The Weekly WYR

That's right folks Rambo Dakota is back again with another installment of WYR. Streeter was off this week, apparently, from College Humor's posting of the WYR and I don't want him to be gone for too long...you'll see why with some of these questions....watch for the exhibits.

Would You Rather...

Be addicted to meth or be addicted to dragon porn?

Does this give you an idea of why I think this will be an off day of the WYR? Thought so. Let me begin by saying that at least meth is real and not fictitious like dragons...let alone dragon porn...creepy. I mean as creepy as dragon porn may be I'd never want to be addicted to meth. There are other fun drugs out there that don't do the shit meth does to you.

Superman that ho or make it rain on them hoes?

Exhibit A. I know, I'm dumber for having read that too.

Have no knees or no elbows?

Either way this makes life extremely difficult. With no knees it makes it nearly impossible to walk and without elbows it would appear to be difficult to write or even eat. Not being able to walk is one of those things that you can get used to and only need so much help with after a while. Not being able to write or eat...well that's a little different and something that would, in my opinion, make me more reliant on a person that I would be willing to admit.

Have sex with a 21 year old or have sex with 20 one year olds?

Exhibit B. This should get a "Potential Pedophile" Award.

Be in Apatow's Superbad gang or the Frat Pack?

Although Superbad was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen and the creators are some of the funniest as well, being in the Frat Pack and making movies with those huge name actors would be awesome. To be in a movie with Vince Vaughn and company would be a moment to remember...how you ask? From the dollar bills you will be rolling in after making the movie.

Always have to answer the phone by saying, "I am feelin' you!" or have to end every phone conversation by shouting, "Boom goes the dynamite!"?

I'm really at a loss for words on this one. We'll just pick one for the shit of it because I'm really not going to give either of these any in-depth analysis...are you feelin' me?

Have your mom not love you or your dad not love you?

There really is no answer to this question that just doesn't depress the hell outta you. However, since it is a WYR question I probably choose Dad not loving me over Mom. It is a shitty decision either way but, as a male, I will always need my Mom and could always find male figures to look up to without them being my Dad.

Always have the sneeze sensation and never sneeze or always be bloated with gas and never fart?

Ever since the surgery I have had that bloating feeling more than usual and I know how badly I would slit someone's throat if I could not get rid of that feeling...enough said.

Have your own theme music or be able to summon a conga line behind you whenever you wanted?

As tempting as a conga line may sound to, oh, nobody I am going to have to say my own theme music. How friggin awesome would that be? I can hear it in my head now...sweet.

Be worshiped by a cult or not be worshiped by a cult?

Unlike some of you readers out there my ego is not as big as you may think that I would drool at the fact of being worshiped by a cult. Granted you would have people at your beck-and-call for any little thing because you are the "end all be all" but eventually you get people taking things way too far and that I cannot have on my conscience.

Take too many hits of acid on Halloween or Bliahgb aitebpxz carph?

Exhibit C. My God where did you find these people?

Be an integral part of the Trinity High play or be a 3rd string player on the 2008 NBA Champions?

Oh a sports question! While the Trinity High play will be remembered as a magnificent play for a while it will not get the attention from a group of people who have no idea what the play was. When you bring out the term "NBA Champion" then people pay attention. Plus those championship rings are just friggin huge and full of awesomeness.