Walletsworth

I forgot I had the "trippy" Mad Lib in my wallet:

E-Mail Etiquette

When raping to your relatives in Bucksnort or to your Yiddish teacher, it's inmamous to make your e-mails as simple and skunked as possible. Here are some tips for dissappointing the perfect e-mail:

• Make sure that you don't write in all capital vaginae - it will sound like you're molestering.
• It's important to nail your words correctly. Otherwise, people will think you are stalkerly and that you don't take enough time to jew you e-mails before sending them.
• Write to someone as if you're actually cramming to them. It's very cavernous to write in incomplete cabbages and use wrong nipplers.
• Try to get to the point of your e-mail as raperly as possible. Since many people don't even have the time anymore to sit down and eat hot dogs with their families, be as gum-tingling with your e-mails as possible.

Hilarious. FYI: None of those words are spelled differently than the paper copy. That's right: vaginae (plural vaginas), molestering, inmamous, (infamous), stalkerly (I prefered 'raper-like'), raperly, and nipplers. We are sick kids.

GOERG

Ding Dong the Bitch is Gone

sorry just thought the title was too funny.

Jessy's out. I flipped out on her yet again after Daws shit all over my room YET again. But all is good. Good riddance. I will be much happier without her - in fact I already am.

I'm so pumped for Underground Sound this weekend, it'll be nice to have some down time to just think about life and plan my year out.

As another funny note, the acid I have done this summer has clearly addled my brain a little. Because now every time I'm stoned I get MASSIVE visuals when I close my eyes. It is AWESOME!

:)

Looking forward to seeing you guys at umphreys, thank you for the words of encouragement. Much love

Rolling Stone Article

This article was in the latest edition of Rolling Stone and it is about Robert Downey Jr. and it is fantastic. Click here to read the article.

The Big Come Down

Well, life has been hell since Lollapalooza.


It's like even though it's nice to actually have a weekend where I'm home, it reminds me how much I loathe this city. I hate the people here, the attitude here, the fact that I regularly meet crackheads, cokeheads, methheads, junkies. That it doesn't matter how hard I try to be friendly, and accommodating, and a good person. Nobody cares here. I'm still sitting here with maybe one real friend, who's moving back to Noblesville in 2 weeks anyway. I work so damn hard for nothing. Jessy doesn't even have to be nice to people and she still has them all begging to be her friend. I cooked a meal which took me almost 2 hours to prepare for her and a couple other people, cleaned up the vast majority of the apartment, and she didn't come back until a half hour before it was done. And told me indirectly that she just lied to me when she said she was coming home to clean up. Instead she hung out with other friends smoking joints with townies in the park. The closest thing I got to a thank you was "these potatoes are amazing." But the thing is it's not even that I'm mad at her, despite the fact that I can't wait til she leaves. The 20 mins I see her every few days are still more social interaction than I get on a regular basis. I'm embarrassed to even call someone because I've reached a point where I'm so desperate that I'm afraid the first person who will agree to spend time with will hear the story of my whole life because I want someone to get me, to give a crap, to see something in me that I have been incapable of showing since I broke up with Ben and all of his friends.
on a quick positive note, at least I saw Ben the other night and he seemed genuinely interested in how I was doing and wanted to hang out. Kinda sad that my group of friends from last year all ended up a bunch of coke addicts though.

I sit at home and contemplate the people I can't call. Most of them are acquaintances, or guys I've been on failed dates with. I want to meet people that I can actually spend time with. Someone I know I can call who will want to see me. A group of people I know I can sit and shoot the shit with, or watch tv with, and have it be fine. Just some damn company. I miss East Lansing so much, which is pretty depressing considering I never was all that much into it in the first place. At least I had friends.

Lolla was just a tease. Three days with three of my best friends in the world, seeing yet another 2 of my best friends for part of the time, along with more people who I care about. Smiling laughing telling jokes. I hardly ever do that here. And this year will undoubtedly be worse now that Sian is getting ready to move away, and I'll just be spending my time teaching class. I woke up at 6:30 this morning and couldn't sleep. So I just came to work an hour and a half early. Hence why I'm writing this post. I'm going to this underground sound festival this weekend with a girl I've talked to once and a total stranger. And I don't care. Originally I was just planning on going by myself because there's nobody who'd want to go with me. The only thing I know that I can count on here is music. And if that means that I have to spend some time with just me and the music, then so be it, I don't have a lot of other options.

I've gotta get out of here, and I'm trapped for the next year and a half. I only pray that I get into a summer program next summer so I won't have to spend another one in this hell hole, and maybe with any luck, make a couple singer friends, who I can promptly leave behind when I have to come back.

I wake up, I try to scream, I try to shout, but I'm held down. I don't know what it is, I don't know where I am, I don't know where I'm going. Just go around walking in circles, looking for a way out, looking for the sound that's gonna hold me down.
Take two steps backwards, two steps forwards, go round and round. Think positive, keep out the negative, go round and round.

The loner comes out of hiding, kinda.

As I stated in my last post, I was going to post the inordinate amount of time I spend in my room watching movies on my Lap-tastic. Well, here it is folks:

I have reached 50 new movies since the last time I posted a shit ton of movies!

I had to go through many stages to reach this almost impossibly depressing feat. Most of them involved theft (downloads, biatch). I searched the best films of 2006 and 2007, the best comedies, all animated films, etc. Instead of just leaving them in a list like last time, I figured I'd categorize them. This way, if any of you hooligans want to know if a movie is worth seeing or not, there will be an easy way to reference. (FYI: I never once thought after any of these movies that I had completely wasted my time. If you have as much free time as I do, please, see them all. If a studio sinks tons of money into something, chances are there is something that could possibly make you laugh or think. So don't be so judgemental.) Here we go.

Movies I actually saw in the theatre:
Dark Knight, Wanted, Hellboy II: Golden Army, Space Chimps, Hancock, Get Smart, Step Brothers, Wall-E, and Pineapple Express
Best: Pineapple Express
Worst: I guess Space Chimps, but it was so hilarious ::cough::stoned::cough::

My Animation Kick:
Barnyard, Everyone's Hero, Happily N'Ever After, Incredibles, Meet the Robinsons, Shrek 3, Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Ant Bully, Flushed Away, Madagascar.
Best: Meet the Robinsons or Happily N'Ever After
Worst: Everyone's Hero...Whoopi Goldberg as Babe Ruth's bat?

Action and Drama (sorry, my movies are a little weighted):
Bourne Supremacy, Bourne Ultimatum, V for Vendetta, 21, Last Mimzy, Closer, Hellboy
Best: V
Worst: Last Mimzy (left me with a lot of questions...)

Funny Stuff (and some not so**):
Loaded Weapon, Wild Hogs**, Comedians of Comedy, Run Fatboy Run, Good Luck Chuck, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (double "Chuck" feature night), My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Super Hero Movie, Mama's Boy, Charlie Bartlett, Super High Me (!), Wild West Comedy Show, The Onion Movie, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (could be more drama), Get Smart's Bruce and Lloyd: Out of Control**, The Love Guru, The Heartbreak Kid, Alvin and the Chipmunks**, Underdog** (bad double Jason Lee feature), Fool's Gold**, The Comebacks, Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, What Happens in Vegas...
(It's hard to pick a winner...)
Honorable Mentions: Super High Me, Charlie Bartlett, Love Guru, Run Fatboy Run
Dishonorable Mentions: **

"And what was the 50th movie I saw?" you may ask yourself. It was actually my favorite movie I saw out of the fifty...it was a beautifully touching story of a man dying and trying to reconnect with his son.

Life as a House.

It is starring Kevin Kline, Hayden Christensen, and Jena Malone. And Cottonmouth, Ian Somerhalder is in it (ow ow). Go see it, it is awesome. I actually cried. It is the onyl movie of fifty that has been able to do it.

That concludes my extensive list of time wasting. See ya in another bunch of cinema. Peace.


G-O-E-R-G

PS: Go ahead, count 'em.

Hey, Kiznox

You might want to reconsider cracking your knuckles every five minutes. Taken from an article on msn.com:

The same study found knuckle crackers to be far more likely to have weaker grip strength and greater hand swelling, both of which can limit dexterity. As for osteoarthritis, that's more likely due to genetics and increasing age.

Bottom Line: Try turning your nervous energy into a less harmful habit that occupies your hands (such as doodling). If a different activity doesn't get you to stop, try putting a large rubber band around your wrist and every time you catch yourself cracking your knuckles, pull it back and let it snap as a reminder that your habit really can be harmful. Most important, get to the bottom of what's causing your nervousness in the first place—you may crack your knuckles more often at work than at home, for example—and address those sources directly.

R.I.P. Bernie Mac

One of the Original Kings of Comedy, Bernie Mac, died earlier today in a Chicago area hospital from complications due to pneumonia. I wasn't the biggest fan of his, but I liked most of the stuff he was in. He did some good work. He was only 50.

Lollapalooza

I can't believe no one posted about this already...

I don't know how to say this tastefully...oh fuck it, Lollapalooza 2008 was fucking amazing! I'm sorry Kiznox, you might not want to read this post. I was able to see some of my favorite bands and none of them disappointed. Well, Rage teetered on the edge. There's just so much fun to be had at the park and in the city.

Lolla is held every year in Chicago, which is good for me, because before last weekend I've never been there. It used to be a traveling concert event, but lagging ticket sales moved it to a permanent spot in Grant Park in Chicago a couple of years ago. I'm glad I got to experience the city, because I realize that I probably wouldn't like living in a city like that. I like driving, and driving is a pain in the ass there. But there are also just so many cultures in that city that it feels like a whole new world, which is a definite change of pace.

Anyways, lets get back to the meat and potatoes.

Friday we get dropped off at the venue early and catch the end of the Bang Camaro set, which was nice, because they played Push Push (Lady Lightning), which rocked. Then we walked over to the AT&T stage to watch Noah and the Whale, but to our surprise, a band called Holy F*ck was actually playing. Luckily, Holy F*ck was pretty good, kinda techno rock. Then we met up with Ideene, which was a treat because I haven't seen here in over a year. We watched part of The Go! Team set with her. They were alright. Then we did things that I don't remember. Luckily, while we were just sitting, some guy came up to us and offered us some acid. So I took that and went to see one of my favorite bands...The Raconteurs! They were fucking amazing, as I expected. Since they only have 2 albums they played all of their best stuff and I was mind fucked with delicious music and amazing awesomeness. After the encore, which only Goerg and I stayed, we booked it toward the south end (AT&T stage) to see Radiohead. I gotta say, I'm not the biggest fan of them and I barely knew anything they played. But fuck, they put on a spectacular show, if only it could have been louder. The lighting rig they used was incredible. Everything seemed to fit too. Fireworks went off at the perfect time during one song...and it wasn't even planned! It was apparently for something at the pier behind the stage. Sweet, it worked perfectly!

Later that night we went to Jack's place where I got to see people that I haven't seen in years. The only problem was that I was having a second trip, along with a headache, so I was basically out of commission. Also, I slept on a tile floor. That was fun.

Saturday was pretty chill. We didn't get to the park until after 3, which was a nice breather. Everyone went to watch Brand New, who I could care less for. So I walked around and saw part of Explosions in the Sky, who were meh. We met up again and farted around for a while, eventually ending up at the Toadies set. They were meh, but they played Possum Kingdom and afterwards half the crowd left. Some people left to watch Wilco...why, I can't tell you. Maybe they were beaten as children or kicked in the head by a zebra when they were younger, but they just aren't smart. So we stayed near the south end and watched Rage Against the Machine. This was an interesting show. The band finally reunited after a couple of years apart and guess what happens. Everyone goes nuts. During the first song people were getting trampled, pushed, knocked around and passing out. So they had to crowd surf people out that were hurt. After a couple of songs, Zach de La Rocha had to stop and told the crowd to "look after each other" and take a few steps back. Of course no one listens, because as a group people are fucking idiots. He actually had to stop the concert 2 more times to tell people they are being idiots. Kinda detracted from the experience. But, when they were actually playing music, it was energetic. Tom Morello can sure play the guitar like a wizard. Phenominal. This night, we just went back and slept...comfortablly. Thankfully. It was needed.

Sunday, we don't make it to the park until about 3 again. First we see a band called Chromeo who played techno hip-hop with a fat, hairy, shirtless guy on the synth. While that was gross, it was a decent show. The surprise hit of the show was definitely Blues Traveler. They played their older hits as well as some stuff off of their new CD. All of it was pretty entertaining, especially their cover of The Devil Went Down to Georgia, which showcased how amazing the lead singer is on the harmonica. It was incredible. After that, everyone left to go to the bathroom and watch Girl Talk. I stayed and watched the beginning of Gnarls Barkley to see what they would be wearing when they came out. They were dressed in brown suits. I was disappointed. They started out with a bad song too. So I immediately left and joined the others at Girl Talk, and it was worth it. Not only was the show fun to listen to, I found some more doses. This brought us to the main event of the night: Nine Inch Nails! BTW, FUCK Kanye! NIN was definitely one of the greatest shows I've ever seen live. They added new flavors to classics such as Closer, which was unbelievable. The visuals and lights used during their show just added to the amazing factor. I was in a utopia of dancing and face meltingly loud music. Oh yeah, we were right next to a speaker. At one point Trent Reznor addressed the crowd and told us how much he's ready to go despite losing his voice. If he didn't say anything, I wouldn't have even noticed it was going. Simply fucking amazing.

The only bad thing about that night was not being able to go to sleep because I was tripping my balls off, into the next day until I went to sleep.

The sushi at some dump in Chicago was fantastic, along with some great company.

Best concert (musically): (tie) Raconteurs and Nine Inch Nails
Best concert (visually): Radiohead
Best memory lane moment: Ideene losing her belongings
Best story: Jack's "everyone needs to sit down" story
Best Eric: the one who let us use his place for the weekend

I hope the headliners are worth it next year, because I want to go back!

I just realized that the only people who would care about this post were there, and I just recreated the weekend for them. Oh well, I'm not deleting this. It took too long to write.

So...

Are you guys even home yet???


I miss you guys.

Also...

Thats my new thing.

Peace, Frogs.

The Monster With A Million Mishaps...

So, its around 5am and I am trying to watch the Beast With A Billion Backs for about the third time this weekend...and...still...I think what my problem with this second Futurama movie is that the first one had so much more to love. Wait, let me put it in a way that makes sense...

Bender's Big Score had so much more backing its release. The pure fact that Futurama was coming back made this film nearly perfect before I saw it. I think my issue really is that I miss that feeling. I didn't get that feeling about this film because I KNEW it was coming. It wasn't just something far off in the future that I couldn't believe was happening. I guess that excitement is something that you only get once.

So it is time to rejoin the Beast, to laugh even harder as that realization lifted any real expectations and allowed me to now see this for what it is: Itself.

Peace, Frogs.

Thinking about Clicking My Heels Together...

I decided to clickety-clack my heels together in order to get some time off of work and go where I truly wanted to be this weekend...You see, I started thinking about this:


...but all that got me was the realization that I would be shortly riding in style:


to:


to make:


for:


(Thats a mosaic of assholes, people. Laugh till you fucking cry.)

Oh well...it turns out that I am not nearly as magical as all the drugs would lead me to believe. But maybe, just maybe, I can clickety-clack my ride...my whip, as it were...

Click!

Click!

Click! Poof!



Goddamnit.

Enjoy the



And for the love of all that is holy, bring me a shirt. And someone get laid.

On the Topic of Movies

From what I've read, the next Terminator film will shoot for a PG-13 rating. I think that is complete bullshit! The other 3 Terminator films were all rated R, and they were better for it.

The same was talked about for the new Robocop movie, which needs to have an R rating to be any good. That movie was all about violence and to shoot for anything lower than an R would be nothing less than atrocious.

This brings me to my point. I saw Step-Brothers earlier today. It was pretty hilarious (overall it was meh, but it definitely had its moments). They could only achieve what they did because of an R rating and the movie was better for it. That's what I hope for Hollywood to realize. I hope they ditch the need to make movies to appeal to the masses. I say, FUCK anyone who can't see an R rated movie without guidance. They can wait, or they'll always find a way to see it so it doesn't matter. The sad thing is that shooting for a PG-13 rating ultimately gives studios dollar signs in their eyes because more people pay to see it. I say fuck that, movies make so much money nowadays that there should be a law against making movies that clearly should get a R rating, and shooting for the PG-13 rating. Fuck the masses, lets get movies for adults as they were meant to be seen!

Movie News from Comic-Con '08

There were some amazing announcements this year at Comic-Con, the uber-geek's wet dream convention.

Anyone who has seen The Dark Knight is well aware of Watchmen being made into a movie. I never read the comics, but the movie looks amazing. I might pick that one up...

There's a little vampire movie called Twilight that is generating a huge amount of buzz lately. From what I've read it was a book adapted into a movie about a girl falling in love with a vampire...or something. I'm sure kiznox will wet his pants for that one.

A new Terminator movie is set for an '09 release with Terminator Salvation, which is supposed to be a reinvention of the series. With the reinvention master, Christian Bale as the star. The Governator is rumored to make an appearance in the film.

Super awesome big news: the Wolverine movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine is supposedly done filming. The story follows Logan (Wolverine) and Victor Creed (Sabertooth) as mercenaries who join the Weapon X program. Oh yeah, and the movie has Gambit! Wet pants now.

I've never seen the original The Day The Earth Stood Still, but the remake looks stunning, and so does Jennifer Connelley. Keanu Reeves plays an alien.

Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian were both at Comic-Con promoting their stupid non-porno films. My question is, does anyone actually care about these girls and why haven't they died yet?

Sam Raimi has two bits of movie news at the show. First is a new campy horror flick Drag Me To Hell, which I know nothing about. It stars Alison Lohman, who is rather hot. The other bit of news is the possibility of a new Evil Dead movie. If they bring back Bruce Campbell as Ash, then I'm all for it.

The comic book adaptation of Red Sonja is coming to theaters in 2010, starring the super fine Rose McGowan wearing barely any clothes. I know nothing about this, but count me in!

Footage from Tron 2 was shown at the show. Makes me wish I saw the first one...oh wait, I'm sure I have at least a year before it comes out to catch up on my Tron-icles.

This little ditty called Push stars Chris Evans, a potty-mouthed (supposedly) Dakota Fanning, and Djimon Hounsou (the bounty hunter from The Island). Its sorta like a superhero movie with the "heroes" on the run. Psychic powers abound!

There are sequels to Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. The former is supposed to have a faster, smarter Jason as opposed to the slower, Frankensteinish Jason of past films. I'm intrigued, but I'm sure the movies will still (as they always have) suck.

What does Kevin Smith+Seth Rogan+Justin Long=? Probably a fucking hilarious movie. That's exactly what I hope Zack and Miri Make A Porno will become. Justin Long is a gay porn star, hilarity ensues.

Oh yeah, Robocop has been confirmed as a retelling of the original story. Looks like the new Batman franchise has started a trend...

And yes, G.I. Joe and Transformers: Rise of the Fallen are being made and are surely gonna make everyone wet in the pants. As I hear it, the beginning of Transformers is a giant action scene (Go Michael Bay!)

Sadly, most of these are about a year away.

Shia LeBeouf's rise to being the biggest pimp ever

in spite of recent potential drunk driving charges (tsk tsk Shia... I'd still jump you in a heartbeat though) I thought I'd take a few moments to discuss how Shia LeBeouf is the luckiest guy ever (so long as he's straight, which I just keep praying every day he's not)

2005 - The Greatest Game Ever Played

Peyton List as Sarah Wallis

2007 - Disturbia

Sarah Roemer as Ashley Carlson

2007 - Transformers

Megan Fox as Mikaela Banes

2008 - Eagle Eye

Michelle Monaghan as Rachel

And just for me I leave you with the pimp himself...


rawr

Babe of the Week

This girl's name is Ash Soular. She's hot and plays the guitar, which makes her even hotter

An Andy-style life list....

So I haven't really posted in a while, so here it is:

The Andy-Style List of Random Things in My Life

(I'm working on the title.)

- I have been reading Harry Potter a lot. I said I wanted to start reading more in the summer and I'm glad I followed through on something (finally). Half-Blood Prince may just be my favorite book in the series. And now for Deathly Hallows....
- The new HP6 movie comes out in about 117 days! The trailer for said awesomeness comes out in 3 days! It will most likely play before "The Mummy 3."
- After falling asleep during the Dark Knight (3 am, opening night), I saw it again. It fuckin' rocks. And Andy is getting that much crazier by the day...he he ho ho ha ha.
- Vangizzle and I went to see "Weird Al" Yankovic at the Showboat (not Riverboat, SVG) in Chesaning. He played everything you could imagine and more. It was really awesome. SVG made a good point when he said, "It's hard to rock out to Weird Al." It was a lot of fun to see him, but Scott is right. And plus, this little seven year old kid next to me kept looking to me to see if I thought a joke was funny before laughing. It was adorable.
- I have seen about 35 movies since I last posted that list of movies. I'll provide a more extensive list when I hit fifty, but until then, here are some movies I suggest: Charlie Bartlett, Super High Me, Happily N'Ever After, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, The Onion Movie.
- Umphrey's McGee is coming to Michigan and Indiana. They will play at St. Pat's Park in South Bend, IN on Septemeber 5th (I will be there!) and then they play in Michigan (!) on October 2nd. They will return to the State Theatre in Kalamazoo after five years of absence. (You know I'll be there!). The next night they will be in Muncie, IN which is about a 3.5 hour drive from here. I'm debating.
- I love Gilmour.
- I love Gilmore Girls, but haven't watched in a while.
- My friend Brian from work installed Windows Vista 64 Ultimate on my laptop because my 'Compy 386' was working as slowly as a motherfuckin' snail on morphine. Now, my compy runs like a dream.
- Every Thursday , I go to an Alphabet dinner (or I try to) with people from work. This week it was F. Fondue and Fuzzy Navels. F-antastic. I missed the week before that, but the week before THAT was D. And we had Drunken Noodles (Tofu and Chicken), Daquiris, Doritos, and Ding Dongs. D-Licious.
- I work six days a week but still only manage to scrape less than 30 hours a week. Shit.
- I saw Hellboy II with the 'rents. It was decent.
- The same night I went to see Space Chimps with Scott. It was fuckin' hilarious (in the altered state of mind.) Crudlar!
- Umphrey's McGee is still the best band to walk the face of the earth.
- Lollapalooza is in a few days. It is starting to get exciting. Most excited for: Brand New and the Raconteurs, followed closely by Radiokopf (that's for you Cottonmouth). Woot to the woot!
- I have this Add-On for FireFox called StumbleUpon. When I am bored, all I do is hit a but labeled "Stumble!" and it brings you to any random website within the categories that you choose when you install it. It is tyte. So I'll leave you with this...some make your own Motivational Posters (you know the ones I mean).

Music with Buttons

Here I Am in Life...

I just graduated college, with what seems like no knowledge. I don't feel like I have anything to offer the world, which makes getting a job a bitch. Now, I have been offered a corporate job with JJs, which is awesome...but now I don't know if I want to take it. I don't think I really want a job like that. I need a change of pace.

I went home last weekend and talked to Larry. He brought up that he might join the Navy, which is a huge shocker coming from him. But that got me thinking, why don't I join the military? I know someone in the Navy, and he's been to the other side of the world (not to fight, but to train and such) and he says that the experience is amazing. I think that's what I need right now. I think I need to get away from here. Traveling while getting paid and trained just seems right.

After graduating I thought I would have some discipline and direction, but I'm realizing that I really don't. Joining the military (Air Force, Navy, or Army) could provide me with the direction I need, along with helping me advance my skills and possibly learn a new trade along the way. Since I graduated college, I automatically start off at a higher rank/pay grade, so I have that going for me if I join.

Yeah, I do have a fear of joining and then seeing action, but I do believe that this is something that I need. My mom even told me that I should join. There are so many paths that I can choose after my service is complete that this seems like a good choice for me.

I know you guys have mixed thoughts about the military, but right now I'm about 80% sure I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna try to find an Air Force (the branch that most interests me right now) recruitment center and get as much info as possible. Obviously I'll let you guys know what I ultimately decide, but my decision will probably be within the next couple of months.

Yeah, I bet you were not expecting that one.

Someone else's Dark Knight review

Everyone out there, including myself, has praised this movie (although I have not taken the time to do a full on review, I usually leave that to Hock) but this guy gave the movie an F. Really? An F makes me want to laugh in your face. This guy obviously has a different taste in movies, for God's sake he gave Vantage Point a "B" and that was a horrid movie. Do me a favor guy, I know you waited in line and sat in a sold out movie theater but wanting to fall asleep within the first hour? Come on. Don't take this movie down with you in your bid to try and prove that the shitty movies are good and the great ones are bad, that seems to be what you've done on your reviews thus far. You want further proof? He gave the Matthew McConaughey movie "Failure to Launch" an A+. Yeah, nothing he is in deserves an C, let alone an A+.

That's my venting for the day, I'm sure this guy will also badmouth Harry Potter once that comes out too. Just a ray of sunshine you are bucko.

The Weekly WYR

That's right folks, I'm back with the next installment of the Weekly WYR, thanks goes as always to College Humor.

Would you rather...

Have your town overrun by zombies or fat girls with high self esteem?

Zombies will kill you and eat your brains which is pretty painful and, ultimately, deadly. Fat chicks...well it's about equal really. Kudos to you girls with high self esteem but come on, who wouldn't want to see an ironic thing like zombie Abe Lincoln try to eat the brains of an African American? Admit it, you would stop and see the irony.

Have popcorn kernels stuck in the back of your mouth or have a fly keep landing on your when youre trying to fall asleep?

Damn these are both uber annoying but I think the easiest thing to do would be to simply get up and swish around some water to get rid of the kernels. God knows I wouldn't want to take the time or energy to kill that damn fly, especially if I'm trying to fall asleep.

Burn the roof of your mouth eating hot food or have all your fingernails clipped too short?

Well the burning of the roof of your mouth is just a temporary inconvenience because that will go away much quicker than cutting all your fingernails too short. That is a nasty feeling for a while. Plus, the burning of the roof of my mouth happens much more often than the fingernails, so I'm semi-used to it.

Go back in time and change something in your past or go to the future and see what your life is like?

Ah, the never ending predicament. Would you go back in time to change something or see your future? I think it would take too much of the unpredictability of life out of the picture if you knew too much of the future. However, as we learn all to often from movies and TV, even the most innocent of changes in the past can dramatically alter the future. Changing that one thing in the past could alter things in this life beyond our wildest imaginations. You think you're not that important? Go to the past and change something...then let's see.

Have the monster from Cloverfield trying to kill you or Javier Bardem from No Country for Old Men?

Never seen either movie. I'll leave this one to the fellow bloggers.

Be best in the world at one thing or 10th best in the world at 10 things?

We all have that one talent, apparently, even if we don't know what it is, but 10 things? Sweetness. Now what ten things those would be, I don't have the time to think about that right now...maybe another post...

Have infinate amounts of okay pizza or have a set amount of the best pizza in the world?

Was this question written by a stoner? I love pizza with the best of them but there is a limit to it and I'll take a set amount of the best damn pizza because that's all you really need. We're talking the difference between Hungry Howies and Green Lantern pizza? No friggin contest. See you in Madison Heights.

Have your life depend on getting a swirled random password in one try or figure out a magic eye in one try?

I had to look up what a magic eye was and, because I suck at those, I have to go with the random swirled puzzle.

Be a cute polar bear with an amputated leg or a cute kitten that is bald due to a deathly illness?

Have you ever known a kitten to be cute when bald? I don't like cats anyway, so I'll take the polar bear. At least I can aggresively destroy anyone who pokes fun at me because I'm a friggin polar bear!

Personally end strife in Darfur or see The Dark Knight?

My fellow bloggers are going to hate me for this but...I have already seen the Dark Knight (tee hee hee) and it was magically entertaining and made me wish I could have the DVD already! I would love to see it again and again and again...so sorry people in Darfur, you can't compete with Heath Ledger's Joker.

I Need $5000, STAT!

There's this company called Supercar Life that lets you test a Porsche 911 Turbo, Lamborghini Gallardo, Ferrari F430 (probably my favorite supercar of all time), Mercedes-Benz CLK63 Black Series, and an Aston Martin DB9 on a closed track. So that means you can take those fucking awesome cars and drive them like they are meant to be driven...FAST AS FUCK! Granted, that's a steep price to drive an automatic (BOOOOOOOOOOO!) supercar, but you get an opportunity of a lifetime. I'd rather own one of these cars at some point in my life, but for now this is the closest I might be able to get to actually driving one of these.

Hey! Remeber me?

So I haven't posted in a while, and I'm sure you can all attest to this. But I'm sitting at work and had a sudden epiphany.

So some guys when they drink, suffer from what scientists call "Whiskey Dick".
I'll admit it happens to me. I'm sure these men see it as a terrible thing, because it turns what was going to be an exciting, thromping evening into a 'flacid' disappointment.

But did anyone stop to think that that maybe this is your body's natuarl defense mechanism to stop you from doing something really stupid? (or ugly)

So the next time this happens to you (if this sort of thing happens to you), try to think about how bad it might have been. And maybe you'll thank your penis for being a little smarter than you on this one.

Its on the Wikipedia, so it must be True!

Interesting Futurama Factoids:

In An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore uses a scene from the episode "Crimes of the Hot" during his initial explanation of global warming. The Futurama cast and crew also made an animated promo titled "A Terrifying Message From Al Gore." Gore is a recurring guest star on the show, his daughter Kristin Gore is a regular writer and story editor, and he has said that Futurama is his favorite show. The promo is included on the DVD release of Futurama: Bender's Big Score.

Someone tell me why this guy isnt running for office?

Awards:

Outstanding Individual Achievement for Directing in an Animated Television Production
2000 — Brian Sheesley for episode "Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?"
Outstanding Individual Achievement for Voice Acting by a Male Performer in an Animated Television Production
2001 — John DiMaggio as Bender for episode "Bendless Love"
Outstanding Individual Achievement for Writing in an Animated Television Production
2001 — Ron Weiner for episode "Luck of the Fryrish"[76]
Outstanding Directing in an Animated Television Production
2003 — Rich Moore for episode "Roswell That Ends Well"
Best Home Entertainment Production
2008 — Bender's Big Score

Emmy Awards:
Outstanding Individual Achievement in Animation
2000 — Bari Kumar (color stylist) for episode "A Bicyclops Built for Two"
2001 — Rodney Clouden (storyboard artist) for episode "Parasites Lost"
Outstanding Animated Program
2002 — "Roswell That Ends Well"

Environmental Media Awards:
Comedy — TV Episodic
2000 — "The Problem with Popplers"

Writers Guild of America Award:
Animation
2003 — Ken Keeler for episode "Godfellas".
2003 — Patric Verrone for episode "Godfellas"

R.I.P. Izzy

I know most of you already know about this, but Sian and Aaron had to put her little cat Isis down last week. She got very sick and was having trouble eating and keeping on weight. It's really really hard for all of us, and I just hope that wherever she is now, she's happy and not in any more pain. Please keep Sian and Aaron in your thoughts and prayers, because this came very suddenly. She was only about three years old.

Goodbye my little love, you will be sorely missed. :(

The Dark Knight Exclusive Trailer

This trailer is found on YouTube but was exclusive to Dominos Pizza for a while. If you have not seen it, it is the best trailer thus far and by far the most disturbing as you listen to the Joker talk...the dialogue from 0:48-0:57 is just chilling.



GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!

In All Things Jimmy...

and kitty!

730am Should Not be Considered Sleeping In...

But for this guy, who has been on a ridiculous schedule all week, well, it is. I think that I passed out as early as 9 last night...so its like I got oodles of sleep. My body is a complete reck.

In any case, I finally have a day off and I am super-ridiculously happy about it.

Lollapalooza Schedule Posted!

So, it looks like I'm doing shrooms for the first night before the Raconteurs who fit in perfectly before Radiohead. I'll probably be drunk the next night for Rage Against the Machine and then drop acid the last night for Nine Inch Nails. Sadly, no show goes on past 10pm, so that means NIN won't have a crazy light show. Bummer. Well, not so much of a bummer as FUCKING AWESOME CONCERTS! There are also other concerts during the day, but we'll figure that out when we get there. I guess having no show go on after 10 does give us the night to do whatever in Chicago, so that shouldn't be too bad.

Eye Candy of the Day

I was watching parts of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (good movie, btw) and Michelle Monaghan is in it. So for your viewing pleasure, and for those who don't know who she is, here you go.


She's also in the movie Eagle Eye with Shia LeBouf, which looks pretty intense. Sadly though, that one won't come out until late September. So have another picture.