miss Tinkle's Overture$
Encore
Cemetery Walk > Wizard Burial Ground$
Cemetery Walk > Wizard Burial Ground$
Notes
Sunshine Stage
^ with Les Claypool on whamola
$ with fireworks
^^ with Felix Pastorious replacing Ryan on bass
Sunshine Stage
^ with Les Claypool on whamola
$ with fireworks
^^ with Felix Pastorious replacing Ryan on bass
(Sweet wax covered shopping carts at night)Well, one day left.
GOERG out.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
From the President of the US
I hope everybody realizes what a huge deal this is - so in case you missed it:
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION
Forty years ago, patrons and supporters of the Stonewall Inn in New York City resisted police harassment that had become all too common for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. Out of this resistance, the LGBT rights movement in America was born. During LGBT Pride Month, we commemorate the events of June 1969 and commit to achieving equal justice under law for LGBT Americans.
LGBT Americans have made, and continue to make, great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society. There are many well-respected LGBT leaders in all professional fields, including the arts and business communities. LGBT Americans also mobilized the Nation to respond to the domestic HIV/AIDS epidemic and have played a vital role in broadening this country's response to the HIV pandemic.
Due in no small part to the determination and dedication of the LGBT rights movement, more LGBT Americans are living their lives openly today than ever before. I am proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration. These individuals embody the best qualities we seek in public servants, and across my Administration -- in both the White House and the Federal agencies -- openly LGBT employees are doing their jobs with distinction and professionalism.
The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress, but there is more work to be done. LGBT youth should feel safe to learn without the fear of harassment, and LGBT families and seniors should be allowed to live their lives with dignity and respect.
My Administration has partnered with the LGBT community to advance a wide range of initiatives. At the international level, I have joined efforts at the United Nations to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include enhancing hate crimes laws, supporting civil unions and Federal rights for LGBT couples, outlawing discrimination in the workplace, ensuring adoption rights, and ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security. We must also commit ourselves to fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic by both reducing the number of HIV infections and providing care and support services to people living with HIV/AIDS across the United States.
These issues affect not only the LGBT community, but also our entire Nation. As long as the promise of equality for all remains unfulfilled, all Americans are affected. If we can work together to advance the principles upon which our Nation was founded, every American will benefit. During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION
Forty years ago, patrons and supporters of the Stonewall Inn in New York City resisted police harassment that had become all too common for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community. Out of this resistance, the LGBT rights movement in America was born. During LGBT Pride Month, we commemorate the events of June 1969 and commit to achieving equal justice under law for LGBT Americans.
LGBT Americans have made, and continue to make, great and lasting contributions that continue to strengthen the fabric of American society. There are many well-respected LGBT leaders in all professional fields, including the arts and business communities. LGBT Americans also mobilized the Nation to respond to the domestic HIV/AIDS epidemic and have played a vital role in broadening this country's response to the HIV pandemic.
Due in no small part to the determination and dedication of the LGBT rights movement, more LGBT Americans are living their lives openly today than ever before. I am proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration. These individuals embody the best qualities we seek in public servants, and across my Administration -- in both the White House and the Federal agencies -- openly LGBT employees are doing their jobs with distinction and professionalism.
The LGBT rights movement has achieved great progress, but there is more work to be done. LGBT youth should feel safe to learn without the fear of harassment, and LGBT families and seniors should be allowed to live their lives with dignity and respect.
My Administration has partnered with the LGBT community to advance a wide range of initiatives. At the international level, I have joined efforts at the United Nations to decriminalize homosexuality around the world. Here at home, I continue to support measures to bring the full spectrum of equal rights to LGBT Americans. These measures include enhancing hate crimes laws, supporting civil unions and Federal rights for LGBT couples, outlawing discrimination in the workplace, ensuring adoption rights, and ending the existing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in a way that strengthens our Armed Forces and our national security. We must also commit ourselves to fighting the HIV/AIDS epidemic by both reducing the number of HIV infections and providing care and support services to people living with HIV/AIDS across the United States.
These issues affect not only the LGBT community, but also our entire Nation. As long as the promise of equality for all remains unfulfilled, all Americans are affected. If we can work together to advance the principles upon which our Nation was founded, every American will benefit. During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Summer Camp (Part I)
Well, SVG and I have been back from Summer Camp for a couple weeks now and I am finallt getting around to posting this:
We started our trip on Friday at 1 AM. We left the apartment and headed out onto the long dusty trail. It took us a good 6 hours or so to get there (thank gods for GPS). We pulled into the campsite around 7 am or so (their time) and pace around the campground until we figured out what to do. No one told us where to go or where to camp...or even where to park! So we hoisted all of our shit onto our backs and made the trek into the park. After settling on a spot just outside of the tree line. It quickly became blistering hot under the May sun. I, being the moron that I am, fell asleep for almost 2.5 hours in the hot sun...which eventually burned my skin. Ouch! At one point, this guy, Drew, who I always run into at UM shows, found me sleeping and took a picture of us. The picture is below. I barely woke up for it. He ended up being camped right behind us.
After waking up around noon or noon-thirty. Claudio and I made our way over to moe. It was, not surprisingly, boring. We only stayed for about a half hour before bouncing. We spent a good chunk of the day avoiding the sun over at Zach and Jess' shaded campsite. At 4 pm, we went to see Dark Star Orchestra...which also sucked. Finally, 6 pm rolled around and we mad our way to the Moonshine Stage for Buckethead. He was so awesome. It was him and an iPod and he still captivated the entire audience. Very awesome showman! Here is a little "Jordan":
Umphrey's was playing at the same stage after Buckethead so SVG and I ate some fungi sandwiches and hung out near the front row for them to start. Needless to say, UM fuckin rocked. The entire show was filled with jamming and they really tore it up. The opener to the 2nd set was The Who's "Baba O'Riley" which they brought out a fiddler Allison Kral, from Cornmeal. She is smokin' hot, IMO.
It was so awesome. The rest of the show rocked. Highlights from UM's set: Ocean Billy, jammed out Turn & Run, 11 and a half minute long Smell The Mitten (complete with killer bass action), and the huge fleshed Bridgeless. The entire setlist is below. After UM, we just walked around finishing off our trips. We went to some disco and I bought a beer, but nothing special. Rockin' first day!
We started our trip on Friday at 1 AM. We left the apartment and headed out onto the long dusty trail. It took us a good 6 hours or so to get there (thank gods for GPS). We pulled into the campsite around 7 am or so (their time) and pace around the campground until we figured out what to do. No one told us where to go or where to camp...or even where to park! So we hoisted all of our shit onto our backs and made the trek into the park. After settling on a spot just outside of the tree line. It quickly became blistering hot under the May sun. I, being the moron that I am, fell asleep for almost 2.5 hours in the hot sun...which eventually burned my skin. Ouch! At one point, this guy, Drew, who I always run into at UM shows, found me sleeping and took a picture of us. The picture is below. I barely woke up for it. He ended up being camped right behind us.
After waking up around noon or noon-thirty. Claudio and I made our way over to moe. It was, not surprisingly, boring. We only stayed for about a half hour before bouncing. We spent a good chunk of the day avoiding the sun over at Zach and Jess' shaded campsite. At 4 pm, we went to see Dark Star Orchestra...which also sucked. Finally, 6 pm rolled around and we mad our way to the Moonshine Stage for Buckethead. He was so awesome. It was him and an iPod and he still captivated the entire audience. Very awesome showman! Here is a little "Jordan":
Umphrey's was playing at the same stage after Buckethead so SVG and I ate some fungi sandwiches and hung out near the front row for them to start. Needless to say, UM fuckin rocked. The entire show was filled with jamming and they really tore it up. The opener to the 2nd set was The Who's "Baba O'Riley" which they brought out a fiddler Allison Kral, from Cornmeal. She is smokin' hot, IMO.
It was so awesome. The rest of the show rocked. Highlights from UM's set: Ocean Billy, jammed out Turn & Run, 11 and a half minute long Smell The Mitten (complete with killer bass action), and the huge fleshed Bridgeless. The entire setlist is below. After UM, we just walked around finishing off our trips. We went to some disco and I bought a beer, but nothing special. Rockin' first day!
Set One
40's Theme, Turn & Run > "Jimmy Stewart" > Turn & Run, Ocean Billy -> The Bottom Half, Mail Package, Last Man Swerving -> Believe the Lie
40's Theme, Turn & Run > "Jimmy Stewart" > Turn & Run, Ocean Billy -> The Bottom Half, Mail Package, Last Man Swerving -> Believe the Lie
Set Two
Baba O'Riley^, Nothing Too Fancy > Ocean Billy, Smell the Mitten > Much Obliged, Cemetary Walk II, Bridgeless* > Nothing Too Fancy
Baba O'Riley^, Nothing Too Fancy > Ocean Billy, Smell the Mitten > Much Obliged, Cemetary Walk II, Bridgeless* > Nothing Too Fancy
Encore
#Soul Food I > Preamble > Mantis
#Soul Food I > Preamble > Mantis
Notes
Moonshine Stage
^ with Allie Kral (Cornmeal) on violin
* with Xxplosive jam
# with Partyin' Peeps tease
Moonshine Stage
^ with Allie Kral (Cornmeal) on violin
* with Xxplosive jam
# with Partyin' Peeps tease
Thursday, June 4, 2009
RIP David Carradine
This morning (June 4th, 2009) Kill Bill actor, David Carradine, was found dead in a Bangkok hotel. Reports say he hung himself somewhere between Wednesday night and Thursday morning. He was in Thailand shooting the movie Stretch (for which I can find no info). Carradine was most famous for his role in the 1970s TV series Kung Fu, but later immortalized in his role as Bill in the Kill Bill series. I don't know much about his early works, but I will miss him and all his badassness.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
This Takes Some Big, Juicy Balls
Some kid in a Washington HIGH school was giving a speech about the legalization of marijuana. At some point during his speech, he lit up a joint! Then went on to finish smoking it and ate the rest!
What school is this where they don't stop him instantly? He was eventually arrested.
What school is this where they don't stop him instantly? He was eventually arrested.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Dear Hidden Valley
I've seen your recent commercials - you know "there's this magical wonderful place where kids eat their vegetables, and even like them!"
While I recognize that it is often difficult to get a regular amount of vegetables in a child's diet, do you really think it's better to have them eat vegetables but also add THAT MUCH to their fat intake at the same time? They may as well be eating french fries. Throwing a bunch of fat-filled sauce on vegetables will NOT make your child healthier. I have NO issues with Ranch dressing - I like it as much as the next guy - but at a certain point you realize that "wow dipping everything in ranch means that just from the ranch I've received all of my daily calorie, sodium, and fat intake."
And I have news for you: kids in hidden valley don't love vegetables. They love ranch. And if you spread enough ranch on it, even a pile of dog crap would be palatable.
COTTONMOUTH OUT!
While I recognize that it is often difficult to get a regular amount of vegetables in a child's diet, do you really think it's better to have them eat vegetables but also add THAT MUCH to their fat intake at the same time? They may as well be eating french fries. Throwing a bunch of fat-filled sauce on vegetables will NOT make your child healthier. I have NO issues with Ranch dressing - I like it as much as the next guy - but at a certain point you realize that "wow dipping everything in ranch means that just from the ranch I've received all of my daily calorie, sodium, and fat intake."
And I have news for you: kids in hidden valley don't love vegetables. They love ranch. And if you spread enough ranch on it, even a pile of dog crap would be palatable.
COTTONMOUTH OUT!
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