So I was thinking a lot about Muse lately...

And finally realized that I definitely needed to make a mix for my car. Yep...this guy is still using compact discs like its 1989 and they are still the wave of the motherfucking future.

Also, I went to Best Buy yesterday and had the best buying experience ever. I finally get the name. I signed up for that reward zone thing a while ago and i have been getting little gift card things from them for a bit decided to go and spend them on some exciting things for my life. (combining them with the ones that my parents decided to give me I ended up with a good little chunk)

What were my purchases? You ask longingly. Well, here they are: The new Futurama, Bolt, and Role Models. My total, with tax, was over 62$. My gift card thingies totaled 60$ flat. Well, I was fortunate enough to have been rung up by some sort of shift manager who decided that I should not have any balance to pay after using the cards so he just rang in my little 5$ card again and told me to keep my money.

How sweet is that?
Pretty fucking.
I know.

How the hell am I supposed to make an 80 minute mix when they have so many fucking good songs!?!?!?!? Damn your awesomeness.

Best of Homer Simpson (Part 3)

The final installment of quotes specifically dedicated to Homer Simpson. The next installment(s) will include the hilarious quotes of the interaction between Homer & Marge.

Homer: "Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?"
Apu: "Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamt it."
Homer: "Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple bags of Skittles."

"So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end."

"Homer no function beer well without."

"What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway."

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, but how drunk you get."

"Oh boy, buffalo testicles!"

"Operator, give me the number for 911!"

Homer: "Okay, don't panic. To find Flanders, you just have to think like Flanders."
Homer's brain: "I'm a big four-eyed lame-o and I wear the same stupid sweater everyday and..."
Homer: "The Springfield River!"

"So what you're saying Marge, is that we're definitely going to win tomorrow! Woo-hoo! Well I won't be needing this anymore. (tries to flush a stolen Oscar statue down the toilet, it makes a gurgling sound) Marge, someone broke the toilet."

Best of Homer Simpson (Part 2)

Here are more Homer Simpson quotes, as I said would be coming. Enjoy!

TV Announcer: "It's 11:00, do you know where your children are?"
Homer: "I told you last night, no! Where is Bart anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten."

Belle: "Are you wearing a grocery bag?"
Homer: "I have misplaced my pants."

"Look at me! I'm Peter Pantless!"

Ray Patterson: "Sorry I'm late everyone. Somebody tampered with my brakes!"
Homer: "Well then you should have been early."

Retiring Food Critic: "Who are you and why are you ruining my retirement party?"
Homer; "I'll have you know I wandered off from the tour."

Lindsay Nagle: "Well, your recovery begins today and we promise to give you all the sugar cookies and secondhand smoke you can handle."
Homer: "These sugar cookies you speak of, are they real or symbolic?"
Lindsay: "They're on that table over there."
Homer: "Oh, I don't want to walk twelve steps...because anything that takes "twelve steps" isn't worth doing! Get it?! Twelve?! Steps?! (wakes up outside) Hey, how'd I get here?"

"Your Honor, I would like to represent myself. Drunken hicks of the jury..."

Carmen Electra: "My face is up here Homer."
Homer: (looking at her breasts) "I've made my choice."

Homer: "Oh..my..God!"
Lisa: "What is it?"
Homer: "Trammampoline! Trambopoline!"

Hotelicopter?!

What will they think of next?

So, some company is building a hotel...out of a helicopter. It weighs well over 200 tons! While this seems like a pretty sweet idea, it doesn't seem like a very worthwhile one. That is going to use up a lot of fuel, like A LOT! That right there just seems like a waste for some rich asshole to take part in something that might crash anyways. I can't see this thing flying for a long time, unless they add some more propulsion, because that thing is fucking huge.

I would like to see it, but I'd be afraid to fly in it. I'd also feel guilty for wasting so much gas. I'm also not a rich, affluent asshole

Best of Homer Simpson (Part 1)

Hello fellow bloggers. Keeping with my Simpsons themed posts recently, I have collected a vast variety of quotes on a lot of Simpson characters. Over the course of the next week I will add these quotes as separate posts for your amusement. I have broken them up into the Simpson family, Homer, Bart, Bart & Lisa, Grampa, Moe, Krusty, Homer & Marge, Mr. Burns & Smithers, as well as many other characters. Where else would a Simpsons collection of quotes begin then with Homer?

"Kids, let me tell you about another so called "wicked guy." He had long hair and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...I forget. But the point is...I forget that too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car."

Homer: "All right, everybody in the pool!"
Amish Farmer: "'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English."
Homer: "D'oh-eth!"

"Oh I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish."

Homer: "Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place."
(looks around, seemingly oblivious that he is in a lesbian bar)
Homer: "I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap ladies!"
Woman: "What was her problem?"

(While watching Barney's film at the Springfield Film Festival)
Homer: "I'll never drink again."
Vendor: "I've got beer here!"
Homer: "I'll take ten."

"Lisa, honey, if you really want to preserve his memory, I recommend getting a tatoo. It preserves the things you love. (pulls up shirt sleeve) Starland Vocal Band?! They suck!"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow....well, good night."

"If I could say a few words, I'd be a better public speaker."

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins"
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely"

"Sweet merciful crap! My car!"

More to come...

Quote of the Day

"Yes Chef!"

Anybody on Hell's Kitchen.

Reminder, hell's totally sucks. Dont waste your time watching it. its totally lame. lame lame lame lame lame lame. lame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lamelame lame lame.


Really. Its that fucking lame.

Have you Played Wii Sports???

Cause you should.


I just found my wii sports game, and man, have I been missing out.


Also,

This Guy is drunk

Heroes is Backish!

It has been a long time since I've actually talked about Heroes. I'm going to give you a heads up in case you have not seen tonight's episode, I'm going to spoil the shit out of this episode. So, before you read this, watch the episode! It was actually a good episode among a bland season so far.

Now, I haven't seen the first 2 minutes or so, because I was still getting to my room, so I'm not really sure what happened to Sylar in Denko's apartment other than handing over the puppet master (whatever the hell his name is). Not sure why he was strung up. But, from then on, it was damn good.

I'm so glad Hiro finally got his fucking powers back! Except I had a problem with how he gets it back. He touched the kid? So what!? He talked about his mother before it happened, is that supposed to be his redemption? Where's the drama, where's the fight? I know Hiro was under an extreme sense of panic, which probably reignited his power, but it all felt...rushed. This is not the Hiro I want to love. But, with that said, I'm glad he has his powers back. Even if they are in a rudementary form (he's kind of where Peter is right now). I'm intrigued at the prospect that they now both have the journey to get their full powers back. Also, Ando is now a saiyan? Shooting electricity rockets? Sure, I'll buy it. I can't buy into the fact that he was so surprised that he could do that, even though he was preparing to do that. That makes no sense, but it was cool to see.

I like Angela Petrelli's character. She knows what has to be done and appearantly can escape from anyone. She's crafty. Oh, and she has a son that can fly (2 of them actually). I was glad to see Peter in this episode, but it was such a brief visit, I was kind of disappointed. Also, what's with the elevator shaft with no roof? Now that makes absolutely no sense. I'm still waiting for Peter to get his full power back...I know it's going to happen. He is way too underutilized at the moment.

It was almost too obvious that Micah is Rebel. I'm actually surprised at how resourseful he is. He's like the computer in Eagle Eye. I can see him being able to evade the agents for a long time, he seems to be honing his skill pretty well. Also, wow his voice got deep.

I'm still not a fan of Tracy Strauss (mostly because Ali Larter doesn't seem right for the part), but I am glad that she's using her powers more. That's exactly where I want to be. I want ice powers and have some serious control over them. Her freezing herself was kind of weird though. That wouldn't happen. I guess she did it to make it seem like she was dead, but it still irked me. She's still alive? What the fuck, T-1000?!

I wish Daphne was still alive. She's so hot.

I'm very surprised that they didn't have Claire in this episode. That's just insane. I thought the writers had a crush on her or something. Same thing with Nathan. Shocked.

I hope this episode was a glimpse of what we'll see in the 2nd half of the season. We deserve a good story. It's the only show about superheroes right now. It needs to up its game and FAST! I still have hope, and that's why I keep watching.


Damn I want ice powers...*dream*

Expansion

Well, I figured I owe all of my loves out there (who haven't heard part or all of what's goin on in life) a little bit of an update. Or my long awaited "expanding" that I should have done a few weeks ago.

First off, Kiznox, it's good to have you back. Glad to hear things are going pretty well. Rambo, you know I love you buddy and no more worried nighttime texts ;)

Where to begin... Well here's the facts:
I have one semester left of school.
I will most likely not be receiving any funding for said semester.
Going rate for a semester of out of state graduate tuition (the answer may shock you): $13,000
If I'm not getting any funding, I will also not be teaching. Whether that's a plus or minus has yet to be determined.
School is rather a piece of shit still, but I'm just ready to be done and start the next chapter of my life.

I am just finishing up with my spring break. Umph was awesome. The break has crawled along, and I've done a lot, which is really nice. I saw Goerg and SVG on Wednesday, always a pleasure. Then I spent Thursday and Friday in Ann Arbor, went to a piano bar the first night and an "anything but clothes" party at Pat's house on the second. I then returned for a final night to EL to see Hock and then traveled back home.

I did a lot of driving this week (I didn't mention the short trip back to EL on Friday evening before the party). This left me a lot of time to do some thinking about life in general, which I needed, especially with my current unfortunate financial situation (I'm downplaying it significantly here... I'm really in bad shape right now). I watched a few movies, all of which I enjoyed, but a few in particular (namely "Young People Fucking" and "I'm Reed Fish" - both of which I'd recommend to anyone) really hit me in a very sincere way. I think I can speak for all twenty-somethings when I say it's kind of a strange period in life. We're used to the coming of age film, or the college flick, or seeing young parents as the lead in a movie, but it's somehow different to see people who are supposed to be (and actually seem like they are in real life) in that middle time between the youthfulness of college and the maturity of adulthood.

I have to pause for a moment here to say that I have the feeling this is one of those sentiments that exists for the rest of your life. I've always expected that eventually my age would be the destination I had been pushing towards, but I don't think that will ever be the case.

So basically, I've been pretty afraid of this whole growing up thing. Like I was going to end up boring, and used up, and no longer have anything to offer to anyone once I got out of my "young irresponsible" phase. But now I'm starting to realize that isn't the case, and the exciting portion of my life hasn't even started yet (and wont until I nuke Bloomin... err that is, until I move away from Bloomington). I've been thinking a lot about my life thus far and the decisions I've made, and who I am, and I'm actually pretty happy with where it ended up. This is sort of my quarter-life check up. I spent many years of my youth wishing I were more popular, or attractive, or athletic, or cooler or whatever. More something. More like the others. And strangely, now that I look at other people, I feel like my personality and life are so much richer than many of theirs. I'm a night person - in the sense from the 50s which kinda just means one of those people who never really took to the straight and narrow path. I'm extremely happy with my sexuality. I'm glad I have had the experiences with illicit substances that I have, and that I have used them in many cases to honestly enrich my life, not just for shits and giggles. Some people never know what it's life to feel the sublime. To really throw your world into turmoil, and break the rules. Not to say they haven't had hardships and strife and everything, but they will never understand the range of emotions that I can experience from a single moment. I'm sounding like an after school special, but honestly, I realized this in a lot of ways from talking to my one close friend in the voice department here. She and I got dinner and we talked about how from our first meeting, we knew that there was something special, and different about each other - we are those night people. And just like any good pothead can spot a narc a mile away - or another pothead for that matter - we recognize our own.

I have no point to any of this. I'm just in a mood to get some stuff down in writing.

Incidentally, along with this whole getting older and (hopefully) more mature thing, I'm in what is probably the healthiest relationship of my life. Long distance sucks, but there is a trust between me and Pat that is really different from the other long distance relationships I've tendered. And it feels so good to be with someone who'll give me a kiss in front of whoever cares to look without any worry about people's reactions. But still to be with someone who doesn't feel the need to be constantly entertained or coddled. And I don't feel like I'm like that anymore, so maybe I should say it's nice to be that boyfriend who doesn't require or expect certain things from a relationship

I'm just happy to have what I have, and feel what I feel, and I'll make the rest work somehow.
-Cottonmouth Out

When I say "movies", you say "blogpost"!

Well, it's been about forty-some-odd days since I listed the most recent, previously unseen movies. So i have averaged about one new movie per day, but there are a few days that I didn't watch any and some that I watched as much as four! Well here goes another chronicle in my life.

Cream of the Crop:
Watchmen, Miss March, Sex Drive, Into the Wild Green Yonder, Young People Fucking, Dead Poet's Society, Eagle vs. Shark, The Fall, Coraline 3D, Employee of the Month, Planet B-Boy, Flash of Genius, There Will Be Blood, Cider House Rules

Comments: Watchmen was obviously freakin sweet, it had it all. Into the Wild... was hilarious and definitely did the end of the Futurama series proud! YPF is a series of hilarious sexual situations (including the Exes, the Friends, or the Roomates...nicey-nice). Employee of the Month is NOT the Dane Cook film, it is a story about a man who loses it and decided to shoot up his work...very funny. Eagle vs. Shark stars Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords and it illustrates just how amazing awkward love can be. The final three in that list are great if you really want some damn good drama lead by amazing casts.

Decent:
Havoc, Bottle Shock, Good Dick, Grind, W, The World's Fastest Indian, Religulous, Life, What We Do Is Secret, American Psycho, Boiler Room, Mothman Prophecies, That Thing You Do!, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Crash

Comments: The best ones out of these are: Mr. Ripley (creepy), Mothman (wake up, number 27), and American Psycho (gives new thoughts about Huey Lewis). Crash had an amazing group of actors. W definitely surprised me. It ended up getting sort of weird near the end. Havoc has Anne Hathaway's titties like 3 times. Saweeeet!

Could Have Been Better / Okay:
Pathology, The Birdcage, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Stealing Harvard, Still Waiting..., The Return of Jafar, Extreme Movie, Valkyrie, Valiant, Chapter 27, The Tale of Despereaux, Dickie Roberts Former Child Star, The Da Vinci Code, The Happening, Untraceable, Bedtime Stories

Comments: The two sequels (Jafar and Still Waiting...) severely lacked against their originals, but had their moments. The Genie is voiced by Dan Castellaneta (Homer J[ay] Simpson). Betime Stories was only PG, which showed. I thought Paul Blart was going to be hilarious, but it ended up dragging. Da Vinci Code had no subtitles when I downloaded it, so I don't really know what happened (any help?). Untraceable would have been better with a stronger ending. It was about a killer who would put his victims online in some sort of contraption and the more people visited the site, the faster the victim would die. It is a good premise, but the killer should have suffered more.

Bottom of the Barrel:
Open Season 2, An American Carol, Zoom, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Sandlot 2

Comments: BLECH! Crap! The best one out of these was Zoom with Tim Allen! The Sandlot 2 (yes, there is a second one...and a THIRD one!) was basically the same exact plot as the first one, just done shittier with different characters in a different decade.

As usual, if you have anymore questions about movies I didn't mention, I'll be happy to help. Rock and roll!

GOERG out.

PS: I also just saw Fanboys and what Hock says is correct in his earlier post.

Quote of the Day

Came across this yesterday and thought I'd share:

"Alright, kids, it's now my job to teach you the theory of evolution. Now I for one think evolution is a bunch of bull crap, but I've been told I have to teach it anyway.

It was thought of by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: In the beginning, we were all fish swimming around in the water. One day, a couple of fish had a retard baby. And the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So the retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands. And it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this retard frog squirrel.

And then that had a retard baby, which was a monkey-fish-frog. And then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you. So there you go – you're the retarded offspring of five monkeys that had butt sex with a fish squirrel. Congratulations."
-Ms. Garrison

Hock's Rant-O-Rama: The Sequel!

I'm going to continue because I thought of some more things

Found out today that I'm going to North Carolina this coming week. It's almost set in stone that my flight will leave at around 6:30am, which means that I'll have to get to the airport at 5:30am which means I'll have to leave my apartment no later than 4am which means I'll have to get up at 2:30am to get ready. So, basically I'm going to have Saturday night (if I'm lucky I'll be home by 10pm) and half of Sunday to do anything. Of course this weekend Johnny Cottonmouth decides to come up. The weekend my fucking job is letting me stay home for 24 hours. Thanks, life! While I have no problem going to N. Carolina, because I've never been there before and would like to see it, I wish I had some fucking time at home. I seriously wasted a week of my life by being here this week and I wish I could have come home today. Also, a non-stop flight to Raleigh from Metro is less than 2 hours...the flight I'll probably end up taking is close to 5 hours, which includes an hour and a half between flights. Fuck me!

So, luckily I didn't drive this week, because we put on about 600 miles so far NOT including the drive from MI or the drive back. I need to get rid of my car. Of course when my dad came up with an idea of what to do, the car I wanted was sold. Once again, fuck me! So now I'm left with almost no options. Luckily it'll be sitting in a parking garage for another fucking week. God damn I don't want to leave MI so quickly.

So, my dad and I did my taxes last weekend. Because they claimed me, I'm getting back a grand total of $205! My dad's only words: "Welcome to life, you'll learn to deal with it." WTF?! I was expecting so much more this year. I guess I'll let them have it, they've helped me out with so much in the past couple of years. BTW: Fuck You, the government!

I hate that I can't remember much of anything from my childhood. I was on Google earlier and the logo was based off the book The Very Hungry Catepillar, which was completely wiped from my memory until I saw Google's logo. Fuck! I want to remember my childhood...any aspect of it!

That brings me to the next part of my rant. I wish I had some reference from my childhood that is just so amazingly awesome that no one else has thought of, just so I can have a new Xbox Live name. On that topic, I want to get a new 360 for a bigger hard drive, but its so much of a fucking hassle to change things over from my old HDD. Also, with my fucking job it feels like its getting harder and harder to even play the fucking thing. AHHHHHRRRGGGH!!

I was at the bar in the hotel last night and this incredibly hot chick sat down. She was with a horse face nasty. They ordered waters. We started talking to them. They barely returned the convo. The girl gave me the "fuck me" stare. They left. I noticed they were fishing for free drinks. Fuck those bitches. The bartender informed me they were most likely prostitutes. HA! Which reminds me how much I miss sex. Not only is this job slowly killing me, it competely killed my social life and any chance I had to get laid. Fuck me...please?

All the posts that Rambo did about the old Simpsons episodes made me realize how amazingly awesome seasons 2-12 are. Downright genius. What happened to my dearly beloved? I loved you once, but then you turned to whoring yourself out for 20+ seasons. While breaking records is great, you should have bowed out when you had the chance to do it gracefully. I have missed so many episodes that I honestly don't care to watch the new ones. That saddens me. I am deeply hurt. Matt Groening, you fuck head, you're lucky Futurama is super amazingly awesome or I'd shoot you in the dick (which is something you should never do). I'll watch the series finale (whenever the fuck that will be), but until then, I don't give a fuck. Thankfully, I have some of the DVDs.

Once again, while writing that rant, I forgot some of the other things that piss me off. God Damn mother fucking cunt shit dick grapes pokemon!

Oh, by the way, Knowing was competely off the wall. It was rather intense and decent, but the ending was absurbed. Way more than Indiana Jones 4. Also, Nick Cage's hair is one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen on a man's head. Why is he so popular?


Hock out!

So I got a new couch...

And its purple.
And awesomely comfortable.
And too big for the elevator.
Which means that I had to luck out and have a bunch of peurto rican teenagers help me carry it 3 flights of stairs to my apartment.

Question: What is the right thing to do in a situation like that? I mean, do you tip people when they help you do something like that? I had no idea what to do, but once we set the couch down they took off...so yeah, what would you do?

Anyway, I wanted to focus on how purple this couch is because I know one of you would love that. Its totally purple. No pattern, no design. Just purple. I love it. I have this idea to theme my living room in a black and red and purple flavor...and then I realize that I am getting waaaaaay too old. Or lame. Is that lame? It could be lame. I dont care. Its a sweet purple couch.

Also, I have a new (Yep, another one) tv. Its the one that I was going to get for christmas, but couldnt accept. Yep. Its also sweet.

I know that I have not posted in a while...hell, my posts are so sporatic at this point that I wonder if I'll even be able to get into this thing sometimes.

Hmm...

New things in my life...

Car.
Couch.
TV.
Random Movies.
Best Buy reward zone gift cards.
A free second bedroom, or my new den.

Fun things in life...
Car.
Couch.
TV.
Random Movies.
Best Buy reward zone gift cards.
A free second bedroom, or my new den.

Things I want...
To be able to do drugs again. (though, I am pretty sure that I could do mushrooms, but have zero intention on doing that by myself so Im at a loss)
More movies.
More video games, or at least some understanding of what the fuck is going on in Prince of Persia. Seriously, that shit makes no sense to me.


Did you see Watchmen? You should. Twice. And then again. I cannot wait for it to come out on DVD so that I can get the Pirate comic-movie thing as well. (Hock, you know what I mean)

Random...
One of my teachers from middle school facebooked me. Thats so weird to me. I used to think about "gettin all up in that" before I had pubes to shave off.

Also random...
I have a ton of vinyl and no freaking record player. And when I try to find one online the best thing that I can come up with is a 300$ one off craigslist or a 20$ one off craigslist that is broken. Who sells broken shit?

And off topic as if there was ever a topic to begin with...
I still want to learn how to play drums. Which is good, because I now know that I actually want to do this...it has been waaaaay over 6 months. And that is the want vs kinda want span of time. So yeah...my next life goal, (beyond fixing all my shit) is to save up and buy an electronic drum set. I have looked at them before at Marshalls, but have not really looked at it. I am super pumped. I think that my hope is to get good enough to play at venues. Not necessarily join a band, but maybe find a way to play with a band for a night or so. Who knows?

"Change has come to America"

Gripes...
I wish I had more time...I mean, I love my job, which is something that I never thought that I would say, but I still wish I had more time. I work hard, like insanely hard, and I definitely get back what I put in...but still. There is somewhere in that "work hard, play hard" thing that doesnt equate for me. I am usually so fucking tired from working hard that I cant manage to play hard.
I dont have nearly as much money now that I am actually taking care of my shit. Damn. Couldnt bills just not exist?
Cancer.
The last couple episodes of South Park. I feel like they are going back to the topical and not focusing on reality...but whafuck is that for a thought. I mean, its a show about 4th graders.
Heroes not being on last week. I was pumped.


Welp. That should do for the moment. I am sure that you are bored, or have given up and not read this far. I hope that you all are doing well. I will try to be more, well, around...but you know me. Aloof as hell.

Hock's Rant-O-Rama

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd just rant.

First off, FUCK traffic! Also, fuck taxi drivers! They are fucking insane here (Chicago). I heard that New York's are crazier, and if so that would be insane, but the one's here are definitely assholes.

On that note, I'm pretty sure I hate my job. Especially this week. This week we were supposed to open a store in downtown Chicago. Well, they were pending a second review from the health inspector before they could open. The inspector was supposed to be there by 8:30am on Wed. He still hasn't shown. So, we were sent to Algonquin, which is about an hour and a half away from the city (depending on traffic). What are we doing there? More or less...NOTHING! We helped open the store for these guys, so they know us, but by no means do they need our help or "support". So, because the fucking corrupt health inspector can't get to the fucking store we are here to open, we are bullshitting around an hour and a half away. That's 3 pointless hours on the road everyday. Thank god my car isn't here. I have to do this until fucking Saturday!

I hate when cars show their poor quality. I don't really understand why, in some cars, the vents still shoot out hot/cold air even when it's OFF?! It doesn't make sense! It's off, what the fuck is keeping them on? I've experienced it in several cars. Shitty.

I want a fucking normal schedule back. I don't want to have to wake up at 5am to get somewhere by 11am to work until 8pm. I want to get up at 7am, work at 8am and be home by 5pm. Damn that would be nice. I would also accept working strange hours if I actually enjoyed the work I was doing.

I wish I had more skills. In anything. Any extra skill to enhance my life. I have become so mundane and I hate it.

Because I'm on the road so much, it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to eat healthy. Fuck that! I'm gaining weight and not working out. I hate myself.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go to 311 and Incubus (and possibly Lolla, depending on the lineup) this summer, but I'm sure my job is going to somehow fuck me over and keep me from going.

I hate using so many commas, it makes me feel like I just use a bunch of run-on sentences all the time...which I probably do.

Finally, I fucking hate not remembering all the things I originally wanted to rant about. Fuck.


Hock out!

Draco Malfoy sings

I wrote JC and Goerg about this already but I wanted to put it up here. Tom Felton (who plays Draco in the Harry Potter films) has a great voice and some of his songs (only six or so officially released on iTunes) are pretty good.

Have a listen to this melody of about four or five songs and let me know what you think:

Umphreekend!

::This is the attempt at a recounting of the days dated March 12-14, 2009, in which I, and others, saw Umphrey's McGee 3 times at Royal Oak Music Theatre, and two nights at the Murat Egyptian Room in Indianapolis::

Now with two full UM weekends under my belt, I would have to say that there is no way in hell that anything can top it. This past weekend, Claudio and I drove from Okemos to Rochester to Royal Oak to Rochester then to Okemos then to Bloomington then to Indianapolis then to Bloomington then to Indianapolis then to Okemos. A lot of back tracking (my arch nemesis)! It would be almost impossible to recount this entire weekend by going straight through it. So I will split it up into categories: Music, drugs, road trip, friends.

Road Trip: The traveling to and from Indiana was about 18 hours total. This included the driving to and from Indianapolis from Bloomington twice (an hour and half drive). Thankfully, the ride down to Indiana was easy-peasy (lemon-squeezy) due to the rockin' UM tunes and the copious amounts of pot. Since Scott and I had to work on Sunday morning, after the show on Saturday night, we left right from the venue and accidentally stayed on the wrong highway for too long and ended up adding an extra 30-45 minutes. Boo that.

Friends: Along this journey, there were many friends. Besides me and my P.I.C.S.V.G, we met up with Jessie Francis, Pat O'Brien, and their friend Sarah at the Royal Oak show. It was sweet! It was the first UM show for all three of them. Frankly, they got a damn good show. For the next nights of rockin', JCottonmouth was hanging and tripping with us all day and night. It is always Glory-ous to see him. Jessy and Zach were also at the Murat shows, but we were not with them very much.

Drugs: As previously mentioned, Claudio and I picked up quite the large amount of [ommitted]. It was the perfect amount to keep us comfortably smizzing all weekend, including the end of the road trip. At the Royal Oak show, I did have a few beers and smizzed a couple bizzes, but was pretty much sober by the end of the first set. But on SATURDAY, Claudio, JC, and I decided to slip into another dimesnsion and eat some fungi. After THAT amazing experience, we asked ourselves the very important question...Do you want to do it again the next day? And we said yes. So as far as drugs stood, the weekend was a blur.

Music: This is the most important part of the weekend. The other things did make the weekend better, but the shows were off the chain!

a.) Royal Oak Music Theatre: We got to hear a couple of the Mantis tracks the first night, but nothing out of this world. Made to Measure did have a kind of jammed ending. The 2x2 is super extended and fleshed out and the Phil's Farm is banging, definitely highlights. And finally, my first Utopian Fir! It took 25 shows for me to see one of my favorite tracks. Rock!

b.) Murat Egyptian Room (1st Night): Opening with a strong Mantis track like Spires was a good idea and then they kept up the energy. The covers at this show were crazy awesome. They played Wings' Let 'Em In and a Thriller / Another Brick in the Wall mash-up. Killer stuff! I think my favorite part of this show was the Cemetery Walk II that went on for nearly 13 minutes. I could only describe what I was seeing as "light and sound being splashed around on stage." I really hope they play 2nd Self!

c.) Murat Egyptian Room (2nd Night): Hurt Bird Bath as an opening song was the coolest fucking thing ever. The lights were on point, the jams were tight and loose at the same time (somehow), and it all came together perfectly. During one of their jams, Nick Blasky came out on stage and conducted UM's jam. He would cut instruments, quicken the tempo, or even change the music style completely. It was hilarious! There is a tie for my two favorite songs of the night: 1348 and The Floor. Both of these songs really allowed me to let my long hair fly.

So I guess I am done rambling and bragging about my awesome weekend. I hope every is having a happy St. Patty's Day.

GOERG out.

PS: I am at 46 movies! So close!

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes (Season 11)

This is the last season that is actually out on DVD so it may be a little harder to continue based upon the fact I would need to watch others on a computer. I will do my best to continue on with season 12. Does anyone know if it's scheduled for DVD release any time soon? I decided that I would do two quotes a piece for this season.

Number 5: "Pygmoelian" (Episode 242)

Moe gets plastic surgery to look more attractive and ends up staring on a soap opera.

Favorite quotes:
Lenny: "Moe, this liquor license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you!"
Moe: "Yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated for this state and real."

"Duffman can't breathe! Oh no!"

Number 4: "Faith Off" (Episode 237)

Bart becomes a faith healer while Homer decides to build a float for the Springfield U vs. Springfield A&M football game.

Favorite quotes:
Homer: "I hate Springfield U so much!"
Lisa: "You went to Springfield U, you hate A&M."
Homer: "So much."

Todd: "Is he killing that guitar daddy?"
Flanders: "Yes son."

Number 3: "Brother's Little Helper" (Episode 228)

Bart takes a new drug called "Focusyn" and claims that Major League Baseball is spying on him.

Favorite quotes:
Principal Skinner: "Thank you for coming."
Homer: "Thank you for getting me out of work."

(Marge stands up to the tank that Bart is driving)
Homer: "My God is she brave, standing up to that freaked out junkie."
Lisa: "Dad, that junkie is your son!"
Homer: "Why don't you just tell everybody!"

Number 2: "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder" (Episode 232)

Homer bowls a 300 game and is a star...for about a week.

Favorite quotes:
Carl: "Homer, what whacky name do you want?"
Homer: "Are Poo and Ass taken?"

(As Homer is drowning in the ocean)
Homer: "Maggie, call Aquaman!"

Number 1: "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner" (Episode 229)

Homer becomes a food critic and, while initially loving everything, starts giving bad reviews and makes a lot of enemies in the restaurant business.

Favorite quotes:
Homer: "If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

Newspaper columnist: "We've been meaning to have a talk with you about your reviews. Everything is a rave! Nine thumbs up, what the hell is that?!"

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes (Season 10)

Number 5: "Homer Simpson in 'Kidney Trouble'" (Episode 211)

Grampa needs a kidney transplant and Homer agrees to give him one. However, Homer doesn't realize that it's major surgery and not just a simple procedure.

Favorite quote:
Homer: "2 hours!? Why did they build this Ghost Town so far away?"
Lisa: "Because they discovered gold right over there."
Homer: "It's because they're stupid. That's why everyone does everything."

Number 4: "They Saved Lisa's Brain" (Episode 225)

Lisa joins the Springfield chapter of MENSA and, after Quimby skips town, helps to run the town, only to see they are too smart for their own good.

Favorite quote:
Homer: "Look I got runner up prize!"
Lisa: "You took second place?"
Homer: "No but I got it!"
(closes door, then opens back up)
Homer: "Stealing is wrong."

Number 3: "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo" (Episode 226)

The Simpsons take a cheap vacation to Tokyo but lose all their money and have to win their plane tickets home on a Japanese game show.

Favorite quote:
Bart: "Knife goes in, guts come out."
Fish: "Spare my life and I shall grant you three..."
(Fish screams as Bart cuts it)
Bart; "Knife goes in, guts come out."

Number 2: "Viva Ned Flanders" (Episode 213)

Ned tells the town he is 60 years old but has never done anything exciting. Homer decides to help Ned get some excitement in his life...by going to Vegas. However, they get so drunk, they marry two waitresses!

Favorite quote:
Homer: "We've got to get out of this Ned."
Ned: "Well do something, this is all your fault. You and your stupid program!"
Homer: "Blame me if you must but never speak ill of the program! The program is rock solid, the program is sound."
Homer & Ned's new wives: "Yoo hoo!"
Homer: "Oh, those awful women want their omelets."

Number 1: "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken" (Episode 214)

The Springfield Police department imposes a curfew on the children and they decide to get back at everyone by telling their secrets. (One of my all time favorite episodes)

Favorite quote:
Lisa: "And guess who's been practicing medicine without a license?"
(Dr. Hibbert squirms)
Lisa: "That's right...Homer Simpson!"
Homer: "D'oh!"

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes (Season 9)

I've been watching a lot of Simpsons episodes in order to complete these seasons, which has been awesome.

Number 5: "Lisa the Simpson" (Episode 195)

Lisa is told by Grampa that she is cursed by the "Simpson gene" and she is doomed to lose her intelligence.

Favorite quote:
Lisa: "I'm strongly opposed to Proposition 305."
TV Producer: "You're against discount bus fares for war widows?"
(Later)
Lisa: "I'm supposed to talk to you about Proposition 305."
Homer: "Moochin' war widows."

Number 4: "The Joy of Sect" (Episode 191)

The Simpson family joins the latest fad of a cult, "The Movementarians."

Favorite quote:
"Homer no function beer well without."

Number 3: "Simpson Tide" (Episode 197)

Homer joins the Naval Reserves and, well, you know the rest.

Favorite quote:
Grampa: "My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!"

Number 2: "Lisa the Skeptic" (Episode 186)

Lisa discovers an "angel" on an archaeological dig but is skeptical about whether or not it is real.

Favorite quotes:
Mr. Burns: "Oh fiddle faddle, everyone knows our mutants have flippers. Whoops, I've said too much. Smithers, use the amnesia ray."
Smithers: "You mean the revolver sir?"
Mr. Burns: "Precisely. Be sure to wipe your own mind clear when you're finished."

Lisa: "It's gone!"
Homer: "Oh no, this can't be happening! What the hell are we going to do with 10,000 angel ashtrays?"
Bart: "I could take up smoking."
Homer: "You damn well better."

Number 1: "City of New York vs. Homer Simpson" (Episode 179)

Homer's car ends up illegally parked in New York and the Simpsons must go retrieve it.

Favorite quote:
Homer: "Alright New York, I'm coming back, but you're not gettin' this!"
(Throws wallet into fire)
Lisa: "Dad, our baby pictures were in there."
Homer: "Don't you start!"

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes (Season 8)

Here is the other season I promised you. I am also closing in on Season 9 being complete as well. I've been watching a lot of TV recently...

Number 5: "In Marge We Trust" (Episode 175)

Marge becomes the "Listen Lady" at church when Rev. Lovejoy decides it's no longer worth listening to people's problems.

Favorite quote:
(Rev. Lovejoy is giving long sermon)
(Homer hits head on pew) "Dammit!"

Number 4: "Hurricane Neddy" (Episode 161)

A hurricane knocks down Ned Flanders' house and he becomes hostile towards town.

Favorite quote:
Ned: "You ugly hate filled man."
Moe: "Hey, I may be ugly and hate filled but...what was the last thing you said?"

Number 3: "Burns Baby Burns" (Episode 157)

Burns is shocked to learn he has a long lost son, Larry Burns (Rodney Dangerfield), who turns out to be a major disappointment.

Favorite quotes:
Mr. Burns: "How were his test scores?"
Yale Professor: "Let's just say this: he spelled Yale with a 6."

Mr. Burns: "You, foodbag, do you have a son?"
Homer: "Yes sir I do."
Mr. Burns: "Is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?"
Homer: "Oh all the time! Have you ever met this kid Milhouse? He's this little weiner.."

Number 2: "The Springfield Files" (Episode 163)

Homer sees an alien and Mulder and Scully are called to investigate.

Favorite quote:
Groundskeeper Willy: "It's a monster! Kill it!"
Smithers: "It's not a monster, it's Mr. Burns!"
Groundskeeper Willy: "Aw, it's Mr. Burns. Kill it!"

Number 1: "Homer vs. Eighteenth Amendment" (Episode 171)

Prohibition hits Springfield and Homer turns into the Beer Baron to sell booze to the city.

Favorite quotes:
Quimby advisor: "Election in November, election in November."
Mayor Quimby: "Again? This stupid country."

Homer: "We're going out Marge. If we're not back avenge our deaths!"
Marge: "Alright!"

Rex Banner: "Pet shop eh? I just have one question. What kind of pet shop is filled with rambunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1 AM?"
Moe: "Um...the best damn pet shop in town!"

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes (Season 7)

I know I have slacked off on this since December, but I have two new seasons to give you my favorite quotes from, starting with season 7.

Number 5: "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"" (Episode 150)

You all know which one this is.

Favorite quote:
Monty Burns: "Oh Simpson, can't you go five seconds without embarassing yourself?"
(Pants fall down)
Grampa: "How long was that?"

Number 4: "Team Homer" (Episode 140)

Homer starts his own bowling team but has to deal with one teammate they don't like: Mr. Burns.

Favorite quote:
Homer: "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."
Marge: "Homer, watch your mouth!"
Homer: "Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening."

Number 3: "King Sized Homer" (Episode 135)

Homer gains a lot of weight so he can go on disability and work from home.

Favorite quote:
Homer: "I've got to call the plant to warn them!"
(Tries to dial the number)
Telephone Operator: "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the key pad with your palm now."

Number 2: "Bart on the Road" (Episode 148)

Bart gets a fake ID and takes Nelson, Martin and Milhouse with him on a cross country trip for Spring Break.

Favorite quote:
Lisa: "Bart rented a car with a phony driver's license and drove Milhouse, Nelson and Martin to a wig outlet in Knoxville and the car got crushed and they're out of money and they can't get home and Bart's working as a courier and just came back from Hong Kong."
Homer: "Yes. That's a real pickle. Would you excuse me for a moment?"
(gets into radiation suit and screams/curses)
Homer: "Alright, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to fly home, then I will murder him."

Number 1: "Summer of 4 Foot 2" (Episode 153)

The family takes a trip to the Flanders cottage and Lisa makes friends with some cool kids.

Favorite quote:
(While playing "Mystery Date")
Marge: "Come on Bart, your turn, your turn!"
(Bart picks card)
Marge: "Oh, you got the dud!"
Homer: "Ah ha ha ha ha! He looks just like you poindexter!"

Goerg

If you haven't yet, watch the original Manchurian Candidate. It's SO good. It's an old movie, don't get high or you'll probably get tired, but it's seriously one of the best movies I've seen in forever. Watching it makes me want to write a thesis on it, I'm so interested.
so yeah. 1962 version - none of this 2004 crap

Whafuck?

The Fast and the Furious 4: Fast & Furious.

Nice job Hollywood. Way to stretch those brain muscles.

And the tagline? New Model. Original Parts.

What does that even mean? I classify this as an epic fail.

Cottonmouth gives this film a preemptive 7.4 thumbs down

Also, as a side note, as if it were any surprise, I think I have a boyfriend now :)

As a second side note, I'm losing my assistantship, and probably won't have the money for school next year. I'd expand on that but I'm just exhausted

Legalize Marijuana?

This is hilarious. It starts off like it's going to be serious then it just turns funny.

R.I.P. Wild Bills

The bar that has given me many drunk nights and has hosted infamous "Day before Thanksgiving" parties, has officially closed it's doors. No notice was given to pretty much anybody. It had a waterpipe burst and, I'm going to assume, too much money was required to fix it.

We did a cheers to the memory of Wild Bills and all the good times we've had. We'll miss you Bills.

This is absolutely hilarious

This is a news report of a guy and his wife who called 911 after eating pot brownies. Sorry the audio is a little in front of the pictures.

Crazy Road Trip

After watching Fanboys, and from watching many other "road trip" movies, I wish I could just take the most random trip for the most random reason. I want to take you guys along for some random trip across the country for some insane reason. Along the way, it'd be awesome to run into the most random people and do the most random things. Learning all sorts of crap the whole way. In the end, finding the girl of my dreams and maybe even finding a new job. Oh wait, what am I saying? My life isn't a movie. I'd probably make it to Indiana and realize I have to work on Monday and that my life isn't exciting. I also don't have the luck to do something completely insane and have it work in my favor that well. Dammit, movies! I want a fun adventure without going to jail or losing my job...unless good things come out of it...which is never in real life.

I just need more excitement in my life than the same shit week in and week out. I need to go to Vegas, that seems like a good time. Good things happen there, right?

The Force is Strong with This One

I just saw the movie Fanboys, and I gotta say it was excellent! There are so many Star Wars references it would make any geek flip out. But what do you expect? It's a movie about Star Wars. It made me happy that I was able to pick up on every subtle thing that happened in reference to Star Wars. Yes, I am a big geek.

Everyone was just perfect in this movie. Jay Baruchel played a classic reserved geek, who knows everything about SW. Sam Huntington played his usual leader role pretty well, but made a transition to go on the trip almost as fast as it took Anakin to turn to the dark side, which was kinda awkward. Dan Fogler was hysterical and had the greatest van ever, complete with sound effects. The lightspeed part is amazing. Chris Marquette was kind of a dick, but still fit the part of geek. The toughest part for me to believe was Kristen Bell's Zoe. The reason being, she's way too hot to be that geeky. I'm not saying its not possible for an incredibly hot chick to be interested in Star Wars like that, but its probably not likely. I would totally bang her. The rest of the cast, involving mostly the best cameos ever, were awesome! There are just so many of them, I was so happy.

Goerg, you'll love this movie. Even more if you actually like Star Wars.


I was thoroughly entertained from start to finish. I give it 9 peyote trips out of 10

Detroit City Council

I honestly cannot imagine how a group of people got to be this insane. Read this article from the Detroit News and see just how crazy they've become.