Savage wrote an interesting response to a letter in Savage Love this week. One that made me laugh my fucking ass off several times.
Here is the letter to Dan:
"I'm an 18-year-old guy with an awesome kinky girlfriend. She likes getting tied up, blindfolded, spanked, and just about anything else we can think of. It's awesome. My question is this: We were watching some BDSM porn and they used these awesome contact lenses that worked as blindfolds because they were completely opaque. I've searched high and low and cannot find them. Help us out!
Ropes Should Come Included
P.S. I guess I wrote in to brag a little, too."
And here is Dan's response:
"You searched high and low for opaque contact lenses without any luck. Really? Because just .28 seconds after I Googled "opaque contact lenses," RSCI, I was clicking through a dozen websites that sell opaque contact lenses. So it would seem that bragging—about all that awesome BDSM sex you're having—was the only reason you wrote in.
Politically speaking, RSCI, this may not be the best time for teenagers to gloat about the totally awesome, amazingly kinky, and sinfully premarital sex they're having. A study released last week showed that the rate of teen sexual activity, which had long been in decline, stopped falling in 2001—despite the hundreds of millions of dollars the Bush administration has poured into abstinence education.
"The percentage of teenagers having intercourse began to plateau in 2001 and has failed to budge since," wrote the Washington Post. "Experts are unsure of the reasons for the change, but [point to] the possibility that some irreducible portion of the teenage population can never be dissuaded from having sex."
Hello, George W. Bush? You've spent hundreds of millions of dollars trying to dissuade teenagers from having sex and what are teenagers like RSCI doing? Bragging about all the awesome sex they're having. Are you going to stand for that? Or are you finally going to get serious about winning the war on teenage sex?
If you believe that premarital sex is always wrong, Mr. President, then act like it. (Let the liberals laugh about Senator David Vitter, the conservative GOP senator from Louisiana caught up in the "D.C. Madam" scandal. At least Vitter had the decency to wait until after marriage before hiring hookers to diaper him.) The current status quo is unacceptable! We can't continue to spend hundreds of millions of dollars trying to talk teenagers into remaining abstinent while their gonads and hormones implore them to do the opposite.
The time has come to take the fight to the hormones, Mr. President. The time has come to chemically castrate American teenagers.
Instead of wasting money on failed abstinence-education programs, Mr. President, put Depo-Provera and Tamoxifen, the two most effective chemical-castration drugs, into products consumed by teenagers—Doritos, Mountain Dew, lip gloss, and Axe body spray. (Some adults also consume these products, of course, but not any we want reproducing.) A chemical-castration program would not only be cheaper and more effective than your failed abstinence-education programs, Mr. President, it would also lower rates of sexually transmitted infections, decrease the number of unwanted pregnancies, save souls, prevent hurricanes, and spare elected officials who can't have kinky sex themselves anymore (thanks to fallout from the D.C. Madam scandal) from having to listen to teenagers like RSCI brag about all the kinky sex they're having."
Obvious Satire, right? Well, apparently not. Check out the response from this guy:
"I'm an 18 year bisexual writing in response to your column on the "war" on teen sex. As the son of a social worker and a psychologist, let me give you the best advice I can: Stop fighting a losing battle. I can understand every parent's concern about the matter. No one wants to be the mother/father of the pregnant homecoming queen and I know that STDs are a serious issue for everyone. No kid wants to be HIV positive, trust me on that one.
Do you really want teens to stop doing it? Sex is a beautiful experience and to deny us that is criminal. And telling us not to do it isn't helping. One of the major components of teen psychology is the desire to define themselves, to discover who they are. This tends to result in us rejecting the advice of our elders and most authority figures and leaving judgment to ourselves. We want to experiment and make choices in a world where we believe we have a safety net (IE family and other providers) and will not yet face the consequences of an adult reality.
You mention putting castration chemicals in our foods: I personally find that sick and twisted on your part. What if the government, by the same token mentioned in your response, decided to stop gay sex in general by the same means? Not so fun now, is it?
Listen, teens having been doing it for centuries, it's in our nature. If you're worry is the consequences of a bad night, stop preaching "no" and teach the choir a new tune. Sing us a song of condom use and birth control. Tell us not to use any dangerous hormonal drugs or other stimulants during sex (for Health class, I had to lecture about the side effects of amyl nitrate. That changed a lot of minds.) But if you want us to stop altogether still, then you're going to have to mouth the sweet melody of masturbation. Still gets the vibes across without any cost.
Yes, our reckless actions can sometimes lead to disaster. But we learn by what you teach, or contrariwise, what you don't teach us. We aren't all idiots, Mr. Savage. We've just gotten our lessons out of the wrong textbook. Maybe your generation can make a difference and teach us the right way.
Boy Rebelling Against Tyrannical Sex-stoppers"
Anybody else think that this was written by an overzealous parent who never reads Savage Love? I surely do. At least, I fucking hope it was.
Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.
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