An Open Letter to Mothman (click the links-it makes this entire thing 8 billion times better)
"Dear Mothman:
You suck.
I bet you had something to do with the collapsing bridge in Minnesota. It'd make sense, we all know you were there in the 60s when that bridge in Point Pleasant collapsed, you freak of nature bastard. You seem to like wreaking havoc. I wonder, has anyone in Minnesota seen Mothman lately? He's hard to miss with his fucking huge-ass moth wings, glowing red eyes, and razor-sharp teeth.
My friend Matt seems to think you're a superhero, Mothman. He says you might be trying to warn people about inevitable tragic events, or perhaps even stop them from happening completely, but do you warn anyone about anything? Have you ever stopped anything terrible from happening? No you have not! You just scare the shit out of people, make them think they're going crazy, and then leave when it's over.
Fucking jerk.
I saw that movie with Richard Gere, so I know how you work. I know what signs to look for and it just so happens that I've noticed some weird shit lately. I mean, I'm not getting any phone calls from dead people or anything, but the other day my wireless connection cut out for no reason at all. That same afternoon, my cell phone stopped working for about an hour. Was that you, Mothman? Was it?! Are you here? Are you going to bring down the viaduct? What little tricks do you have up your sleeve/disgusting wing?
Whatever it is, Mothman, you should know that I hate you. You're creepy and you're ugly and you're mean. You're no superhero, you're a giant evil bug. Stay the fuck out of Seattle. We've got those little insect-capturing cardboard tents on trees all over the place, and insect repellent is on sale at Walgreens (two for $7!). We're prepared to take you down."
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