The Weekly WYR

College Humor has graciously posted yet another addition of the Weekly WYR and I will take the time, because I have nothing else to do at the moment, to enlighten you on my choices for those most difficult of questions.

Would you rather...

Be Michael Phelps and be super famous every 4 years or be Ben Savage and be moderately famous forever?

I have never liked the idea of being a celebrity and having everyone constantly following you and taking pictures of every move you make and every shit you take. However, with Ben Savage, you only see him sporatically in the news and in movies so I'll take moderately famous over the outrageously famous Phelps who is not just famous every 4 years, but is everywhere you look.

Eat an entire Boa Constrictor while it was alive and be a bad ass or eat a dead Boa Constrictor and be a loser who couldn't eat it alive?

Not that I would ever in a million years do this but after a few bites here and there wouldn't it be dead anyway? It won't be alive the entire time you're eating it you douchebag. I think you have an unhealthy obsession and jerk it to pictures of snakes.

Never be able to wear shoes again or have to carry two briefcases wherever you went?

Shoes? Fuck shoes.

Have no one understand anything you said ever or not be able to talk at all?

Isn't this just the same thing just reworded? I think it is.

Have the sickest apartment in Milwaukee or a shitty place in New York City?

I've never been to either city and therefore cannot offer social commentary on either but I'll take the sickest apartment in Milwaukee b/c I can still drive myself around places and Milwaukee is a beer capital!

Fuck the hottest girl ever but all she does is lie there and say how tiny your dick is or bang a mediocre girl who can't get enough of how much of a stallion you are?

As much as it pains me, the hot girl would probably be talking too much, but then again so would the mediocre girl. If, for the purposes of this story, I have the tiny dick then I would say that the hot girl needs to shove it in her mouth. That'll shut her up.

Date a guy who looks like a hot girl or a girl who looks like a hot guy?

Wow.

Have a slutty mom or have a slutty daughter?

Gotta go with slutty mom b/c she may be your mom but at least your daughter isn't the town whore that you have to keep throwing guys off of. With mom, there's not much you can do about it as her child, as a parent, you can murder anyone who touches her. Excellent.